Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

[littlebellsmum]

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

MLS - it's amazing what sets you back isn't it? I met someone last week who has a lovely bump and similar edd to me. Managed to avoid blubing but certainly didn't know what to say.

Although, seeing a scan picture was always going to be really tough. Eat more chocolate.... Be gentle on dh - he's probably feeling the pressure too - give him choclate ( if you can spare any)

Kate - nothing wierd about not feeling weepy - you feel what you feel and you have a lovely wedding to plan to focus on. Feeling not weepy is good - sign you are moving onwards and upwards.

Kate - you might need to be strong over the next few week, if you would have been 13 weeks now, you might find more pregnant women coming out of the woodwork.

i feel bad about moving on is that normal as its not been long dont get me wrong wat has happened to me has been the most heart breaking and devestating thing that has happened to me i never thought i wud be able to move on let alone this soon . i may be different wen i see my coisin at my wedding with a nice bump arrragghh lol

Nooo - I think it's normal to move on. I never felt that I'd feel " normal" again and for the first 2-3 weeks, I wasn't. Even my dh agreed. And it was also the worst thing that had ever happened to me too. However, after chatting to the lovely ladies here, I started to feel much better and now, most of the time, I feel back to "me". An older, wiser, more sympathetic me but me none the less. And I don't feel bad about that - it doesn't mean that I don't wish I was still pregnant, it doesn't mean that I wanted the LO any less, it just means that I'm starting to move on

And don't worry about seeing your cousin - you'll be the one in the drop dead gorgeous dress, sipping champagne. She'll just look a little fat..

lol that is true il be the thin one for once

yeah i no wat u mean . u girls on here have be so amazing and my friends have been such a great help i cudnt have got though it without you all

Thank you everyone for your messages of support, I have found reading this thread very helpful today and am feeling a lot more positive this evening. I am an optimist and don't want to give up hope until it's 100% certain, however also don't want to build my hopes up only to have them dashed again. Will see what they say on Tuesday.

Really good to hear of others moving on from this, and what fab news anniecam - keeping everything crossed for you.

Fingers, toes and everything crossed. This thread needs good news...

Ok it seems there's a lot of pg women out there that's not us. Have been told of 2 this weekend and it's a real kick in the teeth. But I am also an optimistic person and it WILL be us one day!
It's been 2 wks since I found out that my baby had died and I can't believe that I can feel normal sometimes. It does make you feel guilty but I have to admit that it's nive to forget even if just for 10mins.
Kate I hope you have a wonderful wedding. You'll be the focus of attention on the day and will barely have time to register your cousin. Remember to enjoy your day as you're making memories to share with future little ones.
Hope everyone else is bearing up and chocolate reserves aren't running low.

Neeko - how can chocolate stores be running low when Easter is coming up?! Have you seen the size of the big mini eggs, egg - my ds's eye's nearly popped out of his head !!

I live very close to a 24hr supermarket so my stores never run low. Can't beat the choc on an Easter egg either - perfect thickness!

Morning everyone
I am off work this week as have to go into hospital and I'm being driven mad by my own company. Luckily this is the only day I'm alone as tomorrow and Thurs my DH will be with me in hospital and the other days my BF will be here with me...

I just had a text that made me so angry from a couple we know saying 'so sorry to hear your news, just know we are with you.' They have no idea how this feels, they have a lovely little DS who was conceived and delivered with no trouble. Hmph. Feeling bitter.

As to the not crying thing...yesterday was the first day I didn't cry properly since being told on Thursday. I think it just comes in waves...sometimes I feel normal and that I will easily cope with moving on, other times I feel horrendous and bitter at anyone with children/pregnant, and wondering why me? But I guess that's normal.
Hope this week goes ok for everyone..I just can't wait for it to be over.

Hi Cupcake hope you're bearing up. I hated being alone after I found out too. Think it was the thought that I truly was alone. I hope everything goes well while you are in hospital. Will be thinking of you.

Told my best friend about MC today. She's a bit annoyed that I didn't tell her before but understands that I was just looking out for her. Definitely feels better now she know.

Hope everyone else is hanging on in there. This thread's been fairly quiet lately. have you all moved on without me?!

Hi cupcake - it is horrible being alone. I was on my own this morning for the first time since I found out, but managed to distract myself with lots of cleaning! It's good you've people with you for the rest of the week.

