Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

[littlebellsmum]

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

Hi everyone!

Well done cformilo for booking appt. You must take care of yourself and going to the doctors is a big step. I had PND and it is hard to admit to anyone how low you feel but please be honest with your Dr. Don't worry about crying, they're used to it! and they can offer you some options to help you. Keep us updated how it goes

Hi to Lou too, sorry for your loss

I'm having a 'numb' day today, not really feeling anything at all, can't eat, can't get dressed, can't think about doing juust the basics, I'm in awe of the women on who here who say they've just carried on.

I meet up with my friends every Thursday for coffee and i just don't know what to do tomorrow. They all know what has happened and I know they'll all be lovely but just don't know if I can face seeing them.

I've only seen DP and my mum since it happened and I'm wondering how you all felt/handled seeing friends for the 1st time?

Hi Lou, glad you have joined us and yes it is good to know other people have been through the same thing!

I wouldn't focus too much on your age. Plenty of women have healthy babies in their 40s. And I wouldn't just blame the m/c on your age either. I am 24, this was my first pregnancy, I don't smoke or drink, and I have never once used an artificial contraceptive in my life...and my baby still died which just shows it really can happen to anyone. Stay positive, you can beat the odds

Thanks everyone for your kind words too. Have had my BF with me all day today and now a half hour gap between her leaving and DH coming home I am despairing again... hate being alone.
Dreading tomorrow, still had no bleeding.
My BF also told me today a couple we know are expecting their second. They had apparently wanted to tell me by pulling me aside first thing when I come back to work (I work with one half of the couple)...yeah! Cos that'll really help me on my first day back! I know I'm gonna have to deal with people being pregnant but it just feels so unfair right now

Oh and Buck - we have only seen our best friends since finding out and that's been fine as we vare so close, they know how to act etc..

We went to church on Sunday but I couldn't face talking to anyone after so we dashed off. I guess it depends how close you are with these girls. It might really help distract you. Today with my BF there were long moments of time I didn't think about the m/c as we just had a bit of a laugh together. Good luck making the decision, it'll probably be hard either way!

Oh god, sorry Lou, I've realised my last post sounds really negative . Cupcake is right - you shouldn't focus on your age. All my close friends have experienced miscarriage at some point, and they were all (bar one) under 35 when it happened (one was under 25), so it can happen to anyone, for any reason.

Sorry to foist my negative thoughts on to you.

For what it's worth I don't think age really is that important. It seems from reading a ton of stuff on MN that some pgs are just not meant to be regardless of how wanted they were. We can make ourselves crazy overanalysing it all, yet it doesn't change the fact that is breaking our hearts. The only thing we have at the moment is hope so don't give that up.

Sorry meant to also say welcome to MumofAdela glad you found the strength to post and sorry for your loss.

welcome to mumofadela you are in the right place, we understand some of the pain and suffering you are going through.

hi to all the girls, hope today has been ok for you - i had to go back to work after 3 days holiday, so had loads to catch up on but kept me busy.

buck don't be fooled by us girls who went back to back to work early and just carried on, its all a front (or at least it is for me) and its just our way of coping, everyone heals differently. you must meet your friends though, you won't feel like it but you will be glad you did. my sister took me out a few days after my mc, i didn't want to go but she was great about it all and it got me up and dressed and looking semi decent!

cupcake agree with you on the age thing, i'm (just) 28, and like you it was my 1st pregnancy, i don't smoke, i look after myself, its just one of those (unfortunate) things. any ladies over a certain age i wouldn't let it worry you too much, loads of women have babies later on in life these days - don't give up hope.

hope everyone else is ok keep

(or at least keep eating the mini eggs)

Mumofadela was just reading back through the posts. Have you had a period since your MC or are you like me and trying again immediately? I've done lots of symptom spotting this week but honestly can't distinguish between AF symptoms and pg ones. I guess time will tell and I'm just trying to stay away from the pg tests as it's far too early.
Does anyone know anyone who fell pg after MC without having their af?
(Can't believe how much my knowledge of abbreviations is coming on!)

