Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

So sorry @UrsulaSings123 that is so rubbish. It must be an especially busy hospital, what a pain. Hope the dinner is okay and you get a decent night's sleep. Hopefully everything goes ahead for you tomorrow.

They asked for permission earlier to bury the 'remains' at a local cemetery. They said they have a ceremony there and did I want to go. Was a bit surprised and upset so I didn't know what to say, so they said they would send me an invite and then if I didn't want to go I didn't have to.

Did any of you get offered this? Did you go?

My partner said not to think about it today but now I'm on my own and I'm looking the cemetery up and thinking about it a lot.

@UrsulaSings123 oh no you poor thing, so a night in hospital and then hopefully tomorrow morning?? Anything nice for dinner?? (I had to walk past the hospital restaurant today when went for my blood test and it smelled like runny mashed potato, overcooked cabbage and gravy)

When I had my appointment last week I had to read and sign a form with what I wanted to happen to the remains. They could either go with up to 10 others for incineration, or I could have them back to make my own arrangements. I went for the first option. I can't imagine that a funeral home is going to take me very seriously if I arrive with a bloody tissue in a plastic bag (I joke,,, but I still feel that at my early stage I don't need anything else for closure of the situation)

Hi all, I hope you are all okay and @UrsulaSings123 the hospital is not too bad.
I had to sign that consent form yesterday. I did consider collecting the remains myself but I just don't want to do that.

I'm going in myself tomorrow for the surgical procedure under GA and I'm really nervous.

My friend has been my saviour and is taking me tomorrow and will look after me afterwards. My ex couldn't handle the pregnancy and ranted at me this morning for not having a normal miscarriage and being in so much pain and expecting support. Which was really not what I needed ever but especially after the last 2 and a half weeks.

Can anyone tell me how they felt afterwards? I've been suffering with physical pain and emotions and I'm just hoping if the physical pain eases afterwards I can at least process some of these crazy emotions.

Sending lots of positive thoughts to everyone x

Thank you. I was having physical pains and bleeding last week to the point I was finding it difficult to walk. I thought it might be passing on its own but I stopped bleeding and the pregnancy sac is still there so I still need the procedure. I am hoping that I will feel physically and emotionally better afterwards as I will be able to look to the future a bit more and my body will go back to normal.

Hope it goes OK tomorrow for you. What a lovely friend you have.

Oh thank you.
it sounds like we've had a really similar experience. The pain has been unbearable at times but I haven't stopped bleeding, I still need the procedure as it hasnt happened enough, I suppose.
I'm sorry for everyone that has gone through this. The pain just seems to make everything so much worse.

I hope they see you early and you are not having to wait for much longer tomorrow. Really hope you feel better. I'll be thinking of you and will check in when I can x

@UrsulaSings123 I had the option of taking the remains which I did. I was apprehensive of what to expect but they were in a lovely wooden box with a wooden butterfly on it. I was so surprised at how nice it was. We buried in the garden and it was lovely. What I would say is that it prolonged the whole thing though as we had to wait about 2 weeks to collect as they send the remains away for testing to make sure everything looks ok. I'm glad we got them in the end but it is something to consider as I was dreading having to go back to the hospital.

@ifididntknowbetter your situation sounds absolutely heartbreaking I'm so sorry you're dealing with a nasty ex as well as all of this. It doesn't seem fair what we have to get through sometimes. That's why women have to deal with all of this, men just wouldn't be able to cope.
Thinking of you, and @UrsulaSings123 tomorrow. The three of us can move on from this sorry situation soon. ❤️

That's really lovely to know, thank you. I'd heard of people burying the remains in the garden. I knew that wasn't something we would do as we are planning on moving in the next couple years and I don't think I'd want to leave it behind.

@californiacooper @ifididntknowbetter I hope it goes smoothly for you both today.

Still no time for me yet. Bet you both end up seen before me! It's a very stupid way they do it here. I'm not medically unwell and shouldn't be taking up a bed in hospital for this length of time!

