Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@ThelastRolo20 I have an engagement party this weekend and the group there are from uni and still go very large so I am dreading trying to keep up with them!

@CurlyWurly1991 i am a POAS addict...

Hi ladies, hope you're all doing ok. @ThelastRolo20 how are you feeling about waiting to TTC? I'm doing ok with it. I had spotting mid cycle so I think my body is still getting beck to normal.

@CurlyWurly1991 Howbarwbyou doing, hope the TTW isn't too torturous?

We did our burial/memorial this morning. We decided to include the kids so I explained to my 7 year old about the 3 siblings he should have. I'm really glad we included him. I did get emotional when we buried it, very glad to have done it, it feels like closure.

Really hope anyone else doing a ceremony soon feels it is healing xx

@warmbutteredtoast that's nice you had a ceremony with your son. We are going to bury our baby too but the hospital haven't contacted us yet. I didn't realise they sent the baby away first so I was quite disappointed and now it feels like it's dragging on as it's been over a week.

@jellyfish2 Ah that's frustrating they've sent it away. Do you know what they are testing for? They told me they'd test mine to see if it was a molar pregnancy but I miscarried before the op

@warmbutteredtoast I think it's just generic? He said it wasn't genetics or anything I think it's just to make sure everything looked ok, probably just the same that it wasn't molar etc. although would that not have shown on my scan? It did look like a baby 😔

@jellyfish2 Yeah I was confused when they said testing for molar as the scan showed a baby with a hb, the consultant may not have found out the details of my case before talking to us I guess

@warmbutteredtoast I didn't ever get to see a heartbeat unfortunately but I'd imagine it would be obvious on a scan or after the surgery was performed? I'm just guessing I suppose. I just want to get our little one back so we can try to move on. I'm still testing positive on a pregnancy test, I wish I'd waited now!

@FullMoon1917 enjoy the get together this weekend, and the hangover!

@warmbutteredtoast I'm feeling okay ish about it. Not much I can do otherwise due to the holiday in April. Trying to look at all the positives but just struggling as a lot of my friendship group are currently expecting their second and I feel in limbo. Waiting for first period post surgery, but I've had EWCM and my boobs really hurt so I imagine it'll arrive within the next two weeks. Just hoping my cycle goes back to normal by April/ May so we can give it a proper go! X

@ThelastRolo20 Aw I can really relate to it feeling like everyone is having their second. That happened with us, we had secondary infertility. Sending hugs and hope you have a lovely holiday. April will be here before you know it, already half way through Feb! X

Hi everyone. I took the tablets this morning to end a silent miscarriage (baby stopped growing before 6 weeks but I'm now 11 weeks in)

I'm getting bad period like cramps and diarrhea but only bleeding VERY lightly, only really visible when wiping. Is this normal? I thought once it started it would be heavy bleeding?

@ThelastRolo20 i didnt drink at first but got quite awkward so had a few, my tests were all negative at this point and my first period post miscarriage ended up coming last night which I am very grateful for.

I was worried it would be painful and heavy but it hasnt been so far......

The party was difficult as one of my friends friends is 2 weeks ahead of when I was supposed to be, there was a joke before I miscarried I was fully intending on coming on the hen when she had already said no. Seeing her with a very visible bump was painful, and then my friends sister had her 2 month old there too. I had to excuse myself to have a bit of a cry and its made me realise I need to get therapy started asap if I want to move on from this.

I have got my referral now for fertility and need to get a HyCoSy booked but they said i need to wait 3 cycles after a miscarriage for that.

@bouncingblob i think it takes a different amount of time for everyone, and it can also fail as it did with me. I only had cramps about 4 or 5 hours after being given the pessaries and the bleeding started around 7 hours after. I bled a lot and with clots but then when the second dose did nothing I knew something wasnt right but ignored it till 3 weeks later when they scanned me after severe cramps and it was all still there. Has anything happened overnight?

Hey everyone! I'm sorry to those still waiting on answers, those struggling post miscarriage, those finding the TWW tough, and those that are new to this group! I hope you are all doing okay!
Currently waiting on my first period post miscarriage! My watch is predicting it to be the 25th based on my temperatures! Never really looked at temps before, so no idea what I'm looking at! I'm feeling extra hungry and grumpy, so sounds like my pms starting! :') hopefully this is all good signs that my cycle is due to start very soon!

Nope not a thing. Hospital said to call again on Wednesday if nothing happens (that would be 72 hours). So frustrating, I just want it over and done with.

@bouncingblob sorry to hear that, from what I have read online I think if youre further along the chances of it not working seem higher. I was 11 weeks as well but baby stopped around 8.5.

Will you opt for surgical or expectant management if nothing happens by Wednesday?

Morning ladies,
Sorry to hear of everyone's losses. I hope you are feeling ok today.
Had my third consecutive MC 31/01 which was over pretty quickly physically. However, the mental battering I have endured over the past 11 months is taking its toll. This time last year I was pregnant and had never had a MC but here I am nearly a year later and I've had 3.
I'm in two minds whether to TTC again. I suppose we're not trying but also not trying not to if that makes sense. I'm not tracking anything and have no idea when my period will or won't make an appearance or if I'm ovulating. I find it far too stressful and the disappointment when I've tracked ovulation previously only to not catch was pretty unbearable. I feel like I'm broken.
I hope all you ladies on here get to where you want to be. I'm still a bit confused as to where that is anymore. I do already have children which I feel so blessed for every day and I think that has what's stopped me having a full on breakdown.
The 'anniversary' of my first is 09/03 which is the day before one of my DDs birthdays and also this year the day before mother's day. Not sure how I feel about that yet. Just gonna throw myself into birthday party and plaster a smile on.
Giving you all a huge hug 🫂 and keeping fingers crossed 🤞 that you get your rainbows this year if that is what you want.

