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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

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iggypiggy · 06/04/2009 15:56

Thanks so much for your comments/ thoughts everyone - is helping v. much

I think I will talk through options with my doctor tomorrow (assuming is bad news - which I 100% think it will be) at last weeks scan it was measuring 6 1/2 weeks and had slow heartbeat. I had spotting on Thurs and again yesterday - have just noticed some more today... maybe will happen anyway before tomorrow.

Incidentally - am so sure that will not be ok cos on Monday I had PG symptoms and by tues they all vanished - every single one - I also just know if that makes any sense

I have never cried as much as this week - an never in the same way - is horrible isn't it?

Neeko · 06/04/2009 17:50

iggypiggy I have everything crossed for you but it's good that you are trying to be optimistic. Loss of pg symptoms was my 1st sign that anything was wrong but I really hope it means nothing in your case. Be strong tomorrow.
LovelyPear welcome to the thread. i'm so sorry to hear your news. i know that this is a very scary time but if anything I've learned that us women are tougher than we give ourselves credit for so you WILL get through this. If it all becomes too much do phone A and E. Don't feel silly about doing it.
Take care both of you

LovelyPear · 06/04/2009 19:57

thanks 2ndDestiny and Neeko, it really does mean a lot to have someone to talk to and to hear others' experiences.

It seems as though the process has definitely started. Luckily I went out this afternoon and stocked up on huge pads and painkillers with codeine (must have read yr mind Destiny). DH is home from work now and will work from home tomorrow which is making me feel lots better. I really hope I won't need to make any calls to A&E/EPU but will be very careful and have all the numbers to hand.

God, this is horrible. Sorry everyone for the long message. Iggy, I know about the crying - it seems to take me by surprise at the moment. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed that it goes as well as possible. xx

BlueMoon1981 · 06/04/2009 20:01

Welcome iggypiggy and lovelypear, sorry that you have to join us, there's nothing i can say that will make things any easier, but please feel free to ask questions or vent your frustrations on here - remember most of us will have been through it too.

iggypiggy i was lucky (or unlucky depending which way you look at it) and had a natural mc so i didn't have any decisions to make, and can't give you any useful advice on this.

lovelypear my bleeding was just like an odd period, moderate flow, some small clots, cramping in abdomen and back ache (sorry for tmi) and lasted nearly 2 weeks. my pg symptoms seemed to last for ages afterwards though, it was like a cruel trick my body was playing on me.

hi neeko, i was laughing at you imagining me talking to bf about ahem ice cubes i'm sure he would think i'd lost the plot! but i don't think i'm prepared to go to those measures just yet!

feeling sorry for myself today - managed to get a cough and a cold, and have pulled a muscle in my neck. so consequently when i cough or sneeze it hurts like hell!

hi to all the other girls

Neeko · 06/04/2009 20:45

Hi Bluemoon It's nice we can giggle at times isn't it? You do wonder who comes up with these things (and whether you'd use one cube or two!!)
I had been feeling really positive yesterday and today but found out tonight that an old friend who has been trying to fall pg for a long time thinks she's miscarrying. It brought all the feelings back and then DH and I had a row So much for my praising of him earlier! Thank goodness for MN and you lot!

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 06/04/2009 20:52

Good evening ladies - IggyPiggy and Lovely Pear - welcome to our cave but sory you have to join us. I hope it brings you the support you need.

I can't comment on a choice as mine was natural - but I have to be honest, it was just horrible (I was 10 +5). Like the worst period ever - I spent most of the evening on the loo crying - just couldn't leave as so much blood and clots were coming out. Lots of crampy pains but paracetamol and ibuprofen were very good. It was just all the gooey stuff - my best description was that it was just like what happens after you have a baby but you didn't have a baby to make it worthwhile. And yes, the crying went on for sometime although I didn't "let" myself cry during the day

MummytoAdela - I hope you are feeling better today and that your doctor was sympathetic

Hello to everyone else

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Original poster
littlebellsmum · 06/04/2009 20:53

HI Neeko - we crpssed. Poor you - DH was just having an off day obviously!!

