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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Journey after miscarriage support thread March 2023

622 replies

SMG1992 · 27/03/2023 07:50

Hi All,

I've started a new thread as the other was at page 39.
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm still just about in my fertile window - I got my LH surge yesterday.

The clocks going forward has hot me a little bit, but I'm looking forward to brighter evenings.

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Rainbowdust1993 · 21/05/2023 00:57

@SnookyPook YES! About the alcohol thing. I literally could not bring myself to drink a glass of wine after my MC. I can’t explain it but I felt like it was sort of final if I did, in a weird way. I think I was just in denial and sad that I could now drink. I tried to promise myself I wouldn’t touch it again, but in all honesty it helped me relax. Don’t be too hard on yourself about what you’re eating and drinking. Adding that stress onto the already stress of ttc is hard enough. X

Rainbowdust1993 · 21/05/2023 08:13

So I started with brown discharge this morning which is what happened at the start of my last miscarriage. Had brown discharge for a week and then the red blood. So I’m gutted as I feel like this is the start of it. Can’t believe this could be happening to me again and losing another baby!! Feeling so deflated like what is wrong with me?! 😔😔

SnookyPook · 21/05/2023 08:37

@Rainbowdust1993 oh goodness how scary for you. I'll say the usual... Bleeding in pregnancy can be absolutely fine.. but I know that will feel hollow until you know what's going on. Will you be able to get to EPU today or is it likely to be tomorrow? Really hope they can see you asap. In the meantime, know that we are here with you sending hugs and every good wish possible. 💕

Rainbowdust1993 · 21/05/2023 08:57

@SnookyPook Thank you. I know it can be normal I just didn’t get it with my little boy and this is how it started with my miscarriage in March so not feeling hopeful 😔 EPU is closed until tomorrow so will ring tomorrow. Suppose it is out of my control whatever is happening just a wait and see situation as I’m only 4 weeks. Thanks so much If I didn’t have this group I wouldn’t know where to turn x

Hankthehonk · 21/05/2023 09:26

@Rainbowdust1993 I can only imagine how distressing it is seeing that spotting but it still might be ok. Really hope you can get support from epu tomorrow. I'm sure today will feel long, be kind to yourself.
Whatever happens, this group is here x

SnookyPook · 21/05/2023 09:30

@Rainbowdust1993 I really hope it's all ok but just remember, even if it isn't, that doesn't mean the end of your journey. My poor sister unfortunately had a MMC followed by 3 chemicals/very early losses a few years ago. She went on to have 2 gorgeous healthy children. I know it's not an immediate comfort when facing loss but it is perhaps some hope to cling to if the worst happens. 💕

DmcinT · 21/05/2023 10:10

@Rainbowdust1993 oh I have everything crossed for u ❤️❤️❤️ Such a worrying day not being able to get into epu but remember everything could be ok at the same time 🤞🏽Keeping everything crossed xxx

Oxalis00 · 21/05/2023 20:13

Oh @Rainbowdust1993 what a worrying time. The not knowing is so hard. Whatever happens just know you’re not alone.

Oxalis00 · 21/05/2023 20:16

@SnookyPook I totally get the alcohol thing! I only had my first drink yesterday, more than 3 weeks after MC, and before that there was like a weird block where it just felt wrong. These little details that we run into in the everyday are hard, I find - like you say, things like the milestones, the moments of interaction with others when your feelings bubble up… It’s just there all the time and yet somehow unreal and intangible too. So much more complicated that I would ever have guessed before experiencing it.

Oxalis00 · 21/05/2023 20:19

@Hankthehonk I feel for you. I can hear how exhausted you are. I totally find that the more drained and run down my body the more unmanageable the emotions. Everything feels harder and more bleak and hopeless when I’m tired and haven’t eaten well. Sounds like you’ve had a really busy and objectively full on time recently and a breath to reset is exactly what you need. I hope it’ll give you the space to settle in body and mind.

Hankthehonk · 21/05/2023 20:32

@Oxalis00 Thank you for your kind words. It helps to feel heard. I've spent the weekend helping a friend move house and solo parenting while my husband works. So still exhausted! Counting the hours until our flight on Wednesday.

In amongst all this I couldn't track ovulation properly whilst travelling and I had kind of written off this month for ttc. But yesterday I had spotting and cramping. It's gone now, from what I've read it could have been implantation bleeding. I'd be somewhere between 5-8 dpo so the timing fits.
Trying not to get my hopes up too much but IF I'm pregnant again (feels bizarre and too much to hope for even writing that), it would also help explain how extreme my exhaustion and mood swings have been.
I'm packing period stuff and pregnancy tests for our trip 🙃

SnookyPook · 21/05/2023 23:02

It's so nice being able to talk to people who 'get it' - no-one around me has understood my reticence around having a drink.

@Hankthehonk oh wow... Everything crossed for you. Would be typical for it to be a month you really weren't trying/hoping! Do keep us posted!

