Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

[Fairylight102]

I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

@Chocolatebean Yeah it sucks. I'm used to it now though, this is cycle 13 😂

All the best to those of you currently in the TWW 🤞🏻🙏🏻

I am on CD12 and in previous cycles my ovulation was day 17/18 so I think I’m coming into my fertile window now. My BBT has been all over the place though so I’m starting to think maybe this won’t be a typical cycle with ovulation on the expected date.

Going to try every couple of days and see what happens. It can be really hard to keep spirits up though because when I got pregnant I thought “I’ve done it, thank god I’m past the stage of cycle tracking etc” now I’m back there again.

I’ve had a couple of sessions of acupuncture (fortunately no suggestions of a needle in the perineum like that post mentioned before OMG!!). She said to try not to obsess too much about windows and cycle dates, just have sex every few days throughout the cycle because it’s good to keep your cervix in the habit of regular sex, and also to remember that sex is just a nice thing for couples to enjoy - I can see she is totally right, but it’s so easy to slip into a pattern of seeing sex as a tick box on the road to pregnancy and forget it is actually romantic as well.

hi @Fairylight102 so pleased no one else has tried to needle your perenium 😂😂😂. I think that’s really good advice I need to have a big talk to myself about the fact I used to be perfectly happy before the MC and that my entire can not revolve around ttc.
wasnt due to rest till tues but my temp has nose dived ( I really hate my I watch it never gives good news) and this spotting must be the start of my period which is early and I don’t normally getting spotting but mc has changed stuff I guess. Grrrr.
i think this cycle must still be messed up from the MC I think that’s quite common. so much for getting pregnant straight after mc 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️xxx

@Chocolatebean The perineum thing wasn’t me actually someone else on here posted about it but it was quite a few pages ago so I can’t remember who, but let’s just say once you’ve read something like that it sticks in your mind 🤣🤣

Absolutely agree with you, I keep trying to tell myself my life was ok beforehand and I can still enjoy the same things I used to while I’m TTC again, not just obsessing about it.

I hope your period starts properly soon so it’s out of the way for you x

Having a sad day. I just don't think it's going to happen for me and I can't bear the thought of going through the upset of trying for another year or however long just to end in another MC. I don't have time, I left it too late.

I can't talk to anyone in real life. I don't want to keep burdening DH because I'm worried he won't want to keep trying if he knows how upset I am. It's been 5 weeks but I seem to be feeling slowly worse instead of moving on.

@GingleAllTheWay2022 I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through right now.

It is such an awful thing to experience, don’t be too hard on yourself that you’re feeling worse not better, I’ve found it very up and down and it goes in waves.

Sending you positive thoughts x

Hi everyone sorry to hear all your sad stories too. I sadly had a miscarriage through pregnancy in unviable location on the 6th jan. I have been bleeding every day since, even though it’s slowed to what it was I still have to change my liner 2/3 times a day and have some clots. Iv told the nurses as I’m having bloods done every week still and they say it can last a while, just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? I’m getting really fed up now and also thinking it’s delaying my next period unless it all blends into1? Any advice would be appreciated as it was also my 1st pregnancy Thankyou x

Aw @GingleAllTheWay2022 it’s absolutely shite isn’t it. I’m the same as you I’m the the only person who Knew was hubby so I literally can’t talk to anyone else and he even said today well if it causes this stress every month it’s not even worth it 😬. I never cried after the mc in fact I thought I took it pretty well but what I’m really struggling with is not knowing the future. I’m like you in that I’m getting worse not better maybe if I’d grieved at the time I’d be better now I’m not sure. Just know you’re not alone and we are here for you here is the only place I can talk I am still debating whether to ask the gp for antedepressants I know not great for ttc but if if that miserable and stressed I probably won’t conceive hubby says he’s worried I’m going to be one of those who tries so hard they won’t get pregnant grrrr but he may be right xxx we’re always here of u need to vent xxx

I'm having the same @Fairylight102 and it's so frustrating. Used to always ovulate around CD13, had first period after MMC which seemed normal and i'm now on CD11 with stark negative LH tests and my temperature is through the roof! It sky rocketed on CD8 to what it usually goes to when I ovulate but nothing has happened and temp hasn't come down, my app even made me do a test to see if the thermometer was working (it is), as it can't work out what's going on. Do you think I won't ovulate this month? It's so frustrating I could scream.

Hey,
I hope you don't mind me joining this thread. I had a natural miscarriage yesterday after a confirmation scan of MMC on Friday. I was supposed to be 11+5 but baby didn't make it past 7+3. We were on holiday in Orlando and I started getting some spotting and jelly like discharge, and then just before the plane home I started bleeding more. We went straight to EPAC after the flight home. Its been quite a ride! It was my first pregnancy. I don't know anyone in real life who has been through it, all have gone on to have healthy babies first try, so it has been a support reading through other's experiences. Although I'm sad it has to happen to anyone at all

@Paperboats Welcome and sorry for your loss :( It's not a fun club to be part of but most people go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time so fingers crossed you'll get your rainbow baby soon.

@Enigma85 Sorry you’re having a similar problem - no idea what’s going on. I thought when I got my first period back after the miscarriage that would mean things were back to normal so it’s taken me by surprise to have this cycle being so weird.

