Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

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I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

I use pre mom as well as my watch. My I watch actually said that my period may start on Sunday and was due Tuesday and it did actually start Sunday also it predicted my ovulation day spot on it was defo right as I used OPK tests xxx also tracks my temp spot on also u can use your heart rate in the same way u use bbt xxx

@Chocolatebean thankyou! I'm using natural cycles so will run them parallel for abit and see what they say xx

Yeah i have Flo as well and that doesn’t work for my cycles at all. Makes me laugh as with my son I only found out when I was 8 weeks pregnant and hadn’t even been trying lol that was 13 years ago though xxxam not happy with my 3 day period but I guess I’ll have to just get in with it. I’ve started Angus castus as apparently that can help balance things xxx

@Chocolatebean I'm pretty sure the light period will just be because the lining was thin. By the next cycle it should be back to normal in terms of thickness, I'd imagine :) I guess it's a lottery as to how the lining reacts following a miscarriage as mine was thin too but other people get bfp straight away.

@TheBirdintheCave thanks sweet I didn’t have a d and c either I had medical management so it just shows our bodies react in different ways let’s hope it’s just a blip for both of us xxx

@TheBirdintheCave don’t suppose you have any tips for getting a better lining next time xxx

@Chocolatebean Unfortunately not. I've told my husband to call up the clinic tomorrow and say that we're going to go for IVF as I have no more hope for this cycle so just want to get on with things.

@Saturnsmoon That’s amazing news, congratulations!

@TheBirdintheCave i don’t blame you think I’d do the same it’s bloody horrible having no control at least with ivf you have some control and the best chance xxx

@TheBirdintheCave I feel okay thanks / not too much in the way of symptoms although definitely have a bit of insomnia and noticed some nipple changes (sorry tmi!). My dating scan is on the 20th so just sitting tight till then.

I hope having made the decision to move ahead with IVF gives you some peace of mind.

@Saturnsmoon Unfortunately not. I'm just massively depressed 😂

@Saturnsmoon congratulations, that's great! Keeping fingers crossed for you!

Period has just arrived today for my second cycle post surgery, so this means we'll start trying as soon as it's over. Shorter cycle than usual at only 25 days (pre-pregnancy they were more like 28-30) but let's hope all is functioning normally, I'm curious how heavy this one will be as the first period was quite light. Interesting what you say @TheBirdintheCave about lining being thinner in first cycle, let's see if it plays out.

I'm not doing any tracking of ovulation or temperatures or anything but certainly my husband won't be complaining if I suggest sex every day!

I've had to leave my original miscarriage group now as I'm basically one of three left who still isn't pregnant :( In the space of a month four of them got their rainbow babies and I feel so left behind.

Hi all I’m sorry we are all part of this group. I noticed this thread as I had an ongoing threatened miscarriage for weeks where we kept thinking I had lost the baby (they think I could have lost a twin but not confirmed), I was hoping I wouldn’t have to join it. Miraculously last week there was a heartbeat, and then this week there wasn’t. I was told I had a missed miscarriage. I started medical management yesterday which was horrific for a few hours but then settled. Hoping It works completely. Feeling empty inside, also had a chemical a few months prior which I struggled with but this is so much more difficult after seeing a heartbeat

Hi @YearoftheRabbit23 im the same as you a 2 day shorter cycle my 1st period was lighter and so was this one am hoping it’s just a blip and not I’ll be normal next cycle it’s so annoying xxx
@Ttcafterloss hi sweet I’m so sorry you have to be in this group but a very warm Welcome it’s a comfort being around those who have been through the same thing xxx
@TheBirdintheCave im so sorry you’re so down it’s crap being the one left behind and with our shitty womb linings I looked up about womb lining and what that nurse told me the other day seems to be rubbish ffs so I apologise for that. Look towards the ivf. Xxx
hows is everyone else hope lots of love to all xxx

@Chocolatebean No worries :) I'm so depressed today I haven't had breakfast or even brushed my teeth. I so hoped I would be lucky and get pregnant again straight away 😥 I can't really look forward to the IVF as I really don't want to do it.

@TheBirdintheCave you are closer now to your rainbow baby than you ever where, i am trying to start and think postive, it is draining and it is easier to be depressed than pull yourself out of it. My sister gave me a good dressing down this morning about my mood lol and i am now trying to pull myself out, we can do it together.

So what are your biggest worries and depressive thoughts? get them out girl! i'm listening x lets both of us try and get into a better frame of mind today, take it a day at a time and go to bed tonight a smidgen happier than we woke up

my biggest issue atm is comparing myself to others and being jealous and sometimes downright hateful about others, im having to realise this is about me and my husband and no one else, everyone else has their journey and is this is mine.

