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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
Neeko · 24/04/2009 09:13

Thanks for the hugs. Feeling a bit better today.

cupcakefairy · 24/04/2009 13:23

Becks so glad the procedure went well. That's so sweet what your dh said.. mine too keeps reassuring me that we will appreciate our children so much more now.

I noticed a huge change in my mood once the bleeding was slowing down too so hang in there girls
I had 7 days off work. But thankfully for me as it was over the Easter period I only went back to a 4 day week, then had another week's holiday already booked. I couldn't have gone straight back into it all otherwise. Take as much time as you need cupoftea Iggypiggy I too will be so stressed with worry if/when I get pg again...but that's why we are all here to hold each others' hands

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 14:00

I'm in so much pain. I've taken ibruprofen but they haven't touched it yet. I'm curled up. How long does this last??

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 14:16

Cupoftea you poor thing. Take paracetamol too, get a hot water bottle and snuggle up on the sofa with your duvet.

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 14:20

Cupoftea are you bleeding too? Do you need to ring your early pregnancy assessment unit? Try a nice warm bath. I'm here to hold your hand.

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 14:37

Thanks GracieGirl- yes I am bleeding quite heavily now. It's so horrible. I feel really embarassed but I've asked my dh to come home from work I'm due to collect my little girl from nursery in half an hour and right now I cannot bear the thought of moving. I've also got my 22 month old who follows me into the bathroom asking, 'what's that blood? You sad mummy?' It's not fair on her to see so at least if dh is here he can take her to the park.

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 14:38

Sorry for the TMI by the way ladies!

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 14:53

Cupoftea I'm pleased to hear your DH is on his way home, you need more than a 22 month old and us lot on Mumsnet for support! If you think you need to go in for a check up do it before the weekend starts as no doubt it will get more complicated.

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 15:02

What would they do at the EPU in terms of a check up GracieGirl?

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 15:08

I'm afraid its a bit of a postcode lottery, you get a different service in each hospital. Now i assume your nearest hospital is Northampton General hospital? My DH works there as a doctor. Just rang him and he says to go to A&E if bleeding is heavey or the GP walk in centre next door to A&E is open 24 hours a day and they could admit you do the gynae ward if they thought it necessary. Who arranged your first scan? or was it your routine dating scan?

iggypiggy · 24/04/2009 15:09

cupoftea I have to be honest and say the pain I had on easter sunday was dire but my body was clearly trying to get something out - and the pain eased alot once I passed something quite big (sorry for tmi).

My Dad is a Dr and my mum a Nurse - so i had on had medical advice as was staying with them at the time. My Dad prescribed a large glass of wine (works for period pains too!) and i just stayed on the sofa - pacing a round a bit from time to time to ease the pain.

Not sure if that helps? I was quite lucky and would say was only 3 or 4 hrs with the worst pain - then it settled to sort of milder cramps and lots of bleeding. Am sure we all different tho.

Hugs to you xx

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 15:09

My DH says there is an Emergency Gynae Clinic at Northampton General but he's not sure of its opening times. How's the bleeding and pain doing?

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 15:16

Wow GracieGirl- what a star! And how lucky having a doc for a dh to give you advice. Yes my hospital is NGH and I think I might ring the gynae ward, just to explain what is happening.

Iggypiggy- by the sounds of it, you were in lots of pain too It's like a kick in the teeth- your baby has died AND you get to be in loads of pain

I have now taken 2 ibruprofen and 2 paramol (paracetamol and dihydrocodeine), have hot water bottle, still in PAIN. When I move (even on the sofa) I can feel the blood loss.

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 15:17

Cupoftea just trying to find my advice sheet I was given at the hospital about how heavy the bleeding had to be before you should seek medical advice. Can't find it, I didn't bleed with my MMC until I got to hospital for my D&C so didn't take much notice of the advice sheet. At least it sounds like you have a 24hr alternative to A&E in Northampton, as A&E can be a bit of a nightmare, so you can curl up on the sofa and see what happens.

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 15:20

Has your DH made it home yet? Having a doctor for a DH has its advantages except for when you have a miscarriage they are too busy looking after other people 90 miles away to come home and hold your hand! (sorry grumpy episode over with!)

cupofteaplease · 24/04/2009 15:39

Ok, I have rung the Gynae clinic. They were great, very reassuring. She got out my notes and said she remembered me with the no heartbeat, heartbeat, no heartbeat scenario (great, already have a name for myself!)

Anyway, she explained that 3-4 hours of intense pain is usual, after that, or at any point where I feel I am not coping then just to go in and they will have a look. In the night she said to go straight to A&E. She is keeping my notes out on reception in case I need to call back. I'm loving NGH at the moment, they've been very helpful.

Dh is ringing his mum now to explain the whole situation (we hadn't told any parents about the pregnancy yet) and I think he's asking if they can have them over night.

iggypiggy · 24/04/2009 15:42

cupoftea is a really miserable time, hope your DH gets there soon.