Evening everyone and welcome, Lou

According to mn, some people do get pregnant again without an AF, Neeko.

B**llocks to age - you got pregnant once, are supposed to be more fertile post mc, so I don't see why not. Like others, we didn't plan to be pregnant, took some measures to stop being pregnant and clearly, we had a determined little swimmer. Now of course, I trying to summon up as many determined little swimmers as possible and taking no measures at all , which is lots of fun!

Typical isn't it - I only ttc dc1 and it took about 6 months from stopping the pill to being pregnant. Dc2 was unplanned but also unprevented iyswim and the lost lo was tried to be prevented. Now that we are trying again, I can garuntee it'll take ages if it happens at all.

Life -eh, what a bummer.

Now - more wisdom according to lbm!
Cformilo - hope the appt went well. I think you have done abasolutly the right thing. My doctor was the only person I told and she was sooooo lovely, as she'd had three mc's herself.

Buck - I'm sure coffee will be lovely. They are your friends and may have had similar probs themselves?

Cupcake - stay on line then you are never alone!

Got to go, DH is getting grouchy as I spend all evening on here instead of feeding him!

I got pg on first try with both my DD and the one I lost so honestly never gave TTC a 2nd thought. Now it's all I think about. Feels like I'm going mad sometimes
Would just like to know one way or another. Patience is not my thing thses days.

Neeko a friend of mine had 3 miscarriages, after the first 2 she did what her GP advised at the time and waited 3 months before ttc. After the 3rd she had sex 2 weeks later and got pregnant straight away, she worried herself silly as she thought bits of left over tissue from the miscarriage might damage the pregnancy. But all was well and she delivered a healthy baby who is now 3 years old.

Advice from Leslie Regan (consultant who specialises in recurrent miscarriages) is to TTC whenever you feel ready as long as you are not physically unwell from the miscarriage.

Thanks GG that makes me feel much better. We started BDing again at the weekend which was two wks after D&C. I figured that if op counted as 1st day of period that's when I would be ovulating under a nomal cycle and it couldn't hurt to try again. Forgot about how paranoid the waiting would make me though...

Hello lovely ladies

Neeko thanks for thinking of me, I?m still here. My af arrived this morning with a vengeance & I?ve been feeling a bit rough since yesterday. Mentally I?m not feeling too bad , this af feels like a proper start ready to bd again. I?ve heard of loads of women that have fallen pg without having af? I?ve spent far too much time on the internet Googling that type of thing! I thought it might happen to me (boohoo!) but like I said, I feel like I can have a fresh start again now. Try doing bbt charts, it really helps me to know what my body is doing.

Bionic I?m with you on the focusing on the positive.

GG how are you? Has your af turned up yet? Did you do a test?

Kate don?t feel bad about moving on. It shows how strong we all really are, at the beginning we think that we?ll never get over it & although things are never the same they do slowly get better. Neeko is right about your wedding, your feet will barely touch the floor & you will feel like the most important woman in the world so you won?t even register your pregnant cousin.

As for crying, it is very up & down & I have no idea when the crying finally stops or if it ever will. You think you are on the up & then something ? maybe an image or an innocent comment someone says & it stabs you right in your heart.

Buckbuck it must be just awful to have lost everything except for the baby. I hope things are bearable for you in your cubicle. Take lots of chocolate & trashy magazines with you. Have you decided to meet your friends tomorrow? I?d say only see them when it feels right, I have a group of friends that I have avoided as I just couldn?t handle the whole sympathy thing. Sometimes you just want to say ?Please don?t be nice to me & don?t talk to me about it or else I?ll cry?.

Cupcake, can?t believe you had to go through all that crap at the hospital. Your baby is the one thing you wanted more than anything in the world & for someone to say it was unwanted must have been so upsetting.

Bluemoon I think we all have over-active brains that think too much!

Cformilo sorry you have had to join us. It is often easier to talk to the mn girls rather than people in rl. We?ve all been through the same thing & would never think anyone else needy & never get fed up of so-called moaning. How did your docs appointment go?