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Neeko · 06/04/2009 21:01

Don't stick up for him LBS! How are you today?

C1NDY · 07/04/2009 13:04

Iggy (big hugs) sweety I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I was on the same thread as you so I really do feel your pain. I am sobbing here, and praying that all goes well for you... crying does help, so if you feel like crying go ahead. Regarding what you decide to do... I choose the natural way to MC as I just didn't want to have the surgery and put myself at risk. Things that can go wrong are very very tiny and its no more than the risk we take getting into a car every day. I am still bleeding - second week with very mild period pains and tiny clots now... sorry for TMI... if you take the operation then I have been told that you heal quicker allowing you to TTC quicker - thats what my gyno said, but I am in no rush to TTC... I will wait my normal two cycles before trying again. Hopefully it will be third time lucky!!

I am having a very low day today, and have been crying like forever... so sorry for a miserable thread.. This second MC has got me more than I ever thought it could but there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Cindy
x

Neeko · 07/04/2009 13:26

C1ndy know nothing that anyone says can make you feel better but hope you start to feel better soon.

iggypiggy · 07/04/2009 13:29

Thanks C1ndy is so much appreciated - am starting to have first major wobble of day as it all gets closer to appointment time (5.30pm). So sorry to hear how you feeling, but I can completely understand I hope you will have thrid time lucky too x

Thanks to all of you for sharing you stories etc. It has all helped loads. Its shite tho isn't it

Neeko · 07/04/2009 13:38

Completely. But we're strong and being on here helps. Hope you do ok tonight.

kay1980 · 07/04/2009 13:58

Just wanted to post onto here I didn't want to start a new thread. Found out today that my friend is pg and she is about a week behind what I would have been - I had my 3rd miscarriage on 8th March when I was about 5/6 weeks I am happy for her but I was really trying to hold the tears back before (was in work so not really the place to burst into tears) I feel ok now but I know its going to be so hard trying to put on a brave face in front of her I just feel so jealous of people who can just go through pregnancy so easily IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!!

Neeko · 07/04/2009 14:04

Hi Kay Really sorry for your losses. You're right it's not fair. I'm in a similar situation to you as my best friend is due at the same time as I would have been. It took me nearly 3 weeks to see her and I know I'll probably never see her again without thinking about what should have been, but she's too good a friend to lose. It's hard to be strong all the time, but at least you don't need to be strong on here and you can say all the things you wouldn't dare to in RL.

iggypiggy · 07/04/2009 19:27

Hi all - had scan - was bad news, as expected. so have actually not been given the ERPC option - just either wait for it to happen naturally or take pills. Dr gave me the pills to take home for me to decide.

xx

BlueMoon1981 · 07/04/2009 19:48

iggypiggy sending you big hugs - nothing will make you feel any better while you're going through this horrible time, but please know we are all thinking of you and we are here if you need us. Take care of yourself xx

Welcome kay sorry to hear of your lost angels, its really hard having to deal with pregnant people and seeing babies when you've been through such a traumatic time. I'm jealous of everyone too! Our time will come

hi to my lovely girls, hope you are all ok today

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 07/04/2009 20:20

Hi all - kay and iggypiggy - horible days for you both. kay you must be a very strong woman to have gone through 3 MC's and you are so right, it's just not fair.

For those of us who were blessed with easy conception and pregnancies, I really didn't think it could be another way untill my mc. My heart goes out to you all who are determined, despite set backs to be mums - as bluemoon says, your time will come

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cupcakefairy · 07/04/2009 20:55

iggypiggy I am glad you've joined this thread; I was looking for a way to private message you when I saw your news on the Nov thread (I still peek in there sometimes, yes it's stupid I know!) you, me, Lovelypear and cindy were all on there so in a way it is nice we have each other to support! Big hugs to you all.

