Journey after miscarriage support thread March 2023

[SMG1992]

Hi All,

I've started a new thread as the other was at page 39.
I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'm still just about in my fertile window - I got my LH surge yesterday.

The clocks going forward has hot me a little bit, but I'm looking forward to brighter evenings.

Yeah i think joining threads like this & talking openly i realise its more common than i realised but still difficult to accept. A few parents in the school yard have asked if i wanted another or commented that i did the easiest thing just having one.... i was honest & said id tried but kept miscarrying or havent been able to conceive. Fingers crossed one day x

@Ttc2023x Eugh people are so thoughtless aren't they! I'd definitely be giving them what for, for assuming I had one child by choice.

To the new people joining this thread - I'm sorry for your losses, and that you find yourself in the worst club :( but it does help to be able to talk here with others who have been through it.

Another milestone in my post mc journey today - my first period has arrived, exactly 6 weeks after my loss. I ovulated 2 weeks ago and we did ttc, and if you've seen any of my recent posts you'll know I've been obsessing over faint lines. To the extent that I am actually relieved to see AF, 1) because I can stop testing, wondering, hoping, stressing and 2) because it means my cycles are completely back and on schedule. Obviously I'm sad that it didn't work but the chances of falling pregnant again right away were slim. The tww and testing frenzy really got to me in a way that it didn't before the loss, I think I transferred my anxiety and emotions from the mc onto the desperation to be pregnant again. I really hope I can be less obsessive next month/however many more months it takes.

Off on a friend's hen do this weekend and I will definitely be having a few gins and trying to enjoy myself.

@Hankthehonk ah bless you I'm glad you're out of limbo and it's great news that AF is back on schedule and hopefully means all systems go again. I hope you have a wonderful weekend at the hen-do.

Hello to the newbies and sorry you find yourselves joining us but hopefully there is some comfort in being part of a supportive community of women going through the same tough journey. Hugs to you all.

I'm a bit up and down today. Tomorrow would have been my official scan date and will be exactly 2 weeks since we discovered the MMC. So bit of a milestone to get past. A FB friend has also just uploaded a scan pic announcing her pregnancy and her due date is the week after mine would have been. Happy for her as it's something she's wanted for a while but it was a bit of a kick to the guts.

We're off on holiday on Monday and I'm really looking forward to a few days away from everything and just relaxing a bit.

@SnookyPook Sorry you're having a tough day - tomorrow might be tough too, by the sound of things, I hope you can just feel whatever you need to feel and recognise that these milestones matter. Is there something nice you could do for yourself tomorrow, or as a family, to make it easier?
Glad your holiday is nearly here, hopefully getting packed and organised will make the weekend go in quickly.
The news of your friend's pregnancy is bound to hurt even though the part of you that is pleased for her is genuine as well! Is it someone you're particularly close to?

I had a massive cry this morning, not so much about not being pregnant, but when I went into the drawer to get my period stuff, there was the pack of mega-pads my sister had to rush out and get for me when the mc was happening and normal pads weren't cutting it. I forgot they were in there and I had an actual flashback to when the mc bleeding started, it totally floored me. I guess over time these things will happen less often.

@Hankthehonk 😔 it's just so hard when those random moments floor you isn't it. The crying is cathartic though. Sometimes a good so is just what's needed.

The friend is more a friend of my sister's actually and my Sis had warned me before the announcement so I was a bit prepared at least. It's one of those weird things isn't it. It just makes you confront your loss again but I am genuinely pleased for her. I won't be seeing her loads or anything so it shouldn't be too tough.

Yeah I think just focusing on packing and letting myself have a good cry if I need to will be the order of the day!

I have just found this thread and I am so sorry and sad to read so many stories similar to mine. It’s hard to not feel like your the only person going through it all at the time. I had a MMC and D&C on April 7th, it’s been such a tough few weeks physically and emotionally.

im just wondering has anyone experienced anything similar to this.
I stopped bleeding CD5, had a bit of lower back pain for those few days but physically ok since that until yesterday CD20 &21 and now I’ve quite a bit of pain in my uterus (lower back) I’ve become very nauseous/ retching along with headaches. I did ovulation tests but all negative (still showing a faint positive on preg tests but I know that can take a few weeks to clear from your system) would this be a sign of retained product or has this happened anyone else?

thanks so much for any help x

@DmcinT I can't help with your specific question but just wanted to say sorry for your loss and that you're still experiencing pain and problems. I hope someone can offer advice x

Evening everyone!

Sorry for being so quiet the last couple of weeks. I've really struggled with the MC lately so I have made an appointment with my GP to hopefully get referred for some counselling🤞🏻 although I've been given the next available appointment which isn't until the 5th June. I feel so silly for still admitting I'm struggling as it was over 4 months ago now, I feel like I should be 'over it' but I'm not. No where near.

I'm not sure if counselling is even what I need - I don't know what I need, I just want this ache on my chest that I seem to carry round every day to go away.

I never thought TTC would be this hard when we first started!

