Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

Good for you Jools A friend of mine is doing it and apparently the porridge is quite nice.

I can't seem to motivate myself to go running. I keep telling myself that there's no point as I'll be preggers soon. That was my excuse six months ago too though

Just a quickie from me as its 8.45pm and I've still to have dinner...

Just wanted to say how brave you are Mermaidpurse and glad you were looked after well today. As you say the NHS at its best is unbeatable and I was a bit like you with my consultant (I didn't see one the first time). He was just so wise and calm and positive I wanted to tuck inside his white coat..

Good plan Jools re: diet, every little thing helps..

VM - my doctor said that you could run a marathon/jump off a mountain or stay in bed for 8 weeks and it would make no differnece to whehter you mc or not, as Vjay says its either meant to be or not.

barbie - congrats on villa - you'll be swishing around it in your kaftan soon enough

MM - I've seen you on the other side!

Hi to Sabs, Mollie (yes I love Brothers & Sisters - Rob Lowe (swoon), Scamper, heebee, 4Ever and lobeve* (great day for America!)

So much for quick post, right off to fridge..

curly - I read about Gabby Logan who booked a big fancy holiday in the 'hope' that she would be pg by the time it came round and she was!

I'm logging off now.

Hello ladies after my cry all day experience today, Dr called me to let me know that she agreeds to refer me to a Perinatologist (high risk dr) to do further testing.
May be I'm one of the lucky ones to find some type of answers or explanation why this is happenning to me.
I just wanted to share...

lobeov just popped in cos I never said howdy to you and had to say hi on such a momentous day across the pond. good luck with your tests. I am sure it helps us to begin to make some sense out of such sorrow.
blue hope you enjoyed your dinner eventually and thank you for your words. I think you have also gone through this again too brave lady.
jools feel bad I made you cry, sorry and good luck with the diet
scamper thank you sweetie ditto vjay, curly and ginger who teaches.. aghh cringe spelling.
lovely midwife rang to say box had gone to bristol and booked tests for dh for his blood he will faint. Yeah I am ok today but still testing blue and next week it will be take cover time!
vm blue is so right we all have friends who partied for months not knowing they were pregnant, doing all sorts of things they should'nt without harming precious cargo. And then people like me who obsess about a flamming tea bag end up here. oopps I have waffled, night night.
ps 'tanks into ploughs' how fantastic to hear that coming out of America it will be a truly exciting time for our children to grow into.

mermaid I don't know how you do it but you always have the right words..
I'm sorry if I haven't been supportive...
I don't think I can make anybody feel better , I just can get over how brave all of you are; hopelly I will be able to get there but right now i'm just a wreck.

Thank you all

Thanks for the reassurance mermaid, Vjay, blue, Jools, curly, heeby and everyone else... I must admit that my friend has stressed me out about stress! She herself has had pre-enclampsia during two of her pgs, as well as more than one mc, and attributes these firmly to stress, so I guess that is her take on it. It makes me feel panicky and helpless, though. I still find it hard to believe that an otherwise healthy pg would simply miscarry due to the mother being stressed or anxious, but when we're so worried about every twinge, it doesn't help to be told all of this as a 'fact' by someone who seems to know... argh. Makes me quite angry that she brought it up, actually.

mermaid, thinking of you...

lobeov, sending you a hug.

Morning all

Jools - that does sound positive. Also, if what you're eating is nutrionally balanced, then I wouldn't have thought it would have posed a problem ttc?

lobeov your referral sounds good. I know I felt that just by my consultant (who I heart as much as Mermaid and Blue love theirs!) saying she would do some testing made me feel like I wasn't drifting in the middle of a big ocean of uncertainty (if you see what I mean)

VM its annoying when people take something they've suffered from and tell everyone else they've got the same thing.

Mermaid - glad to hear they are still keeping close contact with you. I've been thinking of you

Hello mermaid havent stopped thinking of you, DH & my mum send their love and sympathy! So glad you have a PLAN! I understand how important that is which is why I sounded off on here about it so much, support from NHS helps massively. Glad you understand the importance of it and can share that with me. I know alot of the poor girlys have had negative experiences of NHS and hope Im not resented for it and that almost makes me feel guilty for sharing my positive, but its all I have to hold onto.

