Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@MrsB2019x oh I am so sorry to see you here xx I was in the Facebook group too but left end of January when I found out. I’m so sorry to hear this, and I’m glad surgery is booked. Were you given a plan if you start to miscarry at home? I was in a a different boat in that I wanted to complete naturally, but I absolutely understand your fear and really hope for you nothing happens until your surgery.
for me I was spotting for 10 days before it was confirmed and the day I had the scan confirming no hb, I started bleeding that night and bled for a week. In all honesty at times it was heavy, and lots of clots and on one day very painful but if it starts, really take it easy and take some painkillers. Sending love xxx

Thank you @ForestWren that’s really good to hear the nurse said that about age 😊. I didn’t worry at all really before. But since the MC I just feel the months creeping by.

Oh @MrsB2019x i am so sorry. It’s just utterly devastating.
I miscarried at home, but that was with medical management so I think it is different to miscarrying naturally with the pains etc but I’m not sure.
I can totally understand why you are having surgery. But in case it does happen at home, as much as it was awful with the pain from medication, I did like being in my own surroundings. I could curl up in my own bed after with a hot water bottle & felt comfort at being at home.
I hope it doesn’t come to this for you though & all goes ok on Wednesday for you x

@MrsB2019x I'm so sorry, I found out at my 12 week scan baby had passed around 10 weeks. I miscarried naturally the next day of all things and it was really straight forward. We were out for lunch and I had a couple of bad cramps, and then I basically sat on the toilet for about 4 hours but with no pain whilst everything came out.

My only pain was a numb bum! It can vary so wildly but it's not always painful ❤️

So so sorry @MrsB2019x - agree with @ThelastRolo20 I also miscarried naturally at home and it was fine. Obviously everyone is different, and it varies depending on progression I imagine but it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. Crucially my body just knew what to do. For me it was all over in a few hours. I only needed paracetamol, ibruprofen and a hot water bottle.

@ForestWren oooh that's some move in the right direction... And some morning fruity. High five to you sweetie!! I have a good feeling about this one my darling do keep me posted. Portugal will be a nice place to relax in the first few weeks!! I do get a tiny tiny bit of time to let go and I enjoy it to the max. I suppose you could say I have a lot of grit, my DH calls me a nightmare 🤣🤣 if he had to sum me up in a sentence he says it would be 'i can do it myself ' 🤣🤣🤣 are you doing anything nice for the weekend? And yes no more cramps.vwho knows maybe AF is on the way. Maybe my wreckless fruity sessions have been 'fruitful' 🤣🤣🤣 only time will tell I suppose.

@MrsB2019x awwww sweet I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so shitty isn't it?

I've had three MCs and I handled them all at home. I wouldn't say it's anything to be scared of the only nervousness comes from the catching you off guard. What I did after my 1st (off guard is an understatement with that one) was stock up on maternity pads (I know it's ironic but they really are the best absorbency wise) and just wear one all the time. Then when ( or if in your case) it comes you won't have the added stress of leaking. Not gonna lie I was strapped up with two of those bad boys at a time just to be fully prepped. In terms of when the worst kicks in it's very heavy bleeding and mild-heavy cramping but I wouldn't say really really painful. Well not for me anyway. I managed them without pain relief and the time of the worst bit varied from about 5-10 hours. Once that bit is over you can expect mid flow AF type bleeding and mild to no cramping for the rest of the time. The rest of the bleeding varied in time for me too from 5 days to nearly 3 weeks. Once bleeding stops do a test. If it still shows positive leave a few days and try again. Of course if you are worried whilst this is going on at any point then call EPU, A&E, GP and get whatever help and support you need. Hope this helps a little. Be kind to yourself sweet and take as much time as you need to 💐💐

@jellyfish2 I hope today was ok for you. Sending you massive hugs 🤗

Thank you ladies you’re all so lovely 🥹 good to know it’s not always super painful, my cramps are ramping up tonight but they’re just like bad period cramps, they’re manageable.

@Lemonyfire Sucks leaving due date groups doesn’t it 😔 They have all been so lovely though.
EPU didn’t give me a plan as such, they just said to call them if I think I have miscarried at home. So I guess that’s kind of a plan, kind of not?!

@MrsB2019x I also didn’t get a plan- just a repeat scan a week later, by which point it has completed. I should have added a bit more to my previous message- there was one day that was very painful but the rest was manageable , and in my googling people had very different experience, I had a previous miscarriage where I didn’t have a lot of pain or bleeding, so I really think it varies xxxx

Thanks @Lemonyfire, cramps have calmed down a lot today so I’m hoping it was just residual pains from the scan probe

@MrsB2019x in my experience once the mc cramps start they ramp up, I always got some cramps after an internal ultrasound that was not related to mc ( other pregnancies) so I really hope that’s the case for you too xxxx

Thank you @Lemonyfire, cramping a bit again this afternoon, it’s all very stop/start right now!

How is everyone else doing? 💐

Ladies, did you feel like a ‘pop’ sensation in your uterus? I was just sitting on the sofa and felt a painful pop, came to the bathroom and I’m bleeding a lot. Like, it’s coming in small gushes. Is this the start do you think? :(

Medical management didn't work first time round so went back to EPU and given a second set of tablets plus more tablets to stop progesterone production.

