Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

I'm taking low dose asprin and do have large ankles (or cankles) but think that's hereditary (bloody McKenzie genes)

Gracie - how are you feeling today? re: ttc, the general rule I think is wait until AF returns and you have a -VE on a pg test. The rest is up to when YOU feel emotionally ready.

4ever - glad you first day back at work ended on a lovely note with the card from your colleagues.

Have a lovely weekend everyone, anybody up to anything for Valentine's Day? DH and me are doing our usual lying on the couch, red wine in hand, sky+ ing our way through ER, CSI, Grey's Anatomy etc. etc.

Hello!!
I just want to wish everybody a happy valentine's day!!

Love

Lo

Hi all

Well, I finally got my results - my killer cells test came back borderline so my consultant wants me to see Mr Shehata. He has an NHS practice at my hospital (Epsom) but it would be 2 months before I can see him, so I have begged, borrowed and scraped together the money to see him at his Harley St clinic on Wednesday. Hopefully he will give me a solution.

Interesting re the asprin - I've been taking a junior asprin a day on my consultant's advice as well since the 2nd m/c...

We're going to have a nice dinner on Sat, though as it was my birthday a fortnight ago we don't really celebrate - poor dh is skint after Christmas/my birthday

Gracie re ttc the hospital advised me to wait 3 months, but my gp said the only reason they said to wait 1 cycle was so they could date any pregnancy. Having said all that, both times I have felt ready after 1 cycle

[waves to everyone]

Hi all - just a quickie! Interesting article on hughes mermaid but sadly that one was negative for me even tho will still take the aspirin again next time... Also v interesting heebee... I will also be getting NK test done on weds privately after seeing consultant yesterday.. Quite successful, he was very thorough and explanatory. Went with list and he answered every point... Gave the form for Natural Killer cells test at Parkside, said thats the only other test he does there that NHS dont do, gonna go next weds. Said Lesley Regan at St Marys only does one other test they dont do which treatment for is aspirin anyway so irrespective if I have or havent got it I'm already taking the aspirin.. (said to take from conception, not before). Said I could try oth private testing and there are many, but none actually proven so could end up spending alot of money for nothing thats conclusive.. (mentioned foresight style of hair strand tests but again said you fill yourself full of minerals and vitamins but nothing proven and very expensive). Does believe we can get there and so do we, he said positive thinking is half the battle.. What he did say is that they are doing research trials in the next month and we said we'd gladly be volunteer guinea pigs! So we will start trying again as soon as I get my period and if we dont go to him first with news he'll be in contact for research trials! We're happy with it... Gonna focus on valentines (nice meal out tomorrow), Davids BD on weds, My BD 2weeks later, and holiday now! Also went to see Russell Brand show last night - was really surprisingly funny! Well needed night out and laughs!

So Happy Valentines to you lovely ladies! Hope you have a great weekend and get spoilt and treated as you deserve to be! (and time to spoil our DHs after they have supported us through all our traumas - let them feel special & important cos i'm sure their poor emotions get forgotten about a little bit amongst our own emotions!) Enjoy!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello ladies,just popping in quickly,hope all as well as can be.

Very interesting re Hughes syndrome mermaid
I used to suffer terribly from headaches as a teenager and occasionally migraines. I was intending to ask my GP if i should take low dose aspirin when i get my next BFP, ive got a feeling she may say not too though as she is very much 'by the book' and will probably ssay no reason to take it if i havent been diagnosed as having Hughes syndrome, but by going on what i have Googled, its not a high enough dose to cause any problems if there wasnt a problem with my blood, has anybody heard any different?.

Glad to hear your consultant appt went well 4ever-sounds promising re those new research trials.
Its so true what you said re our darling supportive DH/DP,s whose emotions often get fforgotten about, i dont know what i would have done without my wonderful DH, going to make sure we have a special Valentines Day (and night)

Heebee-Hope you get the answers you want and need at your appt on Wednesday. I dont really know too much about NK cells im afraid. What does the treatment involve-can they be eradicated?.

Love to everyone, have a fab Valentines weekend XXX

Hi all 4ever - interesting that we are going through similar things! Funnily enough, I got the NK cells test on the NHS, just can't wait that long for the treatment for it! The research trials sound very interesting and being part of it sounds like a great plan!

annie - my consultant's exact words re the low dose asprin were "we don't exactly know if it does any good, but it won't do you any harm" so hopefully your gp won't object. Interesting that 4ever , you were told to take from conception - I'm obviously taking it now.

4ever what you say about our DH's is soo true. I found a Valentines card that actually says something along the lines of "thank you for being there for me" so I was quite chuffed...

Thanks for the TTC advice everyone. I'm feeling a bit less rubbish but still cramping and bleeding.
Eating lots and lots of Cadburys Mini Eggs!

Gracie We can't get away from thinking about eggs in one form or another can we ? I'm about to delve into a Snickers, bring it on!

