Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

Monday.
But I've got a 4 year old to parent all weekend! I have my partner and some friends are going to take her to a party on Sunday but generally she's here and she doesn't understand if I am not well.
I just wish they could have sorted it today.

@misssunshine86 I understand. I have a 2 year old and they require so much energy when you have literally nothing to give 💔 I'm glad you have support over the weekend and that she's off to a party. Monday will be here soon although it might not feel like it x

@misssunshine86 so sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling of wanting it to be managed sooner rather than waiting. I was lucky in that it happened for me the day after finding out but even that felt like torture as didn’t know when it would.
thinking of you and hope you are able to manage the weekend xxx

@misssunshine86 @Orlahoping So so sorry for your losses, it's so awful, I'm glad you've found your way here I hope we are a small comfort. @Duffy23 How horrible! I'm so sorry you've had such a tough few days, and that the hospital hasn't been very sensitive. They should have been more thoughtful.

Anyone who's had a miscarriage before, was your first period afterwards really heavy with clots? I'm day 2 and it's as heavy as the miscarriage! Wasn't expecting this. Had a negative test beforehand so assumed all the miscarriage stuff had come out but maybe not 🤔

Hi all, need a handhold. Went to see a friend today who knows what's happened with me, and she told me face to face that she's pregnant and had her 12 week scan yesterday.

I feel absolutely broken.

@ThelastRolo20 I am so sorry. That must have been so hard. Sending love to you. It's such a rough set of feelings to have to handle.

I had a pregnancy announcement today, and my friend also tried to consol me by telling me "when God closes a door, he opens a window" 😐

@warmbutteredtoast
Oh that sounds rough. I haven’t had my first period since MMC yet but I’ve heard it can be unusually lighter or heavier than usual. Not looking forward to it tbh!

@ThelastRolo20 Im sorry, that sucks. I’ve just had a colleague announce pregnancy in a big meeting. Plastered a smile on but wanted to die inside. Due date will be similar to the one I’ve just lost, I would have been 12 weeks this week 😔
I don’t think people that haven’t had losses realise that is better not to tell people face to face, and better not to share scan pictures. I will know that myself for if I’m lucky enough to conceive successfully again, but I think many people just have no idea what it is like.

still getting positive HPTs here so I’ve booked in with the EPU for end of next week so they can check there’s no retained tissue. Really hope there isn’t, it was surgical management so hoping very much that all that’s left is just a bit of hcg in the bloodstream 🤞

@CurlyWurly1991 it's so strange as she miscarried in October too at 6 weeks! When I found out in December I texted her and said I was texting in case there were mixed emotions.

All I got today was her telling me.face to face how guilty she had felt.... excellent. Thanks for that. Our due dates would have been 5 days apart.

Actually broken 💔 I don't know how to carry on. My two friends are both pregnant, I feel I can't really go to them for support. I just want to crawl into a hole

@ThelastRolo20 I feel exactly the same .My SIL is pregnant & due the same day I was. I feel so broken.

is anyone else struggling to eat or sleep? I find the nights the toughest. I also had someone say ill be better in a day or two 🙄🙄

@Duffy23 glad it only takes a day or two, I'll be alright by Monday then 🙃 what a silly thing to say

It's so hard with due dates so close ❤️

@Duffy23 the nights are definitely the worst. I am trying to eat little and often...or just have a smoothie or some Huel to keep my strength up.

It's so tough I just can't eat or anything. I'm here if you want to PM me x

@Duffy23 @ThelastRolo20 sending loads of love. Keep sharing your feelings on here if you’re not getting what you need from friends and family - we’re listening and understand ❤️

I ate a doughnut today & that was it. struggling to eat. I'm also sore too. 😫

@ThelastRolo20 i am so sorry you had to experience that, and i am not sure how i would handle that happening to me. I am definitely finding i am not up to socialising, and won't for a while as I just know someone will say something that will set me off.

To all of you, youre such strong women and this is something that I think unfortunately unless you're experienced it you can't begin to understand.

