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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

This forum seems so quiet...

170 replies

SnookyPook · 18/04/2023 08:24

... I know everyone is grieving but I just miss the comraderie of the Pregnancy board and just feeling so sad knowing they are still all excitedly discussing their pregnancies. There were constant updates and things to catch up on every time I logged on. This time last week I was chatting with them and oblivious to what was coming... I just feel so sad right now and everything is so quiet and sad here by comparison. I guess I'm just coming to terms with the loss some more.

I burst into tears trying to think what to have for breakfast just now because I feel like what's the point now it's not nourishing my little one any more?

Sorry I don't know what I'm wanting to say. How is everyone else getting on? Anyone else right in the thick of it? Anyone further down the line and starting to feel little glimmers if hope again? Hope you're all ok. X

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Original poster
SnookyPook · 06/06/2023 21:15

@sweetpotato29 @BuzzieBo sending you both massive hugs - our rainbow babies will come 🌈💕

@BuzzieBo oh that's so hard. One of my friends had her 2nd on Saturday and our WattsApp group with other Mum friends is full of cute baby pics and videos of the older one stroking his head etc and I'm thrilled for her but it is so hard to see and knowing that could have been me in October and now... It just isn't. It's a different kind of grief isn't it from losing someone from your life, because it's all the hopes and potential that are gone and just leave you with nothing... Not even happy memories of a life well lived etc.

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Original poster
SnookyPook · 12/06/2023 07:59

Morning! How's everyone doing? From other threads I know we have another BFP or two..?

I'm 13dpo, still not tested but also pretty certain AF will appear tomorrow. Have had raging pms the last few days and now I've got my usual 'pre-period cramps' - although tbf they are less conclusive as also had them the two times I was pregnant! However, some very very light spotting today and just a feeling so, trying to gear up to go into another cycle. It's really hitting me more this month. Last month I was just relieved that everything was working again but this month it feels like a bit more of a slap in the face. I sobbed yesterday and uncovered another layer of grief about the miscarriage I think. Ah well. Onwards and upwards. Hope everyone else is ok?

I also know those who've had the BFPs are likely all over the place emotionally etc too as I'm sure I would be! So... Hugs for everyone!!

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Swillis09 · 12/06/2023 08:32

Morning!
Really glad to catch up with everyone’s situation and fingers crossed for some positive news!

unfortunately, I’m stuck in some limbo at the moment because AF hasn’t returned since the MMC which was two months today. I have had a bit of nausea, tender breast, mild cramping and some very familiar feelings but pregnancy tests are all showing as negative - It would be 4 - 5 weeks since conception so it would be showing as positive by now… I’ve got an appt with my GP next week so just praying everything went ok with the op and I don’t need any follow up surgery. Never wanted AF more in my life!

Original poster
SnookyPook · 12/06/2023 09:30

@Swillis09 ah bless you, that's tough. It's always horrible to be in limbo. Glad you've got a GP appointment set up, although fingers crossed for you that AF decides to make an appearance before then. It's mad how long a couple of months can feel when you're hoping for a baby isn't it. Big hugs to you and keep us posted. X

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Backtobed · 12/06/2023 09:47

Hi all, glad to see others are moving forwards. Like @Swillis09 I'm also in limbo waiting for AF. I was finally given a prescription for provera to bring on a bleed last week so hoping I'll start a bleed soon. Then I've got to wait a full cycle and I can go back on clomid and hopefully start trying again. It feels like everything is taking so long, just hoping it doesn't take so long to get pregnant again this time as I'm really struggling x

Original poster
SnookyPook · 12/06/2023 12:22

@Backtobed so sorry to hear that you are also stuck in frustrating limbo. Hadn't heard of provera before - hope it works for you and you can start getting back into things. Hugs!

Meanwhile AF has now officially arrived for me. After feeling devastated yesterday I'm feeling a bit more philosophical about it today and especially with it put into perspective with you ladies who are still in limbo - not saying that smugly btw but hopefully you get what I mean. Really hope you both get your AFs soon too and then we can all go through the next cycle together. 💕

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BuzzieBo · 12/06/2023 12:30

Hi @SnookyPook sorry to hear AF has arrived. I also had a little cry when my period last arrived - thought I would be pregnant again by now.
I'm trying to tell myself that now I've got another opportunity to spend a few weeks focusing on me. The gym, eating healthy and enjoying things which I won't be able to do pregnant or with a baby. I'm finding that helps.

Original poster
SnookyPook · 12/06/2023 13:49

@BuzzieBo yes, exactly this. Just getting into eating a bit better again etc so focusing on helping the little eggs in there to be as healthy as possible so hopefully when the time is right I can make a gorgeous little rainbow baby. 🤞🏻🌈

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Oxalis00 · 12/06/2023 13:53

Good to hear a few updates from people. I’m still in limbo land like some others (waiting for results on possible molar, not yet cycling again after D&C) but really glad to feel part of a group who understand and can share the journey, and perhaps even sketch a map for those following behind. I’m certainly appreciating accounts of cycles after MC and TTC again. Just started today to feel hopeful about one day TTC again myself but feelings are up and down so we’ll see!

Wishing everyone well, wherever you’re at x

Original poster
SnookyPook · 12/06/2023 15:37

Good to hear from you too @Oxalis00 and sorry you're still in limbo. Nice that that seed of hope is beginning to take root for you. I think ups and downs are a very natural part of this journey! Do let us know how you get on with your results etc. Hugs to you!

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Hankthehonk · 13/06/2023 06:58

@SnookyPook I'm sorry this wasn't your month- glad you're feeling slightly better and focusing on positives again.

