Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

Thanks mermaidspurse, anniecam and gingermumi thanks for your posts. I do have an EPAU near me, it was where i was treated for my mmc in sept, and where im having a reassurance scan next week. I did think about calling them but i've only had (tmi alert)a bit of brown discharge this morning from wiping and nothing since. Thought I would wait and see if I get any more and if i do, then maybe go into the EPAU or call them at least.

Anyway, DH is being a big kid and gone to have a big snowfight, so i dont have a driver or a car to take me anywhere! lol

the snow looks absolutely beautiful, i want to be out there !

Its chocolate and the sofa then I'm such an old fuss pot x

i like being fussed over by you mermaid

did some1 mention chocolates? think i have a bag of m and m's somewhere??? but im trying to stay off peanuts....damn!

Sabs, it's lovely to see you back. I think spotting is fine most of the time from what I've read. If you're stressing though, give that EPU a call. I think a few London hospitals do private scans too if they won't.

I'll take those M&Ms if they're going spare

I got sent home from work cos of the snow. You gotta love snow!!!

Hi sabs I've been thinking of you. I had brown spotting, with ds, then the last 2 mc's and again, from weeks 5 to 8 with this pregnancy, and it has sacared me poo-less! Just remember there is nothing you can do, crap I know, but see if you can get a scan, I've had one at 7 and 9 weeks so far.
Hope everyone else is doing ok, we've got no snow up here so far, I even had my washing out yesterday.

Hi ladies, thank you for all the kind messages wishing me well for Wednesday.

sabs it's good to have you back but sorry you have been worrying. I have also had some brown discharge, I had some a couple of weeks ago and then went for a scan which confirmed a heart beat at around 6 weeks. I had some more today which has sent me into a spiral of despair...until I saw all the reassuring messages in response to your message. Sounds like it is not necessarily bad news, as lots of women have it, and then go on to have healthy babies, but I totally sympathise with you worrying. I think given that we have already experienced mc we can't help thinking 'oh no, here we go again' but do try to stay calm and positive if you can. My DH was also playing in the snow today - we took his snow board to Greenwich park and he made a little snow ramp and I took photos of him jumping off...good practice for being a mum I reckon!! There was also a moment when he approached a group of other guys with snowboards to have a go on their jump and I thought 'I do hope they're nice to him'. Bless.

snowflake what a lovely mum you are. I am sorry to hear about your loss and your daughter's. Other people do say the stupidest things don't they? Just ignore those comments, they only come from ignorance themselves. My mum was very supportive too once I had eventually opened up to her. She had a still birth at around 7 months after having me and my sister, so I knew she would understand but I just kept saying 'I'm fine' for about 3 months because I knew that if I admitted to her how awful I felt then it would become real. Once I did open up it was such a relief. Your daughter is lucky to have you, and as soon as she's ready, you know where we are

kym a sad welcome to you too and sorry for your losses, such a long time to be going through this rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. I don't have any experience of the tests yet as had 2 mcs. I think, if you haven't already done it, it would be a good idea as someone else suggested to post your question as a separate thread, to make sure the most number of people see it. I really hope you get the answers you need

barbie hope the visa and the internet connection and AF all arrive soon! We all miss your posts, so it was lovely to hear from you

curly my lovely, glad the snow gave you a day off as well! Did you get out to the park? It was very surreal. Have a large sprinkle of baby dust for the rest of your 1 ww.......

scamper waves to everyone else xxx

Hey Scamper thanks so much for the baby dust sweetie. I am totally obsessing at the moment. I seem to have had a boob job and had really bad heartburn for the last week but now I just feel like its a week before AF so who knows I didn't make it to the park cos I accidentally got wedged on the couch and am committed to eating caramel eggs till bedtime!

Hope you are not worrying too much about the spotting. We just need the snow to stick around to distract you till your scan and then all will be fine. I will be thinking of you on Wed (and worrying as I do )

Hey VJ - I'm sending some lovely snow your way

Thanks curly, it looks like it might arrive tomorrow, it's bloomin freezing today though.
Again, good luck tomorrow scamper xxxxx

Bah... woke up the morning all set to build snowman with DS and snow's all gone! We watched 'The Snowman' on DVD instead .