Take care ladies, look after yourselves 💐💐

@nearly8 I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through the last year, it's so cruel. I hope taking the pressure off makes it happen for you. Already having does help but it doesn't take away that you really want another and I'm sure it will happen but I understand how you'll be feeling. I have one DS already and without him I think I'd struggle to get through the day but I too want another. I feel so defeated after my recent MMC but I can shake wanting another so soon!

@jellyfish2 thank you for your kind words. I know what you mean about wanting one again soon. It's so frustrating. Each time I've caught after MC (which I'm thankful doesn't usually take long just doesn't stick 😩) I've found it so hard to actually be happy or excited. I see the BFP and instantly I'm filled with dread which then makes me feel a) guilty and b) annoyed cause pregnancy should be such a happy time.

Keeping my fingers crossed 🤞 for you this cycle Hun. Please keep me updated. Even if I'm unsuccessful then hearing good news for someone else would really cheer me up. I hear a lot of woman say they feel resentment towards others when they're expecting which I completely understand but for me it actually makes me happy and fills me with hope. Hearing other woman successfully getting and keeping a pregnancy is music to my ears now I'm a graduate of pregnancy loss.

Look after yourself Hun and try to find something to make you smile today 💐💐

Aw thank you. I just know I'm going to feel everything you just said there when I do get pregnant again. In this forum I'm happy when I see someone get a BFP because I know how much of a journey it is for everyone. I have to admit I now do feel a bit of resentment when it's someone that I know and they just seem to fall pregnant and have successful pregnancies. I hate feeling that way though.

I just took a pregnancy test to see if my levels have come down since my MC and the line is vvv faint. I took an ovulation test to see what that says which is positive so I'd imagine that's because there's some HCG still in my system, would that be right?

I don't have any other signs of ovulation as yet!
How soon did everyone ovulate after hcg was low/negative?
Thanks ladies x

@jellyfish2 yes I would imagine the traces of HCG would be triggering the ovulation result. Good news that the line is faint on the poas though. Going in the right direction. Once I got my negatives I ovulated on my next cycle each time. I don't know whether this is something to be happy about but my body bounces back pretty quick after MC. I would say keep testing until your negative comes then test for ovulation. Midwives and EPU say to wait until first period before TTC but that's only for dates. That can be determined after. If you feel up to it DTD as soon as you get ovulating. Or even before if you're like me. I find being close to DH takes the sting away and if I know we're DTD just to be close instead of TTC it feels less like a mission or something 'we have to do right now' if that makes sense.

Have you heard when you will get your little one back? What are your plans? I never had any testing done on mine. They all happened at home and I just wanted them over with.

Thank you, I'll just keep testing for a negative test over the coming days. I didn't ever think I'd be really wanting a negative pregnancy test!
They said it would be a week or so but haven't heard and it's been two weeks. I'll phone tomorrow to ask as I just want to be able to move on properly. They don't do genetic testing as I've only had one (traumatic enough) but they said it's more a general test to make sure everything looked ok.

Morning everyone. I'm currently experiencing a miscarriage. Light spotting started on Saturday but didn't think much of it. It then started to get a bit heavier when I was in work yesterday so I booked a private scan. I was meant to be 6 weeks and 6 days but the gestational sac was only 4 weeks and 6 days. Miscarriage hasn't been confirmed, as the sonographer can't diagnose, but I'm assuming this is what's happening? Waiting for a call from EPU but that could take a few days. Just so heartbroken. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I've an appointment with my GP later too. I just feel so helpless. Never imagined feeling this way. Xx

@jellyfish2 lol I know. It seems counterproductive to be pissed off at a positive longing for a negative 🤣
I hope you get some answers and close the chapter. Sun is shining today, hopefully a sign of brighter days to come.

@Bb542 aww Hun I'm sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately NHS won't use private scan as a reference. I know that when I went to A&E they referred me directly to the EPU so that may be something to consider rather than waiting. I was supposed to be 11weeks with my first MC but only measured 8weeks. Once I'd been through it once I never bothered going to EPU with my next two MCs. It may be worth a try though to get some advice/answers more quickly.
Take time for yourself and even though its a dark time try and find something to make you smile today
Sending you hugs 🤗💐

So sorry for you @Bb542 - it’s an awful shock. I hope you can get seen at the EPU soon. They sometimes only see people who are at least 7 weeks so you might want to tell them you were seven weeks, which you practically were. It does get better as the shock wears off I promise. Sending a hug.

@nearly8 and @jellyfish2 I agree - I love hearing success stories after MC and don’t resent them at all. And I try and remember that even those that appear to have easy pregnancies may have gone through stuff too (although of course it still stings!)

We’re back at TTC properly this month after MC in early Jan. I forgot how ridiculous it can be! Had a friend staying last night in the middle of my (suspected) fertile window, so we knew we couldn’t bd with him in the house. Decided to bd in the morning instead but both of us had to leave at 5.30am for work yesterday morning so we woke up at 4.55am to bd! DH said he thought it would be hot but I can tell you it wasn’t at all 😂 just very sleepy and surreal ha.

Let’s hope I ovulate soon to make it worth it! Have EWCM but no positive opk yet. I ovulated normally last month so let’s hope it’s on its way 🤞

@ForestWren thank you so much for making me giggle today. I do, however, totally relate. It actually made me laugh out loud and my work colleague gave me a very funny look 🤣🤣 it's like a military operation sometimes isn't it.

Sorry you've had to experience a loss too. It really is shitty isn't it? Glad that you are ready to TTC and good luck to you this cycle sweet keeping my fingers crossed 🤞 for a sticky one for you.