Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Rang my doctors Monday to see if I was down for a call about the abnormalities in my FBC, the receptionist said not but to ring the results line the next day. So yesterday I rang the results line, absolutely useless, it's basically a receptionist who said "I'm not clinically trained", had to go speak to a GP then called me back and said the doctor "isn't concerned". Today I decided to make an appointment with my GP (the same one I spoke to last time), she confirmed my results are normal and said there's not much we can do from here. So I told her the nurse at the EPU said I could be referred by my GP to the miscarriage clinic (but they still might reject it) and thankfully she's happy to give anything a try and is going to refer me. She's also including in the referral that I have IBS (which flares during pregnancy and AF) and my family history of Gynae problems. It could get rejected cause I've "only had 2" but the GP said because of my family history they might refer me for scans and things 🤞🏼

@WildflowerPetals fingers crossed they still refer you. It does seem very cruel you have to go through three before anyone will really care.

I had my appointment today. Scan confirmed exactly what private scan did and then I spoke to a nurse. Thankfully, they are allowing me surgical management although the nurse said they have only just started allowing that as a first choice in the last couple of weeks (!!) post covid. I dread to think what some other women have had to endure the past 18 months.

Thankfully they can also do it soon (Friday) which I am very grateful for. I still have some moments of disbelief but now the clarity and certainty has made me feel much more secure and stable.

Good wishes to all in this situation, whether newbies or old hands. x

Ladiesss I got my period. 23 days after I stopped bleeding. My cycle is typically 25 days long. So sad.

You know what’s hell? TTC for a year, getting referred to a fertility clinic only to realize you’re pregnant and then to miscarry 12 days later.

Meanwhile your best friend became pregnant after 5 months of trying and you’re now running around helping her with her baby shower.

I don’t need to wonder what hell is like, because this my friends, is it.

@graciepoo I am 36 we was TTC for over 2 years, I finally fell pregnant with twins, and was robbed of them both ... it was a mmc at 12 weeks they had not progressed past my first early scan at 6 weeks.
I do not trust my body but I want to conceive again more than anything.
I replied to your posts the other evening, I have zero interest in other people's lucky pregnancies good for them, yes I am bitter and miserable and some may say nasty, but put a woman through the hell of a miscarriage and see how she can be.
I am approaching 2 months since my miscarriage, I have had 1 period (but strange not usual) I am due again next week, every time I bleed (spotting or period) it's a punch in the gut, I'm winded with grief all over again. This was never meant to happen to any of us here. We all deserve this maternal happiness and a shot at being a mum. Xx

I am just honestly miserable. Whyyyy is this happening to ussssss

@WildflowerPetals really hope your referral is accepted.

@graciepoo @PrettySad I'm right there with you about having no interest in other peoples pregnancies right now. It's just too soon for me, all I can think about is how pregnant I should be.

I have no idea when to expect period, I'm thinking maybe 4 weeks from the start of my second lot of bleeding.

@graciepoo it's really bloody unfair I can't understand why I can only hope we were chosen as we are strong women to put up with this crap! More often I just think I'm unlucky in life!!!!! I am very angry at the world!

@im2sad mine appeared exactly 4 weeks after I miscarriaged was very strange! Good luck I hope yours returns soon and you get closure xx

@graciepoo I totally get you. I had a friend message me they'd given birth and sent a photo of the baby the day after I started bleeding and then another friend tell me they were pregnant the following week. I'm trying to stay positive and be happy for them/have hope it'll happen again for me soon, but it isn't easy. We waited a whole cycle after my second jab and I still had a miscarriage. Part of me wonders if it was still connected somehow, but I try to remind myself miscarriages are common and it is more likely to be some random genetic reason.

@peanutmm are you referring to the Covid jab?....
If you are I am also in two minds if my first jab caused mine!
I did not know at the time I was pregnant when I had it.....

@PrettySad yes, the covid jab. There isn't any way of knowing really and also knowing what could have happened if you didn't have the jab. My first was born with a birth defect that I believe was due to medication I took in early pregnancy (some studies have shown a small but significant link). Most others who have taken the medication during pregnancy have had healthy babies, and there isn't a clear cause for the birth defect in general. I try to remind myself that if I hadn't taken the medication, something else could've gone wrong. It's easy to blame ourselves, but there are risks to catching Covid during pregnancy that you can't ignore. I also think that if the miscarriage was only due to having the covid jab, then it's that much more likely you/I will be successful next time.

I have a personal question... how is everyone's bodies following their miscarriage?
What I'm trying to understand is, obviously mine begun to change I know I was only 12 weeks approaching 13 but I had a bump or extreme bloating... my boobs got huge... my body begun to take "shape" now I'm left with deflated boobs, saggy tumb and I just feel pissed off to say the least... I have nothing to show for this, it's so unfair. I just want to know if your bodies changed much and how do you feel about it now? xx

@WildflowerPetals hopefully they will refer you. I’m now on the gynae waiting list and technically haven’t had 3 mc but have had ectopics which bump it into this so it’s not a hard and fast rule I think.
@PrettySad my body bounced back pretty quick after mc which made me sad. I’d say my tummy is taking the longest but I think that’s also not been helped by vast amounts of comfort eating
@graciepoo it’s ok not to be ok. I’m lucky none of my friends are pg but can imagine how you feel x

@peanutmm my GP put it down on the yellow card report that I mc after my second covid jab but the pg already wasn’t progressing as it should so I don’t think it was that but she said she’d note it anyway.
@OttilieKnackered I’m glad you are being supported in the way you want. It’s tough however you go through it. Thinking of your today x

@OttilieKnackered My first MC was during the height of covid so I wasn't given the surgical option, only medical. Hope all goes as well as it can today, sending love x

@PrettySad Even though my baby stopped developing at 7 weeks, I was 12 weeks when I found out and I'd developed a bump/bloating and the usual swollen boobs. My belly has gone down, but not as much as I'd like! But like @Lulumam said, I think that's due to comfort eating. My boobs are still bigger than they were before, I don't really think they've gone down, they just don't feel as swollen. I've struggled with body confidence after both of my MC's due to the change in my body x

@Lulumam Thanks, I'm really hoping they accept it. Glad to hear you're on the waiting lists hopefully you get seen soon x

@WildflowerPetals @Lulumam thank you so much both for your good wishes. I have had the procedure and am now just waiting to be told I can go home. Partner is waiting to be summoned.

