Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

I feel the same @Chocolatebean - I'm either not ovulating, having an early period, or having awful ovulation pains making dtd difficult, such a rollercoaster. I think the thing about being super fertile after a mc has set me up for disappointment, had my mc surgery 29th December but cycles haven't even settled yet. Still, we keep going I suppose!

@Enigma85 the only comfort I can give you is the month I had awful ovulation pain was the month I got pregnant it just sadly didn’t last. Before the mc I used to feel like everything was in sync and knew what it was doing and felt right I’m a bit worried but there’s nothing we can do at this point really. Haha yeah me too the thing about being super fertile and if you get pregnant within 3 months if the mc you’re less likely to mc well that’s wonderful if you can make it happen 🤦‍♀️

I got my first day of flashing smileys today, I’ve been dtd every day since CD7 anyway as I’m not 100% sure what my cycles are doing post mc
I hope it doesn’t flash for 9/10 like I’ve heard some people say!!

im a bit annoyed with dh today following his antics on a night out (nothing too bad) but just feels like he may not be taking this as seriously as me. I also know he must have had a lot of steam to get rid of and would have wanted to feel normal again after our m so I’m trying not to hold a grudge. Such a bloody rollercoaster!

Thanks @Chocolatebean we dtd and followed the SMEP this time, annoyingly everything was looking like CD12 ovulation but now my app says it was CD11, I'm worried that's a bit early?

@SMG1992 I dont think they do take it as seriously as us, my dp still seems to think we dtd and its job done he has no idea about the phase lengths and why I'm worried it's too early to ovulate, or that my luteal phases aren't long enough! He's like "what will be will be" and I eye roll. Sounds like your dh may well have been letting off steam, I know from our mc that he didn't really deal with it in a totally healthy way. Just be kind to each other and dtd when you can xx

Hey guys
@SMG1992 my hubby is similar he’s been great taking the vitamins I give him but is very happy with the fact that we have plenty of time and that I still have 1000s of eggs so it’s guaranteed ( I’m 40 in July ) he is very over weight and eats mostly crap mind you he has decided to cut massively down on caffeine and he doesn’t drink so maybe I shouldn’t complain lol x
hey @Enigma85 what dpo are you now? Apparently I’m 4 dpo and feel absolutely nothing I’m not even sure I ovulated so really don’t have much hope but I’ve even taken some co codamol and am tempted to glue a glass of wine I’m that sure it won’t have worked. We did the SMEP as well. I think cd 11 is ok it’s more the luteal phase after you’ve ovulated that’s more important. Xxx

Hi all,

Hope everyone has had a nice weekend 💐

So, it’s 7 week’s tomorrow since surgical management. Where’s my period?! 😔Definitely not pregnant. It’s 4 week’s tomorrow since my HCG was undetectable. When does cycle restart from? No HCG or procedure?

The last couple of cycles before my pregnancy were 38 days and 42 days, so maybe I shouldn’t panic too much? I have PCOS and cycle lengths are certainly longer than average.

Scan 3 weeks post surgical management showed a lining of 9mm, no retained products and also no ovulation.

Oops - I meant tomorrow is 6 weeks, not 7 weeks since surgical management

So I'm currently going through a MMC and waiting for a second scan to "confirm", although the writing is on the wall. Going back and forth between surgical and medical management. I was initially going to go for surgical as I have a 12 month old and didn't want to face going through it all at home. However I spoke with my sister who is a doctor with experience in this field and she said it's harder for your body to get back to normal cycles after the surgery as it's not as "natural" in terms of impact on your body compared to medical and therefore your body takes longer to figure out what's normal again. Therefore she advised medical if I wanted to get pregnant again soon (I do). Reading this thread it seems a few of you are taking a while to get your period back after surgery. Wondering if she's therefore right and it takes a bit longer etc. 🤔

Hi @VillageFete it’s so blooming frustrating isn’t it. Not knowing what is going on. I’m guessing it just needs a little more time esp with you having pcos. My periods have started but mine are much lighter and I haven’t felt ovulation yet either it’s awful not knowing isn’t it xxx

@fleur89 Firstly, sorry for your loss :( Secondly, I've had both a medical management and a surgical management. I think it took longer for my period to come back with the medical management, maybe six weeks? With the surgical it was bang on five.

@TheBirdintheCave thank you so much, that's really helpful to know. I'm still so undecided and it's reassuring to hear others' experiences. I was swaying towards surgical myself until I heard from my sister. Although NHS website seems to say there's no difference in terms of getting pregnant again.

