Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@nearly8 the waiting is the worst isn’t it! Sometimes I think 3 months since the MC doesn’t seem that long, but it feel like a lifetime ago now. Even though i can remember it like yesterday.

I had been similar to you for a while & didn’t do a test. As it’s nice to live with that bit of hope there that it could be good news. I really hope you get some good news soon.

I’ve not had many plans this weekend, so that hasn’t helped with my mood really. Have you?

Hi everyone.. how are you doing this weekend? Any updates? I have none, no symptoms, no bleeding, so hopefully things are looking like they are going to stay put until Thursday. I've stopped spontaneously crying now, which is a bonus. I'm just so sad and pissed off that it couldn't all be okay. But, what can I do?? Apparently nothing. I spent yesterday baking (a totally new activity for me but it took my mind of things), and helping DH with some DIY today.
Hope you are all okay 💐

@californiacooper I'm happy you've stopped spontaneously crying sweet, and I love baking. Have loved doing it since I was a kid, glad you're finding some joy in it too. Fingers crossed 🤞 for you for Thursday and that it all goes as it should. I haven't had AF yet since MC on 31/01, had been putting off doing a test but finally caved in today and it was negative so at least I'm sure of one thing!! Keep getting cramps on and off but then nothing. Another new experience following MC as it wasn't like this the other two times. Ive been working all weekend so not really done much and only got Tuesday off this week. Keeps my mind busy though which is pulling me through each day. Look after yourself Hun and please keep me updated 💐💐

@Figtree11 I replied to you in my last post but it disappeared!! As you can see above I've spent all weekend working so no, nothing nice planned and like you it's not got me in the greatest mood but It keeps me busy at least. Again as above I caved in and did a test but BFN for me. But at least it got rid of the doubts. Hope you're doing ok, keep me updated 💐💐

@ForestWren @jellyfish2 hope you're both ok 💐💐

@californiacooper it's so tough, I've had the exact same feelings being pissed off etc. Had a couple of times where I've randomly cried, I'm so surprised as I thought I'd have stopped by now.

@nearly8 I'm doing ok thanks for asking. I've been having cramps too on and off, feel like it's my period but nothing has happened and before my MC I only ever got cramps as my period was arriving so I'm not sure what's going on. We've only dtd once since my surgery so I highly highly doubt I'm pregnant and not convinced I've ovulated yet anyway. Wish my period would just arrive! How's things with you?

I’m sorry it was a BFN @nearly8 i know how disappointing it is.

I do have some good news myself today, which I am weary of sharing as I know it can be difficult to read about, but you have all been so lovely & supportive of me & picked me up when I’m feeling down.
I got a BFP today - still early days but trying to keep positive.

I won’t post anymore about it on the thread, but wanted you to know in case I go quiet on here.

I am really hoping you are all ok, and that good news comes to you all in the coming weeks & months

Hi everyone - hope I can join you on this thread. I've read through so many of the old posts here and I can't tell you how helpful it's been - and it's so nice to see how supportive people have been to each other at such a crap time.

@californiacooper I was wondering how you might be getting on - that's good you've had no signs of anything happening, hope it stays that way until your procedure on Thursday. I've ended up booking an MVA for Friday but still in two minds about whether to go through with it, cancel it or postpone it. But the longer this goes on, the harder I am finding it to cope with the expectant management approach.

Kept crying at random today and just feeling so upset and rubbish that we're stuck in limbo waiting for this to be over, only to then have more of a wait to get back to normal cycles and TTC.

For background, I had a missed miscarriage diagnosed at a 7 week private scan. Baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. I would have been 9 weeks this past weekend. No sign of the natural miscarriage happening - no symptoms at all (other than emotional chaos today... but I'm counting that as a normal reaction to a crap mmc situation rather than hormonal).

Thanks to everyone who's written about their experiences getting through this. It's so appreciated.

Congratulations again! Personally I like hearing about BFPs from these groups as it gives me hope that it'll be me soon. Plus you've gone through a lot, it's so nice to hear good news 🩷

Thank you so much @jellyfish2 I know in the early days following my MC I was seeking out good news stories.

@alex42 I’m so sorry you are going through this. I had medical management of my MC - I personally didn’t like the thought of the unknown, and wanted to be able to try & move forward more quickly.
I can sympathise, it took a while for my body to get back to normal. It felt like eternity. Looking back it hasn’t been too long, but it feels like a lifetime when you’re in the thick of it

@californiacooper i hope Thursday goes as well as it can do

@Figtree11 - thanks very much. And congratulations!! Seconding the view that it is so nice to hear good news stories on the other side of miscarriage they give me hope!