Currently my plan is to keep trying as many times as possible until I get to day 18 in case I do ovulate as normal.

@Paperboats So sorry for your loss and welcome to the group. It’s an awful experience to have a miscarriage in any circumstances but must have been especially stressful for you to have that while away from home.

I kind of thought once we’d had a 1st period all would be back to normal but it doesn’t seem the case for many of us 😢
@CMG92 have u been scanned for retained products I’m so sorry for your loss and welcome xxx

So sorry to have some more newcomers to the group, but welcome.

I’m 5/6 Dpo and have started to get mild cramping which is typical for me and usually means my body is gearing up for a period.

I got a notification over the weekend saying I was due for my 20 week anatomy scan, such a gut punch. Spent 3 days with a pregnant friend of the family and had 2 arrival announcements yesterday. I feel extremely sad and hopeless.

thinking of you all

@Raey Sorry you got that notification. That's such a horrible thing to have to deal with. Can you complain?

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing well today.

So waiting on second period since ERPC and it is currently 2 days late, 100% not pregnant though as tests with BFN prove, been googling and many people complain second people is late, super annoying when you're TTC and just another thing to add to my ever growing things to worry about.

I booked into do a fertility assessment on 15th Feb, they will do an ultrasound and check uterus etc also AMH and a Follicle count as well as husband sperms analysis. Has anyone ever had this done ? It cosy £565 and includes a consultation 10 days later.

I know I've 'only' had 1 miscarriage and tried for one month but I am 38 years old and extremely worried and for me time is the main thing I'm worried about.

@38andtrying Yes I had mine last week. Ours all came back clear, even my husband's sperm analysis which was horrific two years before is now all normal strangely.

@CMG92 I was wondering the same thing. I had a scan two weeks ago which confirmed a MMC and Ive been bleeding for about a week and had ongoing tummy ache / pain for the last 3 days. Currently sat here with my 3rd hot water bottle of the day. I'm just not sure when it'll be over? I've had a chemical pregnancy before but the bleeding was not that much different from a period. I was around 9 weeks with this pregnancy though and it's been harder than I thought..

@TheBirdintheCave that's great all came back clear, gives you some peace of mind. I am not sure with my age will they recommend some kind of intervention even if it all comes back normal, I'm feeling better about things today now that I'm taking some control and action.

I am not known for the virtue of patience lol

@38andtrying i have had all the tests but staggered and over a period of time via NHS.

I think it’s a good idea to do them all together as otherwise you’re just waiting for the next test constantly! they are also good for peace of mind.

Mine all came back fine, I went onto have a laporoscopy after i still wasn’t getting pregnant. The results showed a blocked tube, but that shouldn’t really cause any issues apparently.

I have an appointment with an NHS consultant pending (been cancelled twice since Jan) which was when my gp first referred me on, over a year ago!

not sure what they are going to do as I’m not entitled to IVF due to being over 35. I’m hoping they will agree to giving me CLOMID which I believe gives ovulation a boost.

@Raey I thought they offered IVF up to 40 and then one cycle from 40-42? Terrible they won't do that for you

I'm really praying that I'm just being a drama queen and that all will be ok for me, but given what has happened over last few months I no longer believe in everything will work out or think that I will have any luck 😔

@38andtrying Yes and no. I kind of wish they'd just told us we needed IVF as then I'd have a direction to go in. At the moment I just can't make the decision between trying naturally (which could take ages and risks a third miscarriage) and IVF which could cost around £5k and has no guarantees of a successful pregnancy (though I would probably get pregnant faster).

I'm the same as you in that I also feel like time is running out. It's a really horrid situation to be in.

The cool thing about private clinics is that you can just choose IVF if that's what you want in the interests of saving time. You're the one paying for it after all :)

@38andtrying where I live has an under 35 policy!

when I went to a private consultant he suggested going straight to IVF which I obviously took as gospel but thinking about it, maybe he was trying to get my money.

I got pregnant naturally just as I started IVF meds, so wondering wether it is worth trying naturally for a while or with a boost from something like CLOMID and see where I end up.

I understand your worry and having all the tests will help to put your mind at ease hopefully

I meant to ask, has anyone been watching the series making babies with Alex Jones?

it’s incredibly sad but also shows success stories, worth a watch x

Hi ladies 💕

Hope you're all doing ok.

I've reached out to tommys to get some information and help which has made me feel a little better and they gave me some good advice

As a reminder this was my third miscarriage so they are referring me to the clinic, however won't do that till all my bloods come back I've had two back so far clotting was normal but a positive result for APS and still waiting (4 weeks later) for my lupus result

I have to wait another 12 weeks to have another blood test to show whether or not I do infact have APS... which I'm not too sure how to take, should I feel positive that there may in fact be a reason for the consecutive miscarriages or gutted that would mean some sort of medication for life!

In the 90s those with APS had a 20% chance to have a baby and now it's 70% so that is a positive I suppose.

The waiting game is killing me!

I think it's a great idea to pay for the tests part of me wish I did as I may now have a little one but I obviously shouldn't think like that

Sending love to you all, and hugs to the recent members xxx