Hi @fleur89 im so sorry for your loss I had the same thing had to wait 2 weeks then a scan then another week then another scan until mc was confirmed. I took the medical management at the time I regretted it as it seemed to take ages for everything to come back to normal I bled for a week and it was 3 weeks for a negative frer. I did wish I’d had a d and c to get it over and done with but maybe if your sister is a dr and has the experience then I’d go with what she says I got my period 4 weeks to the day of my mc I’ve had 2 periods since but they’ve been very light not like they used to be so I’m guessing it’s just going to take more time xxx

@fleur89 I had a D&C back at the beginning of December. I was terrified at the thought of it to be honest but I’d lost so much blood they basically said I had to have one right there and then (within 20 minutes I was in there). I stayed awake for the procedure and just had local anaesthetic/ painkillers. It was not pleasant but it was bearable and quick. Afterwards, I was happy I’d done it as I didn’t really have any pain and the bleeding slowed down to hardly anything pretty much straight after. My period returned bang on my normal cycle, 4 weeks later and has been normal ever since. I can’t speak for everyone else who has had a different experience but for me I was thankful afterwards that I had no other choice given to me at the time! Hope you’re okay and sorry you are going through this xx

Really sorry @fleur89 :( that's interesting what your sister says, I had D&C and period came back no problem but cycles since then have been all over the place! It is frustrating, but I still don't think I'd choose medical management if it happened again as I liked that it was done and over with quick. I think it comes down to personal preference, seems there is just no predicting what your body will do and everyone's different xx

@Chocolatebean apparently I'm 4dpo today but same as you - feel nothing at all! Feel a world apart from other fertile cycles, I literally had no sex drive or cm so I'm not convinced either.

Aw @Enigma85 i think we are both feeling exactly the same aren’t we it’s so rubbish and awful when we need it for what we want most in the world xxx

Really sorry @fleur89 , for what it's worth I had surgical and my period was back in 4 weeks, then 26 days later for second period, and there was minimal bleeding following the procedure, mainly spotting. I don't track ovulation but hopefully it's happening! It was under GA, I was home by lunchtime and walking in the park that afternoon.

Hi ladies how’s it going?
@Enigma85 how are u feeling today having a bit of a downer day today started craving chocolate and starving but my cycles app msged me to say my pms symptoms are due to start tomorrow so that’s what that will be. I just feel like I’ve got it ingrained in my head I’ll never get pregnant again I feel like as long as I have this mental block I actually won’t 🤪. I’m going to get wrong tonight I’ve ordered some impryl and booked an accupuncture appointment so I’m spent up for the month xxx

@Chocolatebean Aww sorry to hear that.

I’m also not feeling amazing at the moment, since my weirdly short 2nd cycle after the miscarriage I’ve been having really bad mood swings and anxiety - it’s awful, when it comes on I just feel completely overwhelmed and can’t motivate myself to do anything.

Sending good wishes to everyone xx

Hi @Fairylight102 im so sorry you’re struggling please know you’re not alone I think we are all having a tough time I just can’t believe how much the mc has messed everything up for so many of us. I defo have worse anxiety and it’s a struggle to haul myself out of bed most mornings and if my pmt is due to start then that’s going to be fun. If u need to chat I’m here xxx

@Chocolatebean Thank you xxx

Hi everyone, apologies for not checking in for a while but I do think about this thread often!

I'm still really really struggling since our loss on 9th of December. One minute I think I'm fine and then the next my eyes flood with tears even just thinking about it. I think I'll be this way until I get my rainbow baby 😔

Although no BFP since then which is gutting, and I'm sick of everyone telling me 'you're more fertile after a miscarriage' ... I'm clearly not as it's nearly March!! And no BFP in sight yet.

@Fairylight102 did you have a short cycle to? My last one was 17 days!

@Chocolatebean I always crave chips and pizza when PMS is due and I has that today, also feel down, been quiet and my dp keeps asking what's wrong. There's definitely still a chance for us this month, only 5dpo and you 6 I think so really that's too early to feel anything. What's impryl?

@Chocolatebean just seen my app changed my ovulation to cd12, so I'm still 4dpo 😣

@Enigma85 Mine was 24 days which is unusual for me (usually 30 days or longer).

I know it’s supposed to be common that it takes a while for things to settle back into a normal pattern after miscarriage, but it’s so frustrating when all you want to do is get on with conceiving again - makes it really hard to predict when ovulation might happen this month.

I just feel so drained, anxious and sad 😢

@Fairylight102 @Enigma85 @mollibu it feels like time is running away doesn’t it 😢😢😢. Then again we have only had 3 shots and that’s if we even ovulated. My cycle was 26 days when it’s normally 28 and I normally have a heavy period with lots of clots and it was just light. I never thought I’d want my heavy periods back 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️.
impryl is a supplement for conceiving if u Google it and have a read up it has promising results but u need it for 3 months to get full effect suprise suprise I don’t think it will work any miracles but u never know xxx