Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 2 xxxxx

[barbie1]

Hello to everyone coming over from the previous thread and for all the new girls who will sadly be joining us...
You will not find a better bunch of girls to help you through such a hard time, we will get through this with the help of each other xxxx

Hi everyone,

mollie great to hear from you, hope you get back online soon.

sabs hope you dream comes true although not too big, ouch.

vm Glad I made you feel good, you deserve to be feeling good after all the help you have given us on here, like I have said before you are a very special lady. Amazon have shipped your book so should get started soon.

barbie have sent you another message with my phone number, I know you were working late last night so speak to you later.

At work so need to keep it short for now, hope everyone is well today, hugs and waves from mm xxx

Hi All. RL been kicking in for me too at wk last couple of days but welcome the distraction. Just read up on latest and seem to keep getting missed off the lists (I've put my details on twice) so 3rd time lucky!

barbie age 28 newcastle no children

vm age 25 oxford one ds

mm age 36 glasgow one dd

curlywurlee age 35 greenwich no children

molliemooma ?????

jonesy 40, Reading, one ds

mermaidspurse 40, Cornwall, 1 ds.

sabs 27 London No children

circularrainbow - age 40, hants, 2 dc

lilac - 31, Devon, 1 dd

4ever

Vjay 31 near Inverness, one ds

sausage

bluesatinsash - age 37, Falkirk, 1 DS

scamperT

aspi

We're almost all accounted for now! Nice to see a few same age as me - do you feel same 'is it too late for me?' worries as me I wonder?

Must say a belated 'congrats' Barbie on DH's new job! How exciting! New starts like that can be so refreshing - could be just what you need and bit of a re-energiser.

Confess I just found out you can see people's profiles if you click on their names so Barbie I clicked on yours and it was lovely to see one of you for real - lovely pics btw! You and DH are such a handsome pair !

Have put pics of me & ds on mine now...

Fab to see some are actually meeting up - there's going to be a special bond there already so I think it's great. Hope it goes well and look forward to reading about it nxt week...

Off to get shopping b4 school run x

Jonesey, don't be fooled - I'm 39, not 25 (that was barbie's little joke!) I have all the 'is it too late for me?' worries, but am going to try again anyway!
Your ds is gorgeous, by the way!

mm, happy reading... I'm now going to do two hours' writing on the next one... while also washing DH's socks. Why is it that the person who works from home always gets to do the laundry?!

Yep I have been working around the breakfast things all day! but I did get 2 loads of washing out - multi tasking sure is exhausing.
jonesey my clock is ticking so loudly that I hear little else. I have already convinced myself that I am pregnant even though it took me months and months and months last time. I hate the over analysing of everything that before in my sane and comfy self I took for granted. I am trying mentally to prepare myself for the consultant on the 24th. I have a feeling dh would like our clock to stop now after 3mc but I cant. waves to allx

Afternoon all,

VJ - great news on your test results, now you can concentrate on ttc and getting your next bfp!! What are you studying?

barbie - congratulations on the Dubai job! I'm sweating already, although you will of course be living in air conditioned luxury!! I think it will be a great experience to live there - how long do you expect to be there? Pack plenty of suntan and of course, a maternity costume!!

lilac - well done on learning how to swim! You'll soon get the hang of it and it's good overall exercise too.

blue - the mc ceremony sounds like a lovely gesture of remembrance; shame it's not a national initiative - if one hospital can do it, then why not all? On a different topic, I have held a snake once - it slithered over my arms whilst I 'stroked' it; it felt surprisingly sleek, not slimy or rough as I'd imagined. Of course, you do realise what the antidote to phobias are don't you.....!

curly - hope work has gone OK so far this week, the first day back can be the worst as you have to re-acquaint yourself with your working environment and to wear a different mindset.

sabs - your dream sounds very exciting...not long to wait until the new year to make it come true...

jonesey - lovely pics, your ds's shades are very cool! No, I don't think 40yrs is too old to have a dc. I think women have always had dc later in life but nowadays, there are even more because women now have careers or they take time to find the right partner, etc. I think having dc between the ages of 35-45 will become more 'normal' in the next couple of decades (throughout much of the West).

and last but not least (or youngest)

vm - whenever I type 'vm' I always think 'vim' ! Do they still make it?!!! Well done on meeting your deadline....onto the next one now! Being busy will make November pass very quickly!!