I hope that we all find healing and for those that wish for it, rainbows

Thanks everyone. As I hate being sad I've already googled inspirational quotes to help me move on...one I love is "fall 7 times, stand up 8" it's a Japanese proverb

@ThelastRolo20 thats a great way to think about it. I do find myself getting sad about all this occasionally but as much as I would love to take to my bed with a bottle of wine I have this feeling of well it won't change anything so whats the point. I do however think my brain is doing that trauma response so I am probably not feeling everything 🙃

@Duffy23 i am so sorry you had to see pregnant women at the hospital. The second i was in the EPU there were 2 ladies with their babies and one absolutely obnoxious woman on the phone going on about how excited she was that her friend would be having a baby in the next few weeks. I get its all emergency gynaecology but come on.

My dream situation is when i am no longer triggered by seeing babies or pregnant women 😩 as it took us so long to conceive (13 months) i had some jealousy towards pregnant women for a while which i was so happy to have let go of for a brief moment. Though oddly i am no longer jealous as such but hopeful for them that their pregnancy turns out ok unlike mine.

@misssunshine86 @Orlahoping so sorry to hear of your losses and hope everything gets sorted as soon as possible.

However as a slight bit of good news for me i have finally stopped bleeding. Thats just over 5 weeks since medical management and exactly 2 weeks since i passed the sac. It also seems that my LH is creeping upwards so I am hopeful my body is finally recovering. Like I said it took us so long to conceive I am not too hopeful it will happen any time soon, but we have been referred now for fertility treatment by my GP so fingers crossed.

@warmbutteredtoast i will let you know what my first period is like, hopefully it will be here within 2 weeks

@FullMoon1917 I'm glad your bleeding has stopped - hopefully your period arrives in two weeks and isn't too different to normal.

My bleeding has also stopped fully - 10 days since surgery (it's been pretty much nothing for 3 or so days though). Also hoping my period comes back within the next 3 weeks so I can get back to some normality.

What's next steps for you? Is it tests with the GP or a more specialised clinic? X

@ThelastRolo20 @FullMoon1917 good to hear your bleeding has stopped too.
It’s almost 4 weeks on from ERPC here and I still have a faint positive pregnancy test so am booked for a scan end of the week. I’ve also been having signs of ovulation but it hasn’t happened yet. Think it could take longer than I was hoping.

@CurlyWurly1991 god these journeys are tough aren't they? How positive is it? Last time I had the faintest positive after three weeks (a real squinter). I think it took my period to clear it out fully

Thank you @ThelastRolo20 I guess last time you must have ovulated in order for AF to show and then the test to turn negative.. I wonder how much hcg can be in the body and you still ovulate.
My tests are a definite line, but getting fainter and not as strong as my original bfp af 14 dpo 🤷🏼‍♀️

@ThelastRolo20 so back in October the GP had got me to do the standard day 3 and day 21 blood tests, which came back fine but was also the cycle i conceived so nothing futher happened. I had already had an assessment for IVF privately earlier in the year that said there was nothing wrong with my scans etc but my AMH was very low so IVF may not work (unless its natural modified cycle).

The referral now is at the hospital for specialist assessment, she said that now I had conceived they might try and find out why I lost this baby. Like I've said before I am not young(turning 36 this year) and we have been trying for a while so she thinks they won't just tell me to keep trying but who knows.

I am hoping if we can continue to stay off the wine and get my husband off so much coffee we may be able to conceive naturally again. We both could do with losing a few pounds according to BMI but I lift quite heavy weights so I try and ignore that. My husband is 18 years older than me so the fact we even conceived in the first place is a miracle. Heres hoping for another one soon though xx

@CurlyWurly1991 my tests only went negative 4 weeks after the medical (1 week after sac came out) and i definitely haven't ovulated yet. I think its so different with everyone, i remember googling how to reduce HCG levels and all i found was to drink more water 😅

@CurlyWurly1991 waiting for a negative is the worst. I'm hoping when I test a week Wednesday it's all clear. I'm hoping the fact bleeding stopped after a week is a good sign.

Well last time I did use OPKs for a week or so after bleeding stopped and nothing, and my period came back on time so either I missed it by a day or so...or I didn't ovulate. Who knows but of course it's likely I did and I would have done with a small amount of HCG in the system if that were the case x

@FullMoon1917 I'm hoping they do all the investigations they can for you. Lifestyle changes can certainly only help! Positive your initial bloods came back okay though and it is a good sign you managed to conceive (I tell myself this as it's easy to get wrapped up in "is it going to happen" otherwise!) Xx

@FullMoon1917 I'm turning 35 this year so know what you mean about the age thing. It's unfair on us but the women's age does have more of an impact