Heebee - my consultant said the same re: asprin but to take it one month before ttc . I think the bottom line is it can't harm you and it may make all the difference [fingers crossed emoticon]

lol - yes chocolate is good, eggs are better
GG I feel for you. Am also feeling dizzy, crampy and generally quite rubbish. Those sodding hormones, it's hideous.

4ever, good to hear things are going somewhere, and thanks for your support the other day

mermaid & co, interesting reading.

Hi everyone just wanted to wish you a happy valentine's day. Just popping in very quickly, and wanted to ask a question. I had my erpc on 11th December then period exactly four weeks later. It was a bit heavier than normal, but otherwise fine. I was due on on Monday, but not come on yet, and before I was regular as clockwork. I've taken a pg test, and it was neg. Has anyone else had weird period cycles after erpc?

Hello girlies, a warning here do not watch the new jennifer aniston movie marley and me......sat down last night to watch it and i cried from middle to end! Jen suffers a mmc in the middle of the film and they show a hospital scene where she gets the scan (you can see the monitor) and it look just like my scan dh must of realised what it meant because he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. It was so sad, took me right back to a place where i thought i had left a long time ago and the bloody dog died to in the end, a lab like mine honestly its meant to be a childrens film but i sat snotty nosed, red eyed and tear stained all the way through. So take my advise and steer clear! Happy valentines by the way xxx

Hi, can I come and talk with you ladies?
I had my 12week scan yesterday only to be told there was no heartbeat. I had seen it twice in previous scans. I'm having ERPC on tues, they offered me this or to let it come naturally. They think things stopped around 8wks. Do you think I was wise to choose ERPC? Its all so horrible.

2manychips sorry you are here but yes of course you can join us..
I had the medical management after waiting for it to happen naturally. It was the worse thing ever. Believe me i was so scared about having an op, worried about not waking up, needles etc etc...i was so bad i even had two courses of the other treatment and was so ill i stayed in hospital for about 4 days in the end it was a relieve to have erpc. Its so quick and you honestly dont remember anything. Your body gets back to normal quicker too...sadly nt your emotions but then we are here to help you with that x

Barbie1 thankyou. I'm scared of the G.A really. Watched "Awake" recently! I had an ERPC previously (for other reasons) and bled heavily but I know that was due to the nature of the problem. Its just in the back of my mind.
I just cant belief the grief I feel at the moment, I thought I was strong.
Did you feel like you didnt want to try for another ever again? Sorry to intrude.

2many the G.A freaked me to but in the end it was rather fun like drinking 10 vodkas on a sat night, woosy, sleepy and then strangely happy, al be it for a few moments until realality kicks you up the ass...as for trying again, the choice was taken out of my hand, dh had to go away for a few months, so i googled, mn and talked to the girls here until the early hours. The dh and i was almost back to normal and then i was desperate to try again. Give it time...

2manychips - I'm really sorry to hear you need to join us. Trust me I've only been on this thread for a week and a half and everyones been brilliant. I had a scan at 10 weeks last week to find no heartbeat, was sent home for a week for things to start naturally but they didn't. I had an ERPC on tuesday night. I bled heavily just afterwards (just the first few times I stood up) but its slowed down to a normal period flow now. I'd never had a general anaesthetic before and was scared stiff but the theatre staff were very calming. If this ever happens again (please no!) I'd choose an ERPC again.

As far as your question about trying again, its a bit soon for me to be considering that, though it hasn't stopped me asking these guys about the rules. I'm far from emotionally strong enough at the moment to cope with being pregnant again.

Keep asking everyone your questions, getting answers does help.

Barbie's description of a general anaesthetic is pretty spot on.

morning lovely ladies
blue ha I have what we have always called shropshire ankles! I was dead skinny with tree trunk ankles,great look! All the women on my mums side are the same. On the asprin front when I last booked in with the dr, panicing cos my results had'nt come back he said that as I had 'produced a live child' then I could'nt have sticky blood.??
gracie hope you are feeling a little better. just carry on taking it easy. As to ttc I think it is very wise to let our bodies recover, let alone our poor heads. I have to confess to not following my own advice (shh dont tell my dh) cos I am nearly out of time now. From being stuck in an endless loop of mcs I would say if you hav'nt done the grieving, resting and truly heal as much as anyone can ever truly heal it will all come back and whack you over the head.
lobeov hi to you too sweetie, hope you are ok over there.
heebee yeah finally got your results, brilliant, move on one square! I hope that wednesday goes ok. It is shocking that we have to pay in this way, bless the dear nhs love it loads but ykwim.
annie its horrible, all the dizziness and stuff, rest lots and eat chocolate. The woman who was interviewed said that after she was diagnosed with Hughes she took the leaflets into her surgery and the Drs said that they found something like 5 cases they would have missed otherwise, that to me sounds lke it crops up fairly regularly. I know that we are now the worlds worst hypercondriacs after our mc but who the hell ever wants to go through that again?
lippy i think it does take ages for things to get back to normal
barbie ohh sweetie how dare Jen do that to you. Hope you have a lovely romatic weekend to make up for it. I was hoping that the magic af thread would have worked by now??
2many chips I am so sorry that you find yourself here, sending you a big hug and a weekend of chocolate and lots of rest. My body never waits for erpc but I think I would have gone down that route. Thinking of youx

barbie I went to the cinema with a friend last night and saw the ad for marley and me and even that looked depressing so def one I was gonna steer clear of, esp now you told us about the other bits of it, must have spoilt your night out.