@alex42 I've been hopping on and off different threads and have got confused who I've met where tbh! I glad you have another option now, even if it just puts your mind at ease a bit more for this week that there's an end in sight. For me, it can't come soon enough I wish it had been done already. I'm sad to say goodbye to my baby... but it's not really is it, it's a clot of cells that is getting in the way of me being able to grow my baby. I just really really hope it doesn't take too long to sort itself out after.

Still no sign, although I had the mother of all migraines most of last night, which could be hormone crashing. My boobs are now back to their pre pregnancy almost B, and don't hurt at all. Not bloated, just fat from all the cake and chocolate I've been eating to console myself.

@jellyfish2 @nearly8 I did randomly break down in tears when I was on my own yesterday, and I've sprouted my first two grey hairs (not too bad for nearly 37, but it made me wonder if my body is now far too old to consider harbouring a child:()

@Figtree11 oh my godddddd congratulations! (Please remind me when did you have your mc? And were you waiting for your period to arrive to start TTC and you conceived first time??) oh wonderful news and gives me some hope! When I was feeling so hopeless. ❤️

Thanks so much, you have both been so lovely @alex42 @californiacooper
My MC was in November - it took me 8 weeks to get a period. I’ve just had the 1, so I think I must have ovulated about 4/5 weeks after that period.
As soon as I got a negative test I actively TTC, I wasn’t waiting for a period but it arrived anyway.

I was worried about my body not settling into any sort of normal routine, but this has made me realise that there is no normal in the TTC journey!

Hi all - and congrats @Figtree11 that’s wonderful! So pleased for you. I’m a bit in shock as I’ve just got at positive hpt this morning too at 10dpo, after my MC in January. As figtree said I hope that’s ok to share here as I know it can either be heartening or painful to read.

Feeling a mixture of excited and terrified. Worried I haven’t prepared my body enough etc. but what will be will be. Sending lots of love to everyone.

@ForestWren congratulations to you! I understand the anxiety, just take each day at a time. 🩷

I am going in for surgical management tomorrow and I am scared about it. I hate needles and being in that horrible ward. My partner will be with me during the day but he has to go home to look after our son in the evening and as its classed as emergency surgery apparently I could go down any time until late in the evening. I really am having to put my big girl pants on 😥

@UrsulaSings123 hope it goes ok, I felt exactly the same but it was fine. Everyone was so lovely and reassuring.

@UrsulaSings123 you'll be absolutely fine my love, it will all be alright. What time do you have to be at the hospital? Mine is Thursday but I have to be dropped off at 12.30 so have the morning waiting around :(
DH is going to work from home and take me there in his lunch but he won't be able to wait as it's half an hour away from our home. They said I'd be ready to go about 5 and can wait in the cafe until he can get back... thanks 🤣
I just want this all done now

@californiacooper @UrsulaSings123 I hope both your procedures go okay. The staff were so lovely when I had mine towards the end of Jan ❤️

Thank you. I have to go in at 9am and then just wait until they can see me. They said to pack an overnight bag because I could end up waiting until the next day. Her words were 'you might get lucky and be seen on the day' which makes me think its likely I'll have to stay. I wish I could be booked for a specific slot.

@UrsulaSings123 you will be in safe hands, please don't worry, keep telling yourself that they do these procedures day in and day out and know exactly what they're doing, and know we're all thinking about you! Hopefully you will be lucky and you won't be waiting there all day. I'm sure they will do their best for you and try to fit you in while your partner is there to support you. Best of luck, deep breaths, and hopefully be this time tomorrow you will be well out the other side, recovering and ready to get past this whole sad experience.

@UrsulaSings123 thinking about you this morning lovely, I hope everything went well today and you are resting and recovering ❤️‍🩹

Thanks. I'm still here. No time given yet. My partner is going to have to leave soon so it looks like I will be on my own.

Oh no!!! You've been waiting around all day?? That's a shame! Hopefully they will get you in soon, have you got someone to come and collect you?
I'm literally being dropped off as DH has to work so I'll be hanging around all day on my own too. What did we do before mobile phones eh!

Yeah I've been here since 9. They just came and told me they've had another emergency in so they won't be able to do it today. Going to give me some dinner and I'll stay in and hopefully they can do it tomorrow. I've done weeks of waiting around already to confirm the miscarriage etc so I'm trying to tell myself that one more day is easy to do after weeks of that.

How are you feeling about going in tomorrow?