Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

I’m so sorry to hear you’ve experienced 2 mmc. Horrible. I know it might not feel like it but time is on your side - wishing you the best!

I could and should definitely improve my overall health.

Can egg quality be tested?

I believe you can only measure the quantity not the quality of eggs but I may be wrong!

Hey everyone, I need to properly catch up on all your messages. Had a quick look and can definitely relate to the feeling angry at my body in particular. Also annoyed because I got a parking ticket the day after I found out about my MC and our house moving process has been ground to a halt because our solicitor is useless!

In the midst of this, I’ve decided on surgery which is booked for Monday. Just been to sign all the consent forms etc and I feel more scared now than I did before. As lovely as the nurse was, she asked if I had any concerns and told her I’m scared of perforation of my uterus or getting Ashermans Syndrome - said she’d never heard of the latter in her 25 years of working at EPU so I had to explain what it was (scarring and intrauterine adhesions which may lead to fertility struggles). Now I know it’s a rare outcome but it stressed me out that she didn’t even know what it was and couldn’t put my mind at rest there and then. They go through that many risks and obviously you have to consent to further surgery should it be required, it just freaked me out so now I’m really worried.

Just want this living nightmare to be over, I really hate my life right now.

I asked my OBGYN about this and she had that none of her patients in her entire career had ended up with ashermans, and it’s very very rare.

I had surgery yesterday under GA and it was scary but smooth. Minimal pain and bleeding.

Wishing you luck and the midwife probably hadn’t heard of it because it’s so rare. I only knew of it due MN and goggle rabbit holes.

@H20202 as long as you're feeling physically okay in yourself I'm sure it's fine to wait until Monday. I hope they are helpful when you do get in contact and as others say it might just be your hormone levels dropping slowly.

@CurlyWurly1991 @Overthinking888 @xxcxdonxx @Figtree11 Yes you're correct that there is no way of testing egg quality. This starts to decline more rapidly from 35 so for those older it is possible this is coming into play in terms of miscarriage, but equally there is with almost all aspects of fertility, a degree of just bad luck. I think my egg quality is coming into play (I am now 35 but had a low AMH age 30). We had our daughter via IVF when I was 31 and despite needing the treatment it was fairly uncomplicated and didn't take long. We did 3 rounds last year when I was 34 and all failed, and now have had this miscarriage. I can't help but think egg quality is a factor.

In terms of improving it, there isn't really anything that has been robustly demonstrated to help. Vitamin D and folic acid are enough and inexpensive, plus a bog standard multi vit if you want to. COQ10 is the one that is always mentioned but the research into it is far from conclusive. If you do want to take it, go for ubiquinol rather than Q10 as this is the active component and better absorbed. Outside of this, a normal healthy diet, keeping BMI in a healthy range, regular physical activity and sticking to guidance on alcohol intake is the only other things to consider. The evidence around alcohol and caffeine is also limited so no need to fully abstain unless you want to. Obviously smoking is a no!

@DogMom62 I'm really sorry for your loss. I have just had my surgery today and if it helps, it has been incredibly straightforwards. Home now, minimal pain or other side effects. The risks you've mentioned are so so tiny, appreciate it's a stressful time but try not to worry. They just have to go through them all with you. My procedure today honestly couldn't have gone more smoothly and I am feeling so relieved it's done. I hope yours goes well on Mon x

Hi @Figtree11 what is coq10? Is it something you can buy yourself x

Another one worried about egg quality, I’ve got PCOS which puts me at a higher risk of miscarriage anyway and my worry is it’s affecting my eggs. However the more I read the more I think it’s likely to just be shit luck, I don’t know if I find that a comfort or not though! I had no problems having my son at 34 and then two MMC since, but I didn’t have any trouble conceiving. I’m just about to turn 37 and I keep repeating the Tommy’s research that egg quality usually only begins deteriorating around 38-40, so in theory we should all be fine 🤞

Yes you can buy it over the counter in Boots etc, or you can buy ubiquinol on Amazon. It's a supplement that aids energy transfer in cells so the theory is it helps egg quality by improving cell health.

As @SErunner says, I bought it from Amazon 😊 No idea if it will do anything, but makes me feel better being proactive

On a positive note, when taking ubiquinol my hair and skin was loads better - bonus side effect 😂

I started taking the ubiquinol this year too and got pregnant quite quickly, no idea how much it helped of course but this was the only change I’d made. Was also recommended the myo-inositol but not started that yet!

@H20202 I'm so sorry you're still getting positive tests. I was in the same position with my previous MMC: discovered 30 October, D&C on 7 November. I was still getting positive tests 3 weeks later and was told to wait a bit longer. I was still testing positive at 4 weeks and unfortunately when I went back to the hospital they confirmed I had a lot of retained tissue. I had to have a second D&C in mid-December. Get yourself to the hospital for a scan (don't let them tell you to wait longer) to find out for sure. If you need another d&c, ask them to scan you during and after the procedure to be sure there's no tissue left, as it turns out that it's not standard procedure to do that!

@Overthinking888 & @SErunner - Glad your surgery went well. How are you feeling today?

