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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
Neeko · 31/03/2009 17:12

BonyM and Cupcake my heart goes out to you both. I had the op so can't really help you with the medically managed issue but just wanted to say my thoughts are with you both.
Bluemoon nice to see you back! Sounds to me like you're starting to move forwards.
Hi to everyone else.

cformilo · 31/03/2009 17:45

Had miscarriage 2nd Feb.12 weeks.Didn't take time out of work i felt better talkin to people about other things and taking my mind of it.I didn't tell work friends didn't want them fussing. but tend to loose it when im by myself still.Do these emotions last a long time??

BuckBuckMcFate · 31/03/2009 17:59

anniecam38, BonyM and Bluemoon thank you all for your welcome, it has helped today to know that there is a place just for us.

Neeko, you sound so lovely, what an awful position for you to be in, you're very brave.

Cupcake and BonyM so sorry for you both

I was on an open ward with 3 others and it is difficult but the painkillers definitely helped me to block a lot of it out.

I've made it to now with only one little cry at lunchtime, (REM 'Everybody hurts' song was on an advert for abused dogs and it set me off), I read earlier in the thread that someone else was saving up their tears til the DC in bed, DS2 was very upset that I was in hospital so I've been doing my best to be normal around him today and reassure him that mummy is fine.

I'm still on a lot of tablets though and feeling quite woozy.

Also, I have gone up 3 bra sizes and was wondering how long it takes before they go back to pre pg size?

Take care everyone x(

BlueMoon1981 · 31/03/2009 18:24

Hi cformilo welcome to our thread, i hope you will find some comfort here.

I had my miscarriage around the same time as you, everyone copes differently, i was a mess for about 4 weeks i'd say, but slowly and surely the tears became less frequent, and i realised that nothing was going to bring back my baby so i could only look forwards. Having said that it is very difficult, and i do still feel overwhelmingly sad at times. I only had a couple days off work and only told those i had to, i hate people fussing like you do.

At the moment keeping myself busy is the best way, i have an over active brain that thinks too much. Things will get better for you, time is the best healer, don't rush yourself, you will find yourself slowly moving forward, but you will never forget, and the emotions that you ask about will get better but never truly go.

We will help you when you are feeling down

The girls are hooked on mini eggs if you want to join in

cformilo · 31/03/2009 18:43

Mini eggs as in to eat?!! if so with the stress havent been eatin like i should.Went from 57kg to 45kg and am now trying to eat meals but feel sick of the thought of it.So its just pickin when i feel the need.But am trying to get out of it.your strong on the outside but dead on the inside.

BonyM · 31/03/2009 18:49

Wish I could lose my appetite . Despite the stress I still seem to be ravenous and my stomach seems huge to me - I look pregnant, still nauseous on and off (only relieved by eating) and still weeing 3 or 4 times during the night. It's cruel that my body is still behaving as though it it pregnant when I know nothing will come of it.

Sorry for your loss cformilo.

cformilo · 31/03/2009 19:03

Dont forgett the not sleeping the constantly knackerd!! nxt time im coming back as a man.

BuckBuckMcFate · 31/03/2009 19:07

cformilo, sorry for your loss

I do believe that you need to talk about how you're feeling and hope that being on here will help you.

And taking care of yourself is important. Do you need some iron to help build you up?

cformilo · 31/03/2009 19:15

IM going to send my daughter to get me some mini eggs see if that helps!!smile

cformilo · 31/03/2009 19:30

I tend to keep everything to myself. you think people get fed up of you feeling sorry for yourself.When they havent a clue if they havent been through it.I find it better going to work coming home then locking the door.My partner finished it in january because he said i became to needie! not knowing i was pregnant at the time.Didnt realise i became so needie but now i know why i may have come across as needie hormones without knowing it.

BuckBuckMcFate · 31/03/2009 19:36

Oh cformilo, that's so hard

Did he ever know that you were pg?

I know what you mean about not wanting to pee people off by seeming sorry for yourself.

Have you told anyone in RL what has happened?

BuckBuckMcFate · 31/03/2009 19:38

And what does he mean by Needy??

That's what a partner is supposed to be there for!!!

cformilo · 31/03/2009 19:47

wanting him to be with me all the time. But i didnt know i was pregnant untill about a week after he finished it. maybe with the hormones going on i didnt realise i became needy!! I now dont say hormones i say his child

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 31/03/2009 20:23

Evening ladies - what an eventful day for us all. And all in all pretty crap, me thinks

Sorry that you have to join us, Cformilo & Buck buck

Cupcake and Bony - what a rubbish day for you both. Sorry sorry that the bad news was confirmed, Bony and Cupcake what a rubbish doctor - nil point for his bedside manner!

Cformilo with your partner - sounds like you are better off with your dd. No wonder you are feeling bad - a mc and no partner. My mc was about the same time as you and I also acrried on as normal. Felt pretty dead inside for a while (empty was the phrase I used) but now feel a lot better.

Neeko, Bionic and Bluemoon - good to hear you all sounding more positive. Must be all that chocolate...

OP posts:
GracieGirl · 31/03/2009 20:49

Evening all, just home from work.
Neeko trust me my positiveness is a very recent thing I assure you, if you look back onto thread 3 you'll see what i was like back in early February!