@UrsulaSings123 it's crazy isn't it. I've been back to the hospital today to re-do my blood test which needs doing before the surgery- it's the one that tests my blood group for if I need a transfusion. The same hospital did this test a few weeks ago at my booking appointment. I don't think my blood group is going to change. Also I asked what was wrong with the one I did yesterday- my DOB was written in "today's date" and the date written in the DOB bit. Surely it only takes logical thinking to realise the error and that there's nothing wrong with the sample. But I had to go back, take up a slot in pathology, someone take the sample using needles and tubes, and the lab having to process it, I'm
Sure that the whole NHS over the year could save quite a bit if they didn't keep retesting blood groups. Anyway..... being cross about my extra journey has taken my mind off later on. So perhaps a blessing in disguise! good luck for later 💐

@californiacooper thanks for your message. I can't believe you've had to go back again for another blood test. I feel like I've spent too much time here already! Good that it helped you fill that time though! I spent an hour pacing before coming here.

Have been sitting in the waiting room since 11.

@UrsulaSings123 sorry you are still waiting, keeping everything crossed.

Hopefully we'll all feel physically better later, thinking of you both and anyone else going through the same x

Best of luck today @UrsulaSings123 @ifididntknowbetter @californiacooper

Thinking of you all today x

Hi everyone. Update from me, I just got home from the hospital, apparently everything went well, everyone was really nice, I was on my own and a bit sad and they were all very supportive which was kind.
Feel a bit groggy from the anaesthetic and pain medications but to be expected, not bleeding too much pain is manageable.

How are you doing, @UrsulaSings123 @ifididntknowbetter ??? 💐

Just got back to the ward. Feeling really quite sore. They prescribed me oral morphine so have asked for some of that. Hoping to be able to go home this evening.

Glad you're feeling OK and back home @californiacooper

Hope you're doing OK @ifididntknowbetter

@UrsulaSings123 Oh good, so glad to hear you're okay, what a long ordeal for you I was thinking about you earlier and hoping you had finally had your surgery :( do you think you'll be going home today?
I had some oramorph and codeine earlier so I hope that will be enough for tonight and I'll only need paracetamol/ibuprofen tomorrow.
I'm tucked up on the sofa watching crufts with a hot water bottle and DH is making macaroni cheese 🥰

Yes I really hope so. I hope they don't say oh its too late now the Dr has gone home or something. Macaroni cheese was one of the options for my dinner tonight too. Nice comfort food. Sounds like you're being looked after well.

@UrsulaSings123 and @californiacooper
So pleased you are both okay.

I am back at my friends now. I felt better than I thought i would but was in a lot of pain afterwards, so had some codeine before I left. I've eaten and am on the sofa.

Hope you both get some sleep tonight.

Lol I knew you both would be back home before me @californiacooper @ifididntknowbetter they do seem to long things out here.

They said if I had oramorph I wouldn't be able to go home so just had some codeine as well. Hopefully be gone in a couple of hours!

@UrsulaSings123 keeping everything crossed for you. They gave me a packet of dyhydracodeine to take home...maybe they could give you some too.
I hope you are at home with a hot water bottle very soon x

I had oramorph at 4.30, and was allowed home - got picked up at about 6.15 but they had me getting dressed (by myself with a bloody pad wedged between me that was interesting when I was dizzy 🤣) from about 5.45 ish....
funny how it's so different in different areas isn't it.
Unfortunately wasn't given anything to go home with just told to take paracetamol and ibuprofen.
Fingers crossed you'll be allowed to go soon but if not hope you can sleep. Are you in day surgery or back into a ward??

@ifididntknowbetter so glad you're out and resting, same here hot bottle food and the sofa... shortly bed I think !

I don't think they'll give me anything to take home either. Back on the same gynaecology ward I've been on the whole time. All dressed and ready to go save the cannula still in so here's hoping!

@UrsulaSings123 that's promising!! Let's hope they don't come and turn all the lights off for bed time before you can get out!!! Have they called your partner to come and get you yet??