Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

Glad to hear everyone’s surgery’s went well. I have been off for three weeks back on Monday and feel really embarrassed about being off. Tried to go back on Monday but was just over whelmed with emotion but feel so guilty for being off!

I have never tracked ovulation before can someone tell me if this is positive or would still be seen as a negative x

Hi @Nicole90134, it’s a bit tricky to be certain but it looks like an almost peak to me. Maybe try at different points throughout the day to be sure?

Thank you xx

@Nicole90134 definitely getting there, I’d have sex today and tomorrow based on that. Try the app ‘Premom’ you upload the results and it tells you if it’s peak and when to have sex etc xx

Thank you xx

I hope everyone had a nice bank holiday & managed to enjoy the sun. How are you all doing?

I’m nearly 2wks post finding out about my MMC, and I think about it most minutes of the day. I can carry on & do things with it there in my mind, but sometimes I slip into deeper thoughts about it where my mind runs away with re-living what happened, or thinking too deeply about what will happen in the future.

I feel like so many people around me are pregnant, I guess social media is the worst as each day there seems to be a new announcement.

Just feeling sad today really.

Morning @Figtree11 👋 I'm physically doing really well post surgery and managed to have some nice moments in the sun over the weekend. Had been doing okay emotionally too but faced with being back at work this morning I'm having a bit of a wobble. I'm going to see how the day goes. I don't know whether some of this is hormones though, I just feel a bit all over the place. Are you back at work or still taking some time? I'm hoping work will be a good distraction once I get into it.

How is everyone else?

Hi everyone!
Still need to catch up on all the previous posts. Been away for the weekend with friends, including a friend who is due at the same time I would have been and it was tough.
So much baby talk, so many recounted stories of how she found out, how she told her husband and family, how happy her husband was etc etc etc. And all I kept thinking was how I'll never have that again, miscarriage just seems to rain anxiety down on anything pregnancy related and it's so cruel.

@Figtree11 sorry to hear you're not having a good day. But you're not alone. I'm now 7 weeks post-MC. Some days are easier but there's days when it's all I think about, this weekend in particular I couldn't distract myself from it. Be kind to yourself, it will take time, you're grieving. Consider taking a break from social media if it's too triggering, or hiding those pages that seem to pop up a pregnancy announcement every 5 mins. Also remember it's okay to cry and be sad - currently reminding myself of this!! X

@SErunner im glad you are doing as ok as you can do. I do think the sunshine helps.
I went back to work last week, so only a few days after surgery, but I just needed the distraction. I’ve found it ok actually, I too had a wobble when a colleague who knows what happened asked if i was ok & I had a little cry!
I hope your first day back goes ok. I definitely had fluctuating hormones in the week after

@Loz365 oh gosh that sounds so tough. I can’t escape a pregnant woman at work due the same time as my first one. It is constant baby talk. I really sympathise with you. Agreed, the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after loss is just on another level. Hope you are doing ok today x
And thank you for your kind words - I keep reminding myself these feelings are normal & thats it’s grief. Grief for what I’ve lost physically in my baby & all the hopes and plans for the future and the worry about what my future holds.

@Figtree11 we are both at similar stages I think, it’s about 2.5weeks since I found out and now 2 weeks since surgery. I’m also having up and down days. I tend to be a coper generally and don’t give myself much space which I know I would do if it was my best friend rather than myself going through it. I’ve found work tough but I think it’s because my work is super stressful and pressured, emotionally I have just felt all over the place too. Crying at the drop of a hat, think about it most of the time too. Not sleeping well, etc. I tested on a pound store hpt test yesterday and got a strong line, hopefully that will fade of its own accord and not require any further trips to the dreaded EPU.
I think it just takes time. Last time it helped to start planning the next round of TTC. This time I’ve got to deal with the grief of not having a second child, so I’m expecting it will take longer and be harder. Booking and looking forward to holidays is helping me right now. I am trying to plan in some nice stuff that I couldn’t have done feeling awful from the first trimester or if pregnant. I feel more myself now in my body which is a relief.
Hope everyone has as good a week as possible xx

@CurlyWurly1991 im really sorry you have been struggling too. I have had a couple of little cries today. Yet yesterday I didn’t cry at all.
It will be 2wks on Thursday since my surgery, and I’m not sure why I decided to do a test this morning! There was an obvious line so that made me feel fed up.
Yeah it definitely does take time, but each day just seems to drag doesn’t it. I end up wishing time away.
Ive booked a holiday for September, did lots of research & reading Tripadvisor which kept my evenings busy!
I bought myself a necklace that arrived at the weekend which has the birth flowers of the 2 babies I lost on, so feels nice to have something special to wear.
I really am sorry you’re going through this too, but it’s comforting to know my feelings are normal with you being similar in timeline to me x

@Figtree11 that necklace sounds like such a lovely way to remember your babies. What are their birth flowers? I would love to do something similar, having said I would get a plant I haven’t yet taken any action towards it and I feel like it might just get forgotten, which is the last thing I want.

I think my period has started. Seems really early as only 2 weeks on from surgery but I guess it will be good to kind of start afresh with my cycles and know where things are at.

@CurlyWurly1991 i bought it from a website called Rebecca may jewellery, and was able to buy additional pendants so i have 2 on the chain. The flowers are honeysuckle & chrysanthemum. I wanted something really understated that would only mean something to me really.

That’s good (in a way!) that your period has come. I find it sometimes is sad in a way that it’s arrived, but nice that you can get back to some sort of normal.
Mine took 8wks to come back last time, hoping it won’t be as long this time!

