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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

missed miscarriage, just sat here waiting.....

500 replies

dramaqueen72 · 13/01/2005 09:37

anyone out there relate to this? this is my second missed m/c, tho i had a baby inbetween. the shock of a diasterous scan still hurts like mad i found out yesterday. i now have to wait a week for a rescan, and then choose how i want ot proceed. either a eprc (d&c), or pills to force m/c, or 'sit and wait' with poss return to surgery. absolutely crap awful choices. i feel so numb and like my life is on hold. still havent told hardly anyone but struggling to day to appear 'normal' and jolly.
bloatella if youre out there......i couldnt find your thread so am wittering away on this one.

OP posts:
Bella23 · 23/02/2005 11:07

Teatime - pretty please come over to our ttc thread. We're all a bit barking so you'll be in good company

Original poster
dramaqueen72 · 23/02/2005 19:21

er...whos barking????

OP posts:
george32 · 24/02/2005 01:09

Hi Teatime, hope you are OK and things going well for you. Had to throw some muesli out the back door to try to keep the birds happy after they heard you were spoiling those near you!!

I'm still trying to make it permanently to TTC thread!! Hard going though. How are you getting on?

Bonkerz, where are you with the test??? Think we are all going to panic on next BFP - need a thread to keep us all on track I think!!

xxx

Bonkerz · 24/02/2005 07:43

Hi all, Have just had a terrible night. Am feeling really queasy and the last time i felt like this was back in november and i was pregnant! its 4 weeks yesterday that i had the operation and still no af.

Am terrified that im pregnant, dh says test today but not sure it will show anything.

Am going to test in a bit and will let you know. Do you think i could have ovulated without having af?

Bella23 · 24/02/2005 09:54

Bonkerz - try and keep calm (hard I know. First AF after ERPC is usually late but perhaps for piece of mind you could do a test to find out one way or the other. In fact if it was me I wouldn't be able to not test!
Fingers crossed for you, let us know

Bonkerz · 24/02/2005 10:43

well had BFN which is what i expected. Now have really bad diarrhea so believe im ill!! Trust today to be the longest day with 3 babies to mind and they are all grumpy and crying!!

Bella23 · 24/02/2005 10:50

Sorry Bonkerz to hear that.
The rest of us seemed to view a BFN after the op as a sign that our bodies aren't ready yet and once AF arrived we were all a little relieved that everything was back in working order.
I hope you feel better soon with the tummy prob xx

Original poster
dramaqueen72 · 24/02/2005 14:33

bonkerz, sorry its a bfn. still at least, as bella said, its a sign everything is working as it should be right? ((hugs)) for being poorly. hope youre better soon. af after the op can be late, or early or bang on time, it comes with no rules (bloody thing!!) but i hope it shows soon and puts your mind at rest properly. yes by the way, you (nine times outa ten) O before you have af, so when af shows its a sign you did O, a couple of weeks beforehand.

OP posts:
george32 · 24/02/2005 16:18

Oh Bonkerz, I'm so sorry. I guess all of our cycles are messed up at the moment. Hope your tummy is feeling a bit better now.
Sending you {{{{{hugs}}}} xx

girlfromip · 25/02/2005 10:24

bonkerz, thinking of you and hope you're feeling better! That's serious childcare for you yesterday - did it go ok?
I still have af with a vengeance but it's all leaving me pretty indifferent. I feel as if I want to go through one whole clear month before trying, the whole process is tinged with grimness for me at the moment and left me pretty sour. But have huge respect for the sisters who forge ahead on the ttc thread!
Take care all. We might go to my mil and fil for the w/end if the weather is ok tonight - bliss............... oh to be looked after by a woman who is in full command of her own environment!
Hope everyone is well

george32 · 25/02/2005 11:40

Hi Girl, sorry you are still finding things tough going. I find the process is a bit bitter/sweet now as the fear of a similar thing happening again is always there in mind as well as the thrill of wanting to be p/g again.

Take your time, be good to yourself & you'll know when you are ready again.

Bonkerz / Teatime - hope you are both feeling better today.

girlfromip · 25/02/2005 14:23

thanks george! actually am not too bad, feeling pretty 'up' actually (apart from a friend's newborn daughter making me a little blue off and on) it's just I'm not ready to ttc yet and that part of me is going really slowly. But spirits are pretty high in other respects . Hope everyone has a good w/end.

TeaTime · 25/02/2005 17:02

Hi all, just a quickie before the work network goes down for an overhaul. Glad it's the weekend!! No more snow here but really cold so I'll keep putting stuff out for the birdies...

Saw my student who is pregnant today - missed her in class last week and apparently she'd been bleeding the day before and daren't come in, YIKES... However it was only for a couple of days without pain and she seems fine now apart from the fact that she's gone from 50 kilos to 46!! She's been referred to a specialist. I feel quite clucky about her - she's GOT to be alright. She's 13 weeks now so past the worst I hope.

OK must dash as deadline is 5pm - more later...

Bella23 · 25/02/2005 18:02

Teatime - good to hear from you.

Bonkerz · 25/02/2005 20:39

hi all, well went to docs today and hes taken some blood just to make sure im not pregnant as i have a severe bug which has left me unable to eat or drink for 3 days now! Wont get results till monday so will wait till then. He asked me,after feeling my tummy, how many weeks pregnant i was!! Very odd. Oh well am off to bed agin as feel rubbish.