Well, I didn't have my daily leisure centre fix today; got af instead! I have to say, being able to (tmi alert) wear tampons is wonderful. That was the one thing, for me, that made the wretched mc so 'in your face'; it wasn't just the copious amount of bleeding, it was the fact that I had to wear pads...which was way tmi every half an hour or so! At least tampons conceal the obvious...out of sight, out of mind!

mermaid - hello! Hope you're well today..!

Hi barbie and jonesy lovely pics, you are both so clever, i have no idea how to post such things!!
Circular I am studying maths and science through the open u so I can eventually teach at secondary level. People think I'm mad, but it's what I want to do. I took an exam in October then hour later I was in the hospital having a scan to check up on the bleeding I was having, that was my last mc. The exam results will be out in December, so fingers crossed.
Hello to everyone else, hope you're all having lovely Wednesdays xx

Hey, VJ, I study with the OU too!! Well, I haven't taken a course this year but I fully intend to take more courses in the future. After I'd had my ds (he's nearly 6yrs old), I needed something 'for me' (other than the swimming and steaming of course ), so I turned to the OU! It's good to keep the old (less of the old) brain ticking over, although my last course had a 3hr exam....my Uni finals are a distant memory so it was a bit of a rude awakening!! Good for you and fingers crossed for a great result in December! How many more points do you need to qualify?

Hi circular, my ds has just turned 6, I started OU just before he was 4 and so far will have 160 points, that's if I've got the 60 i've done this year. I'm just doing a small 10 pointer at the mo, then I'll need another 190....a long way to go yet!

How about you cicular, what are you studying? I was going to add that on before, but ds needed me!

I always had an interest in natural sciences/biological sciences/evolution and so on but I didn't actually study it at Uni (did Computer Science instead [geek emoticon])...but I was able to indulge myself through the OU!! It would be good to aim towards a named degree but I doubt it will happen because of all the time required at residential school and with two young kids, it's not possible. So, that leaves an unnamed degree, which in some ways is a good option because it enables courses from any disclipine to be combined - so long as you accumulate your points, then you get your degree! I don't have a timeline in which to take any courses though, rather I take courses whenever I feel the need to learn something new!

I would say aiming to teach science and maths at secondary level will guarantee you a job!

My we are a clever bunch in here!!! Well not me, I only got one O'Level and left school at 16 - but hey, I can upload pics!!!

vm (or vim?) thnx for compliment on ds, I swelled with pride when I read that - always nice to hear! However, you'll see also he looks absolutely nothing like me! Always wondered about that - if I hadn't actually been there I would have thought he wasn't! Can I ask you about your writing - I'm intrigued... Are you/have you always been a novelist? Is that what you write full time? How long does it take to write a whole novel? How many have you written? I noticed the book is billed as your 'debut'.. So many questions...! Sorry! And ps. I LOVED being 39 it was a good age.. now 40's another matter..

mermaid yes I know what you mean about the clock ticking! I feel a sense of urgency which is no doubt irrational but now that I have 2 mc's behind me, it's worse!

Circular my ds is nearly 6 too (15th Dec)! Yes they were cool shades - got them in NZ tho - think they need them more there than we do here!!! He thought he was a real dude wearing them! I did LOL reading your post about the pads - you write the funniest things - I needed a laugh today, believe me ...

VJ LOL...in one breath you say barbie & I are clever for uploading pics, and the next you're studying maths & science to teaching standard! OMG! I may be good at uploading pics to t'internet but there's no way I could do what you're doing! Good for you though - I expect it's one helluva tough job but hugely rewarding too.

Finally - my beautiful silver angel wings necklace arrived today and I love it! I put it on straight away got a bit tearful) and I have a feeling it may not come off for a very long time.

Hello, hello, hello (that's an echo!) It's a tad quiet in here tonight. I'm about to log off and watch telly, and then I bet you all come on here when I'm gone . Hope you've all had lovely days, a friend rang up to say they are pg, i was upset for a while, but a couple of hours later I was fine about it, I quite suprised myself.