I can't believe I'm posting this but I got a bfp this morning. I'm 9dpo after a really weird cycle where I ovulated on cd38. I've felt a bit nauseous and had backache the past couple of days and just had a feeling so I tested but didn't actually expect a clear line today.

It hasn't really sunk in yet so I just feel excited and kind of in shock but I'm sure anxiety will kick in soon as well.

I had my mc at 8 weeks in March so this bfp is 12 weeks after the loss on my second ovulatory cycle.

This forum seems so quiet...
BuzzieBo · 13/06/2023 07:05

@Hankthehonk Amazing!! Congratulations!

Oxalis00 · 13/06/2023 07:12

Wow @Hankthehonk that’s amazing!! Hooray!

Hankthehonk · 13/06/2023 07:28

@BuzzieBo @Oxalis00 thank you both and I'm sorry you're both still feeling like you're in limbo, for different reasons. The 12 weeks since my loss has felt so long and has been such a rollercoaster, in terms of emotions and also what my body is doing. Sorry if sharing bfp news I insensitive when many of you are having a tough time at the moment x

Original poster
SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 08:32

@Hankthehonk amazing!!! 😍 And after your weird cycle too! I know you'd been a bit bothered by that! I can't speak for everyone of course but in my case I find that the BFPs of other women who have been through loss and struggles are really quite wonderful as they bring hope. It's also lovely to be able to feel excitement on your behalf. It gives me hope that my own little rainbow will come along when the time is right. 🌈🥰 Sending loads of positive vibes your way!!

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Hankthehonk · 13/06/2023 08:47

@SnookyPook thank you! I feel exactly the same, nothing but joy for others who have experienced loss then get bfp - but after I posted I realised not everyone might feel that way and I was dumping my news in the middle of posts about struggles.
I really hope you get your own bfp soon, I'm sure you will. I so hope this one sticks for me, can't begin to contemplate going through another loss

Original poster
SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 09:10

@Hankthehonk everything crossed for you! There are a few others who've just had positives after loss too - been with them on another thread and can't remember if it's one you were on! Might be nice for you to be able to go through the early pregnancy nerves with others at a similar stage! Everything crossed for you!

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Hankthehonk · 13/06/2023 09:18

@SnookyPook thank you so much, I'll head over there as well! We're on so many threads together haha. But I don't think I joined in on that ttc May one because my cycle was a write off in May - I ovulated early June so I'm on another June ttc thread!

Original poster
SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 10:38

Haha yes I really feel like we're 'friends' as yours is one of the names I see lots and think 'oh good, she's commented' haha.

Will be so lovely if this is your BFP 🌈

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Hankthehonk · 13/06/2023 10:59

@SnookyPook
I'm glad you said that as I think that as well 😂I think because we've been so aligned on this journey, our previous pregnancies were at exactly the same time and you were just behind me with your loss. I've really appreciated your virtual friendship! Hope our journeys align again very very soon with a bfp for you.

Original poster
SnookyPook · 13/06/2023 11:15

@Hankthehonk ah that's nice to hear 🥰 yes that's exactly it, our journeys have been pretty aligned! Would be lovely if my BFP follows shortly!! 🤞🏻

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BuzzieBo · 20/06/2023 12:45

Hey everyone,

How are you all getting on? I'm 5 DPO but not holding out much hope as we didn't DTD much this month as I've managed to injure my back 🤦‍♀️
Quick question...just wondering if anyone has any tips for managing hearing other people's baby/pregnany talk? I'm doing really well after being in a bad place after my MC in March but still struggle talking to my friends about their pregnancies and seeing a FB annoucment today has hit me hard. I desperately just want to be happy for them.

Original poster
SnookyPook · 20/06/2023 13:08

Hey Buzzie. Sorry to hear you're having a bit of a tough month. Bad backs are horrible - you doing ok? Do you think it's just muscular? Hope it clears for you soon. Those months where you don't have much hope are awful as you still end up getting so into the tww (from my own experience at least!) - it's a shame you can't just fast forward to the next cycle isn't it?! I'm currently in fertile week but just really don't know what to expect. DH has an intense week at work so not sure how much we'll manage. Toddler just had a weird sick bug too but 🤞🏻 we seem to have avoided that....

Baby talk is so hard isn't it. Cos like you say, you're genuinely happy for people but aware of a slight bitterness and sting to it all that was never there before. I've had two people close to me give birth in the last couple of weeks so have had to confront babies full on. My one friend who is lovely and supported me lots through the loss just gave me a big hug as I held her newborn and had a cry... Very poignant. Meant a lot to me that she could acknowledge my joy for her and my own grief in that moment.

The other newborn is my niece who was born prematurely and is still in NICU - she's fine but the fact it's been rough on my SiL and she's had to go home leaving little one in hospital etc has given me a different focus in a way and I just feel bad for her that she's had a rough start which has taken focus off other things. I think in a way, it's harder seeing the announcements of pregnancies and seeing people at the stage I'd be at compared to the babies. I'm really feeling the lack of bump this week. Just knowing where we'd have been up to. It's hard isn't it.

In answer to your question, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to manage it. For me personally, it has helped to be quite honest with people about where I'm at whilst trying to not be too much of a Debbie Downer for them. Sending a big hug your way. X

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BuzzieBo · 20/06/2023 13:43

@SnookyPook wow your story of holding your friends newborn and having a little cry while she hugged you has me tearing up! Sounds like a very special moment and such a supportive friend ❤️
Yes I think it's just muscular, I threw myself into the gym as a bit of a coping mechanism but perhaps got a bit carried away 😂 still counting down the TTW even though its not likely 😂
That's a lot going on for you! Trying to fit it in around busy working lives it's always difficult, especially when there's only a few days to make the most of! My fertile week always seems to fall at the most inconvenient times!