Journey after miscarriage support thread March 2023

[SMG1992]

Hi All,

I've started a new thread as the other was at page 39.
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm still just about in my fertile window - I got my LH surge yesterday.

The clocks going forward has hot me a little bit, but I'm looking forward to brighter evenings.

@SnookyPook Hi we are good how about you?

Happy and extremely nervous to say that we got out BFP yesterday at 10DPO. Faint lines but definitely there.
Really cautious this time after my MC end of March and we’ve decided not to tell a soul until we know everything is ok and it feels right to share.
Crazy how I feel I can share with you guys though straight away.

Really hoping for a healthy pregnancy and baby this time 🤞🏼
Hope everyone is doing well and gets their BFP soon!!! ❤️❤️

@Rainbowdust1993 many congratulations to you and hope that it all goes well ❤️
I am on 10 DPO today but super nervous to test after an MMC early april at 11 weeks.
didnt have a period in between but doc confirmed ovulation around 7/8 May. I think I’ll wait a bit until I test…

@Iammagic All you can do is what you feel is best for you! My lines were all super faint but definitely there so have decided to retest on Monday the day my period would be due as I will be 16DPO then.

lots of baby dust to you 🤞🏼❤️🤞🏼❤️

@Rainbowdust1993 indeed, thank you. Will share irrespective of how it goes!

enjoy your BFP! We all deserve it!

Congratulations @Rainbowdust1993 ❤️

@Rainbowdust1993 congratulations! Enjoy the moment 🥰🌈💕

@

@Rainbowdust1993 aww wow that’s brilliant news, congratulations!!!

@Iammagic @JJ2023 @SnookyPook @xxcxdonxx Thank you. If im honest I’m trying not to think about it at all so I don’t get my hopes up with the worry of something happening again. Having a few cramps tonight I don’t know if it’s mind over matter or just implantation but it’s not fun on my anxiety 🥲
Pregnancy after loss just takes away all the excitement 💔

hope you are all doing well? ❤️

Congratulations @Rainbowdust1993 ! But I hear you on the worry and sensitivity to every little sensation in your body. I feel like experiencing miscarriage opens up a whole new world of experience and anxiety that lots of people don’t even know is there. And once you’ve entered that world you can’t just go back to the sunshine! As I read on another thread, this is a different egg, a different sperm, and the odds are in your favour. One step at a time, one day at a time…

Feeling a bit glum and worried today as still bleeding and testing positive 3 weeks on and have to go back for a scan. I thought I was past the worst, but am thrown right back into the uncertainty, and potentially the decision-making again. Feel like time is just slipping away when all I want is a period and a fresh start. I never knew a miscarriage could take so long!

Congratulations @Rainbowdust1993, amazing news.

I got a peak ovulation test today so looks like my cycles are back on track.

In other news I went for a smear test on Thursday and I wasn't allowed to have it, apparently they can't carry it out until 3 weeks after a MC. Just in the last vent anyone is due one x

I’d heard 3 months @Nmvasey85 ?

@Oxalis00 sorry that's what I meant to type 🙈

@Oxalis00 I really feel for you, I'd been beginning to feel quite down that my body wasn't showing signs of moving on etc however, this morning I started with some period pain and now AF has arrived. It's 5 weeks today since my miscarriage bleeding started up. Never thought I'd be so relieved to get a period! Hang on in there, a couple of weeks can make a lot of difference. I hope your rescan goes ok and no retained products etc. Big hugs xxx

@Nmvasey85 so exciting! It's a relief to know things are going back to normal isn't it. Lots of healthy baby dust to you 🤞🏻🌈💕

@Oxalis00 I feel you! 6,5 weeks since MMC and no AF with negative tests! Frustrating..
but hang in there..you are not alone! We will get through this 🍀🍀

I was testing positive until week 4!