welcome to the thread 2manychips. I've now had 2 erpc's now for mmc and very glad of doing it this way. Don't think I could have sat and waited for it to happen or had medical management. Will be thinking of you on Tues.

lippy my cycles took a while to settle down after my first erpc, hopefully yours won't take too long though

gracie and 2many after the first erpc I came out of anaesthetic talking about trying again straight away, once the bleeding had stopped I totally changed my mind and decided I didn't want any more kids (we have one DD), 4 months later I changed my mind again so we tried again. Thats just ended in another mmc but this time I think we'll just try again when physically up to it. I think you just have to take time and do what feels right.
OK I'm spending the day getting ready for DD's birthday party tomorrow so see you all later.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Welcome 2manychips - so sorry to hear abour your scan . It must be just beyond heartbreaking when you have seen the heartbeat twice.. I've had both natural mc and ERPC and would absolutely recommend ERPC as its over in minutes and your bleeding is minimal (well it was for me but I have heard different reports) whereas my natural mc was frightening, akin to being in labour with contractions, vomiting, passing clots etc. The GA they give you is very lights and your only under for 20 mins. The first thing I said when I came round was "is it over?". Actually that reminds me of the insensitive aneastheatist (SP?) who was moaning on about having had the winter vom bug and how it had dampened her xmas and how she wasn't well and shouldn't have been there on NY day - I piped up from the table "err, I'd rather have the wv bug than a mmc" - you could almost see the tumbleweed blow across the theatre room - stupid old mare. I was put out soon after!

lippy - cycles can come back either pretty quickly or can take up to three months to get back to 'normal'. Were you regular before?

Barbie - poor you! Mental note not to get that film out. Hope you can see a better film next time to erase the memory. Thee's another Jen film out - 'He's just not that into you' maybe worth a visit.

mermaid - lol that you own a paid of heavy ankles too! So not sexy are they. Mine are acutally ok front view but side view - mamma mia, I refer to them as 'deep' . I know what you mean re: asprin when you have had a what Lesley Reagen refers to as a 'take home' baby, but they don't cause any side affects so I'll take them anyway although I do think my mc's have bene down to dodgy eggs.

Happy Valentine's Day - I have my loveheart pants on in its honour . DH can't contain his excitement as he's used to seeing me in my comfy-should-have-thrown-them-out-after-ds-was-born numbers

it's so but dare i say it, somehow comforting that there are so many of us in the same boat... a week on from my mc and i still feel like I've been run over by a bus, have just cried all the way through "beauty and the beast" ffs watching it with DD.
Is this a particularly bad time or is it always like this round here? I had a scan on Tues last week and things seem to be going ok for now.
everyone, am reading the rest of the thread with tears everywhere (well whaddya expect i suppose) i feel for every single poster, and though i've only been posting here around a week too it feels like a real lifeline. this is where mumsnet is absolutely the best thing ever created...

gigglewitch you have seem to caught us at a sadder time than most...so many new joiners, but if you get time read back and you will see there has been many good times and so many laughs along the way.....which brings me to something else.....Barbie takes a deep breathe and hope she doesnt offend anyone.........this thread is great dont get me wrong (it would be i started it !) however its the third one and a few others have been on, some of us and i wont name names feel ready to move on a little, not to leave completely as we still want to be here for the new girls and the ones who arent quite ready to leave. We were thinking of maybe a new thread, a one in which mc is a little more distant and one where we can almost leave it behind if you like not sure im explaining myself to well here?
I guess what im saying is some times its kills me when someone else post about joining this thread as it takes me back to the dark days of september. Dont get me wrong i love talking to each and everyone of you, i really do i just dont think that i belong in the MC section any more ? [happy] its taken months to finally feel that way and i guess its a part of the progress i have made. In sept i never ever thought i would leave it behind, so take heart everyone that has joined recently and realise that like me it does get easier and one day you will be ready to move on.
I will be back as i always am, and for you that know what i was trying to say and feel the same i will post a like to the new thread as soon as i get hold of some of the missing girls mollie mm etc and we will see you all there!
Love to you all x

hi barbie I've been thinking the same for a while too, maybe a thread in chat called 'emmys friends reunited' or something, you are better at choosing the names than me. I still want to lurk in here, but feel guilty doing so, sorry. Emmsys has been such a huge support for me and I thank you all so much xxxxx

vjay thats a great name!!! well done hun....im glad you feel the same, was worried i had offended everyone by saying what had been on my mind for some time now.
Im going to start the thread later and ill post the link thankyou x

Oh barbie I have sat here fretting since posting my last post, thanks for being so kind. Will 'see' you later xx