Neeko - it does help once you've told close friend I think. I told a good friend of mine this morning - I hadn't seen her for a couple of weeks, and in fact the last time we were at a party together and she said today that she had wondered if I was pregnant because I looked so happy, was drinking ginger beer and had a bit of a tummy on me! She was wonderful and said all the right things - I had a bit of a cry and felt much better afterwards.

Well, we have the second scan tomorrow and I am preparing myself for bad news. I'm feeling very scared about what will come next, I don't feel as though I will be able to cope at the moment but I guess you just do .

Evening everyone. I think crying goes on for a while, Cupcake, it was probably 2 weeks before I didn't cry myself to sleep each evening. Partly as I set myself rules that crying wasn't allowed during the day ( my 4 and 5 year olds just wouldn;t understand!) and so, bed time was my time.

Hope everything is sorted nice and quickly in hospital and that you get access to the internet as your never alone when we are here!

BonyM - tomorrow will soon be over and then at least you will know. Fingers and everything crossed.

Neeko - well done telling your friend, it's got to be better to have a good friend to talk to

Hi Wasn't very clear earlier. Have had lots of suport but hadn't told best friend as she is pg and has same due date as I had.I knew about her pregnancy but she didn't know bout mine. Wanted to wait til she had her scan and had time to enjoy the excitement of it all before I told her. She was definitely hardest person to tell -although she was wonderful bout it - and it's going to be hard to follow her pregnancy when I know I would have been at the same stage.

Hello ladies!

Well the net has let me back on - wouldn't let me onto Mumnsnet for some weird reason but tongiht have broken in - yay!

Annicam - great news - hope all continues to go well for you.

Well I started my 1st period on Saturday ironically after talking to my sis on phone, goin "Hmmm how long will it be?!" and it's been heavy! Having to wear pads as well as tampon - sorry TMI! When it started did have a little weep as was just a reminder of what I have lost, but now am trying to focus on the positive that it means we can start trying again.

Work been manic, so don't have much time to think in the day. Had a moment in the loo earlier where I wanted to weep about my lost baby, but managed to compose myself and get back to work. Hate those random moments when they hit you.

Also am struggling when people show me their scan photos at mo, particularly a friend who was due a few days ahead of me. Feel so sad, and also insanely jealous of them, but at same time am thrilled for them. Weird huh?!

Ah well guess we can all stick together in our cave chomping on chocolate and drinking wine etc til we're ready to venture into the world again?!

Hi, ok if I join? I've come home today after 3 days in hospital after losing baby at 10 weeks. It was a surprise pg. We have 3DC and had not planned anymore. We spent the first few weeks in shock and had just started to get our heads around having another and starting to look forward to it and now the baby is gone
I had to have a scan this morning to check how much I had lost. She told me everything had come away but the baby I'm really struggling with knowing that the last big loss was my baby.
I really need to talk to someone about this but feel that my DP and family are coping with the loss themselves and that my lovely, lovely friends don't know what to say.
I have been on the ward trying not to cry and now that I'm home I don't seem able to stop
My DC have all missed me and just want their mum back (they've been staying with my mum) and I have no idea how I'm going to get though tomorrow

BuckBuck welcome to our thread, I'm sorry for your loss. I was the same, held it together throughout my time in hospital then cried for days when I got home. We'll all look after you on this thread. If you have questions just ask. I'm off to work in a minute but everyone else will be along soon.

BionicEar glad you got back on the internet was wondering where you'd disapeared to, and you've survived AF too well done for being positive about it.
Those weepy moments sound familar, I'm still at it 7 weeks later.

Neeko I'm pleased you finally told your pregnant friend.

Welcome BuckBuck Sorry for your loss but hope you find some comfort on this thread. i have found my DD helps me though but it's the moments I'm alone that are the hardest.
BionicEar know exactly what you mean bout those random moments. They are really hard but at least you are now looking to try again.
I got my BFN after MC yesterday and despite no AF we are already trying. Kind of helps just to know that you're doing something positive even if hope is slight.
GracieGirl you always sound so strong and positive on this thread. Thank godness for you!

Thank you Neeko and GracieGirl

I've pulled an allnighter and wrote a letter to DP saying some of the hardest things. I woke him up at half five and we had a cup of tea and the letter got us talking.

