Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

sorry have just read last part of my last post, i meant i got pg before AF arrived when i had my first mc not this one, im not pg now,not yet anyway...

Barbie hope you get the answers you need at your dr,s appt, or he/she can point you to someone who can help. 6 months seems a long time with no AF.Bet you bare going crazy wondering when it is going to show.

Scorpio-Fingers crossed that you get your wish soon, im sure you will. I too hope i have a baby before the end of the year, i really want to be pregnant by my EDD which would have been 2nd August.

You will have days when you feel more emotional, i do. It has really helped me coming on threads like this when DH isnt around.

I suppose i will have ups and downs still - i only started mc 10 days ago.

Scorpio I know EXACTLY where you are coming from with your last two posts.

My two good friends that are pregnant also have dd's the same age as my dd. The three of us were meant to have a second baby at around the same time which obviously isn't going to happen for me now. It rips my heart out thinking that they each still have a little baby to look forward to to complete their families & I feel like I'm left out in the cold, just waiting & wanting & hoping.

I am completely obsessed with getting a BFP again! Yesterday I bought some Robitussin (makes the uterus a more sperm-friendly place) & I'm just waiting for this flipping bleeding to stop so I can try again.

One thing that is stressing me out (that I've not yet mentioned on mn) is that my husband is not exactly.... hmmmmmm how do I put it, gifted with the ability to produce the goods when required! He has a stressful job in the city & finds it difficult to switch off. If he is feeling tired or stressed (which is most of the time) he simply cannot perform. I think the most we've ever successfully done the bd within my fertile period is 3 times which obviously doesn't give us as much of a chance as if we were doing it every day or even every other day. The whole ttc thing put a massive strain on our relationship as I'd be like "ok we have to do it tonight" & he'd say "I'm really tired can't we do it tomorrow". I'd have to smile sweetly & agree when inside I'd be thinking "Aaaarrrgggggg no no NO it has to be tonight you absolute sh*tbag" while fighting off the urge to stick a fork in his eye!

I can't believe I have to start all of that malarkey all over again.

Mummy Loves Sadie-Interesting about the Robitussin-how often do you have to take it and how long for?? Might give that a go.
My DH will often say,'im too tired tonight,lets just cuddle and we will tomorrow night'-Er no, doesnt work like that darling! I want to BD and i want to do it now!!

My DH doesn't mid

Would it help if you relaxed together, had a bath together, back rub, went out sometimes, etc?

Its horrid, this ttc business.

You have a spoon in the morning & evening (I think) leading up to & during ov. It thins out your cm & makes it better for those little swimmers to swim through.

If only our dh's had an on/off switch!

Here is something I just found on the net which might help:

Women frequently ask about the use of cough mixture to improve the quality of cervical secretions. There is certainly much anecdotal evidence, but limited research on this subject. There was one American study by Jerome Check entitled ?Improvement of cervical factor with guaifenesin? published in Fertility and Sterility in 1982. Forty women with hostile mucus were given 200mg guaifenesin orally three times per day from day 5 until the first high temperature. This coincides with the time approaching ovulation when cervical secretions should be ?sperm-friendly.? The cervical secretions showed a marked improvement (wetter, more transparent and stretchy) in 23 out of the 40 women studied. Of the 23 women who showed improved mucus quality, 15 women conceived. All the women on the study were shown to be ovulating but with reduced quality mucus. The men had a good quality semen analysis. All couples had negative post-coital tests 2 days before the temperature rise (i.e. .no sperm moving in cervical secretions). This test is rarely performed now.

If you are considering using this over the counter preparation, it is very important to get Robitussin for chesty coughs in its plainest form where the only active ingredient is Guaiphenesin. Some cough mixtures also contain a decongestant, e.g. Robitussin ?for chesty coughs with congestion? contains Pseudoephedrine an antihistamine (drying effect). Other cough mixtures to suppress dry or painful coughs may contain Dextromethorphan, which has been linked to birth defects.
So check carefully with the pharmacist that the only active ingredient is Guaiphenesin.

I think if we had a bath together or I suggested a back rub he would wonder what the hell had got into me! He's not the most touchy feely person unfortunately!

Also he's not into sexy undies so I can't try that old trick either!

was giving you my tried and tested options.... i have nothing now!

Need to perk up....

I'm feeling really flat, going through the motions really. At the weekend we were out with friends who had a 5 year old and it was so nice to see ds and 5 year old running around, it really pulled at my heart strings and made it all so real what we keep losing. I think really that I have run out of time now. dh does'nt want to say it to me I know that - he would do anything to make us all whole again but the thought of trying for a 5th time is so blinking scary I don't think i can

[cry]

oh mermaids. have you had 5 mcs? Thats awful. I hope your dh can give you a hug.

Mermaid - big hugs

You've been so incredibly strong - the emotion has to come out sometime, so indulge yourself in some selfish me time and wallow for a bit - sounds like you need some pampering x x

Had my first glass of wine this year last night. I just haven't felt like alcohol. It was ok, I have good friends to look after me.

My bleeding finally seems to be stopping, 9 days post ERPC.

Just been to see Confessions of a Shopaholic at the cinema, was ok, very girly, no sad bits.

Feeling a bit flat today - can you tell from my very disjointed ramblings?

