Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Hey @Guineapiggiesmalls sorry to hear this is happening to you. When I started bleeding I also tried to read up so I'd know what to expect, and I found that there were some horror stories and also some people saying their MC was pretty much fine from a physical standpoint. In the end what happened to me was somewhere in between, not horrific but definitely unpleasant. I had a natural MC so there are probably people here who can advise you better regarding management, but I think if I hadn't had a natural MC I would've leant towards ERPC. It seemed more straightforward and like some people who go for the medical route sometimes end up with an ERPC anyway due to retained products. My worry with ERPC was potential complications from surgery but I think that's very rare. There's tons of good advice on this thread and also earlier versions of it so you may find it helpful to read through earlier posts. Normally the link to the previous thread is found in the first post of each thread.

Look after yourself and let us know how you get on.

Hope your appointment is ok today @Guineapiggiesmalls

Thanks everyone, I’m so grateful for the support. Because I was only nine weeks we’d only told a handful of people so hardly anyone knows what’s going on in real life. I really appreciate having you here ❤️ I started bleeding quite heavily last night and was passing clots for about two hours, but it’s really tailed off now and is sort of a light period (which is typical when I’ve just ordered a huge box of maternity pads from Amazon!). I’m hoping that the worst physically is over, but hopefully a scan later on (after lunch) can give us a better picture.

Thanks again x

@Guineapiggiesmalls hopefully you'll have passed everything and they can confirm with a scan. That's what happened with my first. Hopefully it goes as well as it can.

@Guineapiggiesmalls that sounds fairly positive, hopefully then you won't need further management. Let us know how the scan goes 🤞

Hello Guys,

So i had an early Miscarriage last week ( it's been a bit emotional, had 5 blood tests as my HGC levels wernt dropping and they thought it was Ectopic) Anyway, they are now convinced its a Esrly misscarriage as my levels have dropped substancially over the weekeend.

I Bled for around 5 days and stopped bleeding last week. Today i have started bleeding again, not heavy though.

Has anyone else experienced bleeding on and off since they MC?

I will probably call back the EPU For their advice but just wanted to see if anyone had a similar experience.

Hi everyone

Joining this thread as I have created a post but thought it better to join in here...

I’m 29- and I am desperate to start my family.

We decided to start TTC Oct '20 and I was thrilled to find out I was pregnant in Nov '20. I had very minimal symptoms and overall felt great- I genuinely thought I was so lucky. Flash forward to my privately booked 9 week scan, where I was told that my pregnancy had stopped at 6 wks 4 days, and I would need to visit my EPU for confirmation of the loss.

Anyone who has been through this before will know how daunting and drawn out the MMC process is, I choose the natural route and it’s safe to say Christmas '20 was one of the worst times in mine, my partners, and our parents life.

I tricked myself into believing I had moved on and ready to ttc immediately after my first first period, and when this led to a negative test all my grief and heavy emotions came FLOODING back to me, it was as though the miscarriage was happening to me again. I know now, I had put far too much pressure on myself.

March came, and we were successful! I was thrilled, terrified, happy, cautious and felt a feeling of doom! But I had much stronger symptom’s’ this time, the nausea was real, and the naps were essential… both my own mother & partners mother were delighted I had these symptom’s because this meant everything was going ok with the baby.

Then, about 4 weeks ago now I found blood when I wiped and went straight out to my EPU- I should of been 8 wks & 5days, yet here we go again I was measuring 6 wks and 6 days- repeat visit the following week to confirm the loss.

This time I went ahead and opted for ERPC, which for me I felt was traumatising due to the wait in the hospital the cramps from the tablet they gave me, and the further pain I felt afterwards.

I ended back in hospital as the pain was not stopping, to be told that they didn’t ‘‘go as hard because you’re young, so there will be still products left over that will pass naturally’’. I was scanned then, and to top off my terrific time at the hospital I was informed of a Dermoid Cyst on my right ovary, and I was told to remember the name because it was likely to cause me issues in the future and I was sent on my merry way.

I know now that I should of campaigned for myself more, I should of asked more questions but I was in so much mental and physical pain that I just couldn’t do that.

I now have a referral for a Bereavement Midwife to take both mine and my partners’ bloods to check for any issues or causes of these recurrent miscarriages, an appointment with my doctor with a list of bloods I want taken and a list of aliments that I think may have been having a knock on effect to my hormones, and an appointment with a highly recommended Gynaecologist to check this Dermoid Cyst…

I feel lost and I think I’m making steps in the right direction but my heart is irrevocably broken from these losses. I really love reading other people's stories for comfort and if anyone has anything similar to me with a positive outcome in the end I'd love to hear about it too xxx

@DotyHope so sorry you are going through this. can I ask why you are having investigations after two loses? I wish I was able to get some investigations started but I've been told I need to have 3 before they will make me an appointment.

I asked my consultant to help me figure out why this is happening so she sent a referral back to the hospital for me then so I think I just got really lucky!!

