Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Thanks. Not really sure what to ramble about but nice to have a place to do so. I’m just devastated by it. I’ve been so tearful and grumpy which is confusing my toddler and that’s just making me feel shittier. I have no idea how long I should leave it to try again (the nhs advice is so very sparse) and I’m so scared it’ll happen again that I don’t know if I can cope with the anxiety of trying again anyway.

@whatwouldnigellado have you had your treatment and had your periods return? You need to give yourself time to heel mentally as well as physically. And I do think you need to be in the right frame of mind to try again. Your toddler won't remember mummy being a bit grumpy. Don't be hard on yourself it's a bereavement.
I'm waiting until my periods return and then I'm ready to try again straight away. But that's personal choice. This is my second miscarriage and I waited for my period to return last time also.

Thankyou so much lovely @AlbiMix ❤️❤️ that's such good advice! I definitely keep looking too far into the future, in reality I suppose anything could happen at anytime so focusing on small milestones feels manageable! I'm so so happy for you too ❤️ I was due on today so I'm 4 weeks, so that means if I get to next Sunday I've made it through to no chemical pregnancy? Are you on another thread anywhere for BFPS after miscarriage? Xx

Thanks that’s helpful to know. Had surgery a few days ago (I know it being so soon means shouldn’t be thinking about trying again yet, just a racing brain).
Just all a bit shit really isn’t it. I spent all of the first 16 weeks checking for signs of mc and feeling relieved I had no bleeding/pain ect and then it turns out that even without any of those things that stuff can of gone wrong sigh.

Hi all I'm just back from the hospital today. Despite starting to bleed they have said I need to start the process of medical management. I was quite surprised at this. I've to go back tomorrow for a tablet then in on Thursday again? I forgot to ask do
You stay in hospital with the tablets? I'm sure she said I would need to stay in all day Thursday. Can't concentrate properly
X

Really sorry for your loss @whatwouldnigellado , that sounds incredibly tough. You're so right that the information is not clear about when you can start trying again. Have you tried calling helplines, like Tommy's or the Miscarriage Association, for advice? Some people start trying as soon as they get a negative pregnancy test after the miscarriage, others wait until a period has come, some people need much more time to recover both physically and emotionally. It really seems to depend on each person's circumstances, but if you feel ready to try again, maybe you could call your doctor to ask them for advice. Sending lots of good thoughts your way.

@Flowerpowerxxx I didn't have management so I don't know the details but I think some people have the tablets and stay in hospital. Hopefully someone else with more knowledge of this can advise you. Hope you're not in too much pain right now lovely.

@HotCupOfNo I joined a TTC after miscarriage thread which was set up by ladies on this group, it's been amazing for support especially as I haven't told anyone I know about this pregnancy.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4198998-Recent-MC-New-cycles-trying-again-Thread-2?pg=39

There have been lots of BFPs on there now which is lovely to see and it's nice to get updates from people who are further along to hear how they're doing. I'm sure there are probably a few pregnancy after miscarriage threads but I haven't joined any others yet. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself.

@Flowerpowerxxx sometimes you can go home sometimes you stay in. I think It depends on how far along you were. I think if it's over 9 weeks it's advised to stay in hospital. I was given a choice and chose hospital. I was 9+3. Will only be for the day. I was home by early evening.
I would phone to clarify as you'll need snacks/entertainment and several changes of underwear. You might be given a choice. Hope it goes as well as it can.

@Flowerpowerxxx I stayed in hospital for medical management but I was 11 weeks. I think with some trusts if you are not to far along you can manage it at home. Sorry I can’t remember your story?

Probably best to ring and confirm. You don’t need more things to worry about right now 🙂

Sorry for your loss @whatwouldnigellado, that is a truly awful thing to go through. Both of my miscarriages have been relatively symptomless as well and it's totally shit, it really makes you lose trust in your body.