Good Luck for upcoming scans Scamper and sabs and sending lots of babydust to Curly

to everyone else x

Hey everyone,

I've not had the best of days, today I was due to have my 12wk scan and this is all ive been thinking of for the past week. I knew today would be tough but just kept thinking if I could get through today. Managed to bring myself round then my DH was driving us to work and his alarm was going off, I checked it for him and when we looked it was a reminder for the scan
This set me off again with SIL in car and me blubbing like a fool!! To top it off I have lost my voice again and feel like rubbish. Sorry to moan on at you all but am hoping the normal Zen will return at some point as i'm now in the third week since erpc, but all I keep thinking is that today and tomorrow should have been one of the happiest times being able to tell the girls at work and all my friends. We keep trying to look forward but now i just wish my af would hurry up so we can move forward and ttc again. I am aprehensive about trying beforfe af, whats everyone elses views on this?

Hope everyones ok, good luck Scamper for scan tomorrow. Hope the rest of you have enjoyed the snow!! x

hey ladies, hope you're all well....Went into work today,was a very slippery walk into work! But thankfully the trains were running on time. Hows the weather where everyone else is?

vjay how far are you gone now?

scamper i missed out on playing in the snow, but my DH made the most of it too! Theres lots of pics of him on facebook acting like a total loon! Let us know how it goes tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

curly sending even more babydust your way...can totally understand you obsessing. Have you got lots of pregnancy tests on standby???

blue I love the snowman. Reminds me of my childhood. How you feeling?

zen so sorry to hear about your day, can totally relate to how you are feeling. Be kind to yourself and dont feel bad about crying etc. It does take time. Let us know if we can help in any way.

thanks for your messages curlywurlee, vjay, scamperT, blue. The brown discharge seems to have slowed down, but I called the EPAU anyway. No-one could come to the phone as everyone was busy in clinics, but i left my details with the receptionist who said somebody would call me later. But surprise, surprise, no phone call. Not too sure whether to try to call tomorrow or not or just to wait until my scan next week. But now today, for the past few hours, ive been having pain on my left-hand side, next to my boob, and i have no idea what it is! any ideas??

Hello Ladies!!!!I just want to wish scamper good luck!!!
I woul like to wish all of you the best, you are great women and deserve better, I hope all of you have you little ones, I'm just want to say bye;me and DH have decided not to have anymore children my 2 Mc were too hard on us, we have 2 boys that we love and I gues it is not meant for to have more.
You gave me hope and help me through all this sad time.Thank you all for everything.

I love you all

Lorena

GOOD LUCK SCAMPER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sneaky post from work, curly will be back later )

lobeov what a big and brave decision for you both. I wish you well Lorena, big kisses for your lovely precious boys xx.
zen so know and understand how you are feeling, 3 weeks is not such a long time and I think the special dates are especially heartrending. Honey and lemon for that throatx
sabs its real good that the discharge has slowed. the pain sounds like you went and ate too many m&ms! Take things nice and easy though wont you
scamper fingers crossed for todayxx
kym sad welcomes
blue we got heaps and heaps of snow very unusual this far southwest. Every radiator has dripping wet snow clothes on. ds and dh had a common age of about 6!
curly sticky fingers crossed for you you sneaky lady
4ever if you are around lovely lady hope you are as ok as you possibly can be right now. Thinking of you heaps and heaps xx
8

Hi all

Finally made it in to work with the snow - am not loving it now...

sabs Scamper got everything crossed for you both.

zen my sore throat is just going after 4 days, leaving me with a stinking cold... I got a call from my midwife wanting to know why I missed my booking in appointment - I had to tell her I was sitting upstairs waiting for my erpc..

lobeov that must have been such a hard decision to make, and very best wishes for the future.

Can I have positive vibes please? My test results are back, but my consultant's PA couldn't interpret them, so I'm waiting for my consultant to review them and ring me.. I'm not sure whether I want there to be a problem and they can fix it, or for it to be just bad luck..