Hey @Josiemmm, I didn't have that with my MC (the bleeding was consistent throughout although it did vary in heaviness) but when it stopped that was it, however I know from reading these threads that quite a few people have said this has happened to them, so I don't think what you're experiencing is that uncommon. Still worth speaking with EPU but hoping to reassure you that you aren't alone there.

@DotyHope very sorry to hear your experience, it sounds like a really difficult time but I think it's very positive that you've taken such decisive action now to investigate the causes of the MCs - it sounds like you're doing everything you can to deal with the situation. I had an MC at 8w where the baby only measured at six weeks. It was a natural miscarriage and compared to some people's experience I really can't complain, but the pain was substantial and the mental struggle of not knowing that was going to happen and how bad it would be was probably the hardest part. I totally agree that we just get left to deal with it on our own with very little support and, what's worse, basically no follow-up afterwards. I had a horrible time at the EPU after my scan which confirmed the MC was complete, where they basically forgot about me for over an hour and no one came to speak to me about the scan like they said they would. It wasn't until I went to the reception desk for the third time in tears asking if anyone was going to see me that one of the doctors apologised and took me through the scan results. Then they handed me a leaflet with 'your miscarriage' on the front and sent me on my way. There was absolutely nothing after that, they don't check on your physical or mental health.

I can't say yet whether I will have a positive outcome because I'm still early in my post MC pregnancy but I had a healthy 10 week scan. I'm trying not to be happy yet as so much can go wrong and I have zero symptoms which is always worrying.

I've heard stories and seen a lot on these forums about people having multiple miscarriages and having healthy babies after, so try to stay positive. I would highly recommend the Lesley Regan book about miscarriage if you haven't read it. it's very scientific in its approach (i.e. not that sentimental) which some people dislike but I found it super informative and generally comforting. Knowledge is power so they say!

Take care and please come here to vent whenever you need!

Does anyone else feel a bit let down by their friends response to your miscarriage? Most of my friends have been so lovely and supportive but my 2 best friends haven't been there for me at all. They knew it was looking like a mmc and when my scan was etc but didn't text to see how it went, similar for when I went for my op and following complications. I don't expect cards of gifts or anything like that, just a how are you text. Whereas some friends who I'm not as close with have been amazing checking in on me and offering support. It's just made me really question my friendships. I know mc isn't an easy topic to talk about but just how are you means so much!

@BaaBaaEmily I did, especially from those saying- ah it's one of those things, it happens! Excuse me- it happened to me 4 times so a bit of understanding would help... I think you really get to know who your true friends are when you go through difficult times in life such as experiencing MC. Sending a text to your close friend is a minimum one should do...

I can see a lot of new names here, which is sad but great in a way to have such a support from this group...
I only wanted to share my latest findings which is that genetics testing post D&C showed no genetic anomalies, the report says: normal femal fetus... my body killed my healthy baby girl.. its difficult to live with that. It was cervix incompetence and is likely to happen again, God only knows why...

I'm sorry to hear that @Doremifasol. Have you been told if thet s any treatment that can be given to prevent it causing miscarriage in future?

@BaaBaaEmily I agree, people's reactions are different from what you might hope. I told very few people, and the only people who knew when I was actually going through it were my closest family. They did check in with me during the MC, but afterwards they stopped asking and also downplayed it saying it's just a heavy period. I think it may have something to do with people who've been through a MC or significant health event and those who haven't. Sometimes I think people just don't know what to say so they say nothing, which hurts for the MC sufferer as it's so lonely and isolating.

@BaaBaaEmily I totally agree. I know it's hard to know what to say but saying nothing is so hurtful.

I really find the support here helpful x

Hi, I had my 12 week scan yesterday, started bleeding an hour and half before, scan confirmed MMC at just over 7 weeks. I had the same thing happen April last year, went to my 12 week scan (no bleeding that time) and was completely blind sided that the baby had only grown until just over 7 weeks.

I'm heartbroken as it took us nearly a year to conceive again and I was feeling positive until the bleeding started. Also, I'm worried that if we do conceive again the same thing will carry on happening as I've no idea why it happens and why at 7 weeks. I feel like there's very little information about MMC and I don't feel supported by my GP. I'm so glad these sort of threads exist where people can share experiences and not feel so alone and lost x

@WildflowerPetals so sorry for your losses. I think I recognise you from the December thread that I used to follow (which I'v now hidden). I also had a MMC I found out last week at 10 weeks though I started spotting.
I passed my baby yesterday, I think I'm in shock that it all happened so fast as my cervix was still closed and no blood seen on the scan on Monday.
MMC is so cruel that you walk around thinking everything is going well when really the baby has stopped growing.