Lobeov havent said welcome yet, congrats on a great day in the USA yesterday, sat there crying at the speech!

Curly thanks for always remembering/mentioning me and making me feel cared about!

Feeling anxious and uncertain again, another scan on fri so not too long to wait. Emotions mixed as this thurs or fri were due dates for last lost baby, also happens to be my best mates sons bd on thurs, and my nephews bd on fri, so will be there giving cards and pres to them, thinking my baby should of been born today. Also my first scan last thurs was exactly 6months to the day that i lost last baby. I'm finding it hard to be positive, not feeling really sick, but am really tired and emotional, but dont know if I'm just wishing symptoms upon myself?! 7w1d now.. Just have this sad feeling weighing me down and dont know if its instinct things not right or just fear. I sooooo want to be positive...

4ever while you are buying pressies for nephew and friend also buy 4ever a little something too. I dont care if its a pair of thermal socks or something sparkly or both. Next lots of rest and positive thoughts. mm talks about scans in terms of sleeps which is a good way to see time go, so only 2 sleeps. So thinking of you and anniversaries are so hard. oh my spelling is just getting worser
heebee yep so right, its not till you get given the PLAN that you realise how awful it is drifting in the doldrums.
vm ok girl i know you are feeling sick but go and get your white coat out of the laundry basket where its been for about 2 weeks waiting for that elusive white wash you hav'nt got around to doing.. put it back on fo a little while. My god if babies died of a bit of stress we would be extinct. Tell your mate that you are not a dodo.
lobeov I will be approaching wreckage point soon, just cos I make stupid jokes about the state of vms laundry basket is a cunning sidetrack - cant even find my laundry basket. Take every day at a time sweetie its ok to feel like you do, sending you a hug, I dont expect you are awake over there yet.

Hello Ladies!!! Thanks for all the hugs, I'm going back to work today, I hope I don't loose it.
I hope all of you have a good day.

Love you all talk to you at night.

PS:Another depressing day in paradise today we are in the 40 degrees crazy weather does not help.

Oh 4ever, you sound as if you need some TLC. I know just what you're going through - I'm feeling it too... not long till your scan now. x

mermaid, I'll try and keep that white coat on! I hope you're doing OK today.

lobeov, good luck at work!

VM - the girls on our TTC thread have been asking after you Lots going on over there - good news and bad ....

Mermaid I love you, so full of great advice when your own trauma is so raw.. Sending you a big hug! Bought mates son some aftershave (he's 14!) and myself my expensive clarins day cream!
Having a tough angry and hormonal day.. Poss redundancies imminent at work (am in big company) and they are doing pathetically patronising 'managing change' workshops with topics such as 'explore the emotion behind the emotions' and 'understand how to rebalance when life throws up change' 'gain tools and techniques to engage with your emotions' its like F* right OFF! Half joking with workmates about the corniness of it and this super patronising 24 yr old senior(?!) collegaue was saying its very beneficial to help us get through this hard time and deal with our emotions! PAH! I want to slap her and her condescending little self, felt like saying I lost 3 babies, my dad, my brother & cousin to cancer, my mums fought breast cancer, how dare you tell me I can benefit from dealing with my emotions in a friggin workshop aimed at helping redundacy! AGGGGH. Am trying to breath but am raging hormonal pyscho underneath. Had to vent. Thank you, and sorry! I should send her a link to this post and say THIS is dealing with raw friggin emotion you immature silly girl. PHEW

Thanks Jools, I popped over!

4ever, everything you say is true! How infuriating all that stuff must be. 'Explore the emotions', 'tools and techniques to engage with your emotions' - ha ha ha ha! ((cue the manic laughter of a very stressed woman.)) I want to DISENGAGE from my emotions, thanks very much, not engage with them any more than I'm already doing, and I'm sure you feel the same! Maybe your colleague could come over here and give old VM a private workshop... that should finish her off!