Thanks @SnookyPook and @Iammagic Really appreciate the kindness and solidarity. Scan showed some retained products but I was advised to wait till next period. We’ll see... It’s good to know from you two (and the rest of this thread) that a week or two can make all the difference. A bit strange to say, but hooray for AF Snooky! Keep us posted :)

@Rainbowdust1993 delighted to see your news, huge congrats❤️🥳

@Iammagic similar to u I had a MMC at 11 weeks at the end of March, D&C start of April, I’m so sorry for ur loss, hope ur doing ok❤️ Sending all the baby dust ur way xx

@Oxalis00 I hope ur doing ok. I’m 6 weeks out from a MMC and just got AF this week but still have hcg in my system so still testing vvf positive on tests. I also ovulated at hcg 31 and got af when hcg was 11. I’m back in Tuesday as they can’t release me until I’m under 5 but thought it was interesting that I could ovulate and get af with hcg in my system/blood

That’s really interesting @DmcinT thanks for sharing. Impressive level of detail! Do/did you have any retained products, or is it just taking hormones a while to reduce for some reason?

@Rainbowdust1993 Congratulations, that's wonderful news!
@SnookyPook Also really happy for you that you got your period (such a weird thing to feel/write, but it's all about getting our cycles back on track).

I'm struggling a bit, I've had a big cry this evening. I've had an intense couple of weeks with my work being the most full-on it's ever been - lots of travel, stress, drinking alcohol, eating poorly, not enough sleep. I had been looking after myself really well (whilst obsessing about ttc again) for the couple of months straight after the loss, but all that has gone down the drain this past fortnight and I feel really guilty.
I'm totally exhausted, I can feel that I've run myself into the ground. Each of the last three days, grief about the loss has hit me out of nowhere and been compounded by this guilt. I'm home now, and soon will be on holiday (leaving on Wednesday for a week), I suppose I need a bit of a reset, and to get back to doing the right things for ttc.

@Hankthehonk ah bless you. Funnily enough I've had a few big cries the last couple of days, having been quite ok for a couple of weeks. I kept flitting to unhelpful thoughts like 'I bet my bump would have been beginning to show more' etc. I think also, although it's great my period has returned, I also know that means I've ovulated and counting back, we did actually DTD around the right time so part of me is upset I didn't get pregnant again straight away which is ridiculous really and I don't even think I'd have been in quite the right headspace this month but it is what it is.

I've been having some wine and not being as top-tier healthy as I could be recently and I think that has affected me. Does anyone else feel almost sad/guilty when they drink alcohol?! I think in a weird way it just highlights the loss etc more. Not that I've been having loads but I think I'm going to cut right back again and as you say, try to focus on getting my body as healthy as possible. It's the only thing we can control really isn't it so I guess it's good to do something proactive!

So glad you've got your holiday coming up! Mine did me the world of good! I hope you have a wonderful time and manage that reset. ❤️

@SnookyPook Thank you, it really does help knowing I'm not alone and reminds me that the journey after loss isn't a straight line. I give myself a hard time for not being ok, or not being good enough (drinking, stress, etc) but I'd never apply that same judgement to anyone else.
I have such mixed feelings about drinking - I know I shouldn't be drinking much or maybe at all but I am generally quite a big social drinker and there's another part of my brain that says if I'm not pregnant it's one of the pros and I deserve to relax and enjoy myself sometimes. I haven't been drinking to excess this past week, but I was involved in organising a conference with dinners and drinks receptions each night so 2 or 3 wines a day...which I suppose technically is drinking to excess, but I never felt drunk.
I wish I could find a balance where I am being healthy enough to give us a better chance of getting pregnant without missing out on the things I enjoy or being too hard on myself. Instead I feel like I've fallen off a wagon and it's hard to get back on.

@Oxalis00 no retained product thank god. They did internal US and CT scan to check as hcg was painfully slow at coming down (I was in every 48 hrs to check levels) but it could be because I was 11 weeks and it was triplets 😪💔 so probably x3 all the hormones

@SnookyPook @Hankthehonk I deff think all those feeling and thoughts are normal, I’ve been feeling v similar esp on the having a drink front. I have one and feel guilty for some reason so just stop but I’ve deff not been as healthy as I usually am. I did start back running yesterday though (v stiff & sore today) and booked in for 2 gym classes this week. We’ve 4 weeks until a wedding abroad so I need to start focusing on that and pray we get bfp in the meantime 🤞🏽❤️