Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

@FullMoon1917 Thanks so much. I feel shit today just drained & wrecked

@Duffy23 @Lemonyfire So sorry for what you're going through, and awful that you're not being well looked after by your hospitals. Sending a big hug to both of you. Duffy hopefully the worst is over for you now. I found passing the sac v shocking and surreal.

I've finally had a negative test and almost certain I ovulated over a week ago ( when test was still positive) weird how quick the body can start cycles again. I'll be waiting until April/May too @ThelastRolo20, we have a lil embryo on ice and it'll be our last attempt. Clinic want 3 cycles before we transfer so a bit of time to not worry about pregnancy which is a relief tbh

@warmbutteredtoast I also find it strange that the body gets back to normal so quickly, not so much the mind!

Ah it's nice that we're on the timeline for trying again, it can be hard knowing everyone else is cracking on so to speak 😂 we can keep each other company until April/may!

@ThelastRolo20 Yes!

I think I’ve just ovulated about 3 weeks after surgical management. Pretty amazed that could happen tbh, since my cycles can be long anyway I often ovulate later than this (equivalent of about cd23). Good luck to everyone TTC again after a miscarriage x

My period started today last than 4 weeks after miscarriage began 😮 Pleased to be back on normal cycles

@CurlyWurly1991 @warmbutteredtoast sounds like both your cycles are behaving relatively well! That's great news.

Mine came 4 weeks to the day after my last MC so I'm also hoping that happens again this time.

@warmbutteredtoast I think you said you needed 3 cycles before trying again? So Hopefully you'll be trying in April? Is that how it works, or will it be May?

I had a scan today which confirmed everything has passed naturally over the last week, I’m only lightly spotting now so that was what I had hoped, feel physically and emotionally better and this gave me some closure.
The Dr was so lovely and he gave me so much time to answer my questions and has given me a prescription for progesterone if I get pregnant again. He advised if I’m ready to try again after my period, I didn’t ask why I would need to wait for after my period, is it only for dating reasons? I’m not in a mad rush and am nowhere near ready yet, I just have very irregular cycles ( up to 44 days) so could be waiting quite a long time.

@Lemonyfire I'm so glad the scan has given you some closure, and that they've prescribed you progesterone.

I think it is mainly for dating reasons, statistically I don't think there's any reason not to try immediately. If your body isn't ready to get pregnant, then it won't!

That being said waiting a cycle may just help everything settle, both physically and mentally. You just have to do what's right for you ❤️

@Lemonyfire Im glad you had good care and felt there was enough time to ask questions. It’s so important.
Like @ThelastRolo20 said, I think the advice about waiting until after first period is mainly for dating reasons. We were planning to wait but I suspected ovulation was approaching this week so have started TTC again. If the body isn’t ready I’m sure it will not conceive. I did look through some info online and it all said it was fine to start TTC once pain/bleeding had subsided and you felt emotionally ready.

@ThelastRolo20 @CurlyWurly1991 thank you so much. Based on what’s typical for me, I won’t ovulate for another 2ish weeks so there will be enough time for me to see how I feel in that, I’m just more aware of time passing /my age/kids age gaps now :(

@Lemonyfire so glad to hear things are better. I specifically asked this time when the nurse said about waiting a cycle, and she said its not just dating as they can always scan to figure that out.

She said thats its because if any previous miscarriage tissue is left it can be mistaken for a new pregnancy. Which i guess if you make sure you have a negative test before shouldn't be an issue?

However when i was scheduled for surgery still that nurse (a different one) said i should wait a cycle to allow the womb lining to heal as its been injured and birds always refeather their nests before laying their eggs (i know... but she was actually really lovely).

Its all so confusing, and my LH is apparently declining which makes zero sense. I have bleeding in some way for 5 weeks now and I think it probably makes sense to wait for my next period anyway given how traumatised i am. If I ever stop bleeding that is!

However I have got a referral for counselling now to use through bupa, which i am hoping will help. I feel like im on auto pilot and not present at all. I was supposed to go to the station yesterday and found myself outside the supermarket 🙃 no idea how you ladies cope with little ones. I told my husband that i wouldn't trust myself to drive currently.

@CurlyWurly1991 exciting you are TTC again, sending baby dust xxx

@Lemonyfire I know what you mean about age and gaps. I am approaching 35 and my DD is 2 and I should have been 6 months pregnant now.