I had the medical management last week. My EPU also said they didn't recommend the surgery as it just wasn't necessary. I didn't have any spotting at all so maybe it will happen naturally for you I don't know.

A midwife friend of my Mum's said the surgery might mean I have an incompetent cervix for future pregnancies so it was a definite no for me.

To be honest, the medical management was very painful for me but I have horrendous af pains as it is, I don't know if that made a difference. But being in hospital when it happened wagood as they gave me pethidine which I couldn't have taken myself at home and that really really eased the pain.

Seriously though, the absolute most important thing is that you are comfortable with the decision. When they first sent me away from the EPU to make a decision, I cried my heart out for days and was in such shock (even though I'd been expecting it like you) it's the waiting that's the worst part so just be good to yourself.

Sorry I'm rambling on but I just want you to know there are others who have been through exactly what you are...this is your first pregnancy too isn't it?

Anyway, hope everyone is ok today. I've been feeling really sad this evening. We went to the cinema and halfway through the film I was struck by the thought 'what if we never have a baby??' then I couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the film... urgh. It's horrible. Plus my boobs really really hurt and have even been leaking a tiny bit which really freaked me out, I wasn't expecting that

Sorry...I'll let someone else talk now!

BonyM · 07/04/2009 21:05

Hi all, just a quickie as am just back from hospital but wanted to let you know iggypigy that the medical management (for me) was fine. So sorry to hear that it was bad news for you , but if you decide on this option, I found that it was just like a heavy period - pain was quite bad at one point but painkillers worked well and quickly. I didn't pass any large clots and the end the sac had come away, but not passed so doctor had to remove it with the help of a speculum - not as bad as it sounds.

Anyway, it wasn't traumatic, and if this ever happened again I would opt for this route.

kay - so sorry for the day you've had.

Hope everyone else is bearing up ok today.

cupcakefairy · 07/04/2009 21:15

BonyM - so glad it's over for you now too and well done for getting through it! Now go eat lots of chocolate ...I am off to finish of the Ben & Jerry's my DH bought me on our way home from the hospital, yay!

I agree with you that it wasn't a traumatic experience. Sad, yes..but not traumatic. Like I said before, even when we saw the sac it wasn't horrible and distressing, we just sort of accepted that it wasn't meant to be.

BlueMoon1981 · 07/04/2009 21:17

cupcake i know what you mean, i'm always thinking what if we never have a baby, it pops into my mind at the most random of times, and i'm sure its completely irrational as there's no reason why next time things shouldn't be ok. But just wanted to let you know i think its very normal to think that - whatever normal is

for those mini egg eaters out there, i have moved on to Lindt mini eggs, they are 2 bags for £3 in Asda and as they are a bit more sickly you don't need to eat as many! Plus they have wrappers on so you can't shove a whole handful in at once like mini eggs! Thought it was worth sharing!

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 07/04/2009 21:20

Cupcakefairy - it will happen, don't you worry. With a lovely name like yours , you have to be blessed with children! And you can never talk too much here, talk as much as you like
BonyM - good to see you back. Hope you're feeling OK

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cupcakefairy · 07/04/2009 21:23

Aww thanks so much, that's so sweet I would make lots of cupcakes for my little ones!

Ok I am supposed to be phoning my bf but MN is too addictive!!

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 07/04/2009 21:27

Now, what sort of cupcakes would you make? We make lots for nursery and school events - when I do them they are kind od stylish and cool - my kids on the other hand don't do minimal and think that a cupcake isn't a cupckae unless the top is uber crunchy!

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cupcakefairy · 07/04/2009 21:59

Oooh I agree with you, minimal is definitely the way! Why do kids always want loads of sickly icing? Haha

On Saturday we are having a baking frenzy for our week away at Easter so I will definitely be making some cupcakes, perhaps apple...yum.