Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

[littlebellsmum]

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

Thank you for your messages. This forum has been really helpful to me during this rubbish time. I spoke to DH when I got home and he said to not get too upset because I might be PG myself before my friend has her little one so I suppose that has cheered me up a bit I have eaten a whole bag of mini eggs and drank some wine so that has helped me along the way

BonyM take care of yourself and as other people have said eat lots of chocs.

BlueMoon1981 you are right our time will come (that's exactly what my mum said to me today)

Neeko thank you for your words of encouragement I am supposed to be meeting up with my friend in a few days and at the moment don't feel as if I can do it but know I can't avoid her forever and its best to get it over and done with

Kay glad to see that you are enjoying the magic effects of choclate
Cupcake enjoy the baking and the weeks away

Got to go - great song on Jools Holland - Carol King singing you've got a friend... Just like MN!!

Iggypiggy Really sorry your fears came true but at least the decision for ERPC has been taken out of your hands. Time and chocolate will help you to heal and we're all here to hold your hand.
Bluemoon Thanks for the chocolate tip. Have tried the big eggs but not the wee ones. Guess where I'm going today?
It's horrible that so many of you from the November thread have found your way here but good that you can be there for each other.
I agree that we will all have our babies some day [hopefully sooner rather than later] and we'll be rewarded for our patience by one's that sleep!
Hope your all ok. Stay strong.

cupcake thanks v. much - is true we were all together on the other thread - so is sort of nice to still be together, even though is for a horrible reason. And, yes this was my first pregnancy after ttc for 6 months (i know that isn't that long).

I'm a bit worried in general about what to do because I paid for a private scan - so this has all been with a private consultant, so haven't been to a hosptial at all. He said he wouldn't recommend ERPC as it is so small - so it wouldn't be nescessary. He sounded to me like he thought waiting for it to happen naturally was the best option - but the other option was to take pills. So he gave me the pills (have to use 4 as pessaries, then swallow one 4 hrs later - then swallow another 4hrs later if nothing happened.) I think i will wait till after the easter weekend - then if nothing happened take the pills

When i got home yesterday my NHS scan date had been posted to me plus my booking appointment details...

Anyway - thanks for all of you thoughts & support - is great to be able to talk about it here - especially with people who know what its like xx

My advice would be to throw out the NHS scan stuff. The midwife at EPAS took mine from me the day I found out about the MMC. The whole thing is bad enough without visual aids to have you crying. I think your plan sound like a good one as it's probably best if it passes naturally. Be kind to yourself.

morning all. just wanted to send a huge hug to cupcakefairy, iggypiggy, c1ndy and kay*. I just don't know what I would be doing with myself if it weren't for mn at the moment.

Cramps and bleeding seem to be coming and going in waves today, but they have slowed down massively since Monday evening. I'm really hoping that I won't need any further intervention after my follow-up scan on 14th, but I suppose if it's for the best then it will have to be done.

I told all my nct friends yesterday (DS is 13 months), and they were really lovely about it all. DH worked from home yesterday but we're alone again today, so I'm just going to make sure we're busy. Can't wait for the long weekend when we can all be together again!

By the way, I'm with you on the chocolate. I demolished the best part of a lindt bunny last night. yum

Oh how horrible. Thankfully I was never made to fill in this mystery 'pink form' so haven't had any stuff sent to me...that would have probably sent me over the edge!

Didn't realise your scan had been private...surely they should still offer for you to be admitted to hospital while you miscarry; it is a daunting thing to go through. You should try calling your local EPU direct, mine have been really good.

I think it's a good plan to wait a few days though if you have already had spotting (I hadn't had any for a week before we were told baby had died so didn't want to be waiting up to 6 weeks to mc naturally) and then see what happens.

I know 6 months isn't 'technically' a long time to conceive but I know it feels like FOREVER when you've decided you want to have a baby...we only actively tried for 3 months and every day of it dragged so much I just wanted to be pregnant! Meh. So I know you must be feeling down

iggypiggy, I agree with cupcake - if you can go through it in hospital then so much the better as they will be able to give you stronger pain relief.

I had my initial scan privately and they then booked me into the EPAU for a second, confirmatory scan so that I was then in the NHS system. To be honest, although I had originally thought that I would rather be at home, I was glad in the end that I did it in hospital. In fact they wouldn't allow me to do it at home and only let me leave once the sac had passed and they could check that the bleeding wasn't excessive. I also have a follow-up scan booked in the EPAU in 3 weeks time to check that all is clear.

lovelypear thank you for the hug - I totally agree - am getting no work done - but MN is really helping me.

I think I may get in touch with EPAU locally after easter if nothing happened - am little bit worried about being alone while stuff happens. although will have dog for company

We can keep each other company. I'm alone with DS today, and still having painful cramps etc.

As long as you have those emergency tel numbers to hand, you don't need to worry. Easier said than done I know - I was terrified - but physically at least it is manageable.

I have just been to supermarket to stock up on stuff... ie. drugs and pads!

Hope the cramps go soon - hope the DS is being a good distraction?

Good thinking. Yes, DS is keeping me busy which is great! Just put him down for a nap so hopefully he'll sleep for an hour while I potter about and try to avoid housework!