Giggle like the new name, are you no longer witchy??! What surgery are you having? Surely your mc must be complete after 8 weeks?

Hi MumofAdela, I?m with you on the wanting to get pregnant asap. I?m coming up for 40 so am having a bit of a panic as well. If you check the onwards & upwards thread you will see that we all have a stack of hpt?s & we all do them early ? I did 4 before my af was even due this month!

Right, got to go & do my Sainsbury?s online order now ? exciting stuff eh for a Wednesday night!

Big hugs all round.

Hey MLS! Welcome back and what a post! Sorry bout your AF but look on the bright side I think it sounds quite cool to say you were born in 2010 don't you?

Yes I do but have decided this time to not think about dates etc. I did too much planing last time & I still have literally half of my wardrobe crammed with maternity clothes, some from pregnancy with dd & some I bought this year. Not only have I been able to block dates from my head but I seem to have successfully blocked that half of the wardrobe from my vision every time I open the door!

On the same wavelength with the maternity clothes. Have put them in "the baby's room" and I don't go in there at the moment. Any hints on how to block dates from your head?
p.s. thought you were at Sainsbury's??!!

I'm doing my order online to get delivered on Saturday but it is soooooooo dull. Much more interesting is flicking back to mn every few minutes!!

I don't quite know how I'm managing to block out dates but I know that as soon as I allow one to pop into my head I might as well go to the kitchen to get a fork & poke myself in the eye with it as it will be just as painful!

MLS just done a test, its negative.

Onwards & upwards GG it's still early days for both of us.... although if someone said that to me I'd probably want to smack them in the mouth!

me too if you weren't you!

Is your dh going to be around when you next ov in a couple of weeks - if you are not already pregnant of course? Do you both work in different hospitals?

sorry I confused people with the 'easter' name - I'm still a witch underneath

GG, lbm, bionic, annie and mls we're still here but we're moving onwards - we sometimes just can't see it.
This place is really busy just now

Bony, what a shit thing to happen. hang in there, and don't take rubbish treatment. buckbuck well done you writing that letter and gettng the ball rolling - it really is so hard to know where to start talking and men just don't do it the way we do...

well as the question was asked, I'll answer [polite eh] yes the surgery is still to do with the mc, apparently my uterus lining is 23mm when it should be 7mm, the infection can't have helped and generally everything is inflamed. They are planning d&c, wanted to do hormone treatment but can't as I've had PND badly & long term twice; someone said "hysterectomy" at me the other day and right now I'd go for it I soooooo want this over. I feel like I've just lost five months of my life.

MLS not sure whether DH will be around or not, his shifts are a bit irratic! DH is on a 5 year job rotation where he changes hospital every 6-12 months covering an area of about 100 miles across. He's currently 70 miles away and his hours are pretty long so he lives in and comes home only on days off. I think this time if I get a positive OPK I'm hitting the motorway and demanding some BD'ing!!

Giggle big hug, you really are getting a s**t deal aren't you. Let hope we are all moving onwards and upwards.

Hello again - Dh fed, choclate stash empty and whilst I need to do some work, this is more fun!
I can't believe you're still going through this Giggle - you make me feel very lucky that mine was so " complete"
MLS - goos to see you back, but I know where you've been ( the upwards thread as I've been lurking myself!!) Sorry about the AF - hope you feel better soon.
GG - isn't it still early for you to test?
No tips, Neeko on blocking dates, Sept 1st is still looking large in mine. Other than that, I'm still getting rid of my babystuff as fast as I can - had it for the other two and am selling it at NCT sales. If I get lucky, I'll happily buy it all back in a flash...

I think I'm solving not testing by refusing to buy them - working well so far, can't test with nothing in the house, esp as it's far too early for me and I'm just too tight to pay full price when I noe know how cheap they can be!

Gracie - we crossed! I'm with you - the motorway plan is good. But to be honest, if you turn up unannounced and surprise your still new husband, I can't see you having to do too much demanding!!