missed miscarriage, just sat here waiting.....

[dramaqueen72]

anyone out there relate to this? this is my second missed m/c, tho i had a baby inbetween. the shock of a diasterous scan still hurts like mad i found out yesterday. i now have to wait a week for a rescan, and then choose how i want ot proceed. either a eprc (d&c), or pills to force m/c, or 'sit and wait' with poss return to surgery. absolutely crap awful choices. i feel so numb and like my life is on hold. still havent told hardly anyone but struggling to day to appear 'normal' and jolly.
bloatella if youre out there......i couldnt find your thread so am wittering away on this one.

DQ I thought great post too
Sorry bonkerz about kids - mine kept randomly bringing up my last mc and talking about the baby that wasnt to be - it was heartbreaking. mine did forget
teatime - try miscarriage what every woman wants to know by Prof Lesley |Reagan .Bang up to date and i think the immune incompatibility is a bit outdated now
girl - glad to hear youre doing ok
Ive just about weaned myself off the due in aug thread - its getting a bit too far into that happy 2nd trimester

thanks hereshoping feeling better. But no no we must back away from aug thread! But I so understand, I have to whizz past it really fast to stop myself stopping and wondering what it must be like just to be there happily burgeoning! !
And I got three phone messages from the community midwife today re my nuchal scan (!) After about 10 phone calls I finally got through to her and managed to shed her as well. It's not her fault of course. It just seems systems not connected to one another. I was having a great day as well and it really made me slump. Oh well, onwards and upwards! But I have had a really good day mostly. dh and me feel v happy which is good. ER coming up..... hope something nice happens tonight??

Morning Ladies.
Ok I shall hold my hands up and admit that I have the odd sneaky peak at the August thread, shame on me! Its like picking a scab, you know its going to hurt but you just can't help it !!
Will make concerted effort to stop I promise.
GFP - an ER fan, fantastic. I am a week ahead on E4 but once you have see tonight's episode I can discuss a plot theory based on something happens in tonight's episode with you - in true geek style!!
Positive energy to you all today

good morning everyone. I want to formally apologise for moaning about my cold on this thread, it is fantastically inappropriate really I'm going to stop it.
So excited about Ellen MacArthur's arrival.
Have been reading with rapt fascination all the threads about how often you wash your sheets/duvets/pillows etc. Amazing. One mner says she buys a new duvet every 6 months - I'm stunned!
Actually borrowed a fertility book from the library and have dipped into it a couple of times!
Still losing a little so feel I need to stay on this thread until I 've got the courage to move on up.
take care all..

good morning everyone. I want to formally apologise for moaning about my cold on this thread, it is fantastically inappropriate really I'm going to stop it.
So excited about Ellen MacArthur's arrival.
Have been reading with rapt fascination all the threads about how often you wash your sheets/duvets/pillows etc. Amazing. One mner says she buys a new duvet every 6 months - I'm stunned!
Actually borrowed a fertility book from the library and have dipped into it a couple of times!
Still losing a little so feel I need to stay on this thread until I 've got the courage to move on up.
take care all..

hey no saying sorry, a bad cold is horrid, you are very much allowed to come here and say so!
dont even want to think about how often i 'should' be changing duvets. its not often in this house!
dh and i argued last night/this morning. hes so bloody frustrating and pig headed, just WONT let me be right or have different opinion sometimes. god hes awful. then he said sorry.but now hes all pissy again and sulking -much like my 13yr old actually. all men are mentally 13 right?
ahem....sorry, just you know.. bloody bloody men.
anyway! how is everyone on this thread? i want to hear youre all okay! teatime? bonkerz? everyone? i shall only worry like heck if you dont post something
hey whqats the fertility book called Girl? i havent got any right now, sometimes i have to stop reading so much info on ttc or i may go mad with the waiting/trying part. and horribly, we are all here because the pg part wasnt the hardest bit for us - its the staying pg i seem to be having trouble with and nothing i read/buy/take/do will help me with that, v sad fact which is loitering around in my head. am i on a downer now or what? so sorry, its the ongoing sulky quarrel thing with dh, put me in a real 'down' funk. sigh. but i love you ladies anyhow. was really trying to be cheery for you...

