Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@ForestWren I was going to say the same as @nearly8 I had a good laugh at that! It definitely is like a military operation even if you try to not make it one! I prefer I in the morning anyway haha.

@ForestWren @jellyfish2 do you think time of day makes a difference? Like how they say HCG picks up better on your first wee. 🤔Never thought about it before

@nearly8 @jellyfish2 glad it made you smile!

My sister had a friend who had two chemicals back to back and her doc said to try in the mornings, they did and they’re now 20 weeks so maybe it can help? I’m never in the mood in the mornings but maybe it’s good to switch it up.

@ForestWren @jellyfish2 right early to bed from now on guys 🤣🤣 although like you @ForestWren I have to be up early for my morning shifts 05:45 but I also work late shifts that end after midnight.... DH won't want waking up that early as he WFH and we home educate so he has no need to wake up that early 🤣🤣Might have to start arranging my shifts a bit better lol. I like having something to focus on and arrange 🤣 DH won't know what's hit him 🤣🤣

@nearly8 I don't know but I too work shifts so it can be difficult. With my last pregnancy (that ended in MC) I remember we dtd after my backshift and also in the morning one of the days as well as at night. We covered all bases haha. I've been lucky to fall pregnant in the first month both times by using ovulation sticks. I'm hoping it's the same next time but I feel like my cycle will be a bit all over the place so not convinced that'll be the case.

@jellyfish2 I'm sure it will be sweet. You're using a more exact science with the sticks than me with just DTD as and when the time arises. Last week was busy for me and DH so if I was ovulating last week I MUST have caught 🤣 doubt it though as bleeding from MC only stopped on 08/02. Was fun though 🤣🤣 I hate being so indecisive with this TTC. Part of me is petrified to try and the other part wants another baby so bad. But then pregnancy brings another batch of worries and anxieties. Can't believe I was so naive in my other pregnancies before MC. Swanning around on cloud 9 - no anxiety waiting for scans. Oh well - really pleased we can take this crappy journey together girls. There WILL be light at the end of this long ass dark tunnel 😘

@nearly8 it's difficult because of what you've been through but if you really want a baby then it'll happen for you I'm sure of it :) it'll be worth all the heartache in the end 🩷 it's nice having this space where everyone can share their experience and thoughts.

@jellyfish2 awww thank you sweet, means a lot for you to be so nice. Yes I think it's so nice to speak to other people who truly understand the crazy feelings and mad thoughts we have. Hugs for you 🤗 please keep me updated on your progress ☺️

@jellyfish2 @ForestWren How are you two lovely ladies today? Hope you're both holding up ok and can find something to smile about today 💐💐

@nearly8 I'm doing ok thanks how are you? I had a bit of a wobble earlier as I phoned the hospital to find out about baby's remains and she phoned back to say I can collect on Friday afternoon. So that will be sad. We're going to bury he/she in the garden and plant some nice flowers there. I'm not sure what they will give us exactly if it's a box or something. I asked if there was anything obvious that was wrong but she said there doesn't seem to be anything on the report so it's unlikely. A good thing I think? Still doesn't answer all the questions though 😔

@jellyfish2 awww bless you my darling. That's a really nice plan you've got there. I hope it helps you to move forward. Well yes its a good thing in one way that nothing was obviously wrong but as you say doesn't really answer any of the questions. I suppose it does give you the green light to go again though - when you're ready of course.

Sending you a massive hug 🤗 sweet

@nearly8 thank you 😘

@jellyfish2 @ForestWren so I don't know if DH subconsciously tuned into our conversation but as I was putting my alarm on snooze at 05:30 this morning he rolls over and starts getting fruity if you know what I mean ... I'm with you @ForestWren it's not hot or steamy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
How are you both feeling today @ForestWren
@jellyfish2
Keep smiling ladies 💐💐

@nearly8 haha this made me laugh! That's what I like to hear. That's probably started your day nicely! I'm not bad thanks, going to the shops today on my own. Can't wait! How are you?

Ha! Good on you @nearly8 ! I just feel like my body is totally disconnected from my brain at that time in the morning!