@TheBirdintheCave @38andtrying can I join too please I’m the same before the mc perfect cycle and periods since the mc it’s all not working right shorter cycle and super light period. I’m the same with the teeth brushing it’s in a night I just think can’t be arsed I dont want to put make up in or anything. I had a look into antidepressants as I’m that crap but there’s none that are totally safe so going to try and stay off them. I’ve literally overhauled my diet taking my supplements, walk a mile and a half a day there’s literally no more I can do and that’s when I’m at my worst as I hate it when there’s nothing more I can try. I guess I need to give it a few months now and then once at the 6 months see if hubby will look into some basic testing. Xxx

@38andtrying I think my main issue is feeling like I've failed and that I was stupid for thinking we could get pregnant naturally like normal people and that just once something in my life might actually be easy (which is a load of shit as I'm actually very fortunate in so many other ways, I'm not even going to be out of pocket for the IVF as my parents are paying for it).

I hate how much time we wasted and that I let my husband talk me into trying for longer even though I was already stressing so much about getting older.

I'm definitely jealous too. My sister-in-law is pregnant and it seems to happen so quickly for her and my brother. They decide to get pregnant and hey presto they do.

@Chocolatebean I was on Citalopram for about six years. It really did help and I don't think I'd be in the position I am today without it as I wouldn't have been brave enough to go back to college and take the course which ultimately got me my job. I'm not sure if you can take it if you're TTC though.

The helplessness of TTC is the worst. I just want to fast forward to O and the last natural TWW we'll have (as I think it will be too late to start IVF this cycle as AF is due in two days). I hate that I'm wishing my life away.

@TheBirdintheCave i could have written above, to feel like i was naive to think id have no issues when i found out i was pregnant, especially at 38 but lets think about it logically

you can pregnant naturally, you have proven this, like you though im inpatient due to my age

You haven't wasted any time, you cannot see the future, you had to try its part of the process, that time is now behind you and has brought you to where you are now, you wouldn't be so far on in the process without the experiences you have had and the time you put it, it is not wasted time but invested time and it was necessary unfortunately

your last point i am with you 100% and its killing me, my sister in law in pregnant too, my husband decided to tell me this btw in the days after we found out about miscarriage and before d&c, he thought it would cheer me up as she is 39 and give me hope, men are dopes lol

i know a girl as well who is 38, had her first baby in april 2022 and announced she is now 20 weeks pregnant with her second, to say im obsessed and wanting to scream is an understatement :(

On this issue i feel i am being very childish and throwing internal tantrums but even though i know it, i cant help it

@Chocolatebean im stuffing myself with vitamins as well, its become a past time researching and i am spending a fortune, i know fine rightly its all placebo but i am doing ti anyway, i am hoping the vitamins dont mess anything up, fell pregnant without any of the vitamins last time.

I am taking CQ10, acai berry, maca root, vit d, b12, seven seas pre pregnancy, 75mg asprin, a pro biotic, omega 3 fish oils and extra folic acid, i bet im missing something as well lol

im depressed as hell, my whole family have noticed, my poor husband is worried and i cant hide it from him, my sister has told me i need to snap out of it, it wont help ttc and if i needed IVF for example they wouldnt even look at me in this state, theyd make me get counselling

all we can do is try our best and pray it works out for us, please god.

We all sound in pretty much the same state don’t we 🫂 yup I’m taking about the same in supplements I also have a blueberry and pomegranate smoothie everyday but I’m getting bloody sick of them now and choke them down.
do any of you know is it an ivf clinic you go to for the basic fertility tests? I have no idea where to start looking xxx

In pretty much the same boat with everyone else in regards to how we're all feeling!

My sister in law is too pregnant and due in a few months time. I am so pleased for her as she had a miscarriage last year but it does sting to think we was once talking about our babies being the best of friends/cousins to only one of us having a baby.

I just feel like I'm not doing enough in regards to conceiving at the moment. I've been taken a multivitamin every day but not sure if there's anything else worth trying?

I've never actually tried/looked into tracking BBT. Maybe it's time to give it a go?

Hey @mollibu welcome to the miserables club lol 🫂. Tracking can get a bit obsessive but it does make u feel like u are doing something. To Me it’s like once u start tracking u can’t stop. I’ve ripped all my wardrobe put today to keep myself occupied but it’s just made me even more depressed 😂😂😂