I hope everyone is doing well! And those with BFPs a few weeks ago have sticky babies 🥰 xxx

@DmcinT so sorry for your loss. No specific answer to your question - do you still have a contact for your EPU? I know mine said that I should feel free to contact them at any point if I had further concerns or questions. Hope all is ok for you.

@mollibu so sorry that you're having such a hard time - I really think there is no right or wrong way to experience a miscarriage and no 'shoulds' concerning feelings and recovery etc. Exploring counselling definitely sounds worth a try. I hope it is helpful for you.

Bit of a random question... Did anyone notice being quite gassy at all after their miscarriage? I'm coming up to 2 weeks since it happened and the last couple of days I've had abdominal pain and quite a lot of gas. I didn't have surgery so it's not related to anaesthesia or anything. Do you think fluctuating hormones could be responsible (I know progesterone can make you gassy in early pregnancy so possibly affects after loss..?) - of course it could be completely unrelated but it's not really usual for me so just wondered if anyone else had noticed this! Google doesn't provide much insight so 🤷🏼‍♀️

@SnookyPook Cant say I noticed sorry - probably just your hormones going back to normal as your digestive tract slows down when pregnant due to hormones. Hope it all goes back to normal for you soon 💖

Started IVF meds last night (as my period arrived one hour too late to start on Weds according to the clinic 🙄). First scan on Tuesday and then hopefully it will only be a few more days until trigger shot and egg collection 😬

Good luck @TheBirdintheCave hope you collect lots of very fertile eggs!

@DmcinT sorry to hear about your recent loss.

I had medical management for MMC last month and unfortunately suffered from retained product which only passed 11 days ago (5 weeks after I took the pills). I continued to test faint positive for pregnancy, my temperature started soaring, I had night sweats and felt dizzy and nauseous. I then had cramping and passed a huge clot which made me panic and call EPU. They did a scan which confirmed the retained products came out when I passed the large clot.

I'd recommend contacting EPU for a scan and describe your symptoms. My close friend had D&C yesterday and they scanned her afterwards to confirm all was clear, she's overseas though and under private care. You'd have thought the NHS would offer this too though as it saves a lot of worry and wasted time further along the line.

@DmcinT after I passed the clot I went back to normal and all my symptoms disappeared. I came on my period literally the next day and am now beginning my LH surge. Definitely worth getting checked out as our bodies need to be clear to move on from the MC and resume normal cycles 💗

Sending you virtual hugs!

@fleur89 thanks so much for sharing your experience and I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope your starting to heal❤️
the day after my D&C they scanned me and did a CT to confirm there was nothing left and everything was removed. I’m sure it’s possible they missed something despite this. I’m going to ring EPU today and see what they think.

thanks again and best of luck this month, everything crossed for you x

@DmcinT hey sweet I’ve had retained products after my mc i pressured the epu into checking for them as they were like no it’s fine you’ll be clear but there it was and it still had a blood supply. Defo get checked as you don’t want a nasty infection also the positive pregnancy test is another indicator esp if the line isn’t getting fainter xxx
@mollibu hey sweet good on for going to the counselling it can do amazing things it saved my marriage a few years ago. Been thinking of you lots. Xxx
@TheBirdintheCave woohoo the time has finally arrived, how are u feeling? Hope the meds don’t affect you too much and you get some good numbers xxx
hey everyone else, people can be so bloody insensitive and single minded can’t they knobheads. My mantra is I won’t let people see my cry or the hurt in my face I keep it in till the car/house and let it out. love to you all xxx

@Chocolatebean So far so good! I think remembering to stay hydrated is going to be really hard for me 😂

How are you getting on?

@TheBirdintheCave 😂😂😂 totally I am rubbish at keeping hydrated keep forcing myself to neck some water lol
im ok thanks nothing to report either way. I’m terrified the whole time, got a scan on Monday which should by ovulation be 7+2 but I had a Mmc last time so just trying not to get my hopes up too much xxx

@Chocolatebean my first scan is Monday too, I'll be 6+6, fingers crossed we both see a strong heartbeat 💓 and healthy foetus!

I very rarely get headaches but I have such a bad headache today, it just won’t shift. I’m three days post MVA, and wondering if anyone else experienced similar?

I’m not worried about it, but I guess I’m thinking perhaps all the sudden hormonal changes could be causing such a strong headache!

Hope you’re all doing ok xx

@YearoftheRabbit23 heres hoping and praying for both of us sweet xxx
@JJ2023 i did I had one or 2 flashy light migraines a day I lived on triptans for about a week it was awful but then stopped as my hormones must have gone back to normal xxx

@Chocolatebean thanks❤️ And I’m sorry for your loss and everything your going through. I called EP and they told me to go straight in. They did a scan and there’s no retained product but there was a dark circle that they thought could be fluid or a new pregnancy. I’ve to ring in in the morning to get my new hcg and see has it increased or decreased since Wednesday

Thanks for responding @Chocolatebean 😘

@mollibu Don’t feel silly for needing some help, four months ago is still really recent and there is no right or wrong timeline for processing something like this. I had some counselling after my miscarriage until I became pregnant again, and it was so helpful to talk to someone outside of the situation.

@Chocolatebean @YearoftheRabbit23 Best of luck with your scans on Monday!