Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@ByLivelyDreamer yes, wishing us lots of luck. Always here if you want a chat!

Really struggling today. Had awful dreams and woke up just feeling so empty and like I’ll never be happy again. Cant stop thinking what if. We would be having our 12 week scan on Thursday and I still can’t believe I’m here instead 💔

@ByLivelyDreamer I am so sorry for what you are feeling. It's so hard and I can very much relate. Sending hugs. It will get better, or at the very least you start to carry the feelings better. I spent a lot of time listening to The Worst Girl Gang Ever podcast in the first couple of weeks, which helped me feel a little less alone. I also found that playing board games with my partner really helped my take my mind off things in a way that reading/TV/crafts didn't. It's not for everyone.

More than anything though, I hear you - this is just completely shit and there's not much else to say. Hope you manage to get some respite today ❤️

@Orlahoping thank you. I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone, it’s beyond cruel x

@ByLivelyDreamer it really is. 💔

@ByLivelyDreamer I would have been having my 12 week scan on Thursday as well, a day we'd been counting down to excitedly I'm now dreading.

Thanks for all your lovely comments yesterday guys. I'm going to ring EPU on Monday and see if they can scan me earlier than the 2 weeks since my last one. I just want it over with now and by the time of my next scan it will have been 3 weeks of knowing the pregnancy isn't viable and that's before they even do anything to help my body to move it along.

Big love to everyone struggling.

Hi all,

i am very new to all this, i am 26y/o i got pregnant this year in January with my first baby as expected i was over the moon and all was well but then 11+2weeks i started bleeding and i panicked and then 111 booked an early scan with epu 2 days after which showed my baby stopped developing long before and that my sac is empty and i am having a miscarriage as it was very hard physically (pain was unbearable that i ended up in hospital) its harder mentally to deal with it and i started bleeding on 19th march 2024, and today23rd march bleeding is there but pain has almost gone
just to add: i am having natural miscarriage at home as doctors wont do it at the hospital
as i an very anxious and going through alot of thoughts just wanted to know how long would it take for me to get pregnant again?
i mean does anyone has any such experience that can help
thanks in advance

@Faz19 im sorry you are going through this, it sounds really difficult. Did the EPU give any advice about when they would see you again? They will likely scan you again at some point to ensure everything has passed naturally. Make sure you seek support if you continue to bleed or are in discomfort.
i had surgical management just over a week ago and like you am anxious to get pregnant again but can’t comment on how quickly that side of things happen for us yet. Most things I have read on here say people got their period back in 4-6 weeks. Some that were tracking ovulation found that they ovulated first so could try to get pregnant before this. It may also depend on how you feel and recover physically and mentally. Wishing you the best, take care x

@ByLivelyDreamer thanks for your message, epu first booked for 4th April on scan day but then when i called again after a day when i passed clots and was having unbearable pain they booked a scan for 28th march.

everyday now, i wakeup to this feeling of emptiness and the day i found out i am pregnant keeps repeating in my head.

i am just lost

@Faz19 I’m so sorry you are also feeling this way. I wish there was something I could say that would make us all feel better but I know from my own experience that there isn’t. Just know that you are not alone in how you feel. Here to message if it helps. I hope you have someone with you that you can lean on x

Anyone else had any luck in accessing counselling etc? I’ve been round the houses trying to find something somewhere, tried all organisations suggested by hospital, plenty of info but no actual counselling or support.

Spoke to GP & referred to NHS talking therapies who have confirmed that there are no services in our area that offer this and as they only offer bereavement support after 6 months there’s nothing they can offer me either. It’s made me so angry, upset and let down. I just feel invisible and like no one cares.

Hi all. Unfortunately new here.
In the midst of a miscarriage at 10+4. My first pregnancy. It’s been emotional rollercoaster - we were trying but when I got my positive I had a mini mental collapse and considered termination , diagnosed as perinatal depression (I posted on here at the time and found much support). Fast forward and I’d finally come to accept and be happy about it all then boom. Spotting and passing clots but fairly light 3 days ago on and off. Was told to monitor. Then tonight , cramps and I knew what was coming. Currently just Shuffling to toilet every 10 mins and hoping it passes quickly. Sigh.
love to all who are going through it.

Hi Lemonhead,
i can feel what you are going through had similar experience at 11+2weeks. I so wanted this baby but unfortunately it didnt end well i passed clots with labour like pain but pain and bleeding has stopped now went for scan on Thursday doctor said that sac and fetal pole is still there so opted for surgery which is on Tuesday now.
i hope everything goes well for you. If pain gets unbearable just call 111 and go to emergency they give gas and morphine which helps alot.
praying for you

Hi all,
I had surgical management two weeks ago. Was told to do a test after 2 weeks, which I did this morning. It's still a fairly visible positive 😞
I'll call EPAU tomorrow as they said to ring if it was still positive after 2 weeks - but am hoping I just need to wait a little longer and it will be negative. Really don't want to have to have treatment again.

Has anyone still had a positive after 2 weeks and then eventually got a negative?
From what I understand this might be quite common?

@JC084 I hope you're doing ok. I was told to test after 3 weeks, I still had a faint positive at two weeks, it wasn't until closer to 3 that it was negative.

Me too, I was still positive at almost three weeks, give it another week, I’m sure all will be fine ❤️

I was also told to wait 3 weeks.
Yesterday at +17 days I was still positive and today at +19 I think if I try really hard I still see a line. I think a digital sensitive test might tell me I'm still positive... But seeing how the line is progressing I'm sure I'll be negative at 3 weeks!
All this to say it's normal to be positive at 2 weeks, I'm not sure why they said otherwise. By the time you reach 3 weeks you should be negative.

Thank you so much everyone. That's what I thought, but just worried as they'd told me to test after 2 weeks. Really don't want to have to go the through the treatment again.
I'll get some more tests and wait until the end of
The week x

Sorry you are going through this @JC084
I was still testing positive after 3 weeks. Gave it another week & it was still positive so I called EPU. I went in for a blood test where my HCG levels were so low it was on the border of being negative on certain tests so they weren’t worried. A week after that it was negative. So over 5 weeks in total for my body to clear the HCG!

@Figtree11 can i ask how soon after did you have your period? Was it before or after the 5 weeks? Will you not have a period until all the hcg has gone? Just wondering thanks x

@Livefreely from the date of my MC to my first period it was 8 weeks. So I must have ovulated not too long after my HCG went down to 0

Thank you @Faz19 , I’m coming out the other side of it all physically now and back to the office today. Mentally I’m feeling fragile now dealing with the practicalities are over. I find it hard to show sadness around family as I just default to being the strong one ‘it doesn’t matter, it’s for the best and it’ll all work out’ etc but in moments alone I feel anxious about the future, all the worries and what ifs that we are all familiar with here.

I am in the same boat
i has surgery yesterday i am happy on one side that i will be able to try again in few weeks but anxious about future. In a day, i feel happy sometimes and some times i feel almost alone even when my husband is here. I dont want to drag him down with me. I am trying to put a smiley face but its just hard sometimes. I feel like crying sometimes and just wanting to be invisible
i hope it passes soon for all is and hopefully we will get good news sooner than later and all of this will be turned to happy moments only ♥️

@Lemonhead88 right at this moment... i am going through "did it really just happen to me" moment

@Faz19 ah I totally understand. I think it’s important to allow yourself the space to have those cries when you can, but distraction and putting some distance between yourself and the MC can also be helpful - for me it has been anyway. I’m an author and trying to get my head back into work has been really difficult but it’s given me something else to focus my energy on which has been cathartic. I hope you feel a little better today - sending you lots of love.