Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Firsttimemum38 I am so sorry you have been through such a traumatic time, on top of losing your baby. I am also sorry that your local area is being so restrictive on treatment options. If it helps at all, I started with medical management and had a manual removal of the sac for similar reasons. I can well empathise with the pain, and feel horrible that you had or experience that too.
As Scottishskifun says, dinky be afraid to ask for counselling if you think it would help.
I do think it is very difficult to be optimistic after what you have been through, and especially in the early days. I think for now, you need to try to be super kind to yourself and do whatever you can to get through these difficult days. I found that just being, laying in the sofa, pottering and chatting to DH really helped in the early days.

Conundrum12345 I hope the bleeding didn’t get any worse overnight this time. Can you call the hospital for reassurance?

IVFWarrior40 wow, what a difficult day. How are you feeling today?

@miscarriage39

No it was ok, seems to have calmed down this morning. Saw my GP this morning who gave me stronger pain meds and an injection to stop the nausea.

Hi ladies. Sorry to those of you who have recently miscarried 😓 it's a very hard traumatic time, but I'm glad there's lots of support on this thread.

I'm just after some advice - I'm on CD25 now after my MC, I've had very light brown spotting, only when I wipe, for three days and that's it. My heart rate has dropped to what it was at the start of my cycle that I got pregnant... is this my period? Just feeling so low and shit that my body won't sort itself out, even though it's only been three weeks. I'm very impatient and I know it's irrational, I just want to be able to start TTC again ☹️

@cupcakesandglitter have you got negative pregnancy test yet? If yes, I would say AF is around the corner for you. Unless of course there is a chance you could be PG again?
I am CD21 and still very strong positives so can't offer any advice as it seems I am weeks away from AF. my period would normaly start with some spotting for a day or so.
From what I gather 3 weeks is not long at all to wait for AF after MC but I completely understand how impatient you must be as I myself am driving myself crazy!

@cupcakesandglitter I felt the same as you after my MC, so anxious to know what was going in with my body and worried my cycle wouldn't settle back. I did get AF around 4 weeks after the MC and it was nice to see her for once! You'll get there too, I remember feeling just the same but it did come!

@Doremifasol I've got some coming tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant again, we were trying to DTD but only managed twice this month, mind just has been all over the place I guess. I'll test anyway just to be sure! I did get pretty much negatives after the MC so that's why I thought maybe this is AF? I've had blazing positives on OPKs for four days (they're negative now) so I wonder if my body was just having a huge surge? It makes me so angry at myself, I just want it to be "over" in that sense. Sorry you're still getting positives ☹️ I hope they turn negative too - that is such a horrible sentence to type out but I mean it with care, it's horrible seeing the positives knowing what's going on.

Thankyou @AlbiMix that's exactly it, I'm really scared it's just gonna mess everything up. Last time TTC took 18 cycles but my cycles were all over the place for the first year, I'm worried the mc will send my body back to being irregular and just make it horrible to TTC again ☹️

@cupcakesandglitter I know this is easier said than done, but try to stay positive because at this stage it's too early to worry that AF hasn't come, as you're only three weeks post MC, and from what I've read on here it's actually quite normal for it to take a while, so even if AF doesn't come just yet, it doesn't necessarily mean trouble. I've also seen people say on this thread that their first AF after MC was extremely light and just a couple of days of spotting, so that could be it too. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that it comes in the next few days!

@AlbiMix thankyou, I have a feeling that's what it is, so I'll treat it as a new cycle maybe and see if I can "start again" almost. I had a really heavy period with the MC so I'd assumed they'd be normal from then? Our bodies are so crazy, I hate the unpredictability more than anything

@Miscarriage39 - thanks for your support. I think I might be over the worst of it. Still cramping and bleeding but nothing like Wednesday. I also passed the placenta yesterday which was just awful. Just feel very fatigued today

@albimix - thank you, yes I think I’ve come through the worst of it. I’m actually looking forward to getting a negative pregnancy test. I thought about doing one now but there’s no point. I’ll just wait a couple of weeks.

Waiting to start trying again is taking too long. I just want my baby. I'm so sad today.

Hope this helps someone looking for answers- I was having consistently strong positive pregnancy tests even after 3 weeks since MC bleeding. Today I had scan at EPU and of course there is a retained tissue so I need ERPC, scheduled for Wed. I am a bit annoyed that when I called EPU the day after MC I was told no need to be seen as it SOUNDS like I passed all the tissue. Not sure how that can be determined over the phone but anyway... I feel like my closure could have been here much sooner had I been scaned few days after MC. From experience of my previous MC and ERPC I will still need good month or so for my period to return. Such a horrible limbo to be stuck in!!! I feel like so desperate and sad😞

@IVFWarrior40 my feeling was that if I knew it was still to early for it to be negative, I was just wasting a pregnancy test 😂 so I waited two weeks.

@Doremifasol I'm so sorry to hear this, you're absolutely right, they should have scanned you after a few days to check if it was complete! It's awful that didn't happen. I really hope the next few days until Wednesday go quickly for you and that the ERPC goes well. You will get that closure soon. I'm sorry you're feeling so down, I've been really down too this week. Take care.

Sorry everyone is feeling so rubbish today- virtual hugs @Albimix and @spookycookies :( I feel the same - my first af is definitely on the horizon and I just keep thinking I should be nearly 15 weeks now and here I am tackling ttc all over again. Just not fair :( anyway. Just to say you're not in this alone ❤

@spookycookies I'm with you, I've had a sad day today too. It's so shit waiting isn't it.