I’m sorry others have not had the full range of options they should. It always feels like women’s health is bottom of the pile. Although I can’t fault the kindness of the staff who I have seen today.

I got my first period a couple of days ago after my miscarriage. I’ve been crying all day. The cramps are awful and I am so sad.

@OttilieKnackered how are e you doing today? I hope you managed to get plenty of rest xx

@graciepoo I’m so sorry, are you able to do anything nice for yourself? I know that doesn’t make it go away but so important to be kind to yourself. I’m still waiting for mine but think I must be due quite soon and I’m worried about how I’ll react.

I’ve been feeling a bit numb this week, not sure if I’ve processed it fully really or just blocked it out.

@PrettySad I thought I was 12 weeks and even though the baby had stopped developing at 7 I still felt I looked 12 weeks- small bump and just generally I’d put on a little weight. I haven’t lost is although my tummy has gone down, but I haven’t done any exercise and have eaten worse than usual so I think that’s to be expected. It will settle, can you start up or return to any healthy habits? I’m going to start exercising in my lunch breaks again this week.

@MrsFLongbottom I’m ok thank you. Some moderate cramps still but not too much bleeding. I’m attempting a day out shortly which hopefully will be a good distraction. Very thankful to have a supportive partner through this.

I am also feeling like I still look a big pregnant. I too only technically got to 7 weeks (but would be 11 weeks tomorrow) and I’m not sure if it’s a slightly swollen uterus or just the extra snacks I’ve been having to stave off nausea.

Like a PP I am looking to get back in to working out like I was before I got a positive, but I will wait for the bleeding and cramping to stop first.

I read that most don’t ovulate right after a miscarriage so the period after a loss is harsher. Mine is so awful. The worst period I’ve ever had in my life.

@graciepoo I’m sorry your suffering so much with your first AF post mc. Mine lasted longer and was heavier than usual but not too painful so I’m really sorry to hear you’re suffering. I’ve done opks after my first AF and it showed a peak so not sure if I’ve ovulated or not but seemed a good sign my body is bouncing back even if my heart is taking a little longer. @MrsFLongbottom hoping your first AF will be more like mine.
@OttilieKnackered I’m glad you aren’t in too much pain post mc and you have something to look forward to. I suffered a huge emotional crash a week post mc which I think was due to hormones falling and I know we are all different but just wanted to reassure you if it happens it’s normal x

@luluman thank you so much for your kindness. And those others previously on the thread. I am only 9 days on from the bad scan myself. It seems like weeks ago, it really does.

No crash for me yet (in face the opposite on today’s evidence) but that is very useful to know if it does now happen.

Hi all
I may have posted in this thread before but if so it was a while ago. I'm just (finally) having my first period after a mmc discovered in April at 8 weeks. I had a MVA in early May then went back a month later for retained tissue (was still bleeding off and on at that point). I had a repeat MVA in early June and now my period has arrived about 5 weeks later.

This is my second mmc - my first was in Feb 2019, again around 8 weeks. I became pregnant a cycle after my ERPC and now have a healthy 17 month old son. I know how immeasurably lucky this makes me.

We have gotten pregnant first cycle each time which has made me wonder about the "unfussy womb" idea that I have read about - does my body just attempt to develop any embryo even when it should know that it's not viable? Or is it just bad luck that 2 of my 3 pregnancies have ended in mmcs?

I do worry that I have an unrealistic expectation that I will get pregnant immediately again and I may struggle if this is not the case. Equally, if I do get pregnant I know I won't be able to feel positive about the pregnancy (even to accept it's real perhaps) as I will now expect the worst no matter what. I had almost convinced myself that the first mc was just bad luck and allowed myself to feel positive this last time (no negative symptoms, just went in for a reassurance scan) only to find that perhaps being guarded wasn't a bad thing.

Hi all.

I have a quick question about surgical management of MMC. I had mine on Friday and have since bled pretty lightly (and getting lighter) and it has all been brown blood). However, I have gotten up this morning to some bright red blood and while I wouldn’t call it heavy (it hasn’t soaked through the pad), it is definitely heavier than what I have been experiencing.

Should I panic or is this normal?

Hi all, I've wrote in other threads so hope I'm ok to write here too, just after more advice/support.
I had a mmc at 8 weeks, baby measured 6+5, I had an MVA a week ago today. I initially bled a bit which settled after 24-48hrs to minimal old blood which continues. However I feel like the pain & cramps are getting worse, today I just feel like my uterus is always angry and inflammed, having a full bladder and opening my bowels is also really painful. I'm trying to do small things to keep my mind busy eg go for a walk but then this makes the cramps worse. Is this normal? I know I can ring the EPU but don't want to waste their time if this is normal.
I just want the pain to stop, it's a constant reminder of what's happened and I feel like I can't process what's happened as it's still happening. TIA.