hey dq thanks for your post! sorry for crying for help across the bows! I totally empathise, can't be too specific because he is incandescent if he thinks I post about him, he thinks it's some kind of act against all moral codes and has not much sense of humour on the subject. I said we don't use our OWN NAMES, but he just thinks I'm on here too much which I can't argue with!!
But I think a mc leaves inevitable conflict between m and f. and it takes a while to unpack, I think it's so natural to fall out a bit, we've found that. But I'm the same, always blue if we've fallen out!
the book is called:'how to stay fertile longer' and has a deranged blissed up breathlessly soft focus blonde woman splayed all over the cover as if she'd found some fabulous new washing powder. Will check the author and let you know tomorrow. [[[[hugs]]]]

GirlfromIp, just curious, where are the threads on washing duvets/sheets/etc??!!

Morning ladies
GFP - you sound a little better, hope the cold is on its way out.
Ok ER - was last night's episode when Abby got some Aids medication for herself so that she could pass it on to a patient? As part of that she had to have an AIDS test. Theory is that in a few months she will learn that she has the virus and I think from Kovac as in an eposode ages ago he ended up sleeping with a prostitute. Thought I would share as could be good theory!
Ok enough geekness.
Bonkerz and teatime - we need to know how you are?

Hi girls - sorry I've left you in limbo too....! Had a chat with nurse on Monday (not the usual one but just as nice) and she immediately offered another scan to my amazement and relief! thought I'd get disapproval that I hadn't believed them last time (it's not that - I DO believe them just I need 150% reassurance after the positive test). So I'm going in for a scan at 12.00 and the option was there to have the op immediately afterwards as an 'emergency' but it would be really awkward (ds at nursery, dh at work, no one to drive me home etc.) so have said earliest would be Friday (dh day off and I can do nothing on Sat). Nurse rang at 8am to give me 'starving times' for today but won't go that route. I think she's hoping for 'closure' too. Would rather the natural route but that just seems so slow and time isn't on my side really.

Chickpea - are you still there? you were also going the natural route - has it happened yet?

I've been back to August thread (glad to see they started a new one) but it feels like a world away. Just interesting to know how those girls are doing as they all felt / feel like friends too. However it's not good for general well being (especially feeling excluded from posting) so I've more or less stopped.

Dh is coming with me for scan before going on late shift, nice that he's so supportive. More later folks.

chicpea the threads re washing bedding are in Parenting 'how often do you wash children's sheets and a thread on duvets/pillows too. Absolutely fascinating reading IMO! I am a proper scuttler and should not be allowed in polite society, some of these women I want to bow down in front of for the godly cleanliness! My pillows are as I type in a queue for the wmachine..... let me know what you think, buying a new duvet every 6 months because of sweat? Amazing! I adore mumsnet.
bella, fab ER hypothesis, gutting but fab. any views on carter eating all the pies?
I hope teatime, bonkerz you are ok, thinking of you and george and all and hope I am not driving you away with my frivolity. I think I am about to jump into the ttc thread but I am still too scared of the secret language and need to learn it before I leap !

Teatime - am so pleased that the nurse is helping you through this, I really hope you get some closure soon. Let us know how you get on, will be thinking of you at 12.
Teatime - a lot of us have have gone down the ERPC route and we've all been fine so if that is the case then we'll be here to help you through it. Definately stay away from the August threas if you can - not good for the spirit.
GFP - we will be waiting for you on the ttc thread.......come on. DQ will fill you in on all the jargon - she's got a degree in it - there ain't nothing that woman doesn't know

hi all soryy havent posted. I read this thread every day and sometimes just find it hard to post as dont want to bring people down. Things are good today! Dh and I still muddling through and trying to plan lots to do with the kids next week. Have found myself getting tearful past few days and no real reason as ive cried so much for my baby its not even that, maybe my first af is coming? House is sparkilng clean as thats how i have occupied my short amount of spare time. Need to go out and get very drunk me thinks!!! Am trying to arrange for bf to come up next weekend and i know i can release with her!

