Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

even

barbie it was worth a try, but definatley don't you give up, it will happen xxxx
mermaid oh the mind does boggle believe me!, although the gin sounds good too x

Woke up to a complete white out up here today, and ds wants to sledging!

there I am trying to tell giggle that we are all lovely and now she is going to worry that you will be thinking about her at 4 in the morning during your nocturnal wanderings! more snow? lucky you, its just very cold but sunny here - enjoy!

vjay i wish i had snow...yes the sun is nice but its constant, i miss the coldness well maybe not, have fun!!!

Ahh mermaid bless you & Jools, DH was waiting for me last night with a big glass of wine that wnet straight to my head and made me feel a bit sick!I sobbed my eyes & heart out all the way home in the car. Think it was a bit of a release as hadnt really sobbed about this mc, just a few quiet cries with DH. I let it ALL out yesterday & couldnt shake sad feeling off til went to sleep. After posting on here yesterday before I left work, I looked in my bag and 2 of my lovely collegaues here at work that knew had put this lovely card to me & DH in bag with such lovely words about understanding the pain, and sunshine behind the rainclouds and new beginnings. Think that was the trigger for the major sobbing.

Heartwarming & funny in a strange way to read how bumps offend Jools!
Gracie being haunted by twins! How Barbie has the desire to point out all pregnant women to DH and poor poor Napa being a midwife!!!!

Giggle as mermaid & barbie say this forum is so amazing for this very reason, Everyone on here can relate as agony aunts to each other & it stops you feeling like a mad sad envious nutcase!

Last but not least thanks Curly for lovely words and it always touches me to know I've touched someone else on here.. 4everhopefuls the name and I have to remember that!

(BTW mermaid I did remember your latvian crash! seems so long ago now!) Yep onwards with planning no 5 but first def a month to seriously indulge in all the PG banned excesses. Iv been supping real coffee, wine, prawns & brie too

Right after second mammoth post in 2 days I'm off to use the evil google to research every poss test for recurrent mc and go armed with facts to my specialist later. Appts at 3.20pm so please all send militant thoughts to me at that point!

Lots of love to all and those I havent mentioned and I agree with curly - come back vm!!! Where are you? xxxxxxxxxxxx

4ever good luck later at your appointment, stay positive. Have you read Lesley Regans book on miscarriage, I found it very helpful xx

Thanks Vjay! Yep scanned it not read properly, considering trying her privately if get no joy today.. Glad things going well for you sweetie. You're giving us all hope!

BTW Barbie wishing for snow - perlease!!! Have also been thinking of you and lack of AF, hoping it just meant you are PG again - r u sure you're def not?!? [hopeful face]

4ever that was a lovely thing of your work mates to do. will be thinking of you heaps this afternoon. Picture you with wheelbarrow of googled documents.
At least a month off cos our bodies need to heal and I like prawns. They will come up with your PLAN this afternoon and you will have a bit of direction, it really helps. Lastly be gentle on yourself its early days and you have been through so much.

Thanks mermaid it was lovely wasnt it?! RL can surprise us when you're not expecting it too! I am very at the image of myself with a wheelbarrow of googled docs! You're not far off! Looking forward to having a PLAN like you! BTW - you have been through just as much Mrs kindred spirit!

Yes lets enjoy the excesses for a month! Didnt book an all inc hol for nothing!! at image of me staggering round posh resort acting like a true brit abroad! He he he! xx

4ever good luck for later sweetie... and nope not preggers, i have done hundreds of tests my body is just lazy! ha ha laughing at you being a brit abroad, its so true they are so easy to spot! just no sandels and socks please

thanks all - am trying, honestly, and i can see you're all lovely. Got pointed here by someone who has been here too... thing is, I got into the recurrent mc thing, got sorted, have three lovely DC, so am trying to count myself lucky just now. Mc'd last thurs night at 11wks+5, knew it wasn't ever going to be successful, levels all wrong, but it hung in there way longer than expected. we knew at 6 weeks that there were big problems, and when I had a bleed at 8 wks i thought that was "it". The last two months have been - well, I dont think i need to try and find a word cos I'm sure most of you know. Today is sooo hard.

