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This is such a nosy question but if you are a sahp, how much does your partner earn to make it viable?

352 replies

WideWebWitch · 08/09/2005 20:53

I fully expect people to change names for this but I have long wondered: if you're a sahm/d, how much does your partner earn? In other words, how high does one salary have to be in order for 2 people and child/ren to survive? And what does your partner do to earn this? I'm not asking out of anything other than total nosiness so do tell me to bog off if you like! Name changers extremely welcome!

OP posts:
edam · 08/09/2005 20:55

Good question www. No idea how people manage on one wage. I've heard people say 'we cut back' but that suggests they had something to cut in the first place!

QueenOfQuotes · 08/09/2005 20:56

Well when we bought this house on a £110k mortgage over 25yrs - 1yr ago (OMG can't believe we've been here that long) DH was on £16,500 -and there was no need for me to work.

He's now on £12k (but earns commission) and I'm looking for a part time job but that's mainly to help pay off the debts, rather than because we need to IYKWIM. Once the debts are reduced then I probably won't need to work

lazygoodfornothingSAHM · 08/09/2005 20:57

dh's salary varies quite a bit but this year he stands to earn about £48-£50k. He works in manufacturing

charliecat · 08/09/2005 20:58

Well dp was earning 25000 on his payslip9soon to be made redundant) But that turns into about 250 a week (after tax) in cash each week. Take 75 quid off that for child support, pay the 90 quid rent and we have enough for 40-50 quid food and one bill paid.

purpleturtle · 08/09/2005 20:58

I've been a SAHM for 4 and a half years, and dh was earning £17k by the time he finished in July.

soapbox · 08/09/2005 20:59

Hmmm! Me thinks this all come's down to your definition of 'surviving'

AnotherSAHM · 08/09/2005 21:01

Dh earns £57,000 but when I became a SAHM, we were on roughly equal salaries of about £24,000. He works in engineering design.

Chandra · 08/09/2005 21:01

Well, I suppose that it very much depend to what lifestyle you are used to, and how much you are prepared to scarifice in order to stay at home. According to my university a family where one is a student parent can survive with 13,200 + 2300 p/a per child.

Nemo1977 · 08/09/2005 21:02

dh goes to work and earns 18,000 plus bonus about 3 times a year depending on targets. It is a big drop as before he worked part time while doing a phd which was funded and i earned 22,000. So yes we cut back a lot as in no holidays, hardly go out, no impulse buying and generally not a lot of treats. We have a ds who is 2 next month and no.2 due in dec.

QueenOfQuotes · 08/09/2005 21:03

oh and when DH had his 16.5k job we spent about £80-90 a week on groceries, went on holiday (only UK mind you ), went to Wickstead park, enjoyed a bottle of wine now and again etc etc. So certinaly more than 'surviving'

womanwithnoname · 08/09/2005 21:03

dh earns approx £45k per annum (varies as he's self employed). Our mortgage is £900 a month.

ItShouldBeEnough · 08/09/2005 21:07

but it isn't

jessicaandbumpsmummy · 08/09/2005 21:08

My DH earns roughly £19000.

We pay
£200 rent (Army)
£400 debt management
£200 bills

That leaves £300 a month from his wages. I get £182 a month for tax credits and child benefit so total is £532 to clothe, feed and run car etc.

Yes we are skint most months, but we make do. No flash holidays, meals out or anything like that.

mancmum · 08/09/2005 21:09

I guess the point must be that the working partner has to earn enough to cover the bills that were paid when both were working with enough left over to support 3 or more ... which is the case with me and my SAHD DP. I am lucky that i earn enough to let him stay home and bring up kids... we don't have a huge amount left over so holdays and extras are a bit thin on ground...