I'm having a break until April and it's difficult because it will be almost a year since we actually started trying (June last year).

But then I think to myself, if I said to a friend that I was planning on trying for a 2nd at 34, with an age gap of 3-4 years, no one would bat an eyelid! It's also giving me time to take loads of vitamins to try and get egg quality as good as it can be (husband is going on vitamins from April too!). The only person putting pressure on me, is me. I have to remember that

@FullMoon1917 ok that’s food for thought, I am hoping the scan I had confirms nothing left but will take tests etc, if my cycle goes like normal it will probably have been around 3.5/4 weeks since my mc until I ovulate which is a fair amount of time for things to settle, but if I’ve kept spotting or anything I will just wait as I think things won’t have settled down.

@ThelastRolo20 the pressure thing is very true
3-4 years is not a big gap at all. I have a 11yr old, 8 yr old and I am turning 36 this year, I hadn’t wanted a huge gap but it’s how it turns out and I no longer care about the gap in the same way!

Can I join? Feeling a little bereft and low after finding out our baby stopped growing at 9 weeks at a 12 week scan. It was my first pregnancy and we are so ready to be parents. I'm 37 so I fear time is running out.

I was scheduled in for a D&C on Monday but I had a big loss of tissue earlier today so perhaps I will miscarry completely by then.

I was so scared I wouldn't be able to get pregnant, to the point I had a breakdown. It actually only took 5 months and I was absolutely overjoyed. And now it feels like it has been snatched away.

@Orlahoping oh I'm so sorry. I had the exact same in October at my 12 week scan, baby had stopped between 9 and 10 weeks. Like you I booked in for surgery but naturally miscarried the day after the scan

It's such a big shock, I hope you have lots of support around you at the moment x

@ThelastRolo20 I definitely do have a lot of support around me. I feel super lucky. It's still rough though isn't it!

So sorry it has happened to you too. ❤️

Evening ladies

I had a awful few days. I had to go for a scan & I was sent to a room full of pregnant women. I can't describe my pain & despair.
Yesterday I had the D&C. It felt so awful. I woke up in the recovery room & I could hear a woman giving birth. I couldn't stop crying.
Réaltín is the name we picked. It's Irish & so are we and means little star.

@Duffy23 that's awful that they put you so close to pregnant women/ women giving birth, I'm so sorry.

What a beautiful name ❤️ I hope your recovery goes smoothly x

@Lemonyfire yes that is a good reason too, and I’m sure that sadly nurses will have seen women with positive pregnancy tests but on a scan they find it is retained products causing the positive. Indeed it’s important to check that the pregnancy tests go negative.
In terms of medical reasons though, Tommy’s website and RCOG both say there’s no reason not to start TTC again. Just putting that out there as I know for many the pressure of time can feel quite intense…. I’m 37 with an older child and feel like I can’t waste any potential opportunities! Emotionally would probably be better to wait it out, and for many I think that is better advice.

@Duffy23 I’m so sorry that you were put with women giving birth, I just can’t understand how that can be considered appropriate. Thinking of you in your recovery.

@CurlyWurly1991 yes the fear of wasting opportunities is playing on my mind too. I think in the next few weeks if I get negatives then it’s something to consider.

@Orlahoping so sorry to hear of your loss, and sad that you’ve had to join this board but I have found it to be so supportive and helpful for me. Try and rest and be as kind to yourself and your body as you can xxxx

@Orlahoping I’m sorry I missed it and didn’t reply to your post. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. It is a very difficult time, sending you strength and support. Take care of yourself xx

Can I join please. I should be 11 weeks today.
Waiting for either surgery or for the baby to pass naturally.
Bleeding on Wednesday and scan confirmed baby had died at 7 weeks 3 days.
I just hate this waiting part. 😞

Thanks @Lemonyfire and @CurlyWurly1991. Sorry we are all here.

@misssunshine86 sorry to hear about your loss too. It's just heartbreaking isn't it? I found out at 12 weeks that the baby passed at 9. I am booked in for surgery Monday but I think I passed most of the tissue yesterday afternoon.

@misssunshine86 I'm so sorry, the waiting is awful. Have they given you a date for surgery in case it doesn't happen naturally? I hope you have lots of support around you x