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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

966 replies

Fairylight102 · 03/01/2023 19:21

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

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kookyelephant · 22/02/2023 09:38

@countrypunk sorry forgot to say I hope you're ok 💕💕💕 and shock is completely natural xxxx

countrypunk · 22/02/2023 10:01

Thank you @kookyelephant xxx

TheBirdintheCave · 22/02/2023 10:34

@SMG1992 Yes I keep getting random break outs which are very annoying 🙄

Vt86 · 22/02/2023 14:15

Hi all,

This was my first pregnancy and I lost my baby at nearly 12 weeks at beginning of December due to a subchorionic hematoma which ended up bleeding out and I had to rush to hospital. It was a traumatic experience which meant I was in hospital for almost 2 days. I lost a lot of blood and had to have a D&C. I generally feel I have coped and recovered fairly well, both mentally and physically, but I can’t help but feel very alone sometimes. I’m scared of being pregnant again because of what happened a few months ago but also terrified of never having a baby. Sorry… this isn’t particularly a conversation starter or helpful but I just feel I needed to get it out.

Thanks! Xx

SMG1992 · 22/02/2023 15:48

Hi @Vt86 I'm really sorry about your pregnancy and the traumatic experience.
I know what you mean about feeling alone, I get that too. I felt and still feel very empty as I'm no longer growing a life inside of me which can make me feel alone.

If you ever feel alone in your experience and need to let it out, these forums have been a god send for me rambling on about my feelings. The ladies here really do understand and are so supportive.
I think if you want to get pregnant again, when the timing is right it might be worth sharing your fears with a midwife as they may be able to help.

kookyelephant · 22/02/2023 15:49

@SMG1992 - thank you for that by the way xx

Raey · 22/02/2023 17:34

Hi @Vt86 so sorry to hear of your traumatic experience.

I was was also diagnosed with a Subchronic Hematoma and began bleeding at 6 weeks which continued until I miscarried, also just before 12 weeks.

The whole pregnancy was so traumatic and although I am desperate to be pregnant again, I know that when it happens how stressful it will be.

This was also my first pregnancy.

Have you had any follow up or advice on how or why it happened?

Sending a big hug x

Vt86 · 22/02/2023 17:45

@Raey oh wow, the exact same as me then… I started lightly spotting at 6 weeks and they diagnosed small haematoma but said nothing to worry about. It continued on and off and then was told around 8/9 weeks that mine was in a risky place for the baby so I was on bed rest for almost 1 month until I suddenly started gushing with blood one evening (sorry tmi…) it was absolutely terrifying, I’ve never seen so much blood! I had done a lot of research on it at the time and ask the doctors during and after but there seems to be no known cause or cure for it, sadly. It was a very stressful couple of months, as you will also know, with the constant worrying of seeing blood or doing any activity etc.

I would really like to be pregnant again but it was such a stressful and scary time that I worry about going through the same thing again.

how long ago did this happen to you?

sending love your way xx

Vt86 · 22/02/2023 17:46

@SMG1992 thank you ☺️ much appreciated xxxx

Chocolatebean · 22/02/2023 18:34

Hi lovely ladies this whole thing is just awful isn’t it even though our stories are all different it’s all the same heartbreak. I for one just thought hormones etc would just pop back to normal in fact I was hoping to get pregnant before even having a period but it certainly didn’t happen for me.
if I did ovulate ( I’m not sure ) my bbt has been crazy since covid 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. I believe I may be 1 dpo but not sure if I actually ovulated as pretty sure I didn’t last month xxx

Raey · 23/02/2023 07:41

@Vt86 it was very difficult seeing blood all the time which increased with any activity as you describe.

I was told I was having a threatened miscarriage from week 7-9 and then by week 10 (I was having weekly scans) everything looked good and even better by week 10 - even though I was still spotting but brown blood by this time.

unfortunately my 11 week scan showed the sac was leaking and no water around the baby. They didn’t confirm, but after doing my own research I read that a hematoma can cause the sac to pull away from the wall.

It’s very worrying that they cannot say why this happened or what to do to prevent it.

I’m so sorry you went through this too, although I feel we were maybe just unlucky as most go on to have a healthy baby and pregnancy.

Raey · 23/02/2023 07:43

@Vt86 i miscarried on 9 December and had a D&C on the 12th.

been trying ever since but nothing, it took 15 months to conceive that pregnancy.

how about you?

Vt86 · 23/02/2023 12:38

@Raey Yeah, I guess we were unlucky. They did tell me at about 9 weeks that the placement of my hematoma was behind the baby at the furthest point from cervix so if I had a big bleed or continued bleeding then there was a high chance it would bring the baby out with it…Usually if the hematoma is nearer the cervix then you can bleed but it often wont affect the baby. I then did have a sudden gush out of nowhere at nearly 12 weeks that wouldn’t stop and was horrific tbh, nearly needed a transfusion.