I guess what is interesting is how much people feel they need a week after all their bills have been paid... for us we reckoned if we could survive on 200 quid a week after all the bills were paid we could afford for DP to give up -- 200 quid has to clothe, feed and entertain and transport us... it is a struggle but I think it is worth it for a few years..

kama · 08/09/2005 21:11

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ItShouldBeEnough · 08/09/2005 21:12

We have a very large mortgage.
DH earns 62, 000 and I still work PT to pay for the nice things.DS has reduced my earning power as I am not prepared to commute.
We waited a long time for DS so consequently we have greater expectations re lifestyle. Not talking champagne and caviar, but wine in the evening and Sky for DH, whilst I spend my evening on here.

kama · 08/09/2005 21:12

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rummum · 08/09/2005 21:20

we earn nearly £18.000 between us..
hubby 15.500
me about £2.500
£60.000 mortage
run 2 cars
and live in the south east...
and we get £160 wftc..
and have 2 kids.. things are just getting easier...

ps... how would you change your name

crunchie · 08/09/2005 21:28

If dh earnt what I do I would be a SAHM. I have a baic of £30K plus bonus. We don't have a huge mortgage (80K) and do live quite well. With dh's wages, he's an actor, his wages cover the childcare, his bits and bobs (Books/cd's) and pays for luxuries like holidays (camping) sky+, eating out etc. It frees up my money so I can buy what I want too. We are soooooooo lucky to end up with approx £100 week each of disposable income once all bills are paid etc. This goes towards clothes (me) and books/cd's/dvd's (him)

We are very very lucky, but I don't see us as 'rich'

fqueenzebra · 08/09/2005 21:51

In 2003 I suported our family income was about £18k (no mortgage, either), and that was very very very tight for us.

Now, DH earns ~£27k (or ~£1770/month take home, I think). Plus my child benefit (£140/month). We don't have a mortgage (bought the house for cash). From that I am determined to set aside £200/month which will pay for 3 things:

  1. airfare to California (for 5 people!) every 18 months,
  2. a weeks' annual holiday in the UK costing ~700,
  3. to fill the oil tank once a year (£450).

    I always thought we were careful with money, but am thinking now that we must be really wasteful, because with that kind of income it seems like we ought to be saving loads... instead it seems likely that we will have to budget carefully to afford the heating & trips to see my California family.

    So I would say, for people living like us, £27k/annum + whatever you need to cover your mortgage.
starlover · 08/09/2005 21:56

dp earns around £28,000
we have one ds (7months)
i also get £66 child benefit and £83 CTC a month

our rent is £500
plus all our bills, food etc

starlover · 08/09/2005 21:57

oh yes and we run 2 cars

shysahm · 08/09/2005 21:59

DH recently reduced his hours, to @23k (Their choice)

We have a £80000 mortgage and have paid for our 1 car.
I choose to spend money on quality food, we have wine most nights and can afford holidays though a fair few of those are camping/youth hostel/family stays. I buy craft stuff and magazines as a treat.
I don't spend as much on clothes-charity finds, and disposable products like nappies/wipes- I use cloth and flannels. I also don't spend much on activities like play centres, eating out and coffees out.
We pay a fair few bills but try to minimise where we can, like wearing jumpers instead of heating.

AS someone said, it's about what people consider treats/essentials. Our budget is fairly tight at the moment but I could make savings if I wanted to. When both of us were working, we still economised and were frugal, we paid off an extra £200 on the mortgage each month and saved £300 odd quid also. But we did spend more on eating out and cosmectics/clothes.

lilsmum · 08/09/2005 22:04

dp earns abour 20k, plus bonus's and annual pay rise.

i work self employed hairdresser, dont do many hours, but can earn a bit extra if need be.

we have 1 dd, and i get £68 CB a month. we dont get any WTC as they overpaid us last no payments this year.

we manage ok, could be better of course, but we get by,

rent is £390 per month, but just getting ready to sign contracts on our 1st house, mortgage of 85k.

lilsmum · 08/09/2005 22:04 did you manage to get a 110k mortgage on 16.5k a year?

(just nosy) x

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