Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Hi,

I’m new to this but looking at comments it really helps to know I’m not alone.

I had a mc 2 weeks ago at 5 weeks and 6 days. Took a few days for Early Pregnancy Team to confirm it as it was still early days.

Am heartbroken, had a total meltdown in the bank the other day about literally nothing. Anyone else had days like that?

Feeling a lot of pressure to go back to work this week, had 2 and a half weeks off. I know it probably would be good to be back but not sure I am up to supporting others with their worries and stress which is a big part of my job. That just makes me feel like another thing I have done wrong. When have others been strong enough for work?

Thanks for the support x

@BrokenDragon so sorry you are going through this. I think it might be time to see your gp about getting help. Everyone is different and needs time to heal but if you're still not ready to work after almost 3 weeks I would talk to someone.
What is it that's worrying you about going back?

@spookycookies I think it’s most not being sure I won’t totally overreact or end up in tears. I am a teacher but most of my job is pastoral support and not sure I’m strong enough to support families with their own losses or mental health issues.

@BrokenDragon I'm a teacher too. I think you won't know until you're back. It might take your mind off your own problems. Do your school know why you are off?
But if it is that upsetting I would go and see a gp it's not a bad thing to get extra support if you need it. I think miscarriage support is woeful.

@BrokenDragon I’m sorry for your loss, I hope your ok, it’s an incredibly difficult time and you should only go back when you feel ready. It might help to go in and see how you feel, depends what your work are like though if people there know or are supportive. When I had a MMC last September I did have about a month of that was mainly due to the fact unfortunately for me it was very drawn out MMC which in total took 3 weeks for me to stop bleeding all together. (I’m a hairdresser and the blood loss was quite extreme hence why I couldn’t really work until I knew it had passed) When I went back I was happy for the routine and distraction but I still have moments of sadness rush over me. I still have these moments randomly now and there’s nothing wrong with that it’s a heartbreaking thing going through a loss. Don’t be to hard on yourself and there is help out there if you need it ❤️

Thanks Spookycookies, good to know you coped ok being back. I’m sorry for your loss.

Thanks for sharing Nashsophie13 I’m sorry to hear about your loss too.

I will talk to my work about how I’m feeling and see if they can help so I feel easier about going back on Wed. Thanks for listening :)

I'm 2 weeks post MVA, had almost no bleeding first 4 days or so and then it picked up, now I've had 2 incidences of heavy bleeding with lots of clots, both of which have started overnight.

I'm not super worried about it as it's very similar to the bleeding and clots I had post the birth of my son, and those went on much longer than expected, was checked out in hospital and they didn't find any reason. I think it must be just how my body heals. Can't remember the healing after my prior miscarriage really but my husband says it was similar.

However I'm hoping it stops soon as I've had to call out sick today - no way I can go in as I have to keep rushing to the toilet and am going through pads like never before. Feels weird to call out after being back at work for a week but didn't really feel there was another option. I'm a teacher too and can't be running out of class over and over again for fear of soaking through my clothes 😩

@coconutlatte44 sending you lots of love. This sounds very similar to when I had mine last September.one went one for 3 weeks in total stop start but when the bleeds happened I can sympathise with you about not being able to be at work because it’s just to much. As you’ve been checked out there’s prob nothing to worry about. With me though I knew something wasn’t quite right, and eventually the gyno looked physically and I still had some retained inside me that was very stubborn to get out so that’s why my bleeds kept expelling. Hopefully that’s not the case for you and it will settle but might be worth just noting incase it doesn’t settle ❤️

Sorry for your loss @BrokenDragon it's completely understandable to still be really emotional so soon after mc. I felt like I should be back in work straight away but wish I had taken longer. I think take the time you need, and don't feel bad about it, everyone processes things differently and some people going back to work and being busy is the right thing whereas for others just being able to have time to themselves is better.

Have you spoken to the EPU/gp @coconutlatte44 ? My bleeding had pretty much stopped then I had a random heavy bleed, I contacted my EPU who said it can be normal but to keep an eye on it. I'd get in touch if I were you as it's better to be checked out (or at least have some reassurance from a medical professional).