Are you still in your fertile window? I’m getting really frustrated that I’m still not getting positive opks! We’ve had sex seven times already this cycle as I’m convinced every day it’s just around the corner. We’re knackered! I’ve had EWCM for the last four days and my temp dipped yesterday which I usually get right before ovulation, but the opks are still very low this morning. its starting to get me down!

It’s only cd17 so hopefully it’ll still happen. I thought my cycle was back to normal as it was only two days later than usual right after the MC but maybe not. It has been a stressful month with a family emergency and I’ve been dealing with a bad back (has been dodgy since the MC, anyone else?) so that could have had an effect. Rant over!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow @jellyfish2 - that sounds like a lovely way to commemorate ❤️

@jellyfish2 well let's just say I had a little spring in my step when I bounded into the office at 7am 🤣 hope you enjoy your shopping trip and don't get too wet. and I'm ok today. But shaky emotions wise but I have been for about a year so I suppose you can call it situation normal 🤣🤣
@ForestWren I couldn't tell you if I'm in my fertile window tbh. I don't track ovulation as the one and kmy time I tried it it just stressed me out and got me disappointed. I suppose I'm in my trial and error stage 🤣 I would think I'm not though tbh as bleeding from MC only stopped on the 8th but who knows. Given what's happened recently even if I got a BFP it would fill me more with dread than happiness. Sorry to hear you've had added stress this month I hope things are looking up? I can't really compare on the back situation as I broke my coccyx last year so my back just hurts all the time anyway 🤣🤣 here's another laugh for you I broke it by stepping on the barrel from the 'pop up pirate' game at the bottom of the stairs. Slipped off it and landed straight on my bum smashing my coccyx. Needless to say the game has been banned in our house indefinitely.

Thanks for checking in ladies it's made me smile 😊 have a great day as much as you can 💐💐

@jellyfish2 thinking of you today Hun. Hope you are ok 💐💐

@ForestWren hope you are ok too.

Do either of you have any plans for the weekend? I've got a 14 hour split shift today and a 12 hour through the night shift tomorrow. Oh the joys 🤣🤣🤣 No fruitiness this am 🤣🤣🤣 Absolutely no signs of AF yet but last night I had the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Worse than labour contractions. It worried me a bit and I told myself that if they were still continuing this morning I'd go to A&E on Saturday but I've woke up this morning and they've gone so I'm glad about that.

Have a good day as much as you can 🤗💐💐

Hi all,
I hope you don’t mind me joining. I’m really sorry to read about your experiences with MC.

A bit about me - TTC my first, came off the pill in June, and conceived in September.
Had a MC at 10wks, baby was measuring 8wks. This was towards end of November. Had medical management.
Took over a month to then get a negative test at end of December. Had first period in mid January.

Thats now been over 5 weeks, and nothing since. Having weird symptoms like increase in CM and lightheadness & nausea. But getting BFN on tests. Not tracking ovulation.

I’m 33 this year. Feeling very down about it all, had a little cry to myself this morning.
I am so frustrated with my body. I just wish I knew what was going on with it.

Hi @Figtree11 I'm sorry things aren't back to normal yet, it's so frustrating when all we want is normality. It's very likely just hormones settling down ❤️ I'm currently on my first period post MVA 4 weeks ago so I'm also waiting to see how things go over the next cycle.

I'm just hoping it steadies out by April when we're planning to try again

Thanks for your reply @ThelastRolo20 It’s the not knowing isn’t it that’s the worst. If I knew for certain things would work out, I’d happily wait. But each week just drags by while waiting to see if anything happens.

I think the symptoms I’m having are hormones adjusting, or even anxiety around it causing it.

I had in my mind that I would be over 12wks pregnant by the time my due date comes around in June. But it’s slipping further away.
I also keep comparing myself to a couple of people I know IRL who had MCs fairly recently who conceived quickly after.

