Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

I'm so sorry to hear you've had two miscarriages, it's just awful. We'll never forget our babies. I had my surgery today and it went as well as I could've hoped. I have a feeling it'll hit me over the next couple of days as I feel ok just now.

@Cherryblossom9220 I'm doing okay thanks, bleeding has stopped so just waiting for a negative test now! Always seems silly wanting a negative test when normally all we want is a positive one 🤦‍♀️

@jellyfish2 I'm glad the surgery went well, I hope you have as much of a relaxing weekend as possible ❤️

@ThelastRolo20 I was thinking this about the test, it'll be a kicker seeing a negative test for the first time but then it's clearly a good thing too. What us women go through eh!

@jellyfish2 hope you can rest and recover over the next few days. It’s a big thing to go through both physically as well as emotionally. I felt ok at first after surgery then needed to dial back my activity within a week as I realised I was getting a bit crampy if I did too much. Might just be me though.

@ThelastRolo20 it’s a weird thing with the negative tests, I wanted mine to turn negative but then at the same time was kind of reassured for a while with the positives. Now at 4+ weeks after surgery I have got my bfn but also feel kind of sad about it.

@Cherryblossom9220 @ @jellyfish2 So sorry to read your stories and see you on here. I always feel sad when i see new ppl join the thread, it feels like miscarriages should stop at some point but they never do. I hope it's a comfort that you are not alone ❤️

I started miscarrying today at 5+6. I’m heartbroken :( it feels so lonely. I have my lovely DH and mum supporting me through it but I just feel so, so sad that it’s happening. I feel worse because I had a medical termination when I was younger, what if that was my one chance? I’m still only in my twenties, had no risk factors, followed all the NHS advice yet bleeding heavy with clots today. I have taken tomorrow off work but don’t know how to cheer myself up. I’d usually go to a coffee shop but it’ll be full of mums and babies like usual on weekdays, and not sure I can face that while it’s all so raw.

@ThelastRolo20 Really wishing for my bleeding to stop! I don't recall it lasting this long last time! I was advised by epu to test next Wednesday! It is bizarre to want a negative test. Hopefully you won't have to wait much longer! Then it's just waiting for the next cycle! Feeling frustrated with all the waiting!

@jellyfish2 I'm glad your surgery went okay! Our bodies recover quicker than our minds! I hope you are okay! I've found that I'm not getting upset as much now, just feeling a lot of anger and frustration!

@warmbutteredtoast Thank you! It's nice finding a group that are supportive and understanding! It helps a little being able to talk about it!

@lkjhuytiop I'm so sorry for your loss.There is nothing you have done that has caused this. It is heartbreaking, accept all the support you can, and take time to care for yourself.

@Cherryblossom9220 when did you have your surgery? How have you been? I feel weirdly ok but now and again I just start crying when I think about what could've been and how wanted our little one was. It's just such a sad situation, I'm sorry to see you've been through it twice. Thankfully my bleeding has pretty much stopped which I didn't expect so soon.

Just wondering how long everyone has waited before TTC again? A negative test could take a while.

@Cherryblossom9220 sorry to hear you're still bleeding - how are your tests looking? If they're still strong it may be retained product (hate that phrase!) But hopefully not. Such a large range of normal

@CurlyWurly1991 @jellyfish2 thanks both - so weird chasing a negative isn't it.

@jellyfish2 the emotions are going to go up and down especially with hormones resetting! With my first MC I tested positive for three weeks (but very faint by the end) but must have ovulated two weeks after MC as my period came 4 weeks to the day after the MC.

We did try that cycle but actually fell pregnant the next cycle (which obviously didn't work out). So now on a break until April/ May so I can enjoy our holiday. Right now that feels like a decade away though....

@lkjhuytiop sorry about your MC, the vast majority of the time it's nothing you've done, or haven't done, it's just horrendous bad luck ❤️

It'll hurt seeing mum's and babies, but it will ease over time. I hope you're recovering okay

@ThelastRolo20 I did wonder about trying in two weeks just to see. I don't know if it's wise or not right enough. Maybe see how we feel, like you say the hormones will probably cause me to be all over the place soon enough.

@jellyfish2 its a very personal decision about when to start TTC again. We felt emotionally ready by about 3 weeks after surgery so I was testing for pregnancy and only (probably) ovulated about 4 weeks after, once my tests had turned negative. The cycle feels different though. I don’t expect to be successful but didn’t want to ‘waste’ an ovulation so am hopeful there’s at least some chance. From what I’ve read the main issue is around dating the pregnancy and the emotional side of a new potential pregnancy. You also want to make sure that you do have a negative hpt first because the risk of thinking you are newly pregnant but it being a false positive would be very difficult. I wish you the best xx

@CurlyWurly1991 thank you. I think I'll probably feel like I want to try again soon. I'll test after two weeks and see when I ovulate too but I have no idea when to expect that. I already feel guilty that I'm thinking about trying again, it's just a whirlwind of emotions isn't it xx

@jellyfish2 i didn't wait and am currently in TWW (7dpo) and honestly its been hell and huge part of me wishes I had waited a bit. I don't think I was this obsessive the whole year we tried to conceive. Symptom spotting to the point where I need an intervention.

Its not helped that I am finally out of the numb stage and have been ugly crying alone a lot. I think I am also having either the PMS from hell or its my hormones finishing rebalancing.

Obviously I am praying it will have worked but I think the level of stress I am putting on myself is not helpful and I clearly hadn't come to terms with the miscarriage.

Does anyone know when it’s ok to have sex after miscarriage? Sorry if it’s an upsetting question

@lkjhuytiop not a problem to ask 😊 they recommend around two weeks, subject to bleeding having stopped to help ensure no infection x

@FullMoon1917 I'm sorry to read you're feeling this way. It is so difficult and I don't think anyone can predict how they'll feel. I haven't cried much today and feel a bit better but I worry I'm reaching the numb stage too and it'll just hit me again randomly.

@FullMoon1917 I understand the need of trying again instantly but still reeling from the MC. It's part of the reason I'm taking a 3 month break now (one of a few). It's hard but I want to get back to a place where my life isn't controlled by it. Also to put some space between hopefully a new chapter and my two MCs

Thank you @jellyfish2 and @ThelastRolo20 xxxx

@lkjhuytiop I just DTD for the first time 10 days after my miscarriage. All the doc I saw at EPU said was wait until bleeding has stopped. It was potentially too early but I just wanted to get back to TTC 😐

My tests are getting stronger. What on earth is going on? Miscarriage started 5 days ago and stopped bleeding today… was bleeding so heavy and passed what I thought was the pregnancy tissue so it can’t be anything else? Tests were very nearly negative.

Top = yesterday eve
Middle = this morning
Bottom = half an hour ago!

Can anyone help? Really puzzled and worried too.

@lkjhuytiop sorry if you covered this earlier but did you ever have a scan confirming a MC, or just bleeding? If not there's two potential reasons, either you're still pregnant and you have had unexplained bleeding, or you still have some tissue left over following a MC which is continuing to increase the HCG levels ❤️

Either way you need to get scanned x

It would’ve been too early, I was days off 6 weeks and would only be 6+2 now so EPU said they wouldn’t see anything x

As HCG is increasing you'll need to ring them tomorrow and they should scan you @lkjhuytiop ❤️