Ladies, thank you so much for all the good luck messages. I have good news - LO is big enough to be seen without an internal scan and I listened to the heart beat. 8+3 weeks according to measurements, which ties in with my guess as to date of conception. Next scan will be the usual nuchal one at 12 weeks on 2nd March (but am willing to bet I have another massive panic before then and beg them for another early scan!)

lobeov you brave lady, we'll miss you but wish you and your family all happiness for the future. Hope you have been able to smile about how London came to a complete standstill owing to snow while you are warm and sunny!

curly thanks for checking on me even at work!! Really hoping those symptoms bring two little lines your way soon. Then in a few months hopefully we can join all the yummy mummies hauling prams to various cafes across greenwich and blackheath!!

sabs no idea about the pain sorry hon, but doesn't sound like its near to LO, as mermaid said hopefully just something you ate? Its awful waiting for scans I know. Which hospital are you with? St Thomas have been good about sneaking me in for an extra scan, but i did have to go in and wait for a couple of hours, and they can't always scan the day you drop in (although they are open 24 hours which is reassuring)

heebee am sending lots of positive vibes your way ~~~~ (that's the closest my keyboard gets I'm afraid!). Let us know once you've spoken to consultant

zen those 'special' days are the worst. I kept getting calls from midwives and letters about scans weeks after both mcs, every reminder is distressing. As for ttc before af, people (including doctors) seem to have mixed views. One I spoke to said there is no medical reason to wait for af, it just makes it easier to date if you get pg right away. I started trying immediately after both mcs, although then a lot of the grief just got transferred to ttc angst....but it does get easier with time

vjay thanks for all your messages hon, how are you doing now? Are you still feeling sick? I feel queasy pretty much all the time, which I am weirdly pleased about. Sticky thoughts coming your way

blue my sister and I were obsessed with the snowman when we were little and even put on a performance of it in our living room in the middle of July!! I now can't stop humming 'we're walking in the air'. How's the wait til your family holiday going? Did you hear anything back from the nice consultant you saw?

mermaid 4ever and vm am still thinking about you ladies too and wishing you strength in these difficult days xxx

hellos and waves as well to positivethinker kym snowflake ginger mm barbie lionstar mollie jools annie wasabi giraffe and anyone else I've missed...there are lots of us in this lovely cave now

Congratulations on a fab scan scamper .
Yes I'm still feeling sick and getting very tired now, but I am sooo not complaining, as you said, it's very reassuring. I'm 11 weeks tomorrow and starting to get anxious for my dating scan on Friday.
lobeov, good luck to you and your family, you've made a very brave decision, but I bet it feels like a weight lifted.
vm mermaid and4ever, hope you are all alright, I am thinking of you xxx
Big waves to mm barbie blue curly and all the rest that scamper mentioned, wow there is a lot of us

Scamper I am so delighted it is good news - hopefully we'll both be on the way to yummymummyhood soon. (curly starts daydreaming of drinking lattes with Scamper while admiring our beautiful babies )

VJ did the snow arrive? It's started to melt here - poo. I'll be thinking of you on Friday, hope you can keep yourself distracted till then!

Zen try and go easy on yourself honey. I was exactly the same, once I got over the bursting into tears every five minutes stage, I assumed that every day I would get less sad. I did most of the time but then had bad days. Now I don't have bad days, I just have sad thoughts occasionally when I remember. Please believe me, it will get better. It is only three weeks since you lost your little one and you need to give yourself time to grieve, never mind the hormone levels getting back to normal Be kind to yourself, get lots of hugs from DH (and from us when you need it) and take the time that you need.

Mermaid Blue and Sabs thanks a million for the baby dust. DH is out so I'm trying desperately not to do a pregnancy test yet -though have two nice shiny digital ones upstairs . I'm trying to hold off till AF is late as can't bear the thought of knowing if I have a CP. Any word from EPU Sabs ? I don't know about the pain in your side but I shall go google like the wind and see if I find anything!

Hey Lobeov I am so sad to hear you might be leaving us, and that you and DH have reached this very brave decision We'll miss having you around. If you ever need to chat, we'll be here in the cave.

Heebee sending you lots of positive vibes I know what you mean about wanting answers but not wanting them at the same time.

Thinking of you all. VM 4ever and Mermaid hope you are doing okay.