Evening all,

Jonesy - your angel wings necklace sounds lovely and your DS is gorg. Your not bad either for an old bird

Circular snakes - never - I do love spiders though and have lots in my house to prove it! I agree the relief of not having to wear those horrid big pads (and the horrid big pants required to accomodate them). I bled horribly for two weeks and had to wear my MC hammer trousers to ensure enough room

Mermaidpurse - sauna sounded good - need to attack my bikini line first before I venture there

I left my profile page and photos on my old name as felt too sad to copy them over. May resurrect them if I ever feel confident enough in a future pg at which point I'll lose the 'blue' from my name too!

Housework day for me tomorrow - joy!

Hi ladies

can I join you? I didn't have a miscarriage - I had a termination, but it was because it turned out after a horrendous 12 week nuchal scan that my baby couldnt survive. I chose the termination because although they knew my baby couldnt live, it wasnt clear when it would die - it could have been months away, or even at full term. This was three weeks ago and I'm still awaiting postmortem results to tell us why this happened. I have a one year old DD, who I'm bf.

I wanted to express my sincerest sadness at what you've all been through. And to send you lots of hugs - we need it.

I hope you'll accept me despite the circumstances that bring me here - I assure you I couldnt have wanted this baby more and the termination was only because it was clear that the baby couldnt live. Thanks.

hopefullypregnant So sad for your loss - that must have been truly awful! You will find lots of support here for sure - everyone is so good! Welcome and I hope you find some comfort here. Will you be ttc again do you think? I'm sure some of that decision will rest on the post mortem findings. I am truly sorry for what has happened to you.

blue LOL and thnx (much needed) love the sound of the MC Hammer trousers - will you post a pic of them when you're brave enough to resurrect your profile? They sound awsome!

Am thoroughly miserable tonight as had BIG row with DP. Men can be so rubbish sometimes. Am now contemplating sleeping in the spare room - ugghh! The whole day was a bit teary and down but tonight just topped it all off. The light in my day was seeing ds swim for the first time at his swimming lesson - this is the first time he's not complained about going and it's only because he's obviously just found his confidence! Bless!

Desperate Housewives and a glass of wine may help a little with the spare room issue...

hopefullypregnant - hello and welcome. Sorry to hear about your sad experience, what an awful shock at your 12wk scan. I hope the test results bring you some firm answers; at least your dd proves that you can have healthy dc. I'm sure you'll find the answers to any questions that you may have on this thread...

jonesey - sorry to hear you're feeling down, hope the wine helps a little and that things seems brighter with dp in the morning...maybe a good night's sleep is in order! And well done to your ds for learning how to swim!

Evening girls,

hopefullypregnant of course we will accept you, we have all lost our angels and yours has been taken in such a cruel way. Hope you can get some answers from the post mortem. So sorry to have to welcome you here.

jonesy love the thought of your angel wings necklace, I remember you talking that you had bought one for your friend before, it makes me so sad that you now have one also but it also sounds a beautiful way to remember. Hope you are feeling better after a glass of wine and don't need to use the spare room tonight.

circular tampons all the way girl........how easy we can be to please these days, no more physical reminders when we see and feel those horrid pads. Hope you can get back to your swimming soon, it does help to keep spirits raised.

blue I hope we see the blue disappear from your name soon, look forward to seeing your old profile back in the very near future.

vm I got your book today, can't wait to get started.........I'm excited now.

Well tried and failed miserably to upload some photos to my profile tonight. Barbie (where is she) has been giving me some gentle persuasion to get some photos on but it didn't work first time and I think I am too tired now to mess around aaaarrrgggghhh maybe tomorrow I'll give it another go. Night night everyone xxx

Hey, VJ - I just signed up to do a 10pt course! I had been thinking about it just recently but talking about it on here tonight revitalised my interest...I'm so glad we discussed the OU tonight because the closing date to start the course this month is 14/11, so I just squeaked in! I'm looking forward to it actually as it's been a year since my last course finished. It's all good therapy!

a quick hello girls, sorry no time to post to everyone but i miss you girls! honestly i feel that im having withdrawl symptoms at not having the time to post! finished at 10 pm last night arrived home at 11pm, woke at 6am to walk the dog this morning, back to work for 9am over time until 8pm , airport to collect mum at 8.30, weekly shopping at 9pm with my mum and then home....Im sooooo tired but didnt want you to think i had left or something silly!

mm i have your number hun, i will text you tomorrow i promise..

If i dont post so much over the next few days its because im catching up on rl, the first time in months! Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can

Love, hugs and wishes to you all xxx

Hi ladies! I'm back!