I had actually never tried for a baby before and this happened after the first time of trying to conceive. I was a bit shocked and scared but then really loved the idea of having a baby. It’s hard to keep getting your head around things when it would mean such a big change ahead… or not.

My D&C was 1st December but I had been too scared to try again and didn’t feel like I was ready yet. However, this month I will start again as I’m nearly 37 and time is not on my side! Fortune favours the brave!

I really hope we both get our rainbow babies one day and sending you lots of positive vibes! X

Raey · 23/02/2023 13:49

@Vt86 that must have been so scary to get that news about the position of the hematoma. I’m so sorry again that you had to go through that.

Good luck with trying again and keep us posted.

SMG1992 · 24/02/2023 15:27

eurgh I've been invited to a baby shower of a colleague!! She works at a different site but we're quite a close knit company with not too many employees.

I definitley can't go, I had to make an excuse for a quarterly meeting last month as I knew she would be there and I couldn't face seeing her.

I'm happy for her, but it makes me get a lump in my throat just the thought of seeing her so I'm going to need to try and find my excuses again. I really hope this gets easier. I don't want it to be confused with bitterness, it's about how I feel about me not about her.
Anyone have similar feelings, or better any advice?

Chocolatebean · 24/02/2023 16:03

Hey @SMG1992 absolutely the same and don’t beat yourself up about it just make up an excuse and dont feel guilty. I need to go visit my friends newborn this week I’ve bought the card and gift not sure how I’ll be when I get there 😬.
afm got a positive OPK and ewcm and boobs went sore but my bbt and heart rate haven’t gone up in fact they have gone down so no idea what’s going on feel pretty down and out tbh xxx

SMG1992 · 24/02/2023 16:08

@Chocolatebean There's a lot to look out for physically for ovulation, the opks/ewcm & boobs are a positive sign.
Are you going to count the positive OPK as peak ovualtion day?

Chocolatebean · 24/02/2023 16:35

@SMG1992 yeah I think I’ll have to everything points to it being ovulation except the decrease rather than increase in temp and heart rate I’ve had no ovulation twinges either mind you last month both ovaries went nuts and my lining didn’t build up ( so it didn’t really mean anything). I used to be so clockwork before the mc now it’s just gone bizarrre. Xxx

Enigma85 · 24/02/2023 19:17

Of my god I've just come out of the worst ovulation pains I've ever had. I've had two periods since mc surgery, first one normal, second one I dont think I ovulated, now this one has been awful. I felt like I was going to be sick or pass out, couldn't sleep, was so bad. Anyone had similar?

Chocolatebean · 24/02/2023 20:20

@Enigma85 I had that the cycle I got pregnant it was agony like you I felt sick and that was the cycle I found out I was pregnant. I’ve had 2 cycles after the mc the last one both my ovaries were pinging at the same time, this time I haven’t felt anything really xxx

Enigma85 · 24/02/2023 20:29

Thanks @Chocolatebean hopefully it was just a one off then. Never had anything like it before worse than period pains and even post surgery pains. Hopefully everything's ok and it doesn't happen again xx

Chocolatebean · 25/02/2023 08:13

Hey @Enigma85 at least on the plus side you know you’ve ovulated, every cloud and all that xxx

Sophiey11 · 25/02/2023 11:24

@Enigma85 i was actually looking through threads on here last night as I was feeling similar. For about 3/4 days I had what felt like period pains. I have already had my first period since miscarriage, so if it wasn’t for that I would have thought AF was on her way. I had a peak OPK on Thursday, a high one yesterday and now today it is quite faint. So I’m guessing it was just ovulation pain, and today I can no longer feel it. I definitely didn’t have this after my last MC. So quite unusual I’ve had it on this one.

s14a · 25/02/2023 11:36

Hi all.
My head is just so full with all of this ttc stuff.

I've come on today. CD 27 and 7dpo. Not just a light spot either a full on bleed. I know I'm only 2 cycles post 10week miscarriage but it doesn't make any sense to me.

Definitely not an implantation bleed as its quite a lot with cervix low and open.

Chocolatebean · 25/02/2023 16:39

@Enigma85 @Sophiey11 @s14a I’ve read a lot today about when women Track their cycles the cycles can go a bit haywire for some reason. I was like clockwork and now everything has just gone to pot. I still have no temp rise didn’t have any obvious ovulation pain but have had the OPK, the spots the ewcm so no idea. It just feels to me like getting pregnant is never going g to happen. My mc was 13 dec and my stomach was super bloated till last week it seems to be settling a bit now. Xxx