Sabs I can find lots of random stuff from google about pain on the left side in pregnancy, and various reasons - wind, muscle strain, early mastitis(???), stress. Sorry not very helpful I'm sure there's nothing to worry about but it's always worth checking with the EPU though. I don't know whether you've been able to get through to them but try ringing them in the early afternoon. I think a lot of them do clinics in the mornings so won't answer the phone.

Hi curly the snow has finally arrived this morning, you'd think with me living the furthest north I would've been waist deep by now, but no, it's just got here.....and it's so pretty. The school is shut, so I can't go to work. Me and ds have already built a snowman, and that was before 9am. I suppose I could do some more study today.....

Hello, can I join you. Diagnosed mmc on scan yesterday. should have been 9+5 but only 8+1 and no hb. having erpc tonight.

hi and sad welcomes and sympathetic hug napa its do bloody hard and I will be thinking of you later on today.

hi napa a sad welcome to you, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, a mmc is such a shock when you are expecting to be able to see your little one for the first time. My 2nd was a mmc and I remember feeling so angry and sad. You have absolutely come to the right place for support. Take good care of yourself (one day at a time has become something of a mantra here) and let us know how you are doing

vjay boo to doing any study! Didn't you know that snow entitles you to a day off all the usual routines! Glad you have built a snowman already. How about an igloo? Have lots of fun, God knows we all need a bit of that from time to time! When is the dating scan so we can send the stickiest thoughts that day

Scamper waves to evryone else, this is just a quick lunchtime hello xx

Hey everyone, Great news about your scan Scamper and a 'tummy' scan no less!

Lobeov - sorry to see you go but totally understand why. You enjoy your DH and your gorgeous boys and pop back anytime you want x

Sad welcome to napa - so sorry to hear your news. Hope it all goes OK tonight and you can start to heal...

Step away from the pg tests Curly!! Totally agree with waiting until AF is late, its hard I know but better for you emotionally (OK lecture over ).

MM and Mollie - heellllooo?! Where are you?

Well I'm off to tidy up living room, I have some toddlers visiting this afternoon once DS wakes from his nap, let the mayhem commence!

Haven't posted for ages - had all sorts going on in RL. So, this is prob going to be a fairly lengthy post.

Positivethinker - great choice of name given that you have had a terrible time. All I can say is that this is a lovely bunch of people who will be very supportive. I hope the St. Mary's referral goes well and that you get your appt confirmed soon. I know they have an amazing repultation and what Lesley Regan doesn't know about miscarriage isn't worth knowing.
I hope you stay positive x

Kym - welcome to you too. I'm afraid I can't be of any help with your specific questions as I have only suffered one mc and not been through the battery of tests you have had to endure but I am sure that other here will be able to help. I hope you find some answers x

Snowflake - so sorry to hear about your daughters loss and indeed yours. You sound like a great Mum and source of strength for your daughter at this horrible time.

Napa - again with the sad welcomes. As someone who has recently experienced mmc you have my deepest sympathy. I was just so lost for the first few days of waiting for something to happen. I mc'd naturally in the end but would have had EPRC if it hadn't started when it did. I hope you can find some strength from these boards and start to feel positive about the future again.

Scamper - fabulous news about your scan! And being spared the internal scan must have made it a more pleasant experience! Glad that your bean is healthy and strong.

Sabs - any news on a scan? I know most cases of early bleeding/discharge have good outcomes so you should be ok. I'm glad to hear its eased off anyway and hope that you get some sense out the EPU soon.

Zen - I totally get you. I have been randomly bursting into tears since the last of my mc came away last Monday. Its shit, and the fact that you are ill doesn't help. All I can say is that I understand your sadness.

VJay - not long to go until scan day!

Heebee - I am wishing positive vibes your way. I guess by now you have heard from your consultant. What was the score?

Hello to Mermaid, BlueSatin, Jools, Lionstar and anyone I have missed because there are so many on this thread!

Well I have just done a pg test and got a BFN at last so the mc is "officially" over. I wanted to get a BFN before dh and I, ahem, resumed relations in case of horrible mix ups over thinking I was pg again when actually it was from the old one. I am not expecting to get pg this month but we want to get back into the habit as it were! I started my hypnotherapy yesterday which was great - so positive. I am now practicing self hypnosis every day for relaxation and it rocks. I already feel more calm and positive than I did a few days ago.

Loads of love to everyone x