Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@WolfMother326 Have a look at the PROMISE trial and the PRISM trial - there’s good info on Tommy’s website. Basically, PROMISE trial showed no value in giving progesterone for previous MC. PRISM showed that it can help if there is bleeding in a subsequent pregnancy (after previous MC). So in your case there’s no evidence it could help, but I guess the technician is trying to give you something to do. It’s up to you if you pursue that.

I’m not sure it’s entirely true they’d require a scan first - I had bleeding on day of BFP and was giving a month’s script, with a scan later to check placement.

Thanks @CluelessInLondon and @Oxalis00 - it's such a tricky thing to decide. I might get the prescription but think on it, as we will be away for 3 weeks and I can't really go get it while abroad. Also, I don't know if we'll try again if this pregnancy doesn't work out (we had a talk about this, as we already have 1 and are both feeling like it's been all consuming) - so maybe want to do everything I can to succeed. Tough choice, as I don't like to fib. I did have some spotting over the weekend, I think it was implantation though.

Have you told EPU/GP about the spotting? I’d say that’s worth a conversation and might swing the situation into being worth a shot at the progesterone.

I know what you mean about thinking about whether to call it a day on trying if this one doesn’t work out. It’s a really big, sad, scary thought, but the consuming nature of TTC and the anxiety of early pregnancy is so much... But that’s a conversation for another day. For now, good luck x

Thanks @Oxalis00 - your reply just made me feel teary eyed. It's all very hard and such a rollercoaster. I also am about to turn 40. I know a lot of women have babies after that point, and that's not the issue - its more that I want to move on from this uncertainy and I feel like it's been consuming me for years (we had a very hard time conceiving my first, a difficult pregnance and birth, recovery). I so hope this works out, because I'm not sure I want to keep ttc.

I appreciate the suggestion to call GP and EPU - I think I'll do it today.

Yes if you’ve had any spotting I’d talk to EPU, and especially as you’re going away would be great to have a supply. I know what you mean about TTC being gruelling, we had to do IVF for our second and if this one doesn’t work out I think that will be it for us, it’s so stressful and all consuming

Just know you’re not alone @WolfMother326 - I’m also conscious of getting older and hate all the time I’ve lost to MC and TTC. But for now, we are where we are - and we go on one day at a time. Good luck with talking to a medic today, I hope you get reassurance and maybe a plan x

Thanks @Oxalis00 and @warmbutteredtoast. I just rang the EPU and they are going to see me on Tuesday evening (they were all booked up, which is really worrying for people having more urgent problems). The woman on the phone said they will prescribe me progesterone when I come because if I had a previous MC and I have even what seems to be implantation bleeding they prefer to do that. I'm really glad I called, thanks for the encouragement.

@WolfMother326 That's great! Well done for ringing, wishing you no more spotting and a zero drama, utterly boring pregnancy ☺️

@WolfMother326 sometimes it helps just to know you have that appointment booked. Your post about thinking to end TTC really resonates with me - 37, DH 46 and currently having a MMC (would be around 8+3 now I think). We have an older child and have fought many battles to get here, part of me feels relief at the idea of calling a day on TTC. But then it is so sad too. It is a decision for another day, anyway. I know some people find relief in just TTC more casually and stopping contraception but I think I would find that more stressful. I just want to have a sense about what the next few years will be like, what I can plan, etc. I guess life gets in the way of plans though, doesn’t it.

@WolfMother326 Glad you have spoken to them and got the appointment booked - fingers crossed it goes well and gives you the reassurance you need. I think it's really brave to start confronting the reality of what life might look like if you decided to stop TTC - like you say, it's so all-consuming and in many ways it's not enjoyable at all. I do think the constant focus on what might or could be can get in the way of enjoying the life that you have. But I really hope this pregnancy progresses as it should for you and it's not a decision that you need to make. ❤

Hi all.. not sure where to go. Just waiting for a scan my EPU booked as I had some spotting last night. Should be 9+1. I have a feeling of doom. 😔

@SnookyPook Oh that's really worrying, I'm sorry you're going through this after everything over the last few months - but you have to remind yourself that spotting can happen randomly in pregnancy and it might not mean anything at all is wrong. Are they scanning you today?