Thanks guys, @BaaBaaEmily & @Nashsophie13 no haven't spoken to EPU, it's less that it's started and stopped and more that it had a delayed start and then has been pretty consistent since it started - with the exception of these two heavier days. Last night/today has been the worst by far. I don't have any pain or anything, it's just the blood.

Tbh if it doesn't slow down today I'll prob call as I won't be able to function like this for too long!

@coconutlatte44 I think that’s a good idea too ❤️ Hope your ok x

@coconutlatte44 just make sure to keep an eye out. If you're soaking through a pad in an hour then you should go to a&e or at least call the epu.

Sorry for your losses @BrokenDragon @Josiemmm and hope you're doing ok. It seems like the time off work really varies, some people seem to prefer going back sooner for the distraction whereas for others more time is needed. Especially if you're physically unable to be at work due to bleeding, employers need to be understanding of a medical need. I agree with @spookycookies that miscarriage support is absolutely awful.

Sorry to hear it's dragging on for you @coconutlatte44 please keep us posted on how you go.

@Nashsophie13 hope you're doing ok and your spotting has stopped?

@AlbiMix thank you, it hasp so I’m feeling hopeful about that. How are you lovely? Xx

@Nashsophie13 oh that's great news :) are you planning to have an early scan or just wait it out until 12w?

I'm ok thanks, have sort of accepted the uncertainty of not knowing what's going on in there. I'm hoping to book a private scan this weekend for 10w but after my MC I'm a bit superstitious and will only book a scan max three days in advance 😂

@AlbiMix I’m unsure what to do about the scan as I had one last time and then had the MMC so not to sure think just going to wait for the 12 week one but I’m so impatient! Keep me updated with how you get on I’m sure it will be ok how are you feeling x

I appreciate that people are getting pregnant after loss and find support from this thread but I'd really prefer if you could keep pregnancy chat to a different thread.

@spookycookies I have tried to keep anything pregnancy related to another thread but I have only seen @Nashsophie13 on this one. Sorry this has been upsetting for you.

The TTC after MC thread is here for anyone who wants to post about that without upsetting people on this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4236516-MC-crew-Thread-10?pg=4

@AlbiMix I think I was just in a bad mood. Thanks for reposting the link. Hopefully I'll be able to join it soon. 🤞🏻

No worries @spookycookies you should absolutely say if you're being upset by pregnancy talk on this thread, the reason the other one was created was particularly because people thought that some on this thread might not be ready to hear about pregnancies. I'm very conscious of not wanting to upset people with pregnancy announcements and stuff (as I know how painful it is) so I am sorry about this.

It took me a while to be able to look at that other thread, but when I was ready for TTC it was such a comfort to see other women getting BFPs and supporting each other through what is a horribly anxious time. I hope you'll join us at the right time for you

Hi, sorry to anyone who is on this thread. I’ve come over from Due In December, my due date was meant to be Christmas Day, but when I went for a scan at 9 weeks yesterday our baby only measured 5+6 and no longer had a heartbeat. I’ve got an appointment at our EPU on Tuesday afternoon, but not really sure what to expect? I’ve had a bit of spotting for the last two weeks, but my body seems to think I’m still pregnant. Just feeling a bit isolated and finding lots of slightly frightening stories online.

Hi @Guineapiggiesmalls sorry you're on this thread. I experienced similar last month, baby was measuring 3 weeks behind and no heartbeat. Was referred to EPU who scanned me then brought me back a week later to confirm just in case my dates were wrong (I knew they weren't). I spent that week reading up on the different managements as I wanted to be able to make my decision as soon as it was confirmed. I didn't have any signs of miscarriage at all so can't advise on the spotting sorry.

Thank you Emily. I had a scan 2 weeks ago (because of the spotting) where they saw a heartbeat so I’m not sure if they’ll make me come back again if there’s no heartbeat tomorrow (as I’m expecting after the scan yesterday). I can’t imagine how tough that week would have been for you, I hope you’re doing ok now x

Hi @Guineapiggiesmalls sorry you're going through this. Try not to read any horror stories but you might like to read up on management options so you're prepared when you go tomorrow.