Cformilo welcome to our thread, I found out about my missed miscarriage on 2nd February too. I had 4 weeks off work as was physically unwell for quite a while, also I work in A&E so I look after women having miscarriages on a daily basis so didn't want to go back till I felt ready to do that.

Cupcake I can't believe your doctor!!!!!! Whilst we all know both medical and surgical management of miscarriage is the same as for a planned abortion of an unwanted pregnancy we don't want to be reminded of that at the time, nor mixed up with people having abortions!! Its the same treatment but for a completely different reason, and people need treating completely differently too!

BonyM when did we suddenly get transported to the third world where hospitals can't afford to give patients operations they need! Good that you have a cubicle to yourself though.

Buck my breasts didn't shrink till I had my AF. (I wasn't in a rush to shrink back to normal in that area as I was pretty lacking to start with!)

BlueMoon1981 · 31/03/2009 20:53

Hi lbm glad to hear you are feeling better

Have stocked up on the chocolate today it certainly helps!

BonyM wish i could lose my appetite too, i can't keep eating chocolate all the time!

Regarding what you were saying about feeling pregnant, my body behaved like yours until i had my first af, then things seemed to get back to normal. Its a cruel thing that your body does to you, i hated mine for playing tricks on me. Hopefully your body will right itself soon, i found i couldn't even begin to think about moving on when i still felt so pregnant. It will get easier.

to neeko - hope you are doing ok

BionicEar · 01/04/2009 00:37

HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS!!!! Hope everyone caught one of those hugs, cos seem like we all need them at the mo, along with endless supply of chocolate of course!

Shall I tell you the most ironic thing I keep seeing since my miscarriage? This blardy bus around town with advert for vitaims (pregcare?!) for when you're pregnant. Wherever I have been this week, I always get stuck behind it in traffic and believe me have been stuck in alot of jams this week! Talk about having to face things! Still am determined not to sit behind it and weep, much as I want to.

Anyway just popped in to wave and throw hugs at you all. Must retreat to bed now as got busy day ahead at work - oh joy of all joys!

gigglechick · 01/04/2009 01:14

hi all. more hugs from me too.
sorry cant post much atm, have been catching up on how it's going for everyone.
more chocolate all round, I think.
Am still feeling physically total crap ...7 (almost 8) weeks on and waiting for another consultant app and surgery. i just soooo want it over with.

GracieGirl · 01/04/2009 06:18

Giggle you changed your name! I'm easily confused.

Neeko · 01/04/2009 07:20

OMG you were all busy when I wasn't on MN!! Has taken me 20 mins to catch up on last night's posts so need to be quick or I'll be late for work.
Welcome to cformilo and hope you're bearing up. These ladies have kept me sane(ish) over the past few weeks and hope we can do the same to you.
Hope everyone is ok today and is making the most of the Easter chocolate supply. Do they still stop selling mini eggs after Easter?!!!

Neeko · 01/04/2009 07:22

MLS Are you still out there? Haven't heard from you in a while. Hpe you're doing ok.

cformilo · 01/04/2009 08:48

Talking to you lot im doing somthing about it just booked a doctors app for the depression and the not eating 11.50 this morning.Then i might be able to join in with the mini egg eating!! before easter.

BonyM · 01/04/2009 10:08

Morning everyone - how is everyone today?

BionicEar - all the buses here seem to have that Pregnacare ad on the back as well - talk about rubbing salt in the wounds.

Had a rubbish night last night - couldn't sleep well and every time I did drop off I kept dreaming about it all. Dh obviously couldn't sleep either as he got up at about 2am - so of course I was wide awake as well then. I went downstairs to find him and he came back to bed and I had a good cry and we finally both fell asleep again. I just want this all to be over so that I can move on - I really wish I didn't have to wait until next week and that it would start on its own.

MumofAdela · 01/04/2009 15:01

Hi

I've been reading the threads on this forum since 2nd Feb, when I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I'm so sorry to read about so many other people in a similar situation. But I've found it a real comfort too, as I felt I was the only one.

I'm very very lucky to already have an 8 year old daughter, and becoming pregnant again after so many years was a fantastic surprise ( I'm 45 ). Having recovered physically since Feb, I'm now desperate to get pregnant again. Do you think I will/can, given my age ? I'm becoming obsessed with it and already have a supply of pregnancy tests in the house. Every slight twinge I get in my stomach makes me go checking if I've come on ( sorry, I haven't got the hang of what all the abbreviations used in these threads mean ). I'm due on this week and so hope I don't. I just want to do a pregnancy test all the time. Do you think this will pass with time? I think it's highly unlikely that I'll either get pregnant again, or have a healthy one, given my age. But having had the luck before Christmas to feel pregnant again, I'm obsessed with the idea.
Thanks for listening/reading.
Lou

BonyM · 01/04/2009 16:08

Hi Lou - so sorry to hear about your loss.

I am in a similar situation to you - I have two dd's, 11 and 4, and was surprised when I found myself pregnant a few weeks ago at 42.

Sadly, the statistics aren't great for us over-40s: 5% chance of conceiving each month and then 50% chance of miscarrying. However, a lot of women do have healthy pregnancies and babies over 40 and a friend of a friend has recently given birth to her third child at 45.

I'm not yet sure whether I want to try again as I don't know if I could stand to go through this a second time, but was Googling this morning and came across this website. It might be helpful to you?