gigglewitch i have only be pregnant once and even i knew it was all wrong since day one, only it took the hospital 12 weeks to believe me today is hard but tomorrow might be better, hang on to that thought x

thankx barbie
x
(just wanted to say, the pgs with all 3 dc were hugely complicated, particularly the first two, ds2 was a twin initially which i lost at 6 wks and by some miracle he hung in there...had more mcs than i care to count along the way. have lurked on this thread for many many months, but took a push from someone to come posting)

giggle big hug for you then. I know what you mean about counting your blessings but of course it dosnt take the pain of the mc away. I got into a right guilty pickle over that one. And of course everyone says the cliched 'be thankful for your ds' which I am of course duh!! which is why 4ever your loss flattened all of us. I cant wait until you too have the joys of mouldy football kit or lost pink tutus.

Ahh giggle hang in there today hon as you can see everyone on here is amazing and really does know how you feel.. sending another cyberhug for you xx

Was wishful thinking for you there barbie .. I'm sure things will come good for you soon hon, I know we are all praying for each other on here... BTW - Nooooooooo at the socks and sandals scenario - I wont be that bad! Just a little loud and wobbly no doubt

Oh how I long for that mouldy footy kit or lost pink tutu mermaid I promise I'll never ever moan about it [longing wistful sigh into future daydream]..

Anyway just been very busy googling - gonna join mc assoc as I hear theres a newsletter with lots of info on research and trials - put me forward for all of em! Also got contacts and e-mailed Lesley Regans clinic, then the Liverpool clinic - Siobhan Quenby whos pioneered new research on NK cells, and finally the Wellbeing of Women at Imperial College of Londons Institute of Reproductive and Developmental Biology(!) which is to do with the renowned Robert Winston (fertility expert and guru). Bring it all on! Ladies - take note for all those who are on desperado drive like myself! Mermaid the wheelbarrow is coming out! xxxxxxxxx

4ever, mc assoc is good, they give you the low down on the current research and have leaflets on some of the causes of mc - however if you are well down the dx route they may not have all the info you want specifically, but can point you in the right direction.

jools - come and say hello on our thread if you feel like it. I'm sure the others would be touched.

Yes, my little angel didn't make it past 9 weeks. There were no signs at the time except at 11 weeks I suddenly realised that all my signs had gone. I was sleeping through the night, stools were back to normal - no tiredness and fine throughout the day. I panicked and got a private scan, I couldn't wait the week until my hospital scan.

It was a horrible thing to happen and I think it was only about 2.5 months afterwards that I began to feel more emotionally stable and able to look forward a bit more positively. When I got my next BFP I just couldn't get excited and only really at about 14 weeks did I start to consider myself as pregnant.

Don't worry about being 39. The good thing is that you did get pregnant. That counts for a lot. I had a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage and my doctor still said my chances were about 66% of getting successfully pregnant next time and I was 41 when he said this. I would recommend you start having some fun with dp so he can begin to relax, my dp and I arranged for a delinquent shagfest in Spain - only I got the BFP the night before we left!! It didn't make any difference as no symptoms at that point - I think our fond memories of that week are carrying us through this pregnancy. Once you are pregnant it is back to no drinking and feeling terribly guilty for every second thing you do. I know you would probably give anything to be in that situation but just mentioning it anyway.

I had better go now as probably pi__ing everyone off on this site.

Come and say hello to everyone sometime and we will share all our pregnancy vibes with you.

daisy dont ever think you are not welcome, just bring heaps of baby dust with you! am sending you a gold star for being so clever

Hey all,

My PC melted yesterday!!! (I'm at my Mum's for sneaky catch up). Taking monitor to repair shop this afternoon but DH is borrowing laptop which will be in situ tomorrow - phew! Feel like I've been away for ever and its only been one day. barbie - how did you cope?!

