Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 2 xxxxx

[barbie1]

Hello to everyone coming over from the previous thread and for all the new girls who will sadly be joining us...
You will not find a better bunch of girls to help you through such a hard time, we will get through this with the help of each other xxxx

Hello, everyone

May I join you, too? Have just had my third mc within a year and am really struggling to cope. It was found at 8.5 weeks at an early scan last Monday, I then started bleeding last Tues afternoon, which now seems to be easing off.

I thought I was OK, then reading an article in the Sunday paper set me off crying (I'm sure you can imagine what the article was about). I just haven't been able to stop crying since for thinking about it. Do you think I should just cry it out, or would you be going to your GP by now?

I am so sorry if this is a hijack, but am feeling really desperate this evening.

Lilacpink - I really hope the next 6 months go really quickly for you and we see you back here soon. As you say, the BFN sounds like a positive thing.

Sussex - you are very welcome - what a year you must have had It really puts my recent troubles into perspective. I think I'm very glad I didn't see that article.

As for speaking to a GP - I keep thinking about it too, but have decided to wait a week and see if the hormone-induced sobbing fits subside before perhaps asking for some help. We're on the same sort of timeline I think - I had no scan, but started to mc naturally last Tuesday afternoon at 11+4 - very sudden, bloody, painful and scary

Anyone for some choc orange ? It was bogof in Woolies so I have two - will pass it round

Oh jools thank you - am so, so sorry to hear you're in the same boat, well, an even worse one in fact, as your mc was much later .

I think that's a good plan, to wait for a week. Even though the grief's projected elsewhere at the moment, it's probably good to get the sobs out.

Sussex - it was my first pregnancy and I'd had no spotting whatsoever, so no early scans. My scan was due 2 hours after the world started falling out of my fanjo (thanks to lionstar for that very good description !). So, I have no real idea when beanie died I described what I felt to the EPU nurse, who thinks the fact I had contractions and the urge to push (felt so odd and so wrong) must mean that it really was around 11 weeks but I guess I'll never know

Heebeejeebee and sussexoldspot sorry you have had to join us. Sounds like you both have had a tough year. Hope this board helps you in some way. The ladies on here are all a lovely bunch

lilacpink hope to see you back on MN soon, with some positive news

jools chocs very welcome!

heebee and sussex I am so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you both, this is all so very hard

Please come on here and write as much as you need, and especially when others don't seem to understand, remember that there is a safe warm space here with plenty of chocolate (thanks jools!)

We will all come through these awful experiences, to be blessed and challenged by children who do make the journey to the outside world, but we'll never forget the little ones we lost.

As mm said, its about taking small steps.

sabs will brave it outside our safe space and come and find you on your new thread soon! How is your nan doing? I hope she is ok.

curly am waving at you from deptford! If you happen to see a small tabby cat wandering around Greenwich, we have lost ours, named Ransom coz we had to literally pay a ransom to this dodgy guy the last time he went missing!

waves to everyone from scamper

xxx

scamperT thanks for asking. Nan's not so great. She's still in hospital. Can't remember if I said she's got DVT, (along with all her other medical problems) so they've started treatment for that. Mum's still up there with her, we might go over on weekend.

Hows things with you? How was your day?

Will love for you to join the new thread! its a bit lonely over there

Sabs - I WILL join you over there soon Wanted to give things a couple of weeks to calm down though as I am still spotting.

I guess any TTC for the next few weeks will be a bit random, but I'll give it a go anyway.

Hope your nan starts to improve soon - must be so worrying.

Hey sabs, my day was mixed - in the middle of the day I started to feel down, and got really crabby with people at work, but now am feeling better, thanks to lots of food and also packing for weekend in new york...DH and I are staying with friends there, fly out friday, am v excited as never been to the states before, and also pleased to have an adventure to stop my brooding for a few days. to hear your nan is still in hospital but hope she's getting all the care she needs.

ladies, I'll bring plenty of american sized puddings and george clooney back with me for our cave, any other rqeuests?

thinking of you all xx

scamper newyork i went two years agon in jan, dh took me there as a birthday suprise and proposed!!!!

mm just got your message, didnt want to text you back as it was too late, im thinking about you and hope your dd is ok

Hello everyone, im off to bed, mum has gone so full mumsnetting will resume tomorrow xx

Morning all

Nearly wimped out of working today, but am sat in my study and have emailed my boss to tell him I'm working from home for the rest of the week.