Original poster
dramaqueen72 · 25/02/2005 23:28

woah bonkerz! hope the results are whatever you want them to be! could you do a home pg test? gosh how nerveracking for you! hope you feel better soon.
teatime, good to see you here. hope that student is okay now? we're all thinking of her too
Girl i totally totally understand you being 100% okay in everyway but ttc. thats fine, i DO hope you join in ttc soon, cause i'd love to take this rollercoaster with you too, but as long as you check in and chat with us, thats good enough for now. hows everyone at home better now?
I'm bored and AWAKE when i should be asleep..its going to kill me tomorrow, but cant help it!! this is the third night like this.....

OP posts:
george32 · 26/02/2005 17:17

Bonkerz, sorry you are still feeling dodgy. Hope you are managing to stay calm about the test results.
Girl & Teatime, hope you are both having good weekends.
{{{{{hugs}}}}} to all

Bella23 · 26/02/2005 18:10

Bonkerz - tough time waiting for results. Will be htinking of you so let us know how you get on.
Hugs

Bonkerz · 26/02/2005 22:37

am feeling better today and have managed to eat a little!! Am sure the test will negative on monday and am fine with that. Fingers crossed that af arrives soon though cos i hate not having one!!
(never thought id say that!)

TeaTime · 27/02/2005 21:04

hi all,
hope everything goes well for you Bonkerz, we all know about that dreadful waiting feeling - whatever the result I hope it comes as a relief.
Girlfromip - hope the weekend of pampering came about.
As for weather, this morning I spoke to my mum who's in Sussex who was watching the snow come down, while we had blazing sun and blue skies here in Warwickshire... not the usual way round!
Hi George, Bella and Hereshoping - hugs back! It's been a pretty good weekend all in all as dh had both days off (quite unusual) so we went out on Saturday as a family and revisited my all time fave pub for child-friendly atmosphere and food (Fox and Grapes near Nuneaton). Actually we took ds there when he was 6 days old (nearly 3 years ago) so it was a nostalgia trip, although the pub has changed inside quite a bit. Food still very good although the hot choc sauce on the profiteroles didn't seem homemade any more as it used to be. Ds was really well behaved so it was quite a joy to have him with us - perhaps the novelty of both of us being there helped! Saw a woman with a perhaps 9 month old baby girl and tried not to stare enviously but she seemed distracted and grumpy with her which reminded me that motherhood in those early months is not all a rosy glow!
thanks for the wishes for my student Dramaqueen - she'll never know just WHY I take such an interest in her well-being! It's also because she's far from home and will have to finish a postgraduate course and dissertation before the baby comes which really makes me feel for her.
thanks hereshoping for the invite to the ttc thread too - I'm lurking there but just don't feel ready to join in for some reason. I suppose it's the 'trying' part of ttc that scares me.
Just come back from the usual Sunday lunch at in-laws, very nice and actually got quite a bit of marking done while ds was entertained in next room so feel it was useful rather than keeping me from more pressing duties! Ds still on best behaviour and charming all in sight (all the in-laws dote on him which helps!!)
Hope it continues tomorrow as HV is visiting his nursery to observe him with other children (the nursery (and we) are worried about his roughness with the little ones, pushing, pulling off chairs, throttling....). Instinctively I think it's a phase and nothing serious to worry about but I'm glad that a professional is going to assess it.
Hope everyone has a good week - will check back when I can.

Bonkerz · 27/02/2005 21:15

teatime are you form nuneaton then?

girlfromip · 27/02/2005 22:24

hello everyone, hope you're ok bonkerz, thinking of you and hope you're continuing to feel better.
Thanks DQ ! You are the don, did you get some more sleep?
Teatime, yes thanks, whole w/end lying about reading, eating, sleeping, one unstrenuous rural walk, no cooking, no cleaning, no laundry - bliss..... and letting someone else play deliriously with ds, a win-win situation, feel v refreshed.
Hello george, bella, hereshoping - hope you had good w/ends too, any news of baking, decorating or anything else very welcome...

girlfromip · 27/02/2005 22:27

had one really bad moment on Saturday shopping for a present for friend's new baby. Suddenly just couldn't look through any more baby clothes and kept being surrounded by prams, just felt really sad for an hour or two but dh was really great and cheered me up.

Bonkerz · 28/02/2005 12:14

test results were negative so im not pregnant which is abit of a relief but i knew anyway! Docs said he would hope i would see an af in the next week if not i have to go back to him!!! Think im over the bug now! Was talking to someone today who i havent seen for a long time and she commented on how good i looked and asked if id lost weight, without thinking i said " yes ive lost a stone since i lost the baby! " WELL that did it then and i found myself crying and blurting out the story all over again! ALSO Dh made a comment last night when we were talking and basically said when you have my baby and i told him ive already had 2 of his babies and got all upset!! bit fragile!

girlfromip · 28/02/2005 13:11

bonkerz, so glad to hear you're feeling better and those unexpected upsets are such a drag aren't they, I had one of those sudden ones on Saturday, it is like someone on this thread said, that it seems like it's one step forward two steps back. Thinking of you and sending ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))