Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

Hello woodchuck! Just start posting!
Tonight I decided to stop faffing and start paying.
250 to dh cc
50 to my cc
100 to my loan (reducing the term by a month and saving 40plus pounds of interest!!!!)

Jan 2016 is really near though isn't it? I always think things are miles off, but actually one day it will be Jan 2016 and you will either be saying 'thank god we didn't spend all that money we paid off the cards' or 'I wish we'd not done the lunches and costa'

Evening all...jeez, we're moving apace again,hard to keep up! Not much happening here, or indeed until next pay day. Had a picnic lunch by the sea today so NSD again...will only need fresh bread/milk this week so budget should be grand. DS though came home with 3 party invited,will need to sit him down and make a choice...eenie meanie minie mo!!

Moneyone, I work in payroll and our office is generally smart but not suits. Most people wear trousers & top, dresses, skirt & cardy, that kind of thing. I feel really embarrassed saying it but I literally have one pair of black trousers and a few tops that have seen better days. I have a couple of dresses but they are looking tired now. I used to have lovely work clothes but shape has changed so much after 2 dc that none of them fit any more. I have sold some of them for next to nothing on ebay so doesn't even give me enough to buy new ones.
I feel so self conscious as the other ladies always look so well turned out. I never thought I'd be someone who couldn't afford decent clothes but my family's requirements have to come first. Dd is 2 and she most definitely has a better wardrobe than me!!

Jemster I'm in the same position. Colleagues all well turned out, have grown up children and husbands that earn well, so wear expensive clothes and have their hair dyed every 6 weeks. I have 2 pairs of work trousers, both old, and one skirt, also old, and 3 tops. 1 pair of work shoes and plantar fasciitis, so can't buy cheap shoes.

Jemster
for dark trousers - ask at a charity shop
for tops - TK maxx or look in the twinset section of teh charity shop, because then you add a scarf or a necklace and you can make up 10 outfits easily
BUT
if you are good at your job, the fact that you do a Dave Attenborough (the same blue shirt in every shot, but there are 30 of them) will not count for much

Aah thank you TIP, I like to think I do my job well and I enjoy it. I would just like to look & feel better and I do think nice smart clothes in the workplace boost confidence. Why does everything have to be so flippin expensive?! I've had stuff from Next (and landed myself with big Next store card to pay off) and it's been rubbish and looked tatty after a couple of washes.

Hi Wood! Welcome - this is a very safe and supportive place to be.

Jemster - I can't afford many clothes but tell myself I have a 'capsule' wardrobe to make myself feel better, the main trick is to make sure all your clothes go together do having a limited colour pallet is a good start. I have made one or two eBay errors but did get a lovely Whitestuff dress for £8 a couple of months ago. Charity shops in small out of the way villages often have amazing bargains too.

woodchuck
welcome to the gang
( how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood )

Jemster - can you revive anything with fabric dye? Could you change the colour if the dresses?

And I know there are ethical issues but someone I see regularly looks amazing on well put together Primark outfits.

I have gotten loads of amazing workwear both on eBay and in charity shops - I have 2 pure wool suits (skirt & jacket) that I got on eBay, a couple of mix and match black jackets and grey "city dresses"... I interviewed for my current job in a jacket that was from Oxfam!

You need to know what size you are in certain shops and be willing to take the risk that it still might not fit, but I bought a work skirt from eBay and when it was too big sold it on for more than I paid.

theviviennefiles.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/project-333-from-sublime-to-ridiculous.html?m=1

Apologies if the linkie doesn't work (technically inept lol) but I found this blog a real eye opener in terms of pulling together capsule wardrobe. I've really pared down but have more outfits than ever as I'll only buy something that will fit in with what I have and make me at least 5 new complete outfits ...

TiP - so you don't think badly of me I did spend the last three months checking out Facebay and Freecycle for furniture but I couldn't find anything nice to fit our ridiculously shaped flat. If I had started looking as soon as I got pregnant I might have had more luck but I just ran out of time in the end and genuinely needed something now. Excuses, excuses!

Nerf I love that you suggested fabric dye as I have jut spent the morning with a vat of Dylon! "Brand new" dresses coming up.

Can any of you wise Debtors think of something exciting to do with sweet potatoes, sprouts, cauliflower and broccoli? I want to have a NSD but we have no meat and I can't think of anything to do for dinner except boring steamed veg or soup

Pixie - What about a nice gratin dish if you've some white/cheese sauce you could pour over? Or a variation of bubble n squeak?!

I'd go:

sweet potato, cauliflower and broccoli curry (roast veg first for extra flavour!) with pan-fried sprouts (par boil, slice in half, fry in oil, add a sprinkle of lemon juice, cumin or cumin seeds, or a sprinkle of dessicated coconut if you've got it)

OR
Tagine:
oven roast sweet pot, cauli and broccoli and sprouts with oil, salt, pepper, dash of cumin/coriander, crushed garlic

meanwhile fry an onion, garlic, add can of tomatoes, pinch of cinnamon if you have it. Bring to boil and simmer for 10-15 mins until jammy/thickening.

When veg is nearly done mix the sauce into the tin and finish in oven.

Serve with crusty bread or couscous if you have it. You can pour a bit of plain yoghurt over it too.

--
if you have fresh coriander / parsley then that would be great to serve sprinkled over.

Oh my lord, I'm going to ask for dinner advice more often - you two are amazing!

What's for dinner then Pixie?!

Milk and bread bought today so budget still on track

Spendy day today after 2 NSDS. Shopping for the werk, £71 from Tesco. I suspect I could do cheaper at Aldi, but that is for 4 of us plus cat, all breakfasts, packed lunches and dinners. Plus I love my Tesco rewards, always use the Fuel save to get 6p off a litre of fuel, and also het cashback through my 123 reward account.

I went to the optician this afternoon, was nearly a year overdue for my eye test (money saving fail, health should always be in the budget! ). As I thought, my pewscription was worse than before. I picked up some nice glasses, and got sunglasses free, ehich I desperately needed since losing mine on a water slide last summer. It was costly to get my lenses thinned ( totally blind) but eyetest was free so I only spent £155 in all. ( and Tesco so CC points too!), I would usually spend ovr £200 easily at Vision Express. I have
Put this on my 123 card to be paid in full next month, normally only use thos card for fuel and food so al mohthly spends come out of our account as bills, iyswim.

Prepped all the veg for tagine and DH came home with fish and chips Thats the budget spent until Friday.

pixie
tell your DH he is a silly ARSE to even consider takeaway food on a Tuesday.
(a) chips are unhealthy so should be a once a month treat
(b) FFS which bit of look in the fridge first does he not get.
feel free to read my comments out to him

Pixie I love fabric dye!

Just wrote a long message and lost it!

How frustrating Pixie Can you use the things you listed tomorrow instead?

Spendy day here. Dh needed new work trousers and a shaver (bought from his tax refund) and talked me into buying myself some work shoes. On the plus side they had 20 quid off, down to 29 quid. Also needed new pop socks for work too. On the plus side we had free coffee and cake with a voucher at John Lewis and free coffees later at M&S with my reward card.

Fingers crossed for Friday, please, dh's car is going in for repairs.It's been making an awful noise for over half a year and we couldn't afford to take it in til he got the tax refund. I'm really hoping it isn't going to be too expensive, but we have no idea what is wrong with it.

I try to always make sure we have aldi fish portions and oven chips in the freezer so we can have a fakeaway if we really crave it. Having said that, we've gone from probably 2-3 takeaways a month to having a "fakeaway" once a month at most. Now, takeaways are reserved for special occasions and holidays and seem much more of a treat than they used to.