Hope you are all well and sending big hugs to you all. Thanks for being concerned about me but am doing good!

bonkerz, I'm sorry that you hesitate to post for fear of being down, I go through the whole gamut of emotions almost every day so it's always always completely welcome for me to hear that someone else is down too! Thinking of you and I think 'moving on' is unique for each mother on this thread.... Take care and thinking of you.
bella I'm getting closer to coming and you're right about DQ - she's the Don.

oh ladies! a compliment!!! thank you v much, totally undeserved -theres SO much i have no clue about in ttc- but thankyou all the same, had to laugh out loud when you said i know it all, thats just what dh had been saying...in a slightly different context i think! LOL
bonkerz- come and post when ever youre around. up or down we want to be here ffor you. look at me i'm so 'fifty thousand emotions in one day'!! i too think maybe af is around, find myself abit more tearful, and abit more 'thinking about it' than usual. so youre very very normal here. ((hugs)) hope youre friend can make it. sounds good.
Oh teatime. what a day for you. i hope its a straight forward scan, wishing you lots of love and luck. lets us all know how you are doing.
speak soon ladies.

Teatime - let us know how you got on ??

yes, teatime how'd it go?
girl- where are you? feeling better?
bonkerz, hope youre doing okay today

Hope all are well, I'm thinking of you. I'm good thanks, finally starting to feel well today had a really happy afternoon with ds and his little friend and his lf's mum.
dh coming down with lurg, ohmigod.............. is my barrel of sympathy well stocked enough to brave this situation?
Teatime, hope it was ok today.

Hi folks - I snatch these moments to catch up from a busy schedule so sorry that you're sometimes left waiting to know - I'm happy that you care gals - it helps a lot. Well, the scan was no surprise but a relief to see for myself at a stage that I can relate to the first scan of ds (moving hands, legs, little face etc) what I've got is still an indiscriminate blob - obviously not viable. I wasn't made to feel that this was a waste of their time and in all the treatment has been exemplary. Mulled over the options and decided to go for the 'Final Solution' i.e. the op on Friday as waiting for the natural end is taking so long.

The nurse was tremendous trying to fit it in with my teaching (9 - 11.30) but it means that I'll just be on the waiting list for the afternoon, no guarantees they can do me. However it's a much better day than yesterday would have been (she could have got me in as an emergency) as dh has the day off and can do all the driving and ferrying around. I also have the weekend to get over it. I've had individual interviews with students all yesterday and today afternoon and so this means that I can fulfil all my commitments too which makes it more comfortable for me.

Had a dreadful night with ds last night who spilled milk on his bed so had to sleep with us and didn't .... until about 6am. I'm amazed I've stayed awake all day! Anyway looking forward to some quiet time in the hospital to catch up on sleep and read - that'll be novel!!

Colleague who I've confided in (of the FIVE m/cs between sons!!) told me about a time on 4th when she begged for a scan too. It was Ok then but 2 weeks later she m/c-ed. I always feel humble thinking of her terrible 2 years and encouraged too that she made it in the end.

More at the weekend gals - lots of love to all...

Am ok today.
Teatime im sure all will be ok with the op and it is then an end and you can try to move on although i know its not that easy.

Have just booked a week off in August for when my 3rd baby was due so that i can spend time with my family. Have Hols over easter which is also when my 2nd baby would have been due. Im hoping that by concentrating on my family it will make the hurting less. Cant help but worry about how im going to feel when thos all important due dates come round.

Anyway, hoppe you are all ok and sending hugs too.

teatime goodluck
the op does bring some closure but be prepared for massive hormonal crash
bonkerz -that sounds really sensible - ive got 2 due date anniversaries this yr 7 march and 12 aug - havent thought about what to do but should certainly have a quiet moment or 2

Teatime, good to hear from you, glad you have a little clarity now and hope it helps, I'll be thinking of you, take care. DS got in with us at 4.30 am and then wet our bed, yikes......
Bonkerz, I think that sounds just right, to plan those painful dates to be with your loved ones, that makes a lot of sense to me.
Hope everyone else is well.

and how are the ladies here today? youre all very quiet!
hope alls well?

Have taken another step back tonight and feel very fragile. Ds bought home an oreder of books that i made at school about 5 weeks ago. In the order was a baby record book! Have cried so hard that my voice is very hoarse and eyes are very red.

oh poor bonkerz. (((HUGS))). hang on to your book, maybe you can be needing it next year? its always the little things that come back to 'haunt' us isnt it? i'm sorry. please dont cry cause then i will.