Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@treesall I took c 5 weeks with my previous MMC. I had ERPC (or D&C) yesterday for retained products and hope its going to be less than 5 weeks as I am stuck in this hell for 4 weeks already. Dreading the possibility it could be full 2 months ( if not more!) before my period returns.

Hi @Nich407 and very sorry you find yourself here. I just wanted to share my experience because I was in a somewhat similar situation and you asked for the good and bad, so I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I started bleeding at around 7+5 and I had booked a private scan for 8 weeks anyway so I went to it feeling pretty sure that it would be bad news. They told me the baby was measuring 6 weeks but there was no HB. They said it might just be behind or that my dates could be out, but I was pretty certain they weren't that far out. They told me to come back in a week to see how things were. After the scan my mum was trying to be positive but I spoke to a friend who is a midwife and she was very blunt with me, I think for my own sake. She said it was very likely that I was miscarrying and the bleeding would increase soon, she basically said I should have no hope. It was a bit brutal and hard to hear, but actually I think I needed to hear it so as not to hold onto hope that would just end up disappointing me. She was right, the bleeding picked up and I miscarried. A scan about a week later confirmed the MC was complete. I'm sharing this because I was also sort of in that limbo, although I was pretty sure something was wrong, the first sonographers said it could go either way and to come back in a week. I don't know if this will be the same for you, and I have absolutely everything crossed that it isn't. But if it is, please know you can get through it. I felt so upset and in a dark place, but things got better and I'm actually pregnant again (but obviously trying not to get my hopes up). Also I'm not going best the Clear blue digital tests this time, I don't think anything good can come of it 😂

@Ralala so sorry you had that horrible return to work but I think you did the right thing in making it known that it wasn't ok. I hope it improves for you, let us know.

@Doremifasol well done on getting through the ERPC, how was it?

@weathervane123 I completely understand your feelings regarding positive/negative tests. It's so weird to want a negative, and I remember being so anxious to take the test after the MC as I was afraid of how I'd feel seeing a negative. I actually felt really good about it in the end, it gave me some closure I needed. Also I recently got a BFP and can confirm that, while it has come with a huge amount of apprehensiveness, I was still really happy to see that second line - so you can get that joy back.

Lots of good vibes to everyone, take care!

*not going near the CBD this time, I meant!

@AlbiMix thanks for asking, its all been good, no complications. had a little meltdown in the theatre but staff were amazing and calmed me down l quickly. quite enjoyed my GA sleep I have to say😅 I have mild cramping & bleeding now but I know it will be better soon.
Countdown to negative test can begin...

Hi all,
Have made my way here following a shorter than expected first visit to the pregnancy forum.

@AlbiMix I’m actually here in a very similar situation to you. I am/was (that hurts!) 9+4 weeks, but have had some bleeding for a week and half, started off brown spotting but yesterday had a rush of red bleeding and today a coffee ground-type brown bleeding. I had spoke to the GP who referred me to the EPU, and I have had a scan this morning. Scan showed a little speck measuring 6 weeks with no heartbeat or one they couldn’t see at least. There is no chance at all that I am 6 weeks given when I had sex and based on when I got my first positive pregnancy test so I knew that this is the start of a miscarriage. I am also in that limbo where there was nothing particularly wrong with the scan, they just thought I could be earlier than expected so have said to come back in 10 days to see progress but they also get that from all my signs and dates it looks like I’m miscarrying. I wasn’t allowed my partner in during the scan with the rules at the moment so I found out alone and rushed off pretty quickly. Now I’m home I have so many questions.

I have been bleeding for a while now but they saw the yolk sack and embryo there so take it that hasn’t started to go yet. I am sure everyone is different but how long can I expect before I pass it completely? What kind of bleeding can I expect? I have no pregnancy tests currently, but also when can I expect to be negative? Does that signify that everything has left correctly? If I have a lot of bleeding and then a negative test do I still go for that second scan?

I also felt like I just knew, is that odd to anyone else, just normal pregnancy anxiety or did you feel something wasn’t right? This has been my first pregnancy so had no experience! Also for someone who isn’t superstitious at all, I just knew the moment I stopped seeing my two magpies as usual every morning and only saw the one for the past few weeks. God that sounds totally crazy!

Ah glad to hear all was well @Doremifasol :) onwards and upwards now!!

@catinthehat12 so sorry to hear you're going through this too, that does sounds quite similar to what happened to me. To be honest with you I didn't actually "just know", partly because I didn't have any symptoms at all (apart from hunger and more peeing) so I almost couldn't believe I was even pregnant. I had a gut feeling that it was going to work out, and it turned out that was wrong. But I think plenty of people have the opposite where they do just know something is wrong. In terms of the process, I'll share the details of my MC in case it helps (apologies in advance if TMI) but just to say that it seems like seems to be different person to person.