I was a bit nervous but feel OK so far - not sure what will happen when anyone phones though .

I made DP kick me off the sofa and upstairs when he left for work at 8am so I actually got moving - feel like I've achieved something at least !! Not sure how much actual work I'll get done, but at least I'm moving forward !

Scamper - I went to NY nine years ago to celebrate a friend's 30th and still remember it as my best holiday ever. It was this time of year too as we were there over Thanksgiving. The day after Thanksgiving is a day of massive sales - like the January sales, so take a spare suitcase I just loved walking up all those familiar streets. Go to Katz's deli, where they filmed THAT scene in When Harry Met Sally for a fabulous American experience and a huuuuuge sandwich The Starlight Diner is a classis and used to do fantastic piles of pancakes - enjoy your breakfasts I love American folk music and managed to catch a couple of my favourite singers whilst over there - loved walking round Greenwich village and going to a gig at the Bottom Line club I was planning to go back for my 40th next November, taking a 6 month old baby with me - well that certainly won't happen

Barbie I just had to check you were ok and that your dh not caught up in that pirate boat saga! Thought of you instantly, but I see your recent posts are of your pretty new tattoo so thankfully dh must be ok?!

Vm Mm Mollie Circ Sabs Scamper Jools Lilac and any ladies or newbies I've not yet said hello to, hope you are all doin ok, sorry for being a stranger, real life has been taking over! (not in the best way tho!) Also internet ban at work not helped!

Just seen this! Circular Thank you for remembering me, and adding me onto this sweetie! I wasnt gone that long was I? Anyway added my bits now!

barbie age 28 newcastle no children
vm age 25 oxford one ds
mm glasgow one dd
curlywurlee age 35 greenwich no children
molliemooma ?????
jonesy*mermaidspurse sab*circularrainbow - age 140, hants, 2 dc
lilac
4ever age 33, london, no children - lovely DH!
Vjay
sausage
bluesatinsash*scamperT*aspi

Lotsa love to you all - nearly the end of this strange and sad year - roll on 2009! xxx

Heebeejeebee and Sussex, a very sad welcome to you both, so sorry you're going through this too... Just cry it all out, take time off, talk it through here and in RL, whatever helps you to cope! I had a mmc in early September followed by ERPC and I remember the hormonal rollercoaster and the terrible grief. Still have low days but they will slowly start to even out, you'll see. Just take very tiny steps and be gentle on yourselves. The ladies here are great.

mm, how is your dd? I'm sure she's on the mend now with mum's TLC!

lilac, ((waves)), hello and thanks for coming back to let us know how you are - see you on an antenatal thread next year I hope! x

Hello barbie ((blows a kiss)) and everyone else I haven't mentioned by name!

AF has arrived, thank goodness. Hope it will even out my mood a bit; I could do with a bit of the old robustness... Keep thinking that I can't cope with even small stresses but try to remind myself that life can never be stress free - that's the deal. It's the way you rise to them that matters... Urgh I will stop philosophising now and go and do some work!

Barbie So glad you finally got the tattoo done, I know that's what we opened the thread with, seems like ages ago now! You HAVE to post a picture of it, pretty please
Sussex Oh no I was gutted to see your name pop up in here, we were on the M/C avengers thread together, so sorry things didn't work out again for you hun
HeeBee So sorry you have had to join us too, hope the wait til Tuesday goes quickly for you
Lilac Sorry to hear that mp has been confirmed and you have to wait to TTC, I will be thinking of you and good luck for the future x
Jools Thanks for the chocolate orange it was lovely
Scamper Sorry to hear about Ransome being missing, hope he turns up soon and without a price tag on his head this time
Sabs Hope your Nan gets better soon, will join you on the new thread but after my consultants appt on 9th Dec as I don't want to get pg before then in case I have a 4th m/c this year don't think I could cope mentally, you'd be visiting me in the looney bin
4ever at your work internet ban, how inconsiderate of them!
MM Hope DD is better now?
VM Hope you feel better now AF has arrived, I'm still getting lows when AF due now, just want to get back to "normal"
Mollie waves to Sausage Circular & BlueSatin

Well I decided to take a duvet day yesterday as I'd had a crap couple of days, think mine is hormone related too as AF due at the weekend although spotting started today which would make a 26 day cycle and a v short lutueal phase, so now I'm worrying about that Anyway for some unknown reason Monday morning the thought popped into my head that I should either have a 3 mth baby, or be 5 or 3 mths pg now and I have nothing! Couldn't control my emotions after that and cried at work for 2 days, nightmare! So day off yesterday I started spring cleaning, but fell on a wet floor onto my knee and had to go to A&E, after a few x rays as they thought I'd broken my knee cap I'm back home, swollen tired but it has distracted me from my sad thoughts, bit extreme but it's worked!
Suddenly realised I've not updated myself on the list, newbies feel free to join this if you want.