Mostly just thinking of @Rainbowdust1993 this evening and hoping you're ok and that you get reassurance tomorrow. 💕

Rainbowdust1993 · 21/05/2023 23:09

@Hankthehonk @SnookyPook @Oxalis00 @DmcinT Thank you so much ladies ❤️ Still had the brown discharge, but also have painful lower back pain. Taken painkillers and have a hot water bottle on it. Will let you know how I get on tomorrow ❤️❤️

xxcxdonxx · 22/05/2023 04:20

Thinking of you @Rainbowdust1993 and that you are able to get an early appointment at epu 💜

xxcxdonxx · 22/05/2023 04:36

Hope you are ok @Hankthehonk i used to do a lot of travelling in my old job and I know how exhausting it is and the toll is takes on you, cue bursting into tears in a cafe when my mum asked me how work was going! I can only imagine how that then feels when navigating loss and TTC again too.
I really get the alcohol thing, I even get weird when people ask me if I want a drink as if they are somehow making a point that I’m not pregnant anymore which of course they aren’t. Strange where your mind takes you.
Keeping everything crossed for you xx

xxcxdonxx · 26/05/2023 09:21

Hi ladies, how are you all doing? I am feeling super deflated today. We were trying this month and I was feeling quite positive about it. I started getting a little bit of brown blood about 7 dpo (Monday) which I wasn't too concerned about as I have had it before with my successful pregnancies but today it looks like it has developed into a period 🙁 I know that it isn't 100% accurate but according to my app, my period wouldn't be due for another 5/6 days so I wondered if this has been another chemical pregnancy, although I never actually tested positive. I know I am being irrational but with all my previous pregnancies including losses, I have fallen pregnant straight away. It feels like I knew I always had that going for me even if latterly the pregnancies didn't continue but now that doesn't seem to be the case any more either. Just feeling a bit low and sorry for offloading!

SnookyPook · 26/05/2023 10:40

@xxcxdonxx ah sorry you're having a tough few days. It's so hard isn't it when all your hopes are pinned on something and then it seems to not be happening and you know you've got to wait a whole other month. I am trying to psych myself up for a bit of a rollercoaster this month as it's first month TTC again after our loss in April and I know it will be really tough if it's not a BFP (whilst also knowing the chances of that happening first time are pretty low). I think we just have to ride these moments out and go gently on ourselves. I'm sorry I've nothing more useful to offer than a virtual hug and some solidarity but I hope that helps a teeny bit. Xx

Oxalis00 · 26/05/2023 11:15

Oh @xxcxdonxx that’s so hard. I was thinking the same just today, that at least I get pregnant quickly - as if what’s happened before defined the future. I completely understand the extra disappointment that expectation puts on you. How strange that your period is early - I guess maybe your body is still resetting after your loss? Would a chemical pregnancy happen before your period is due, I thought it would be after? I don’t know though. I realise now there’s so little I know or can control in this whole mad process, and that’s hard! Anyway, it’s ok to be sad and disappointed and frustrated and whatever it is you feel. You’re not alone. Xx

xxcxdonxx · 26/05/2023 16:33

@SnookyPook @Oxalis00
Thanks ladies, I think it’s the frustration what feels like ‘wasting’ another month when in reality it’s not that at all, it’s just living life. I’ll be 38 later in the year and it really plays on my mind that it now won’t be as easy this time around.
Thank you for your kind words, another week or so and I’ll be back to tracking ovulation so fingers crossed for then.
Sending lots of positive thoughts for you TTC this month @SnookyPook 🥰

SnookyPook · 26/05/2023 17:07

@xxcxdonxx thank you and I completely get where you're at. I'm also 38 at the end of this year and it's played on my mind too. Still, plenty of women older than us still have healthy pregnancies so let's be optimistic that our rainbow babies are on their way! 🥰

xxcxdonxx · 26/05/2023 17:33

Exactly @SnookyPook 💜 If a friend my age was talking about having another baby I wouldn’t think anything of it. I just need to be kinder to myself!

Wanderlust86 · 26/05/2023 17:53

Hi everyone,
I've read through this whole thread today and it really has made me feel a bit better/more hopeful.
I'm currently in the process of a miscarriage. 😥 I went for a private scan on Wednesday at what should have been 8+6 and was told baby stopped growing at 6 and had no heartbeat. I was fully aware that miscarriage could happen and said multiple times to OH "let's not get too excited" but for some reason I really didn't think it would happen.
It's just so shit isn't it 😔
I started getting cramps last night and pink/brown spotting since then. I feel like now that my brain knows my body has started the process, maybe not but who knows. I feel terrible saying this but I wish it would just happen now rather than drag out. The private clinic contacted EPU and I have an appointment there on Wed but would prefer it to happen naturally.
I've cried less today than past 2 days but I feel so sad.
Sorry for everyone's past losses and congratulations to those who are pregnant again x

Wanderlust86 · 26/05/2023 17:56

Also, good luck to everyone ttc again! I will hopefully start trying again as soon as I can.

Oxalis00 · 26/05/2023 21:46

@xxcxdonxx @SnookyPook I’m 38 later this year too! How weird…

Oxalis00 · 26/05/2023 21:49

@Wanderlust86 I’m really sorry you find yourself here, but I’m glad you’ve found some hope in the stories of those a little further on than you. I did too when I arrived a few weeks ago. Rest assured these horrible days pass and you will keep going. Sounds like you’re getting good care but feel free to ask any questions x