@im2sad Yeah I was on that thread. Sorry you find yourself here too. MMC is very cruel, you're given this false sense that everything is okay when it's not. I had a scan at 7 weeks 1 day and the baby had a heartbeat, I thought that meant that everything would be okay but unfortunately not. I hope you're doing okay, I'm here if you ever want to talk x

Hi everyone, firstly I am so sorry for all your losses, none of us should be here, it is all incredibly so unfair & painful words cannot describe how're this is my story.
I had a scan at 6+3 weeks only because I had contacted my doctors regarding a terrible chest infection and mentioned I was pregnant and had had some light spotting (implantation bleeding) I was so nervous ahead of the scan, my partner held my hand and we both cried when the sonographer advised I was measuring as expected versus my dates and there was actually two sacks, 2 yolks and 2 strong heart beats. We left that scan absolutely elated and we both spent the next few weeks/month walking a little taller & proud getting more excited as time passed. When I had reached 10 weeks I noticed I didn’t feel quite as tired or nauseous, my boobs not as sore and genuinely felt normal, I googled frantically for advice, everything pointed towards missed miscarriage but also I got mixed messages about the placenta taking over around this time, I worried for another week up to 11+3 praying everything was okay, I did everything by the book, vitamins not too much exercise, scared of sex, avoided baths only showered, ate all the right foods, Saturday came and I was keeping busy I went to the toilet and as I wiped I knew my happy world had come crashing down, I could feel it was too wet for after a wee, I looked and saw the most blood I had seen in ages on the tissue, very dark tinged, I didn’t bother calling the EPU, I jumped in my car and drove down there, I explained everything, I overheard a nurse saying ‘what does she expect us to do?’ I was sat in the waiting room and a sonographer collected me, she explained best thing to put all our minds at rest would be a TV scan, I felt hopeful she didn’t seem concerned, as she was moving the camera instrument around her eyes narrowed and she asked the accompanying nurse for a second opinion, they both looked sad , she asked me about my dates and I explained approaching 12 weeks, she explained neither of the babies had progressed past my last scan, so we’re still measuring 6+3 and there was no heartbeats. She said ‘I’m so sorry’ I typically replied without thinking as I was in shock ‘it’s ok’ as though I was sorry to of wasted their time because my body is stupid and had been carrying around 2 babies that had passed for a good month! The nurse looked me in my eyes (behind her mask) took my hands and said ‘no, it’s not okay it really isn’t’ and that’s when it hit home, my start of a crippling agonising depression that I don’t think will ever leave my side. I am absolutely miserable and numb, I wish I had gone with the babies, I genuinely do not see any hope for the future and every day is a constant battle with PTSD anxiety and just deep sadness and depression.
It is approaching 3 weeks since I passed them, that experience is something I will never forget and will haunt me forever, I just wondered how anyone is feeling 3-4 weeks on, recovery wise and mental health. It feels as though once the medical part is complete and they are satisfied infection risk is low and I have not retained any product you are left on your own to grieve and deal with the fall out. I am really sad and would appreciate anyone reaching out to me privately or via this thread, I have never felt so anxious and lonely in my entire life. x

@PrettySad so sorry to read your story. I think everyone heals at different rates so don't be too hard on yourself. I'm 9weeks on from my second miscarriage and still get upset occasionally I think that's natural. I also saw both of my babies on scans which I think is hard because it gives hope.
Try to rest and get help from your gp if you need it.

@PrettySad So sorry you find yourself here and sorry for your losses. I'm currently going through my second MMC and, like you, we had an early scan and felt so reassured when we saw a heartbeat and then my symptoms disappeared but was reassured that it was normal, but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. From what I can recall from my first MMC I wouldn't say the sadness and the feeling of loss ever completely leaves but it does get much easier. Please talk about it to friends/family as much as you wish to, anyone who cares about you will be willing to talk and help you through this. I totally understand that it can feel like a really lonely place right now and that no one understands, but there's so many amazing women on these forums who are more than happy for you to rant and help you find a way through your emotions. Feel free to DM me if you ever want someone to talk to privately. Take care of yourself x

@WildflowerPetals please can you advise how I can pm you? I'm using the app

@PrettySad I don't think you can PM via the app unfortunately, looks like you can only do it on the browser version x

Hi @WildflowerPetals @im2sad @PrettySad and really sorry to hear about your losses. Miscarriage is such a lonely experience, and I completely agree that the health system is not there for women who suffer it. We get minimal support during MC and nothing afterwards, it's actually quite horrifying in 2021 how harsh it all is. All I can say is that it does get better, the pain does lessen with time. When I had my MC I was broken and couldn't imagine ever even having sex again, and then a short while later I felt better and started trying again. Everyone heals at different rates and it depends on the details of your experience, but with the right support things will get better.

When you're feeling like you need to vent please come here, everyone in this group has been through MC and understands the loneliness and isolation it causes. Sending lots of love to you all ❤️

I am 7 weeks today and rushed to the hospital yesterday when I wiped and saw pink.

They tested my HCG and it decreased from 993 on Thursday to 885 on Saturday. They told me it was a miscarriage.

I chose to pass it naturally at home.

I feel like a failure. What have I done to deserve this? Is this karma? Will I be able to conceive again? Am I being punished by God? What if I can’t have children?