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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

966 replies

Fairylight102 · 03/01/2023 19:21

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

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Chocolatebean · 12/02/2023 16:21

Aw super just done a test I’ve got covid for the first time hooray 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

TheBirdintheCave · 12/02/2023 16:31

@Chocolatebean Augh that sucks :( We had it for the first time last November.

Chocolatebean · 12/02/2023 16:50

Hope it won’t affect ovulation ( bet it does 🤦‍♀️) xxx

TheBirdintheCave · 12/02/2023 16:58

@Chocolatebean It made mine late by a week but that was the cycle I got pregnant so it's still possible to conceive :)

Chocolatebean · 12/02/2023 18:44

@TheBirdintheCave oh well I’ll take that 😂😂😂

s14a · 12/02/2023 19:44

Hi all.

I've had to take some time away and just 'be' without thinking for a while.
I'm in that horrible guilt stage where I want to get on with it but then I feel guilty for feeling like that because my baby died. Its all a bit consuming.

We are also at a bit of a crossroads with TTC. My son is 22 months now and he's just starting to get more independant. He will play, he can communicate, he's starting to potty train. We wanted them close together because we didn't want it to seem like we were starting again and it just makes me so so angry about the miscarriage because the timing was just what we wanted and now we have to make a decision. We have a bigger age gap between DD (8) and DS so we wanted a much smaller one this time. We've kind of put a time limit on it so if i dont conceive by the time DS is 3 then no more.
We've already been TTC for 20 months (2x pregnancies but both losses) although really its only been 13 or so because my periods didn't come back until DS was nearly 1.

We are going away on the 18th for some winter sun so I'm hoping that does us the world of good.

I'm CD 15 today. I'm not doing sticks but I did get all of the signs (lots of cm, high flat cervix, wanting to bd) yesterday. Flo thinks ill ovulate on Friday but I know it is a bit off since the miscarriage. We are going to attempt to bd every other day anyway.

Enigma85 · 13/02/2023 12:05

Oh that's so rubbish @Chocolatebean hope you're feeling ok. Isn't it awful when you cant just get ill anymore without worrying on the impact on ttc!

My mad cycle continues, cd18 with no positive opk but started bleeding today. Just don't know what's going on.

Also had a cervical screening booked for this morning as I'm due and have had abnormalities in the past so was actually a bit anxious about it being delayed when I was pregnant. They wouldn't do it though, didnt realise you have to wait 12 weeks after a MC for one so now in the predicament of delaying ttc or not until smear end of march. Honestly why does nobody prepare you for all the considerations when ttc 😅

Chocolatebean · 13/02/2023 14:02

@s14a dont blame you for needing a break it’s overwhelming. I think a holiday would be amazing for you a change of scenery will take your mind off things it will be wonderful. Don’t knock a big age gap too much try not to put too much pressure on yourself although I get it as the time ours would have been born was perfect as well 🤦‍♀️.
hi @Enigma85 it’s bizarre isn’t it do u think your body was trying to ovulate again and again? my last cycle screwed with my head so much I did get a positive OPK in day 16 but at my scan 10 days later my lining was thin and my follicle was just about to ovulate and my period started 2 days later so it was totally messed up which is the last thing we all want when we are so desperate. I’m so stressed about trying to relax how ironic is that 🤪. Ugh that’s crap about the smear and bloody typical.

afm I have started taking a baby aspirin as apparently it can help your womb lining ( apparently so can putting a viagra tablet up there that’s what they do in IVF ). I was due to ovulate this weekend coming but now I have covid goodness knows when it will be xxx

GingleAllTheWay2022 · 13/02/2023 20:00

Thinking of you all. The bad days definitely come in waves for me, some days I feel like I'm managing OK and starting to feel the clouds lift and other days I could put my fist through a wall.

I've started to pick up a faint line on my OPKs so time to start trying again. The optimistic part of the month when it could be possible. Trying to keep my head up, wishing strength and hope to everyone else too 💐

SMG1992 · 13/02/2023 20:15

Hi all,
just reading through this thread and it makes me feel a bit better that I’m not alone but also so sad that other people feel the way I do

The sudden insets of hopelessness are tough and can sometimes hit me like a train out of nowhere

i had a MMC mid January. I was at my 12 week scan and the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 9 weeks… I was in utter shock, I had no MC symptoms.

im TTC again already after ovulating, I’m planning on POAS on Thursday but I’m not hopeful and if it is positive I think I’ll be terrified!

Enigma85 · 14/02/2023 10:49

No idea @Chocolatebean I never got a positive opk so think my body gave up. So my second period after mc surgery, after a fairly normal one first time is super heavy, means my last cycle was 17 days which is crap and I really hope the mc hasn't buggered up my cycles. I've read how they can be shorter but mine were already short at about 25 days so hope they don't get shorter. Trying not to overthink it and just be hopeful I'll ovulate in a couple of weeks and get a bfp. Anyone else trying for November baby now? I might not join a thread as joined one for october baby and although I keep hitting unfollow I get notifications of everyone's bfp's!