I'm headed into the hospital tomorrow morning for the MVA procedure. I had an ERPC last time a couple of years ago but the staff at the EPU said due to COVID they're encouraging MVAs now as it gets you in and out quicker. I'm a little nervous about being awake and about feeling pain but I also didn't love waking up after the procedure last time knowing the pregnancy was over, so maybe being awake will help me process it better? I don't know. Keen to get it over with either way.

Good luck today coconutlatte44. I hope it’s not painful and that you get to come home really quickly.

Flowerpowerxxx I stayed in hospital too. The baby had stopped growing at 9.5 weeks so they advised it, but did not insist.

whatwouldnigellado don’t feel bad about being missy at the moment. You can always just tell your toddler that you are feeling a bit sad and grumpy at the moment. It’s good for children to know that adults have emotions too, even if they’re not quite old enough to grasp it.

Feeling a bit rubbish today. The bleeding all stopped again for a couple of days, then I had a much heavier bleed yesterday, which I thought was my period starting (31 days since the last, so would make sense). It hasn’t continued though, and now I am more baffled and angry with my body. Hoping it might be a sign that it’s about to arrive, but who knows?!

Fiancee mced yesterday at 9 + 3. We will have a little ceremony for him/her. So sad :(

Hope it went well yesterday @coconutlatte44

Sorry to hear about your loss @EdwinBaber there's lots of good advice here and on this board.

Sorry your bleeding has started again @Miscarriage39 hoping it is your period coming.

I'm nearly a week on from my erpc and feeling so sad today - had to do some admin relating to the mmc which just brought everything back up, and DH told me he wasn't sure if he'd be ready to start TTCing straight away. I completely understand why he might not be ready yet but I desperately want to try as soon as we can so it's made me sad. I should be 12 weeks today and having my scan tomorrow so it's all just crap.

Thanks everyone, it actually wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. The pain was totally manageable and the staff (at Queen Charlotte's in West London) was amazing. The doctor who performed the MVA actually told me she had 3 mcs herself, 1 then dc1, then 2 more and then dc2 and 3. She didn't need to share this with me so I found it really touching and also encouraging w/regard to what comes next to me.

I had some mild pain yesterday and a bit of blood but not loads, and feel pretty decent today. I am still taking ibuprofen and paracetamol but the pain is very very mild.

@Miscarriage39 sorry you're still dealing with this annoying bleeding. Really really hope things normalise for you soon. Did they send you for that scan in the end?

@coconutlatte44 so happy your MVA went well, that doctor sounds absolutely lovely and it makes all the difference doesn't it? Rest up!

@BaaBaaEmily sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Maybe DH will come around sooner than he thinks. I think men tend to get on board with increased amounts of sex fairly quickly 🤣

@EdwinBaber so sorry for your loss. I hope you're both doing ok.

coconutlatte44 I abs o glad it went well and that you had a positive experience at the hospital. I hope the doctors story have you hope. Take it easy and make sure you are being thoroughly looked after.

BaaBaaEmily sorry your DH isn’t inboard with trying again straight away, at the moment. Has he said if he has an idea of when he might be ready? Have you had a chat about what is worrying him about it?

EdwinBaber I am so sorry you and your fiancé are going through this. A ceremony sounds like a lovely idea.

AlbiMix, no, the doctor said she’s refer me if it’s not better next week.

I'm glad it wasn't too bad @coconutlatte44 sounds like you had such a nice understanding doctor too.

I think DH will come around sooner rather than later, I think it's just still very early days and he's seen what I've been through the past week and is scared about that happening again. We hadn't had sex since getting a BFP so it's been a while so can't imagine he'll hold out forever. I do understand why he's feeling how he does though. I just think I have an overwhelming biological urge to be pregnant again even though it's been less than a week.