@Doremifasol god that's awful that they said that over the phone, I'm so glad you were able to be scanned. Sorry it's dragged out the process for you, but I'm glad you're on your way to it all being over soon

@AlbiMix @kiwi17 sorry you're both feeling down too 😓

BFN this morning as expected. I would've been coming up to 10 weeks. Still no AF, still in stupid limbo and still just wanting to be able to start again and see into the future and know everything is going to be okay

Thanks @kiwi17 I'm meeting my friend tomorrow who is 35 weeks. I haven't told her about my second miscarriage as I didn't know how to tell her. It was the day of her baby shower and I don't want to ruin her mood I suppose. I'm just hoping it won't be too bad tomorrow.

And also it was my 12 week scan booked Monday so I know that's going to be hard.

Oh @spookycookies that's so tough. I was supposed to see a pregnant friend today but cried off on a pretense of work as I couldn't face her. She doesn't know but my oh met her oh and helpfully told him so I guess she knows know.. not very happy about that but hey. I hope you manage to have an ok day tomorrow - and Monday too. The missed milestones are the worst and it's not like we can even plan to do much to take our minds off it is it? Sending positive vibes ❤

Thanks @cupcakesandglitter @kiwi17 urgh I know what you mean, going back to square one with TTC is a exhausting isn't it.

@spookycookies that sounds really tough, you're very strong to be meeting with her. Do you think you'll tell her?

@HotCupOfNo don't know if you'll see this but have been wondering how you're doing, don't think I've seen anything from you for a while (hopefully a good sign!)

Happy weekend ladies!

@AlbiMix I don't plan to tell her. Although I told her I couldn't go to her baby shower because I was in hospital which was the truth I just didn't say why. If she asks why I'll tell her the truth.

Hi everyone, I hope you don't mind me joining.

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. It's a terrible thing to happen, but reading your stories has made me feel less alone so thank you so much for sharing.

I'm currently miscarrying at 6+5. Have been to EPAU and they diagnosed pregnancy of unknown location/missed miscarriage. I started spotting on Weds afternoon, and then by 5am Thursday morning I was bleeding. It's been heavy and I'm handling it naturally at home. I feel lucky that it happened early on, and that so far it's been relatively straightforward and mild on the pain front. I'm also hopeful my HCG levels will drop rapidly because I took two Clearblue digitals a day apart (before and then after heavy bleeding started) and the weeks indicator had reduced from 2-3 to 1-2.

I've had two previous losses, albeit very early on and a long time ago, so I've been referred to the recurrent miscarriage unit for support because my partner and I want to try again as soon as it's safe.

Emotionally I'm doing okay atm. My partner has been incredible and a huge source of comfort. We caught on our first month ttc #1, so I'm positive about trying again, if petrified that we'll get the same outcome. I'm 38, so we have limited time, I guess.

The nurse told me it could take up to two weeks for the bleeding to resolve and to take a test in three weeks. I'm crossing my fingers that my body is able to do this by itself swiftly. I just wonder though, when I should start to count my cycle days? I have no idea how to get back on track if that makes sense, and how to know bleeding is my period and not my miscarriage, if that can start and stop? If anyone has any ideas, I'd be more than grateful to hear them.

@spookycookies you're one strong lady! I've been to upset to speak with people who've announced pregnancies so I've just avoided. I hope today goes well, will be thinking of you!

@weathervane123 Hi lovely and so sorry for your loss. It's good that your pain isn't too bad so far. I miscarried at 8 weeks but the baby measured just over 6 so a bit similar to you. Mine was quite painful although not unbearable, the heavy bleeding lasted around 7 days but I'd say there were maybe 3/4 days of that where the pain was quite bad. I bled lightly for a couple of days either side of the heavier bleed.
In terms of your cycle, I think the first day of your bleeding is considered CD1, so similar to a normal period. My period app doesn't consider the spotting days part of the period and it starts counting from the proper bleeding days so I assumed the same for my MC. If your MC completes on its own, you will probably stop bleeding altogether and then there will be a few weeks before your period comes (seems to vary person to person) so you will probably know the difference, however I know for some people on here it was a bit blurred because they still had some spotting ongoing. If the pregnancy test is negative in a couple of weeks and then you start bleeding after that, I'd say it's the new period. If the test is still positive in a few weeks you should call EPU as it could mean retained products in there.

I'm no expert but the above is what I've learned from my own experience and the incredible ladies on this thread. Take care and if you have any questions please ask - the only positive thing about the MC is the ability to support others with theirs.

Thanks @AlbiMix that's really helpful. My app is the same.

I really hope my MC completes and I don't need any intervention. Already very keen to get back to square one, and I'm already considering my 'plan of action' as it were. Is anyone else doing this or am I just mad? I can't decide whether its being disrespectful to just want to get on with it or not.

@weathervane123 one thing I just thought of is that @Doremifasol said she didn't get a scan to confirm the MC was complete and it meant that they didn't find her retained products for three more weeks. I'm wondering if you would want to request a scan to confirm if your MC is complete? See earlier in the thread to see what I mean.

A lot of us from this thread have been getting back onto TTC, so a separate thread was set up to discuss this, to avoid putting TTC stuff on this one as it may upset those who are still going through an MC or just not ready to hear about TTC, etc. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4198998-Recent-MC-New-cycles-trying-again-Thread-2?watched=1&msgid=106377139#106377139

You'll see from many of our experiences that it's pretty natural to want to get back to trying. I waited until my second cycle post MC and actually got a BFP yesterday. I'm anxious and trying to take it a step at a time, but the TTC forum has been a great support.

Ooh congrats @Albimix!!

Welcome to everyone who has joined. I am really sorry you all find yourselves here, and going through this horrible experience.

AlbiMix congratulations! I have everything crossed for you.