Like you, I started having some light brownish bleeding around 3 days before I had an 8 week scan booked. The bleeding went slightly redder but was still light when I had the scan. I said in the other post what they told me, so I won't repeat that. After the scan the bleeding picked up a bit and the next day became much heavier, but it wasn't uncontrollable for me and was a bit stop-start. I was getting pains that were like incredibly strong period pains, again very very painful but also manageable. My hot water bottle was a saviour. These pains let up slightly after a day, but at the end of that day, I felt something was dropping out of me and ran to the bathroom. It was a fleshy kind of fibrous little thing which I'm sure was the sac. That's what I had been fearing happening the whole time as I was afraid how I'd cope, but it happened fast and was better than I had feared. After that the pain didn't improve, it actually got worse for a couple of days and was almost contraction like (I think, as I've never had a baby but felt like it was waves, like contractions). That only lasted a couple of days and then the pain gradually stopped. I had a scan 6 days after the first one and they told me it was complete. I kept bleeding lightly for a few more days and then it was over. It was really really tough, but I felt proud that I came out the other side and you will too. I took 2 weeks to get a negative HPT and it was a huge relief when I did.

Let me know if you have any questions about any of the above and look after yourself ❤️

@AlbiMix Thank you so much for this. It was really comforting to read and really appreciate your offer of support. I have started having some cramping this evening. I just want it to be over now, I have already started to process the loss and I want my body to keep up with me so I don’t have to endure this for any longer than it needed.

@catinthehat12 so sorry for your loss. I'll say what happened to me in my first miscarriage as it might give an idea of timeframes. Obviously only based in my personal experience. I had light brownish bleeding and had a scan which showed baby and heartbeat. Bleeding turned red so had another scan 2 days later, no heartbeat. So I knew it was over. I was given some leaflets and told to come back in a few days to see how I wanted to proceed. They scanned me and I had completely passed everything. Bled for another week or so but took two weeks to get a negative test. So from brown bleeding to passing everything was 6 days. I didn't have any pain but don't usually have period pains anyway.
I would definitely go to your next appointment because even if the news is bad a scan will check for retained tissue or anything you might need further.
Just remember that if the pain gets too much to manage at home or you are soaking through a pad in an hour you need to got straight to a&e.
Look after yourself.

I’ve fallen off this thread a bit, so I’m sorry to see so many people joining. It all just sucks doesn’t it!

@treesall I tested at 10 days post MVA and it was a blazing positive, but today I’m 20 days post MVA and it’s negative so hopefully you’ll have the same.

I’ve had my negative test today and I’m going back to work on Monday. There’s a weird sense of it really all being done with now. I had been feeling a lot better, but now I’ve sort of got to move on, I don’t want to. Except I do want to move on to the point of being pregnant again! I can’t decide whether to start using the ovulation sticks before my period comes back or whether to save them because I could have already missed the boat this month and I don’t want to waste them. Of course all of this would require me to have the energy to actually have sex so it’s probably a moot point!

Hi guys, I found out I was pregnant last week, think I'm about 6 weeks, over the past couple of days I've passed a couple of stringy bits of brown discharge and sometimes have a bit of light brown discharge when I wipe. There's also a bit on my underwear too. Last night I had very mild period like pains. Has anyone had anything like this, is it the beginning of a miscarriage or could there be some hope?

@Junebug33 could be fine. Contact an epu for an appointment. They should scan you and you can get an idea of what's going on. Hope it's good news.

@catinthehat12 I'm glad that was helpful. If your pain is quite intense you could get some cocodamol from the pharmacy. I got some but only ended up taking two through the MC. I found the hot water bottle best for pain. Totally agree with @spookycookies about attending the scan as you'll want to know if it's complete. Let us know how you get on.

@PolarBear63 congrats on your negative test (seems a weird thing to say but I was so relieved when I got mine!). Maybe you could check CM to give a clue as to whether you might not have ovulated yet, if you get EWCM you could then try an opk? In my first cycle after the first post MC period I got a position opk around a day after I noticed EWCM. But tbh I'm really inexperienced in the opk field at this stage!

@Junebug33 I agree with @spookycookies, it may be fine at this stage, give EPU a call and good luck!

@AlbiMix I honestly know next to nothing about tracking ovulation! I only got some sticks so I felt like I was doing something useful towards getting pregnant again. A quick google of EWCM suggests I’ve probably missed the boat this “month” anyway, but I kind of feel ok with that. I’d probably have found it too stressful not knowing how many weeks I should be anyway. Plus I’m quite enjoying being able to exercise more strenuously, and the amount of retail therapy I have indulged in means I really need to get some wear out of these new clothes!

@spookycookies Another big thanks to you. Reading this thread has been comforting in a strange way.

@AlbiMix The pain hasn’t been too bad yet, but it is building. My pregnancy symptoms are also starting to really disappear.

It’s been a rough first 24 hours. I slept better than I expected, maybe because my sleep for the past few days has been poor from the stress, last night I had some relief in knowing what was happening. I took a pregnancy test today to know what the current baseline was and that was hard. I naively thought today would be ok and that yesterday would be the hardest day!