I could also feel the blood loss - I did read somewhere (and graciegirl might be able to confirm this? or might have better info?) that you need to watch how often you need to change a pad. If it's once every 45 mins then you might need to go in. I changed quite a few times, then it settled down to every few hours quite quickly - so I didn't have to go to hosp.

I think there are only 2 things to avoid - tampons and baths!

I really wished I'd had a hot water bottle - so maybe that would be good? I felt v. cold.

Graciegirl Is good having a dad who's a Dr - but not sure about a DH - the hours they work!

iggypiggy · 24/04/2009 15:49

cupoftea cross posted - that's really good xx

GracieGirl · 24/04/2009 16:01

Cupoftea good to hear DH is home and you are getting parents support too. Northampton general staff sound nice and very helpful. Iggy is right about watching how often you need to change your pad, obviously not an exact science so ring the clinic back if you aren't sure about anything.

Just about to nip out for 2 hours, I'll be back later to see how you're getting on.

LovelyPear · 24/04/2009 20:18

cupoftea I hope the pain has subsided a little now. Reading your posts just now brought it all back to me, it's such a horrible thing to go through.

Don't feel at all embarrassed about asking your DH to come home from work. I did the same and was glad I did as I needed the support and didn't want to be alone with DS. Glad that you had Iggypiggy and GracieGirl to help you out too.

Just look after yourself now and rest if you can. I didn't realise how much it had taken out of me until 3 days later when I felt sick and exhausted from trying to carry on as normal. Not sure if it's recommended, but I found drinking guinness with dinner helped me feel more human!

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 24/04/2009 21:21

Cupoftea - hope you are feeling better now. The guidance from my Red cross trained husband and my gp the next day was if you loose enough blood to pass out - that is too much and you should go to A&E.
Mine was 10 + 5 and complete and the main, painful bit happened when I was home alone with my 5 yr old. I can so relate to you not wanting to move - by the time dh arrived home from work, I was reading far more bed time stories than normal and just couldn't leave my " nest" on the settee. And when I did ( apologies for tmi!) - it was just horrible, blood everywhere. I then spent about 2 hours on the loo, in tears. Luckily, dd had been taken to bed by then and didn't have to watch.

Neeko - very tearful? Sorry to hear about how hormornal you are being. ( from the non symptom spotter!)

Love to everyone else - Cupcakefairy how was your holiday?

OP posts:
Neeko · 24/04/2009 21:40

Hi Cupoftea Hope you're coping ok and the pain is passing. Take care.

Littlebellsmum don't think hormones are anything to get excited about. It's a tear tomorrow since my beloved gran died and think it's more that than anything else. How are you? DH out that you're on MN?!

Hello to the rest of you lovely ladies

cupcakefairy · 24/04/2009 22:36

It was lovely thanks LBM great to get away again after a week at work and now getting back into it slowly!

LovelyPear know just what you mean about emotions hitting you after a few days...the night we left the hospital I was weirdly giddy, laughing and joking - I think it was the shock and the relief of it being over..2 days later I crashed right down.

Cupoftea glad your dh has been sorting things out for you and wow- GracieGirl you're definitely the right person to have around in a crisis

GracieGirl · 25/04/2009 07:23

Morning all,

cupoftea I hope you are managing ok, thinking of you.

cupcakefairy Hello - I kind of left this thread about 6 weeks after my miscarriage & joined everyone on the Emmsys Onwards thread, but I've been lurking since and saw that cupoftea was in pain yesterday and no one had replied. Couldn't let her be alone at a time like that. I'm meandering back to my other thread now, shout if anyone needs anything.

cupofteaplease · 25/04/2009 07:47

Morning all,

A HUGE thank you to GracieGirl and iggypiggy for taking the time to post yesterday when I needed help. I'm thankful to say that the worst occurred during that time. I managed to sleep the whole night without changing a pad, which was a relief. My IL's took the dds overnight so we had some peace and quiet.

However, I'm a little because I haven't told my family about the pregnancy/MC. I confided in a sister who was not very supportive, so I decided not to tell anyone else. Unfortunately, since dh confided in his mum yesterday to ask for help with the girls, she has already told her husband (understandable) and also dh's sister. I only know this because sister rang dh to ask about my bloodloss on her mother's behalf I asked dh to pass on the message that this is not gossip to be shared around the family and I'd appreciate it if she didn't tell anybody else. Unfortunately I don't know who she has already told.

I now feel I should tell my mother, as she would be really offended if she found out from someone else. Unfortunately my mother is of the 'well it's for the best, pull your socks up and get on with it' brigade, which I'm already doing, so I don't need patronising.

Gosh, what a big moan!! Perhaps I am being mean, but I really wish MIL could have kept this between herself and FIL AIBU? (Wrong thread, I realsie!)