Barbie age 28 newcastle no children
vm age 25 oxford one ds
mm glasgow one dd
curlywurlee age 35 greenwich no children
molliemooma age 36 no children
jonesy mermaidspurse sab circularrainbow - age 140, hants, 2 dc
4ever age 33, london, no children - lovely DH!
Vjay
sausage
bluesatinsash scamperT aspi

Mollie, OMG, you've had a tough time; glad you can see the upside! If it's any comfort, I wouldn't worry about your luteal phase; post-mc cycles can be all over the place as your hormones settle down, and apparently having a slightly shorter lp in the first few cycles is perfectly normal - it will correct itself. Happened to me last month and it's back to what it used to be again now. Really sorry to hear you've been feeling so low. I'm sure our blues are AF related (progesterone drop as AF approaches??); I'm actually almost afraid of going through such a low patch again - it was like being picked up by the scruff of the neck and shaken about by a huge black dog. Now its jaws are briefly off! Thinking of you and hoping your knee is a bit better! x

Big hellos to everyone,

Not feeling too bad today. Yesterday ended up getting dd from school early after all, she had knocked the back of her head and cut it. Long story short took her to a+e to get checked out but thankfully she is fine..........just with a big bump. Woke her up twice during the night just to check but I am confident she will be ok now.
I suppose it took my mind off of tomorrow. Heard last night that my stepmums best friend became a granny again the other day, it made me so because her DIL and I shared the same due date. It kind of brings it home I guess. Anyway I will be fine, a little sad but fine, no option have we girls.

vm I know what you mean about dealing with small stresses, I am exactly the same. Everything just seems so hard now, it's almost like there is a conspiracy to make life difficult. Glad to hear AF made her appearance for you.

mollie OMG hope you are not in too much pain today after your fall. It certainly is one way to distract you. You take it easy hun and chat away.

barbie thank you for texting me last night, what a lovely surprise when I finished my shift. Hope work is not too bad now you have handed in your notice. Seen Dubai in GMTV this morning and was thinking of you, exciting times ahead for you and ken.

sussex and heebee sorry you have had to join us but you are in the right place with these lovely ladies. sussex your name rings a bell from the knicker checkers thread, I was on it until my last mc.

Big hugs and waves to everyone I haven't mentioned, at work to quickly running out of time here. Will check in later mm xxx

mm, so glad to hear dd is OK; the same thing happened to my ds when he was 3 (cut to the forehead followed by A&E; he still has the scar) but I ended up in shock and he was fine!

The small stresses: yes, I really wish I could cope better with the daily stuff. Used to be able to handle it all and keep a sense of perspective. Would pay handsomely for a sense of perspective now if anyone had a spare one to send me! Sending you hugs. x

Ouch - hope you're feeling better MollieMooma and MM - glad DD is OK. I guess the worry doesn't stop from the day you get that BFP !!

VM - we seem to be bumping into each other all over the place

Well, Ive officially been "at work" since 8am but don't think I've managed more than the odd ten minutes - concentration is all over the place.

I twigged today that my mc was actually on Remembrance Day - and the day I was actually due (was born on Nov 9th) How is that for co-incidences, and I'll never forget it ! I'm not sure I'll ever really enjoy a birthday again either as I had my first warning of what was to come that night Maybe that will change if I have a LO to look after by the next one

Hi jools! I'm sure having a lo to take care of by the time your next birthday somes around will take a lot of the pain away... besides which, you'll be kept too busy by lo to dwell! The baby I miscarried in Sept would have been born on our wedding anniversary next April. Happier times for us both to come, I hope... x

Hey everyone and welcome to Heebeejeebee and Sussex, so sorry to read your experiences, its just shit isn't it. You couldn't have picked a lovlier bunch of girls. Hope your recovery is helped here...

lilac - and hope to bump into you next year

Mollie - sorry to hear about your low day and your wet kitchen accident (ouch), hope your knee is better today x

MM glad your DD is fine.