We live in quite a rural place so we've been for a walk and watched the sun coming up and listened to the birds and I'm feeling much calmer. I don't feel up to seeing anyone yet so it was nice to be out with no one else around.

We're off to pick the DC up soon and I can't wait to see them.

It's comforting to know that there is somewhere to come where people know exactly how I'm feeling.

Welcome BuckBuck-sorry for your loss but you're in the right place here among ladies who understand. I think our DP/DH have it hard as well, men do tend to bottle their emotions up and not talk about it as much. Its only really been the last 2-3 weeks that my DH has been really able to talk about whats happened and im now 8 weeks post
mc.Your DC will help you through this as well. Just make sure you give yourself time to grieve, cry as much as you need, punch a few pillows, and eat chocolate.

GracieGirl-Thanks for well wishes and link for Emmsys Onwards and Upwards, I,ll pop across there as i 'know' them from this thread but im going to try and 'ignore' this pregnancy for a few weeks as am so fearful of it all going wrong, my plan is to stay on here and pop onto the 'knicker checker' thread if/when i get to 8 weeks.

Hi all, well had 2nd scan this morning and they confirmed missed miscarriage, 6wk foetus but 10wk sac, so hopeless.

It seems that medical management is the only viable option as due to end of year budgets etc(!) I would have to go on a waiting list for surgery and they are very busy so tried to dissuade me from this. Medical management seems pretty grim as I would have to go through it on a general gynae ward (no option of even paying for a private room in nhs hospital as they don't have any) and they cant fit me in until next Tuesday anyway.

I have just been ringing around trying to see if there are any private consultants that do this but am drawing blanks so far. Feeling pretty rubbish about it all - it's going to be hard enough going through it anyway without having to do it in public. It seems so backward that I can't even have privacy for something like this.

Hi everyone, sorry for not saying hello for a few days.

Welcome to Buck and sorry for your loss you are in the right place, we at least have some idea how you feel, even though no one feels exactly the same, but we know how heart wrenching losing your baby is, and the struggle and pain of having to cope afterwards.

back to anniecam and keeping fingers firmly crossed

Welcome back bionic - i had my 1st af a couple of weeks ago, sounds just like yours, and it too reminded me of all the mc pain and blood, but at least you know things are working again. I'm hoping my second one wont be anywhere near as bad as the first.

BonyM sorry it was bad news, i am thinking of you and sending you postive thoughts, remember you are not alone, we are here to keep you company.

Being on here has definitely helped me come to terms with things, i dont think i have cried now for a whole week, even though its never far from my mind, i think i have got over the grief and am just being very angry now! Just been to Asda where i saw loads of newborns and pregnant mums but instead of going all teary i marched past them is this my next 'normal' stage?

love and hugs to you all xxx

BonyM - so so sorry that it has been confirmed for you. Sounds like we are at a similar stage though you were 2 weeks further on than me. (We had scans at 6, 7 and 8 weeks and they confirmed at 8 weeks the baby had died)
Just been this morning for the first stage of medical management. We waited for 2 hours and then when the doctor saw us the first thing he said was 'so this is an unwanted pregnancy?' I burst into tears. He then kept referring to my DH as my 'boyfriend' the whole thing just really upset me.

Anyway, have taken the tablet and nothing happening so far. I really want the bleeding to start at home I don't really want to go through the worst of it on a gynae ward on Thursday, like you BonyM. Feeling in a very dark place at the moment and just hoping and praying there are no further complications after the medical management, like needing extra surgery.

After hearing all you girls talk about mini eggs I was really craving them so asked my DH last night if he'd get me some for Thursday...he stared at me for a second then said 'I already got you some!' Haha! I am so glad I have him through this!

Hope everyone is holding up ok today.

Oh cupcake, so sorry that the doctor was so insensitive - this is such an terrible thing to be happening anyway that the last you need is thoughtless comments like this. I do hope things start to happen soon for you - agree it would be easier at home. Will be thinking of you over the next couple of days.

So sorry for your loss Buck - I hope you find this thread as comforting as I have done over the last few days. The ladies here are lovely.

I finally spoke to the ward that I will be on next week and they said that in fact I will be in a "cubicle" with its own toilet which is not the impression the other hospital gave me this morning so I am feeling relieved that it won't be as public as I had envisaged. Two of my good friends are going to look after dd2 that day (dd1 will be away with relatives anyway that week) so I don't have to worry about her now.