@catinthehat12 It does get easier. Even just 2 weeks ago I was really struggling, but I feel a lot better now. I still hate every pregnant person I see (and why the hell are there so many of them everywhere?! And the pregnancy announcements...) but I do feel a lot more like me again. You’re still right in the middle of it all, but you’ll get out the other side.

@PolarBear63 pregnant people and tiny babies are everywhere. It's heartbreaking. But I agree day to day life is pretty back to normal. Just waiting to start trying again.

Thanks @PolarBear63. If I am honest, new babies and pregnant ladies don’t trigger me as much as I thought they might. Perhaps because this is my first pregnancy and therefore miscarriage and also I got pregnant very very quickly, I had only come off contraception immediately prior so this hasn’t been an awfully long road for me, I am quite lucky in that sense. Overall I can still see that being me in the future so I am hopeful. Mumsnet has also made me realise how common miscarriages are and therefore how likely it is that those other pregnancy announcements and babies we are seeing were also following one or more losses. I am positive that that will be us all one day, even if it’s not right now. ❤️

@spookycookies They are aren’t they! Tiny babies don’t bother me but pregnant people... Oh I hate them. I’m getting better about seeing them out and about, but people I know who are pregnant I do struggle with. And every celebrity who’s announced a pregnancy recently is dead to me. I really want to start trying again now. I was feeling ok about probably having to wait until my period returns this morning, but now I just am done with waiting and want to get on with it. I’m kicking myself for not testing earlier this week so I could have tried before I missed the window. Which rational me knows is stupid but when did rational thinking come into this?!

@catinthehat12 That sounds like a positive attitude to have. I’d like to say that knowing other people have had losses and then been successful soothes me but it doesn’t! Which is mean really. It is definitely helping to be on here though. I really hope the horrible physical bit is done for you soon. How has it been today?

Hi ladies, I'm sorry for your losses.
I too went through a miscarriage. Mine happened over the Easter Bank Holiday weekend, I would have been around 7 weeks pregnant. Had a scan and bloods taken at the EPU on 13th April. Scan showed an empty uterus (I'm sure I passed the pregnancy on the 3rd of April, sorry if this is tmi but it looked a little bubble filled with clear liquid and a small reddish/orange speck inside). I did not have very heavy bleeding, compared to my previous miscarriage, it was more like a period and only lasted about 5 days.
I have been off work this week, due back in Monday. Im WFH so it's not too bad.
Completely agree with your comment @PolarBear63 I'm seeing pregnant women and new born everywhere I go!

*new born babies

@Rozed So sorry for your loss. And that you’ve had this happen more than once. This is my second and it’s knocked me a lot more than the first time.

I mentioned to my friend that I’d seen pregnant people everywhere and he just said “oh that’s annoying.” Talk about an understatement!

So went back for my follow up scan on Friday after 2 rounds of misopristol. Unfortunately there is still pregnancy tissue and I’m due in for a d&c on Tuesday. Just feel like this will never end :(

I had so much bleeding and it has continued, I just don’t understand. They say to try again after a month, but surely the lining is weaker after a d&c. How long until it’s replenished.

I’m so annoyed as I feel this could have been done at the start. The sac was measuring over 8 weeks.

@Conundrum12345 I feel your pain- I was in exactly the same position as you, had my D&C on Wed but feels like I've wasted a month hoping it was a complete MC, which it never was!! On a positive note pregnancy test has faded significantly and at this rate it looks like I could have a negative before 2 weeks mark.

Now question on D&C! I wonder if anyone on here experienced worsening cramps 3-4 days post D&C? I felt completely fine until yesterday morning when I started getting labour like cramps every few min... its so painful that even codein is not helping me. I really don't want to go to A&E and EPU is not open till 8am tomorrow...😞 this is so different to my previous D&C when I hardly had any pain or bleeding...🤔

Sorry, I’ve not been on here much over the past week or so. I am am really sorry to se meant new faces, and am truly sorry that you all find yourselves going through this hell.

Junebug33 I would say there is still hope. I had similar with both of my successful pregnancies. They said it was implantation bleeding both times. Interestingly, as had no bleeding at all with the miscarriage pregnancy (& baby grew to 9 weeks, but was MMc at 12). Good luck.

Conundrum12345 I am sorry you are having such a rubbish time. I hope your surgery goes well. If it’s any consolation, I found the surgical intervention really straightforward, and hope that you will too. I do get what you mean about feeling it will never end. I felt exactly the same when my medical intervention failed and I had to wait for surgery.

I am now six weeks on from discovering I had had a MMC. Everything was going well, in terms of had a negative test, then the bleeding stopped. I started spotting three days after the bleeding stopped, and was told that was probably my cycle returning. The only trouble is, my period started properly overly two weeks ago, and since then, I’ve continued bleeding. It’s not particularly heavy, but even now, it’s bright red and very stringy. I just want this to stop so I can move on, but it won’t. I’m starting to feel like I’ve lost all hope of ever trying for a baby again, and keep telling myself this may be a sign of peri-menopause (I’m 39). Sorry, just feeling very down today!