@CluelessInLondon yes thankfully they reacted really quickly. I'm literally in the waiting room so should be getting scanned very soon. 😬 So envious of people who can go in excitedly to scans 😔

@SnookyPook I can feel the worry and heaviness in your post. Totally understandable. I will be you tomorrow, getting a (first) scan at what should be 6+6 after some bleeding and two previous MC, and full of dread… Here’s what I’m telling myself: feelings are not facts; and I can cope with whatever happens. Maybe not very positive but it’s all I can manage for me right now. I hope you get more reassurance today x

@Oxalis00 thank you and best of luck for tomorrow. It's horrible how previous loss robs us of the joyful anticipation of pregnancy! Hopefully you will get the reassurance you need too 💕

@SnookyPook That's good that you've been able to get in quickly - keeping everything crossed for you.

@Oxalis00 Good luck for your scan tomorrow.

Sending love and thoughts @SnookyPook i hope the scan brings you positive news.

you too for tomorrow @Oxalis00

Thanks so much for your support ladies. There is a heartbeat and pregnancy still looking good 🙏🏼💕 Still measuring a week behind my dates but in-line with the previous scan so they weren't worried at all. Most likely late ovulation/implantation - especially as it was on the back of my previous loss and I hadn't been tracking.

They couldn't see an obvious cause for the spotting but I'm just awaiting their decision on prescribing progesterone. Sonographer seemed to think it wouldn't be an issue at all given my loss history and this little bleed. So hopefully that will be positive.

Thank you so much for the well-wishes ❤️

That’s great news @SnookyPook - continued growth from previous scan is an excellent sign. Plenty of reason to hope and have faith! (Though I know how hard that can be.) Keep us posted :)

And thanks so much @CluelessInLondon and @Bey for your kind words about my scan tomorrow. I daren’t really believe I’m pregnant yet so we’ll see. I’ll let you all know what happens!

What a relief @SnookyPook I am so happy for you that everything is looking good in there xx

@SnookyPook That's great news, you must be so relieved. If everything is in line with your last scan then hopefully that gives you some comfort and reassurance, and I'm sure there'll be no issue with getting the progesterone. Fingers crossed that you have a trouble-free run to your next scan - are you expecting to have any more before 12 weeks?

@CluelessInLondon they could see what a state I have as in and immediately offered another in two weeks time. So hopefully that will be a nice stepping stone to the 12-week one 🙏🏼

Hi all,

Wondering if one of you may be able to help offer some advice.

I found out on the 21st December I had a missed miscarriage 2 days after my 12 week scan due to a referral to fetal medicine. I opted for the surgical management as baby is measuring 12 weeks + 1 day and didn't want to go through the pain and seeing the baby. Hospital told me they weren't able to offer me the surgical management due to being past 12 weeks and told me to self refer to bpas.

Had an appointment with them the following day and they said they need to confirm some details from my gp surgery. Got a call last Friday saying gp surgery sent them an email saying they need my consent so went straight away to sign this and asked if the details could be sent through urgently. Called yesterday to be told they hadn't done it and earliest was Thursday but they will see what they can do. Called again a few hours later to be told that it was with the Dr's but they have a 30day turn around.

I made a Dr's appointment today and the Dr said the details would be passed to bpas today so just waiting to hear back from bpas on when they can give me an appointment for the surgery. I am still experiencing pregnancy symptoms and no sign of this happening naturally.

Is this normal? To wait this long for treatment for what is quite literally the worst thing I have ever gone through. Is there any way I can get treatment sooner? I feel as though I am stuck in this place and will never be able to move on and it makes me so sad that I want to move on but I mentally cannot take any more. I have barely left the house since the 21st as I'm afraid it will either happen naturally when I'm out or I'm waiting for them to call me about my appointment.

Sorry, didn't realise how long this was

@NphysT I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know if that's normal but it sounds cruel. I was only 8 weeks but was given the run around and had to push quite hard to get in for a surgical management. I hope things get better soon and they help you. So sorry for your loss.

Thank you everyone for sharing in my feelings. I am going to try to stay hopeful with this one and keep the what if thoughts at bay. Its good to know this group is here if I need it to consider my options about ttc in the future ❤️