Sending positive thoughts everyone's way, it's comforting having this thread but so sad seeing so many going through the same. I dont know if anyone remembers my best friend told me she was pregnant a few days after my mc, made the friendship tough to say the least but she went for a private scan at 9 weeks and no heartbeat :(

TheBirdintheCave · 14/02/2023 11:20

@s14a Welcome back :) Totally understand what you mean about age gaps. Ours is getting bigger and bigger too 😩

@Enigma85 Sorry to hear about your friend :(

We're trying for a November baby in our last natural cycle before IVF. This is exactly the same set of circumstances as when we were trying for our son back in 2020, to the day. Just as now, we were going to start IVF around March 14 and then we found out I was pregnant with him the day before we were due to go and pick up the meds. It will be very spooky if the same miracle happens again 🙏 They would have the same due date.

38andtrying · 14/02/2023 12:10

@TheBirdintheCave praying for your spooky miracle, these things do happen.

@Enigma85 sorry to hear about your friend, at least she has someone to speak to who can help her, it may actually help you being a support system as well as someone who needs support.

BfP soon for everyone I hope x

SMG1992 · 14/02/2023 14:01

@Enigma85 So sorry to hear about your journey and also your friend. It's something that I wish no one would have to go through.

I'm trying for a November baby, although I ovulated almost 2 weeks ago so if no luck I'll be changing that to a December baby.
My MC should have been due in July which I thought was so perfect - I loved the idea of a summer baby as DH and I were summer baabies! But I'll be very happy with a winter baby now! I would just love to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy and birth within 2023... this year's already been my toughest yet!

Chocolatebean · 14/02/2023 14:25

Hi guys yes a November baby would suit me just fine 😁. I’ve got it In my head that I’m just never going to get pregnant again and I need to get it out and believe that it can happen. I feel the more desperate I am the less likely it will happen argh. Doesn’t help I’ve got stupid covid so haven’t really got much to keep Me busy or think about. I’m due to ovulate this weekend ish so there’s a few of us together ish so here’s hoping.
im so sorry about your friend at least you can be there for each other this certainly isn’t an easy journey xxx

Raey · 14/02/2023 14:36

@Enigma85 thats so sad about your friend, good that she has you to talk to about it, we just wouldn’t wish that on anyone, it’s so sad.

A November baby would be nice, just in time for Christmas! I would have been due in June and honestly have even grieved that, as I thought a summer baby would be so nice.

I don’t often allow myself to think that far ahead on this TTC journey, but maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.

Sooo many people I know conceived in Feb last year, so maybe there’s something about the month that will influence us this year, fingers crossed for us all

TheBirdintheCave · 14/02/2023 14:45

@Raey The hospital was really really busy the night I had my son which was the end of Nov. So there could be something to that :)

Chocolatebean · 14/02/2023 18:37

Oh well here’s hoping. I just can’t help but be so disappointed the MC has messed up my hormones/cycle so much and looks like it’s done that to quite a few of us xxx

Chocolatebean · 15/02/2023 22:15

Hi guys hope you’re all ok covid has knocked me for 6 don’t feel too ill just exhausted. Hope everyone else is doing ok xxx

GingleAllTheWay2022 · 15/02/2023 22:22

Sorry to hear that @Chocolatebean. I was the same when I had it, the exhaustion was crazy.

I've had a positive OPK today so entering the 2ww. Trying to stay positive and focus on other things in the meantime.

SMG1992 · 16/02/2023 08:36

I think I'm pregnant again post MMC last month... it was actually one month to the day today.
My tests were negative again and now I'm showing as 1-2 weeks CB and also have a faint line for 1 & 2 weeks on a different Amazon test.
I can't help but not trust it and think it's still my hormones playing up as I really don't want to get my hopes up.

I think I'm going to wait and test again next week but I won't be doing anything I shouldn't if I was pregnant.
Anyone have any other advice or should I just sit tight for a week or so?
Either way I wouldn't contact the GP until a couple of weeks.

TheBirdintheCave · 16/02/2023 09:07

@SMG1992 I think all you can do is wait and see if the line progresses unfortunately :/ I really hope this is a new one for you x

SMG1992 · 16/02/2023 09:10

@TheBirdintheCave Yeah I know you are right - It's a complete mind game as I want to be happy about it but I just don't trust it yet!

Chocolatebean · 16/02/2023 12:49

Ooh @SMG1992 that sounds really hopeful, if you had negative tests after the mc then I think it must be a new pregnancy. Got everything crossed for you it is xxx
hi @GingleAllTheWay2022 yes keep yourself busy I can’t wait to enter the 2ww I find it much easier than waiting for a positive OPK. Got everything crossed for you xxx

@TheBirdintheCave how are you doing sweet. Any updates xxx

TheBirdintheCave · 16/02/2023 12:59

@Chocolatebean Nope nothing new here. I'm just waiting to hear back from the IVF clinic with our plan of action. Waiting for that email is more frustrating than waiting for O 😂 Only CD7 at the moment so a long way to go in that regard too.

I hope you're feeling a little better with your Covid xx