Cramps have subsided for now. In a way though, at least I know that the cramps are happening for a reason, and hopefully I won't need an ERPC/D&C.

Actually I just spoke with my midwife who is back from hols. She was great and when I asked about the risks with ERPC she said there are small risks with everything, but said not to be concerned about it leading to complications in the future. I know that's just one midwife's opinion, but it makes me feel a bit better.

Iggy Piggy - I found the NHS scan good and bad - good as it was 2 weeks after my mc and it showed everything had gone ( the epu and my GP suggested that I should go for this reason) and bad as it was just horrible being told there was " no sign of pregnancy"
Hope the cramps pass soon, Lovely Pear. I had my m/c at home and the cramps lasted about 2 days max. But having your midwife available will help reassure you.
Hello to Neeko and BonyM - it's a great tip to through out your NHS stuff, I had my booking in appt the day before my Mc and still have the folder etc in my bottom draw that I open very occasionally..

Sorry cupcake, I forgot you - didn't mean too. How's your day today, started the baking yet?

Hi LBS how are you today? Just posted on the other thread that I read selenium is really important in preventing miscarriage. 2 brazil nuts a day are enough and both partners need it.
Hope everyone's ok today.

I know, I saw it and am going shopping now!

morning all, hope everyone's ok.

Thanks for the message, littlebellsmum. I'm only getting small cramps now, but still bleeding quite a lot. I think my hormones are screwy today, as last night I started crying and couldn't stop. This morning I just feel achy and rubbish, but I'm going to see a friend this afternoon so hoping that will cheer me up.

Good tip about selenium. Must remember to add brazil nuts to my shopping list!

Morning all. Thanks LBM I'm ok..no baking done yet I am waiting for Bank hol weekend! Though my DH did make a load of easter crispy cakes last night for his work and let me have one, hooray!

Got a bit tearful again last night too LovelyPear I have been fine til then but yesterday 2 friends put up photos of new baby and big pregnant belly on facebook and that got me a bit upset...I was saying to DH 'why is everyone else allowed a baby and I'm not?' but I am starting to look forward to being able to try again in a few weeks. (DH is definitely looking forward to it after this 'no bd' rule from the nurses!!)

Hope everyone is ok, and those of you at work are enjoying the fact it is last day before a long weekend, I know I am!!

cupcake I think you're doing so well. You're allowed to cry once in a while so don't feel bad.

For what it's work, my DH is also v much looking forward to the ban being lifted as went completely off it as soon as I found out I was pg!

Having a v hormonal day today and I'm all over the shop. Not helped by super-insensitive MIL phoning me up and asking "are you all recovered then?" and coming out with various other clangers that had me in tears the minute I got off the phone.

Iggypiggy, you're quiet today - hope you're ok. xx

Oops. I meant "for what it's worth", and "I went completely off it as soon as I found out I was pg".

Thanks LovelyPear - and sorry to hear about your MIL! I get on ell enough with mine but even she can come out with some corkers! They know just how to wind you up don't they!

That's funny, I was more up for bd than ever when pregnant but didn't want to at all once we thought something might be up with baby so by the end of this 'advised time' it will be a good few weeks... we are on hols next week though so that'll be good
Still feeling quite sad today but focusing on the fact I now have another week off hope you are feeling better too...and hugs to everyone else, it seems a bit quiet lately!

Thanks cupcake, I'm feeling lots better now DH is home and we have the long weekend ahead of us.

Sorry to hear you're feeling sad today. But glad to hear you're on hols next week . Yep, the old MIL is like a bull in a blimmin china shop sometimes, but I know she means well...

It's so quiet on here tonight! I guess everyone is en route for their Easter hols! I for one am looking forward to a quiet weekend with DH and DS. xxx

Evening ladies - I'm so pleased that my mil never knew I was pregnant or had an mc - she is lovely but would have been a nightmare. Very much of the stiff upper lip and getting on with it generation!
Good to hear you are both looking forward to the weekend - it's quite hard in the early days to look forward to anything. But then it is Easter, that well known choclate fest and so, clearly worth looking forward too.
And cupcakefairy, a holiday to look forward too? Going anywhere or just relaxing at home?

Hi.Sorry to stick up for the MILs but mine was great with me. She had a MC at the same stage as me 30 years ago and was really empathetic about the whole thing. Se went on to have my SIL after that and was very open about the stress side of things so think she'll be good WHEN I become pg again (being positive )
Cupcake and Lovelypear glad to hear you're both coping. I hope this weekend's chocolate fest helps to lift your spirits.
We're also having a quiet time this weekend but that's exactly what I want. Wouldn't be upset if AF wanted to join us so I'd know that my body's still working.
Hi LBS You sound upbeat today

Aw Neeko that's lush about your MIL, glad she was so supportive. I'm not a big MIL hater don't worry ;) mine is really lovely it's just that she makes those 'jellyfish' comments without even noticing sometimes I think! It's only cos my DH is her PFB and she just adores him... can't blame her ;)

LBM yes we are off to Devon for a week so hope the weather stays good! If not I will just have to sit in our cottage scoffing chocolate all week...oh well!!