Someone once told me to imagine an ornate box or chest, then picture my worries one by one and imagine myself picking each one up, giving it a shake and locking them away in a box until I am ready to get them out and deal with them.

It sounded like mumbo jumbo at the time, but (kinda) works for me some of the time. It helps to sort out each strand of worry and at least organise thoughts - give the worries a form and they are less scary.

4ever omg... how do you manage with that kind of stuff at work? mindboggling. Clarins cream, exactly the sort of thing I had in mind. feet up. you too vm jools I need to talk to you about all this ttc stuff. I just happened to find myself over there today and got veeery confused with all these initials everywhere. you always know what you are talking about.

Ask away Mermaid anytime

(I guess you can tell I'm "working" from home today - doing sweet FA ) I've been on MNet since July and picked up all I know from reading threads

I'll hazard a guess at some of the ones confusing you - shout if there are any more

GFJ - grapefruit juice (fresh, not from concentrate) - supposed to increase supplies of EWCM - Egg White Cervical Mucus which is the stuff you see when you are fertile and about to OV (ovulate)

BBT - Basal Body Temperature - for anyone who temps every day to work out when they ovulate etc

OPK - ovulation predictor kit - a stick you pee on to tell you when you get a surge of LH (Luteinising Hormone) that indicates you will ovulate within a few hours

FF - fertility friend - online website that helps you plot your cycles - very useful if you are temping.

Does anyone mind if I join you? I've been lurking and you seem like a lovely bunch. I know Jools from a ttc thread and as she knows I am currently in the middle of an mc -stopped growing at 6 weeks but only started bleeding 3 days ago at nearly 9 weeks. Had a lousy week of blood tests last week to check HCG levels to explain discrepancy in scan dates but all to no avail I had never really felt pregnant at all this time - not like I did with ds when was sick almost all the time.

Feeling okish now - just relieved that things seem to be coming to a natural close. Suspect hormone crash later may be difficult to deal with.

I am spending far too much time on MN these days but have found the miscarriage forum a vital source of info and support in the last 10 days or so.

Ahhh how we laugh vm and mermaid?!?! Manic as it maybe! Just read back and have to laugh myself actually - its quite hilarious isnt it - all this old claptrap from people that have probably had as much stress in their lives as a squirrel. (Random animal) Am def slightly deranged. Hormonal - good sign yes?!?!?!?

Anyway my lovely ladies thank you so much and takin massive inspiration from your strength mermaid! Hope my ramblings have been an adequate and very needed distraction for you my darling (and you too in these anxious times vm). Take your own advice, treat yourself on me (sending virtual money over the net!) and put those feet up! Love you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

thats it! had enough now my flippers are in a twist.ewcm that has got to be the acronym from hell - would have spent 9 months just figuring out what that was meant to be. you have also explained why I managed to have grapefuit juice in my fridge today which seemed to have gone into my brain by osmosis.
vm hand your white coat over to jools please. Thank you

Hey - VM is the one up the duff - surely she is the expert

Enjoy the GFJ Mermaid !! I will know when I've caught the egg because I'll actually like the taste !!

Wasabi - pull up a chair I think we are all mildly hysterical in here!

Right, got to pack up work stop mnetting and get ready for the gym - it has been sorely neglected during the latest hormonal meltdown

wasabipeanut hello sweeite, think I bumped into you somewhere today - we are more or less snap sadly. I am at the mad hormone moment - noticed? - feel very light headed and giddy though which is horrible. We can crash through it together
4ever thanks I have spent my virtual money on a lush parcel and now the house is smelling yummy

We did bump eachother Mermaid you offered me a job Don't worry I won't hold you to it! I am actually quitting my job at the end of the month to go freelance so I can spend more time with my ds.

I hope your hormonal whirlwind starts to subside soon. I await mine with trepidation.

wasabi freelance sounds an exciting direction. I have been so lucky to work around ds it makes a huge difference. Good luck with going back. Now about that job, you get 3 hour coffee breaks, open access to mn and free knitting patterns