Barbie Well done for starting part 2! Not had a chance to read through properly yet though... Hope all's well with you?

MM Did get the the bit about you going to your service, hope it helped you hon? We went again on sunday and saw the vicar, felt v embarrassed about my rant, but we both blushed and apologised profusely whilst holding hands so made me feel lots better. Service was sad though and yet more tears...

Hello also to VM Circular Mollie Mermaid Sabs and lots of other new names on here! God, have I been gone that long?

Well RL took over, not in such a great way, w/end was nice but on mon my car got flooded by rain water - 3inches of water round the floor!, on tues our front room window got smashed (kids we think/hope), took day off yesterday tryin to get sorted but insurance co wont send someone til tomorrow so wont be fixed til next week , all the stress has agravated my bad lower back, I get a lumber sprain causing muscle spasms! Cant bend and walking is getting progressively worse .

So as well as all that, today we are off to hospital to see the specialist finally, but not entirely sure what to expect now cos we already got all clear from docs, but results of one more test to come, and maybe another test to be done? Want to find a reason why. All a bit anti climactic, was so desperate to see the specialist back in August, but after all the ups and downs (delays due to 2nd erpc, rows with his secretary, cancelled and rearranged apts, grappling to get results early from docs) not really expecting much and a bit deflated sort of - whatever - feeling now... Anyway its at 2.20pm so will let you know...

Hugs & love xxxxxxxxxxx

mm just a quick note as I'm at work but your photos might be too large so you have to email them to yourself from Outlook Express (open photo, right click and select Send To - Mail Recipient) and then when you receive it in your Hotmail or Yahoo or wherever, save it again as it will have been resized (smaller) and that should work when you try to upload.

I might be wrong about the size thing but that's what it was with mine. Good luck!

hopefully pregnant Having a little catch up and saw your post - heart bleeds for you hon, we had same results of nuchal test, 8mm fluid in the end, we went back at 13 weeks expecting to have to make the decision you did, 'not compatable' with life' was the term they used, and thankfully(?!) god made the decision for us cos our babys hb had stopped. I literally ache for you sweetheart. How very awful to want a baby so badly, see it growing and looking otherwise normal, to be told its not. Any support you need - we are all here. Sending you love and strength xxxxxxx

Hiya

I'd like to join you lovely ladies - thanks to Vjay for the invite

I'm 39 and was pregnant for the first time - went away for a lovely weekend with DP - sorted out a lot of communication issues and talked about the future. Had a little bleed when we got back on Monday night, worse Tuesday morning and by Tuesday afternoon (2 days after my birthday), instead of going for my 12 week scan (at 11+4), I was sitting in A&E, bleeding out badly and terrified

Yesterday was a hideous and painful day that I shall never forget. Today, pain and bleeding seems to have subsided and I had a scan to confirm no D&C required as virtually everything has gone. Midwife there was lovely and I held it all together till I had to walk past a parenting class and then was sat in a waiting area, watching happy couples coming out from their scans

I'm not sure what I feel yet or how to deal with it all - not sure what to tell work or what to ask the GP - I've been told to see a GP if I want to get signed off.

This forum has been a godsend, and also puts things in perspective when I realise how many people have been affected and how much worse it could have been.

I can't quite cut loose of the antenatal threads but guess I need to and obviously won't be TTC for a while so hopefully this thread can be home for a while

Jonesy68 the necklace sounds lovely and is such a nice way to remember your lost angel. Hope you?re feeling better after yesterday evening and didn?t have to sleep in the spare room?

Vjay very proud of you for feeling positive for your friend, hope I am strong as you when I am confronted by more pregnancies?.

Hopefullypregnant sorry you have had to join us but you are most welcome. I remember reading about your situation on other threads. Hopefully joining us will make the next few weeks easier for you.

4everhopeful welcome back! Sounds like you haven?t been having much fun though. Good luck at the hospital. Let us know how you get on

Sabs waves to everyone else

Just to let you all know that I have started a thread on the conception board for all of us who are hoping to ttc in the New Year. Here?s the link hope that works! I?m the only one who?s written on there so feeling quite lonely . I know lots of us don?t want to leave our lovely friends on here, but it may help us to move on by writing elsewhere (and taking as many people as we can with us!) I get really worried at the thought of upsetting anyone on this board who are not ready yet and still trying to get over their grief with thoughts of ttc