Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

Well it's illegal to ask in an interview, isn't it... So maybe you're not obliged to disclose it? Could you temp?
I would be inclined to keep it quiet, just in case it affects what jobs you get put forward for :(

I didn't wear my wedding ring to interview at my last job because I was worried they'd assume I wanted kids right away/go on mat leave and take the man I was going against.

Thanks, I'll keep quiet for now then

Sorry to hear that, winter. I hope you have better news v soon.
Good luck with the job application kinky
May going to budget here so far, keeping focussed. Have a good weekend .

Dhs car went in for repairs yesterday, but they didn't have the part (something to do with shock absorbers and also power steering, so will order the parts and repair it when they return from hols in 2 weeks. In the meantime I've paid the 300 quid I'd allocated for the repairs into the overdraft, hopefully bringing the charges down a bit til we need to withdraw it again That brings our overdraft down to 543 pounds for now.

Mortified been clearing out my cupboard and found stuff from my pre-frugal days.

2 dresses, tags still on, 2 sizes too small (Id have been planning to diet into them)...receipt = 179.

Make-up from Debenhams, untouched...receipt = 63.

Slopes off to Facebay

Yes, but mum4fergus you would never dream of doing that nowadays, and look on the positive, if you can get £100 for the lot, that could come off your debt. Or, could you take it back to the stores and exchange for credit notes - then use the credit notes to clothe the children? Or buy essentials ie if the toaster breaks etc? If that makes sense :)

I went into the Scope charity shop on my way home from work today and found a beautiful pair of Austin Reed work trousers in my size in great condition for 5 quid! I couldn't resist. There was actually another pair too in a slightly darker grey, but I resisted buying them

Fab!! Hope they look good :)

I love them!

I only buy clothes from Ebay and charity shops for myself, but have never found anything as good as these before.

Have it all listed now...on a more positive note the food budget is 30 underspend this week so that's going towards OD

I've had some great charity shop and eBay finds, it's all about persistence
but I did get suckered into buying things for a while because they were "cheaper" than in the real shop, and then never wore them I'm much more careful now.

I'm in the process of doing a huge house sort out at the moment. It's a hovel. We have piles and piles of clothes and I don't even know whats in there.

As I see it, my options are:

1. Donate the clothes we don't need to charity, or to DS's nursery for spares.
2. Chuck them all out.
3. Wash all the dirty ones (some of the piles are clean clothes, some not) and take them all to one of those places that pay by weight.
4. Ebay them.

So far, I've been doing a combination of 1 and 2. I don't know whether 3 is even cost effective. Would I get back the cost of the electricity and the powder used to wash them all?

I've never sold on Ebay before, so I haven't a clue. I'm an excellent buyer though part of the problem.

Debt update (post wipe-out of savings!) 11/5/14

CC1: £4692 £4595 £4532

CC2: £3781 £3675 £3659 £2,859

Car hire purchase: £3764 £3108 £2944

DH Old Student Overdraft: £1940 £500 £0 GONE & closed

CC3: £1692 £0 GONE & Closed

CC4: £1405.49 £0 GONE

Total: 17,274.95 £13,944.54 £11,799 £10,335

We paid for our Christmas travel home to see family out of the savings before paying off debt - this was about £400, which we'd have struggled to save up otherwise.

I should have a small surplus again on payday to roll off CC2, and DH is getting the last dribble of his OT and Freelance money on 31 May too, which will go straight off it, as will the £500 refund for the laptop, which will be about 8 working days after they collect it on Tuesday this week.

iamthegod
if the clothes are named designers and in good condition, look them up on completed listings on ebay and see if they are worth it

everything else take to charity shops

missannersley
you are doing REALLY WELL, and seem to be 'enjoying' the process rather than resenting it, so will be more likely to stay within your means from now on.

Wow I've missed a lot a new thread lol

Anyway my appointment with the money matters team on fri was helpful woman was really nice have 3 choices

1. Put my main catalogue and credit card in a debt scheme takes 9-10 to clear and I'm not allowed to use them during this time
2. Go bankrupt - all my catalogues credit card etc will be cleared down side might lose laptop due to bring with bright house also need to read my lease on the house to see what it says about tenants going bankrupt
3. Pay my main and important things ( council tax etc) and think of the catalogues as less important pay them what I can and start looking into a cheeper place to stay as she agreed with me my place is too much lol

So have a few weeks to think and make a decision got another meeting with them xx

Hello - well gone to Miss - those figures are really coming down now!