Painful cramps once again but nothing passing so far, though it has only been a couple of hours.

My baby stopped growing over six weeks ago. This is torture. I just want this over with.

@MrsB2019x it may well be ❤️ look after yourself

@bouncingblob I'm so sorry, it's horrible when we just want it over with so we can focus on recovery. Is it worth getting another scan booked in for a day or two and looking at surgery?

Sat in A&E now, ideal 🥲 I had a lot of blood loss so I’ve been sent in. I’m not sure whether everything is complete or not. I did pass a mass about the size of a small lime so I’m wondering whether that was it. I still have dull cramps though. Is it normal to still be cramping or could there be more to come? Nobody prepared me for this in case it happened :(

That’s so frustrating @bouncingblob I hope things get moving for you soon x

@MrsB2019x I’m so sorry- I also felt very unprepared, I think it’s normal to keep cramping even if everything has passed but I’m glad you’re going to be checked out, especially with a lot of blood loss

@bouncingblob I’m so sorry you’ve had all that intervention and waiting- I really hope things happen for you soon, and gently. Sending thoughts xx

@Lemonyfire It’s awful isn’t it, there needs to be some proper resources to tell you what is normal and what isn’t, something realistic but not scary. Gynae won’t see me because my heart rate is too high so there’s no one to even really ask! 👎

@bouncingblob with my most recent MC I got severe cramping about 5 days before the bleeding whereas with the previous 2 the cramps were hours before the bleeding. I don't think there's a generic answer as symptoms vary even in the same person. I fully understand what you mean about wanting it over though. So sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself 💐💐

@MrsB2019x oh dear sweetie. Could think of better places to spend a Saturday night (maybe not a 12 hour through the night shift like me but you know what I mean). You are in the right place though sweet. Are you still there or have you managed to get home yet? Sending you hugs and keeping fingers crossed 🤞 it's nothing for you to worry about 💐💐

@Lemonyfire @ThelastRolo20 sorry I didn't see your messages yesterday. I'm sorry for your losses. Take care of yourselves 💐💐

@ForestWren @jellyfish2 @Figtree11 how are you doing ladies 🤗🤗

@nearly8 Thank you lovely, nah still here. I’m hoping I get sent home before the Saturday night crowd arrive 😂 I have just had a doctor come round though and they’re pushing for a gynae doctor to come and review me, so we’ll see how long that takes 🥴

@MrsB2019x awww bless you darling. I absolutely loathe hospitals so you have my full sympathy. At least the process has started in terms of getting you the right care. Have they mentioned anything so far about diagnosis or care plan? The waiting is the worst. Did you bring entertainment? I literally bring my whole house to A&E 🤣

@nearly8 Nah just my phone, my bag is full of spare clothes and snacks 😂 I have been moved up to gynae now at least so I’m out of A&E before pubs kick out. No plan that they’ve told me yet but I am hoping that they will either scan me to see if there’s anything left (which would be preferable but doubt it would be done tonight), or at least schedule me in for a scan in the next couple of days 🤞I’m in a waiting room with 3 others though so think it’s gonna be a long evening

@MrsB2019x awww bless you sweet. Well give thanks for small mercys I suppose. Like you say A&E is about to be a shit show so at least you dodged that bullet. From my short experience I don't think they scan out of usual Mon-Fri times (I went 21:30 on a Wednesday and they made me come back in the morning) but at the same time if they deem it serious enough I think they scan there and then. Make sure you lay it on thick regarding your symptoms and the anxiety it's causing and maybe that will push them to scan you rather than making you wait. Keep me updated Hun. I'm working til 6 am so I'll be up!! 💐💐

I’m heading home! 🥳
Didn’t get a scan but I did get in internal with a speculum (FAR from ideal) but doctor was pretty confident I’ve passed everything. They did a pregnancy test and that was negative but I should have been 12+3 today even though baby passed weeks before, so I would have thought hook effect maybe? I’ll take another test in a week and see. But hoping this is the end of it now 🤞

Thank you all for being so lovely!!! Xxx

@MrsB2019x awww I'm glad it wasn't that long for you in the end. No speculum doesn't sound nice but at least you weren't fobbed off. Maybe you should pick up a nice bottle of something on the way home. Or maybe just some chocolate. Take care sweet and get some well deserved rest 💐💐🤗

Thanks for keeping me company last night @nearly8 😘

Hi everyone, looks like this will be my new home for a few weeks.
@MrsB2019x how are you feeling now? Sorry to see you were in hospital most of the night :(
I have a question for those who have had natural or medical MC, did you stay at home or were you able to work? Similarly if you had a surgical management, how soon after can you go back to work? I really need to take as little time away as possible so was hoping to maybe arrange it on a Friday and go back on Monday to give me a few days. I have no symptoms at all yet, funnily enough my boob pain and bloating seems less today, but that could be psychological now I know nothing is happening. I wonder if my body will start the process by itself now my brain knows what's happening. I kind of hope not as then I'll be able to arrange everything more conveniently.
I'm wallowing in self pity in bed today. But I slept about 10 mins last night so fuck it.
Hope you're all doing okay 🌺