VM - so AF is here - yay!

sabs - v about New York. I was there 5 years ago today for DH's 30th birthday and it was the best weekend ever - (sighs wistfully) We bought our wedding rings from Tiffany's, got drunk in a gay bar in Greenwich Village and generally stuffed our faces. You must try the authentic diners for breakfast, they are fabulous x

barbie - did you DH propose up the top of the Empire State?

Not much news from me, looking forward to not working tomorrow and taking DH to Glasgow for his b'day (OK its not New York but its a city!). We're going to mooch about and have a long lunch.

Hi everyone, and big hugs to sussex, heebee and lilac.
My af arrived today, I'm pleased to see it because now I can work out where I'm at. I have been temping a little bit, and my guesses as to when I ovulated were right, so i'm starting to feel that my body is back on track. AF arriving also explains my crappy moods the last few days, and why I woke up today feeling like a weight had been lifted. Hormones have a lot to answer for.

Barbie age 28 newcastle no children
vm age 25 oxford one ds
mm glasgow one dd
curlywurlee age 35 greenwich no children
molliemooma age 36 no children
jonesy 40, Reading, 1 ds
mermaidspurse sab*circularrainbow - age 140, hants, 2 dc
4ever age 33, london, no children - lovely DH!
Vjay
sausage
bluesatinsash*scamperT*aspi

(I think this is an old one as I've put my details on 3 times before and it had gone again..)

I did a pregnancy test today as they told me to 2 weeks after mc and it should be negative but bizarrely it said 'pregnant'. Don't think I've been so fed up to see a result like that since I was 15 ()! What on earth does it mean? I just so hope it doesn't mean I've got to go for an ERPC... My bleeding has almost quit and I def had the full works of mc 2 weeks ago and saw the lot go, so can't imagine what could be left! Have to have blood test Tues - god they're SO slow! I am Mrs Frustrated from Frustrated Town today.. Grateful for any offers of advice or if anyone else had this and knows what's going on..

Meanwhile, how is everyone else? So sorry to see we have newbies I am sad for your losses but hope this thread will help and provide some comfort to you..x

I was told to wait three weeks before doing a pg test, mine was neg by then x

Hello all - I am NEVER EVER staying away from Mumsnet for 4 days again - it takes for ever to catch up with your jibberjabber Anyway big hugs to VJ, jonesy, lionstar, mm, vm, blue, daisymummy, 4ever, mermaid, circular, sausage, barbie, mollie and everyone else.

Welcome sussex and heejee. I am so sad for you both and all I can think of to say is that things will look better soon. My heart was absolutely broken by a MMC three and a half weeks ago. It's still hard but when I look back and think of that wretched first week I realise how much things have got better thanks to these lovely ladies. Just hang in there.

lilac I'm so so sorry to hear your news. I am sending a massive hug your way. I know the next six months will be very hard but please stay in touch if you can. We're all here as long as you need us.

Sorry to hear about your nan Sabs. Alzheimers is hard enough without everything else she is going through. It's pretty horrible to watch someone you love go through it. I hope she's okay honey.

Jools, your beautiful story of buying the floppy grey bunny made me cry. Someday I pray you will have a darling child and can explain how much this little bunny means.

And finally to my lovely neighbour scamper, here's an extra big wave from greenwich. I promise I'll keep an eye out for your tabby - but don't tell my cat - she's doesn't like me even talking to other cats

Hi I'm new to the board - it's amazing how supportive you all are for each other on here.... I discovered a mmc nearly 2 weeks ago now at 10 weeks (although baby only lived to 9). Just need to vent if that's ok because today has been a bit tough. Found out that a former colleague of mine who had her first baby at the same time as me is now 24 weeks pregnant... Threw me a bit.

Then I had plans to catch up with a really old friend who I've know since we were babies and to chat about mc because at least she has children of all my old friends so in someway could appreciate what i'm going through. When she arrived, she was blatantly pg but too early to share - she shows really early - and I felt too bad to tell her how it's all affecting me... I have a couple of other people for support but she's a really old friend and it was just important to me that I could share with just one old friend who I knew won;t spend of the rest of the future assuming I'm trying and share it with loads of other people as gossip at my expense. I didn't want to make her feel bad about sharing her pg with me once she's ready as I don't want to be left out.