Help! My Mum's on her way over to get me to pull myself together! I'm sure she means well, and yes I probably do need to start thinking about pulling myself together and getting back to normal but not today. My house is possibly the most untidy its ever been.

Ahh mermaid Dont give up! We will both ttc no 5 together and we WILL get there.. I had a sad day the other day and its natural. My mum had me at 43, you've got plenty of time sweetie..

Graciegirl Gigglewitch Mummylovessadie SCorpio 2manychips So glad you understand the importance of marking anniversarys and EDDs.. Weds went by not too painfully, and turned it into a lovely evening, but yesterday I bravely went through all my hosp & scan ltrs marking weekly growth progress for angels 3 & 4 and threw them all away. I kept the scan photos ( at 2manychips DH) and the 2 sympathy cards we got and put them in a little gift bag so that will be like my memory box. It was really therapeutic. On prev anniversarys and EDDs I've let off helium balloons, and we also planted 3 plants in the garden for 3 of our angels but they are dying now after our cold winter and think will plant 4 new ones when spring has firmly arrived.

Also totally agree with you all about the 12 week thing. the last 2 PGs we just told everyone (only a couple at work tho as big open plan office), But as you said friends and family all knew when we MCd and was harder saying, 'oh was PG but lost it', they start saying 'congrats' before you get the second bit out, had one too many of those awkward conversations..

Anyway rambling a bit but thank you for al being here.. Hope you are not too far down on the emotional rollercoaster today..

Most of us are still fresh and raw from our ERPCs and our bodies, hormones and emotions will take some time still to recover so be easy on yourselves and go with the tides..

Love and thanks to you all xxx

jools thanks sweetie for your words, small smile.. it just feels like walking through treacle at the moment and everything is a bit of an effort, spose I have come down with a bit of a crash
gracie mermaid tip No1 hide washing up in oven, just pretend its a dishwasher.
No2. get several placcy bags dump everything in there. No3 proper coffee hides smell of washing up etc.
morning 4ever its good to hear you so positive how did your nk tests go??
I hav'nt got anything to put in a box, no scans, nothing mermaid generally wallowing ths morning sorry going to find some cake and maybe have a stomp on the beach.

GG you should see my house! I'm spending tomor with my Mum and hoping she'll run the hoover round for me.
My rollercoaster is taking me off in strange directions-am totally convinced I did something to cause my mmc,no-one can tell me otherwise, and am suprisingly keen to resume intimacy with dh. Surgeon advised not to ttc for 2mo,something to do with the pelvis returning to normal but didnt say how long after erpc til you can have intercourse. Sorry to ask but does anyone know?

hug for youu mermaid, and mini-eggs xx

scorpio thanks for the mini eggs have put them on top of the cake.
2manychips yes, I know what you mean but I think of all the women through the centuries and reckon that the small coffees I drank etc etc probably in the grand scheme of things made no difference to my mcs. Its the 3 o clock in the morning thoughts is'nt it.

2many - i should think its when all the bleeding has stopped. I wa very keen to have sex with DH again; sort of getting back to normal, 'seeing' each other, intimacy, lots of reasons.

I'm sure coffee did not cause it. I wonder about my hair dye, i dyed it just as i was oving.

Glad its not just me on that Scorpio.
Oh I'm obsessing over the fact that I had highlights done and self-tanned, sooo vainly before a wedding.

I'm very sure our little things we did did not cause our m/mcs - i mean look at all the others that drink coffee, dye their hair and tan all whilst pg and its all fine.

Ahh mermaid let it out hon, go down and stomp on the beach, have a cry and a big shout and throw rocks in and make big splashes, then come back to our cave for a big HUG and a duvet and chocs and tissues, then slob out & watch crap tv. F* the housework. Have a YOU day.. We all love you and understand how crap this all is.

Nk tests were only bloods, my arm is like a pin cushion now. Have a severe needle phobia so nearly broke DH hand every time I've had a test!

2manychips was told to wait 2 weeks after erpc for babydancing with DH! Its 3 weeks today so maybe thats why i'm positive at the moment! Spent the last week making up for lost time, and hopefully makin no 5 too! . They tell you to wait 2 weeks to make sure cervix has closed properly to prevent infection. How long ago did you stop bleeding? Generally should wait at least 5 days after that, if around the 2 week margin. (says the erpc expert - have had 4 now!)

Well its been 9 days since my mc & I'm desperate to start ttc again (as I keep moaning on about on mn!). I'm bl**dy well still bleeding though. I don't want to miss an egg..... I wonder if you can ov when you are still bleeding from mc, does anyone know?

I'm waging a war against my non-pregnant self & today have trawled Ebay & have armed myself with Pre-seed (like ky but sperm friendly & specifically for ttc), 20 ov tests & a btt thermometer. Not to mention the robitussin I bought the other day.

This is more like a military operation than something that is supposed to feel natural & beautiful

blimey its cold out there so I did some extra stomping, thanks 4ever, problem is I have probably been having a few too many slob days
mummylovessadie 9 days is very, very early days, you are not going to miss an egg just yet, let your poor body recover. In my optimistic moments I am thinking about getting my body back into great physical condition well as much as its ever likely to be anyway.
4ever you are so blooming gutsy this week and I feel very pathetic, its probably cos I have begun bd that I feel so panicky and scared ? cant possibly go over to the new thread feeling like this