4ever - thinking of you today and hoping your appointment goes well x

a bientot until tomorrow

Thanks for the invite Daisy I will definitely pop in and wish you all well when we get closer to June - hopefully with a BFP announcement too !

Back later girls - am working away for 2 days and in back to back meetings so can't keep up with you all !!

Still feeling very rubbish, bleeding, cramping and dizzy. Left the house for 10 mins today with my DH but felt dizzy and had to come back.

I seem to have been given lots of different advice on when I can TTC again. Obviously seriously not in the mood for baby dancing for a while yet but what advice was anyone else given? Also can't remember where I read it (my brain still suffering from anaesthetic I think!) but was told its a good idea to wait till I get a negative pregnancy test so I know its a new pregnancy. When is a negative test likely to happen? Its very BFP at the minute (turns bright pink positive in 5 seconds) - that doesn't half feel strange though I'm not even 48 hours post ERPC. Though it helps to make me realise that the high hormones are why I didn't realise I'd been carrying a dead baby for around 5 weeks.

Would you believe it the Water Company have picked this week to do "essential maintenance" on my street . So I can't have a shower or flush the loo!! This really isn't the week not to be able to flush the loo. Luckily I've got 2 toilets so I've banned DH from my one - its just not pretty! (sorry too much information! ) See I'm not just paranoid about twins - even the water company is out to get me! keeping my sense of humour (most of the time!)

Hey everyone,

Hope your all ok, its bloody freezin here at the moment!!

Vjay - congrats on 12 weeks must feel like another milestone can imagine how happy you are.

Anniecam - i know how you feel as a collegue is pregnant and everyone is talking about babies at the moment and only 2 people know in my office so all i get is when are you going to have one?? All I want to shout is I had one and it went away!!

4ever - hope appointment went wellx

Gracie - its awful feeling pap isnt it, but you will get there. Doc said I could try straight away after ERPC and most of the ladies on here said they mostly did. But felt better to wait couple of weeks, not resumed relations as such yet as have both been really full of a cold!!

DH bought me some old prining letters spelling LOVE, quite apt really as he works in printing but they are lovely and are antiques very thoughtful but i havent got him anything

Hi to everyone else hope your all looking forward to the weekend xx Hopefully we will get some baby dancing in this weekend as my af hasnt turned up and it is 4 weeks tomorrow since erpc
Have had some slight cramps today the first since after the erpc so am hoping things are moving in right direction x

sorry you are still feeling ill gracie. I think I had a positive test for 4 weeks after my last erpc. It might be worth waiting a couple of weeks before you test. I know that one of the most miserable things was still seeing that clear positive for so long afterwards, seemed like it was even more positive than the ones I had taken to confirm pregnancy (though that may have been my hallucination!!)

4ever hope you got on ok and your consultant was helpful
zen very impressed with your DH, just remembered today that I haven't even bought a card yet for my DH and as I am off work I don't even have the excuse of being too busy.

I have spent the day decorating a cake for DD's birthday party which is on Sunday. Not finished yet but she was very impressed so far - shocking as I am the least artistic person I know! At least it kept me busy. Still had no bleeding and now 1 week post erpc. Mentioned it to the friend who came with me to the hosp and she said it was a bit weird especially as the dr said to expect lots of bleeding and cramps. She's working tonight so if she sees the dr she's gonna ask him for me - didn't seem the sort of thing to ask him in a text!

hello to the rest of the cave too. Did someone mention Gin earlier?? Definately count me in for that.

I just heard a really good interview with Graham Hughes on womans hour talking about Hughes syndrome ie sticky blood - take an asprin during pregnancy. It was very interesting and positive. He thinks after just 1mc there should be tests done and thought these tests should be done with all the others that pregnant women have. Aparantly bad headaches during teenage years are a sign of Hughes. Swollen ankels and fainting during pregnancy are other markers. It should be on the womans hour web site I expect.
4ever hoping all went ok yesterdayx

I read about Hughes Syndrome in the Telegraph. It looks like it would explain things for a lot of women and more people should be tested.