Hi @CurlyWurly1991 i also feel like my period has started today. I’ve started bleeding again along with some mild period like cramping, I’m a little bit worried as it’s only been a week and five days since the physical side of the miscarriage took place. I’ve looked online and it says it should return in 4/6 weeks is this normal or should I ring an EPU? I’ve been tracking my ovulation and Im not sure it peaked but it was certainly darker than it was today. It would be four weeks since the heartbeat stopped and been getting negative pregnancy tests for about a week.

@Nicole90134 Last time it took about 5 weeks for me iirc, this is definitely my period now. If you are worried I’m sure EPU would be able to reassure you. I am a little surprised because I still have a strong pregnancy test, but perhaps there is a little retained product for me. Seems unlikely I had zero bleeding after surgery pretty much. But yeah I’m quite relieved it’s started because it’s hard when you have no idea when to expect it and it catches you out.

I know feel likes it’s the last part then and we can all put it to bed! How are you feeling this morning x

That necklace sounds really lovely xx

yes it’s a bit a of a relief with the period but also very sad and very final. My body is moving on but my mind isn’t quite ready.

I read in your earlier posts you were looking to get a plant but hadn’t quite got round to it yet, I have planted some seeds that will come back year after year. Not specific to the birth month or anything but something that will remind me and they often have seeds and bulbs in b&m or supermarkets if you haven’t got the time to go out and pick a plant yet x

Hello Ladies,

Just wanted to pop on here to say my surgery went well yesterday. I was an absolute wreck in the anaesthetic room but I had the most fabulous team of female theatre staff, anaesthetist and surgeons - absolute girl power - and they truly put my mind at ease. When I came round all I was bothered about was brushing my teeth because I had a nasty taste in my mouth! I had some horrible cramping initially which they gave me morphine for. TMI warning: I didn’t lose much blood at all during surgery but when back on the ward post recovery had an absolute waterfall when I stood up which I think was due to it pooling after lying down for a few hours, nurse said it was quite normal and not to panic. Since then it’s slowed right down to end of period spotting, hopefully it continues that way.

My surgeon, gynaecologist and recovery nurse were all in agreement that I should have a 2 week sick note and insisted strongly that I take it - I’ve already had a week off work and planned to go back on 20/05 as I work for the NHS and my trust has a 10 day paid leave policy for miscarriage. I feel guilty for having an extra week which covers me until 27/05, I almost feel like I’m milking it, but my partner thinks I should take the advice of my medical team.

I hope those of you that have also had surgery recently are recovering well, and all of you that have been through this very testing time are trying to look forward and remain hopeful for the future x

@Loz365 nice to hear from you. The baby chat is so tough isn't it. We've got a few arrivals due soon and I'm expecting some pregnancy announcements over the summer too. It's just so energy sapping.

@Figtree11 your necklace is such a lovely idea. I can very much identify with how you and @CurlyWurly1991 are feeling. I feel so up and down. Work was okay yesterday and it was good to be distracted but I feel wobbly again today. Feels very hormonal.

@CurlyWurly1991 that does seem quick but the doctors I saw said it does vary a lot. Hopefully your body might start to balance out and settle a bit now you're on to a new cycle?

@Nicole90134 if you've been having negative tests that sounds right. My doctors said it can be very variable when it returns. So long as it's nothing abnormal I'm sure it's okay.

I think I might get a special plant for the garden too. I love gardening and find it so therapeutic. I'm finding things very difficult at the moment generally and am appreciating the outdoors a lot. Our daughters nursery have been raising concerns about her behaviour and think she may have ASD, and she is currently severely constipated so we're needing to do a disimpaction regime which is a nightmare as her intake is so restrictive and she refuses anything new/different. It's a lot to deal with at once and I just feel so on edge all the time.

@DogMom62 so sorry we crossed posted. Glad your surgery went well and you're having the time off you need. My bleeding has been very light post surgery, just a little spotting on panty liners. Cramping has also been mild. I went for a run on Sunday which felt a little odd but went again yesterday and today which felt back to normal. Physically I'm feeling almost back to my usual self - hope it's similarly smooth for you. If you work for the NHS you can have 6 months paid leave depending on your length of service. Don't feel guilty at all, take the time you need. Hope you can do some nice enjoyable things later this week.

@DogMom62 agree that you take the time you need. I took a week but really struggled my first week back and should have taken 2 weeks as a minimum.

@SErunner oh that sounds stressful with all that going on. I hope you get support and nursery are doing the right things.

Slightly worried here as my ‘period’ has now become very light, it feels like a period in terms of cramps etc but not the heaviness I would normally get. Bit freaked out as I have heard about Ashermans syndrome and know a kind of phantom period is a symptom. Will see how things go in the next few days and call EPU if I remain worried. I guess a lighter period would be expected after surgery especially so soon after, as the lining has had barely any time to build up.

@SErunner Glad to hear your recovery has been straight forward and you’re feeling more like yourself! Hope to spend some time with extended family this weekend as I’ve limited visits to just our parents the past week, as I couldn’t face pitiful conversations with others. Looking forward to getting my life back, moving house and having some well deserved downtime with my wonderful partner - we desperately need a relaxing break soon!

@CurlyWurly1991 try not to panic about Ashermans, I had a meltdown prior to surgery but was assured time and time again it’s really rare. Several EPU nurses have told me that your first period can be lighter or heavier than usual or just normal, there’s no set standard - I’ve also read this as well online. A phone call to EPU might he a good idea just to put your mind at ease x