Mitsi- sounds like you have a lot you have a lot to think about. It's good that you're not rushing in to anything and that you obviously plan to come to the decision that suits you!

I have managed to only spend £5 this week other than a £55 food shop (I received an email for £15 off Tesco this week which was a boon) and my train fare to work. I would feel proud if it weren't for the fact that this frugality was down to having absolutely nothing rather than bring good!

Still waiting for my P60 so I can ring CTC to see if I'm entitled towards any help with child care this year. If not savings will go out if the window and it will be back to minimum payments on all cards. Fingers crossed.

Thanks TiP I am enjoying it, weirdly, I get a real kick when I get some extra money (like this refund) and know it will take us that much closer to debt-freedom.

It has really made me see how even small purchases could put us back there though: budgeting properly (i.e. finally waking up and seeing stuff like regular family birthdays, travel home for Xmas, car insurance, tax, dental bills etc. as REGULAR and not "unexpected" expenses has shown me we just don't have the wiggle room that we seem to have.) Sure, we earn good salaries but life is damn expensive.

Dh's new job for instance, he'll need probably 2 or 3 suits for that and we're already planning how to budget that in rather than wait 'til August and buy 3 suits on the credit card.

One good thing is that the school I work for has a second hand shop for the boys' suits (they wear suits of their choice rather than uniform) and DH is only 5'7/5'8ish and slim, so there's a really good chance we can get him 2 or 3 really nice suits for only a few quid, if we keep checking. Some boys grow out of their new suits within 1 term, and they're from rich families so often designer/good quality too.

DH is finding it more a of a struggle, (not surprising really since 90% of the debt is his credit cards run up by living slightly outside his means for 5ish years!) but is coming round slowly. He is feeling much less stressed about money already and can see the benefits, which in turn is making him feel better about living on such a shoestring!

Oops sorry for the essay... Sunday avoidance of marking

We've just has a NSD which was surprising. DCs requested going out and going 'somewhere'. We were very close to going to awful soft play or something....

But frugality prevailed.

We took the dog out to the local nature reserve with some sweets. DCs were rewarded for challenges... Spotting an animal (not a dog), hopping over a bridge etc etc. I felt like bloody super nanny but my god it was a success. The kids thought it was marvellous, and it was FREE.

We were tempted to stop at the pub with a playground on the way home but resisted. (And lied to them that it was shut).

Everyone relaxed and fairly happy

Lookrightnow the mindset changes are well underway : well done

Mitsi
I LOATHE debt schemes as they seem to be universally to the benefit of the firm arranging them, not the debtor.

If you possibly, possibly can, convert ALL of your card debts to standing orders next week at £1 more than the current minimum payment and then ignore them for a year

while that is under control, move to somewhere cheaper and get the accommodation back in line with the earnings

and all the while, the cards will be sorting themselves out
(debt companies hate me ) read my spreadsheets thread to see why : I'll bump it

NSD here today and Child Benefit in tomorrow - my first payment for two children. My mind is whizzing with all the various ways it can be put to use, none of them directly to do with the children I would so love to buy the girls a summer wardrobe with it.

Oh Pixie I get that completely. But they'd far rather have a more secure future and solvent parents. Your baby will be most comfy in a baby grow for months! My DD just loves running round in nothing but a nappy and when I do dress her up she ends up covered in muck in five minutes anyway x

Designer/label clothes are UTTERLY wasted on all children under the age of 12
and then let them choose for themselves after reading the price tag

flash clothes for kids are all about appearances and trying to impress people
but those who most matter are least likely to give a stuff

save the money for something worthwhile

Hideously expensive day here. Ds has a long school trip and we didn't have any of the necessary clothing (don't have tracksuits) so spent fifty quid in a sports shop. However, we did trek round everywhere to avoid spending too much, and have managed to get the lot incl toiletries for 70 quid. Slightly fed up but not really any choice - all friends are going so can't borrow any, and not sure they'd lend is several track suits that are likely to come back muddy and torn!