Hey @BaaBaaEmily I'm so sorry this had happened to you too
I've just went through the absolute torture of miscarriage and should be 12 weeks this weekend coming. Managed to pass naturally on Monday (no one warned me) and I'm still getting painful cramps. I'm same as you I want to try straight away but also feel I don't know if I can to through that again so soon if it happened again. One of my partners friends just announced a pregnancy and I feel so sad as we should be announcing ours next week :(
I feel so flat today. Been greeting in between housework and generally feeling sorry for myself. Have another week off work and need to be kind to myself to try and get back to some kind of normality. It's a struggle. Big hugs to all going through this xx

Hello all

I've been quiet on hear lately as my head is all over the place. This coming Monday i will be 8 weeks since surgery following a MMC (HB stopped at 9 weeks) and still no AF. 3 weeks after surgery i got a negative pregnancy results on a supermarket test. At 5 weeks i got a faint positive on FRER and have continued to get the same faint positive test tight up until 3 days ago. I have blood test on 26.03,21 to test my hcg levels and have just been told this morning its come back as boarder line so now im back on Monday for further blood tests.
Also the past two weeks i have bled after intercourse and sorry tmi but had discharge/spotting of a dark brown colour.
Has anyone experienced this? Can anyone shed any light at all as im so confused my head is all over....

I’m sorry you are going through this SamBass. Have you had any scans since surgery? If your HCG levels are still borderline, could there be some retained product? Sorry, I’m not much help. I’m just over 8 weeks on and am still having issues with irregular spotting, although my period has returned, so I know in little how horrible the ongoing complications feel. I hope they work it out soon for you.

@Miscarriage39 no no scan since surgery its so frustrating i just want a normal cycle to return. The blood tests and pregnancy twats are making me consider retained tissue but wouldn't i be in a-lot of pain and have bleeding??.....

No one tells you how frustrating the recovery process is do they? I feel like you're just left to get on with it no follow ups no nothing 😞

Sorry you're going through this too @Flowerpowerxxx it's heartbreaking isn't it. I went back to work yesterday but wfh so meant I could have some downtime if I needed (which I did!). I wish I'd taken more time off tbh but we're at a critical time in a project so I felt bad being off, especially as my colleagues don't know the reason why.
I know what you mean about being sad about other peoples pregnancies - I feel the same but I keep on reminding myself that I should be happy they're not going through what we are.
Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Sorry you've been stuck in limbo @SamBass that must be so difficult just waiting for a negative. Hope the blood tests show your levels are decreasing and there isn't any retained tissue.

First time posting on anything like this, I’m a bit nervous but I feel I need to talk.

I already have a little boy who’s 6, me and my oh decided to start trying for baby number 2 in September of last year and we found out we were pregnant in November. Sadly we suffered a miscarriage just a few weeks after, the week before Xmas sadly. We started trying again straight away and I was full of hope it would happen again soon, however we’re in May already and still not pregnant. I’m starting to lose hope each month that goes by I feel it’s never going to happen again, my period Isn’t due for over a week and I’m already sat here crying I feel so desperate.

@SamBass sorry to hear it's taking so long to get the closure. Did I understand correctly- you had negative test but then again positive after surgery? I am sure you would have mention- is there any chance it's new pregnancy?🤔 I can't really help with advice but just to share- I had ERPC just over 3 weeks ago for retained products ( miscarried over 6 weeks ago), I had a negative test few days ago but then bam this morning faint line is here again😫😫 Yes, in theory it could be new pregnancy, but I know there's no chance as there was not enough time between negative and faintly positive this morning so I am really annoyed as I was for once so happy to see negative test!!! I think all this testing is not good for my mental state, it makes me feel like I am in control, but I'm not as I haven't got a clue what my body is doing atm. I am going for yet another scan on monday to bloody early pregnancy unit!!😫😫

@Doremifasol so yeah i got a negative 3 weeks after surgery on a supermarket cheapy but then faint positive at 5 weeks after surgery on a FRER and still showing faint positives now! I considered new pregnancy but the line never got darker 🤷🏽‍♀️ also i have no other symptoms..

Really sorry you had retained tissue and had to go through that and now this! Fingers crossed it is a new one for you thou 🤞🏼 the hormones may have reduced before u actually tested though so you never know it might not have been too soon...