This forum seems so quiet...

[SnookyPook]

... I know everyone is grieving but I just miss the comraderie of the Pregnancy board and just feeling so sad knowing they are still all excitedly discussing their pregnancies. There were constant updates and things to catch up on every time I logged on. This time last week I was chatting with them and oblivious to what was coming... I just feel so sad right now and everything is so quiet and sad here by comparison. I guess I'm just coming to terms with the loss some more.

I burst into tears trying to think what to have for breakfast just now because I feel like what's the point now it's not nourishing my little one any more?

Sorry I don't know what I'm wanting to say. How is everyone else getting on? Anyone else right in the thick of it? Anyone further down the line and starting to feel little glimmers if hope again? Hope you're all ok. X

Morning ladies... hope everyone is doing ok. Khanga how did your night go?

I'm hoping this news will act as a nugget of hope for people.. I've had a BFP! 15dpo and really wasn't expecting it. Obviously super early days and given what I've been through earlier in the year, I'm trying not to get ahead of myself. However, I am excited and causitously wanting to enjoy this moment. 🤞🏻🌈

@SnookyPook Amazing!! So happy for you! Wishing you the best!

@Khanga27 I'm so sorry to hear this, it's awful for you. But I just want to reassure you about surgery: I had it and it was absolutely fine. I've had both medical and surgical now and for me, surgical was so much better. You'll be brilliantly looked after in hospital. I had minimal pain and bleeding afterwards which helped me recover so much faster mentally. And the risks of anything not going to plan are very small.
I hope that reassures you a bit. Xx

@SnookyPook That's fantastic news! Massive congratulations xx

Oh wow @SnookyPook that’s wonderful! Such lovely news to return with :) This is a moment well worth enjoying, and hopefully there will be many more in the months and years to come!

Lovely to hear from you @SnookyPook and big congratulations on your BFP! Wishing you all the good thoughts and good luck 🌈

I am ok, we had a private 7 week scan which showed a little baby and a little fluttering heartbeat 💞 which was obviously lovely. But tbh it hasn't really eased the anxiety. I just constantly think somethings going to go wrong! We've booked another one for 9 weeks so one week to wait 🤞🏼

Let's hope this is the silver lining for us after the this year!

@sweetpotato29 so glad that the first scan has gone well and you've seen the heartbeat. Completely get that it hasn't completely reassured you though. I think sadly that's how it is after a loss.

Thank you... I'm still finding it quite surreal tbh! I am excited though. More so than I thought I would be (given post MMC anxiety). I'm just trying to enjoy the moment 🥰

Well, it was short-lived... CB weeks indicator which should have been 2-3 by now has come up with Not Pregnant which is pretty conclusive!! No bleeding yet but at least I know it's coming. Just hope it doesn't take too long now.

This has hit me far less hard than my MMC in April. I guess I'd had less time to feel hopeful etc. It almost feels more surreal than anything. I'm still trying to home in on the positives that we've got pregnant twice in the space of 8 months, and less on the mad panic about egg quality etc 😬🙃

The right one will come at the right time. I'm sure whenever my rainbow does come along, it will make absolute sense why I had to wait for them. 🌈💕

Oh @SnookyPook I'm so sorry to hear that! I really am gutted for you - it's such a roller coater of emotions.
You sound very positive which is great but make sure you take the time to look after yourself also. You're absolutely right, the right one will come at the right time x

@BuzzieBo thank you. Yes I've had a good cry as well and I'm sure it will hit me at random moments. It just hadn't quite got far enough to feel properly real yet I think. It is gutting but it is what it is. I do trust that my rainbow is on the way... just a question of when! 🌈💕🤞🏻

Hi @SnookyPook and @countrypunk thanks for checking in on me and I'm sorry for the delayed response. I'm so sorry you've had that experience the last few days @SnookyPook. Hope you are doing as okay as you can be.

I had the surgical management on Friday afternoon after a scan confirmed the medical management wasn't doing anything. Had a bit of a panic attack before the surgery but from what they've said it went okay, and they did a scan when still under anaesthetic which has them confident that they got everything. Pregnancy test to be taken 2 weeks after procedure.

Bleeding Saturday and Sunday has been very light. However yesterday and today has seemed a little heavier - not to the levels where they would be concerned as I'm not filling a pad, but every time I wipe it's bright red so very different to what I've had down there before. I also feel like using the toilet generally feels different and it's had me very freaked out. I'm waiting for a call back, but I think it's my anxiety rather than a problem. Just very freaked out generally by lots of little things and feeling like with my body feeling different I don't feel as much like me as normal, but I know it's my anxiety and me being silly.

@Khanga27 Glad you're home and recovering. I found peeing and bowel movements a little painful for a few days after the surgery. It's very normal. There's been a bit of trauma in that region.

It's very natural to feel anxious after what you've been through. Take it very easy. Xx

@SnookyPook I'm sorry to read your update too. Sending love. Xx

@SnookyPook really sorry to hear your update. I think finding out early is a much different experience than a MMC and sounds like you are saying the right things to yourself 🌈💞 it will happen

Hope all ok for you @Khanga27 there's something in another stage being over meaning you can mentally and physically move on to the next. They are all stepping stones to get you where you want to be. Be kind to yourself and lean on others when you can xx

Thanks all ❤️ Bleeding started this morning 😌

@Khanga27 glad you are out the other side of surgery. As sweetpotato said, these things are all stepping stones. Sending lots of love and hugs for this next phase of recovery.

@Khanga27 I remember so vividly feeling hypersensitive to every bodily twinge - it’s natural to be on high alert after such a traumatic (emotionally and physically) experience. I remember writing somewhere on here that it would take a while to feel safe in my body again. I don’t feel those anxieties anywhere near the same level now. It’s good you’re seeking information and assurance - you deserve to ask for that. Do allow yourself the time this takes. And make day to day choices that give you rest, comfort, safety wherever you can. This will be behind you soon enough.

Hope you’re doing ok with the bleeding @SnookyPook. My chemical pregnancy (at least, I think it was that - cycle before I conceived MMC) was weirdly lighter than my usual period, but I’ve read enough on here to know everyone’s experience is different. Look after yourself 💛

Hey, I know it's been a long time since we last checked in. @SnookyPook I wanted to see how you're doing as you've been on my mind 💞 hope that you've been as well as can be mentally and emotionally!

@sweetpotato29 ah that's sweet of you, thank you. Unfortunately my run of bad luck continues! I fell pregnant again the cycle after my CP and then had another miscarriage at 7 weeks on Halloween... 😌 I knew from early on that it wasn't looking good though as the HCG levels were shocking and they were actually suspecting ectopic so by the time I started bleeding I was quite relieved not to have ruptured or needed methotrexate. It's been a rough year but I'm doing as ok as can be. Now waiting for a referral to fertility clinic and hoping for brighter days in 2024. 🙏🏻🌈

Oh @SnookyPook I'm so sorry to hear that. You don't deserve to go through all this anguish, I know it must be incredibly hard and emotions are all over the place. Sending you a big hug and lots of love 💞

This hasn't been your year... but it doesn't mean that next year won't be. You've managed to fall pregnant several times which has to be a good sign. I hope this means that you can get some more support to investigate what's happening, hopefully they can advise you on some tweaks or things to take which may help next time! Keep me updated (only if you feel like it!) as always here to vent or chat to if you need to xx

@sweetpotato29 thank you so much 💕