As for me, I had my surgery yesterday and it went smoothly but was done late in the afternoon and my blood pressure was low afterwards, so they kept me in hospital overnight. I got out this morning, which was a relief. I finally got my initial screening results today as well, which showed a low risk of Down's syndrome but high risk (1/77, low b-HCG & PAPP-A) for Edwards or Patau. I'll find out for sure in 8-12 weeks when the genetic testing results come back. For some reason the results really upset me, even though I knew what was coming.

After being quite numb to it all since last Friday, I'm feeling low this evening as the realisation that my baby is truly gone sets in. I felt very differently last time: then it was a relief. Funny how our feelings about these things can vary so much.

For those that have surgery today/ recently I hope you are doing ok. It’s so shitty we are in this position.

@Sherw00d glad you are back home now. It was after my surgery that I started feeling low too. I’m a week on & still struggling, but have been back at work which is a distraction. sending hugs to you

@Figtree11 Thanks, and sorry you’ve been feeling down too. I’ll be back at work on Monday and will be trying hard to keep my mind off things as a distraction. It didn’t help today that as soon as she got home from school today, my 6 year old grabbed a couple of baby dolls and announced that she wanted to play mummies & babies with me. I’d been back from the hospital for about 3 hours and was in no way ready for that. I managed to tempt her into doing gymnastics on my bed instead!

@Sherw00d yeah I have been trying hard to push the thoughts away.
Oh I’m sorry that must have been so difficult. 3 days after mine I saw my pregnant neighbour was hanging her baby clothes washing on the line!

Thanks @Sherw00d @Figtree11 @H20202. Surgery this am and home pm. I'm feeling really okay and so relieved. A bit of pain and bleeding but nothing major. Couldn't have gone smoother thankfully. I've got a quiet weekend planned then hoping to be back to work Mon as I think I need some routine back. Emotionally I'm doing okay at the moment, relief is the overwhelming emotion. Aware that might change over coming days but taking each one as it comes.

@Sherw00d I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I think it's very logical each experience will feel different. I can imagine the results were still shocking, it's always hard seeing/hearing things for definite even when you're expecting them. We are also getting a lot of sibling/baby chat from our daughter, largely because most of her friends have baby siblings now I think. It's really tough isn't it. Sending sympathy and hope you can have a nice quiet weekend in the sun, indulging in whatever you need x

Did anyone else completely loose their appetite following the surgery? I was ravenous whilst pregnant when after the baby stopped progressing and now I feel full, sluggish and bloated.

@SErunner really pleased it all went well and you are home… hope you are being well looked after xx

Glad to hear all went as well as possible @SErunner and you have a few days of rest. I’m booked in for next week and really ready to get the physical side of things over with x

I felt like that with work when I went back after my 1st miscarriage, I was signed off for 4 weeks but off for a total of 7 as I had 3 weeks holiday right at the start when I was told there was no longer a heartbeat and it took 3 weeks for me to miscarry. When I went back it was quite clear to everyone I wasn't ok even though only my manager and hr were aware of why I'd been off. A phased return did help then. Maybe you could try that after having a bit more time off? How are you today?

How did your surgery go? I hope you're doing as ok as possible x

I did, I lost 2kg in just the 1st week after my surgery. Its still not fully come back and have to force myself to eat something

@NphysT do you know, it could t have gone smoother and I just feel so relieved it's done. Feeling okay this morning although up very early. Some mild discomfort still but nothing major. I'm not really having much bleeding though - have others experienced this? Is it likely to start at some point or is this a sign I might just not have much?

@xxcxdonxx wishing you well for next week. I can't describe anything other than relief in having it done, I still feel sad, but am so glad the physical aspect is done. Hope yours all goes smoothly,

@H20202 yes I didn't have any appetite yesterday - I suspect it's the effect of the anaesthetic?

Sorry, the appetite one should have been for @Overthinking888!

@H20202 thank you for your well wishes. I am being very well looked after and had a lovely quiet afternoon/evening in the sun at home.

@SErunner im glad all went smoothly. I had very little bleeding too. My appetite has been low since a few days after surgery, I’ve lost about 2 of the kg I put on in pregnancy and have 2 to go. I am one of those who just piles weight on when pregnant. I’m a healthy weight usually!

@NphysT It sounds like things are really tough. I’m glad you are getting some space from work. I had three days off and then returned this week just gone. My work is high pressure , stressful and emotive and it really took it out of me this week. I am stressed annd anxious. I take valerian sometimes in the daytime and just ordered an Vogel stress relief herbal tincture as I feel like I’m stuck in ‘fight or flight’. Sleeping badly doesn’t help.
My manager has been nice about things and trying to reduce my workload a bit, I hope I’ll hear that when I’m back in next week. It’s the emotional side that can really take time and seems to come out of nowhere for me. I have a holiday to look forward to in a few weeks that I am trying to focus on. I hope you are having some little moments where things don’t feel quite as overwhelming throughout your day. It might just be tiny moments where we forget about the situation for a few minutes, hopefully in time it will stop being the first thing I think about when I wake up.