Sending my thoughts to you, I know how raw it all feels in the weeks after it happens ❤️

@Figtree11 sorry to hear of your loss sweet. I've had 3 MC in the past year and totally know what you mean about the frustration of the whole process. I like you had a period quite quickly after BFN but then it seemed that my cycle was all over the place after that. I don't track ovulation either as the one time I did it it put me more on edge, stressed me out and made sex with DH like a regimented process. I did catch after my first and second MCs (for reference 1st MC 09/03/23 caught again June/July 2nd MC 31/08 caught again Dec 3rd MC 31/01) but I only had one or two periods dotted in-between. It was a bit of a nightmare cause I had to always be ready as had no idea when AF would rear her ugly head. I suppose the sensible side of me would say wait til cycles calm down before TTC but the other side says what the hell I'm too impatient. Then when a BFP arrives it brings its own set of wild emotions and anxieties. Oh the joys. We're all just here trying to navigate this crazy path we've been chucked down.
It's perfectly fine to cry. It's also perfectly fine to be happy sometimes. It's ok to scream, shout, break down, shut off. Whatever makes you feel better in the moment.
33 is still young sweet. Don't give any extra worry to your age.
If you're still TTC then I wish you the best of luck. If you're going to take some time out then I hope you enjoy it and come back to TTC refreshed

💐💐

Hi lovelies

I’m so sorry to hear of all the ladies that have joined since I last posted- although I’m glad you’ve found a space here ❤️ I found it invaluable being able to talk it through with people.

I am now 4 weeks post mc and in a much better place, we are ttc again.
sorry if this has been mentioned- for those in England there is a new government scheme available for people who have lost a baby before 24 weeks to have a baby birth certificate- it’s not legal but it’s something to commemorate. It started yesterday and at the moment is only open to people with a loss after 2018- so all of us. I just did it and it’s been created in a lovely way and refers to the ‘baby’ throughout and you can choose certain things a) a date- can be date of loss, date you found out, due date, anything, and b) name if you had one in mind amongst other things.
its free and they post it out to you, you put your name and if you want another parent on it too they get an email to complete the link.
for me it’s felt like a really positive way to move forward and I’ll be putting it in a little box that I kept the scan pictures in, and then I feel I’ll be able to put it away somewhere safe.
not sure links will post but if you google baby loss certificate uk gov it would come up
sending love xxxxx

@nearly8 thank you for your lovely reply, it’s so kind of you. It has made me well up!

I am so sorry to hear how tough your year has been. I’m similar to you in that I haven’t tracked ovulation as it just gets me stressed & worried. But not knowing when you ovulate, or when to expect a period is tricky too.

I hope one day this is all just a memory in the past for all of us, and that everything works out.

Thank you again for being so lovely xxx

Thanks for sharing that info @Lemonyfire - I feel like that will help lots of people!

So sorry you’re struggling @Figtree11 - I know that feeling very well. 33 is thought to be young in reproductive terms - well I guess I would say that as I’m 33! Also after my MC my nurse asked my age and immediately said ‘oh yea that’s very young still’ which was nice to hear. So maybe we can make a pact not to add that to our long list of worries!

@nearly8 those cramps sound awful? Are they gone now? How unfair! Also those shifts would drive me mad. I get a sense that you have a lot of grit! I hope that you get the chance to properly let go though sometimes.

I’m doing ok! Finally got my opk peak today thank god. Talked dh into 6am bd this morning again before work poor thing. Aware I’m being intense about it but he’s away tonight! Then having a relaxed weekend.

Booked to go to Portugal for a few days when af is due next. So either I’ll be able to drink a lot of wine or a tiny bit pregnant and terrified!

Hi everyone, can I join please?

I had my 12 week scan yesterday to find baby had stopped growing at 8+4. I had been bleeding since Monday so I knew something was up. I’ve had a follow up with EPU today and I have surgery booked for Wednesday, but I’m absolutely terrified of miscarrying at home while I wait. Cramps have ramped up today so I’m worried I’m going to go over the weekend.

Anyone who has miscarried at home, what was it like if you don’t mind sharing? I want to be prepared but I’m honestly terrified ☹️

@Lemonyfire I recognise your name from the September thread, hope you are doing okay x