Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@Conundrum12345 oh lovely I'm so sorry I have been in exactly the same position as you and had procedure to remove stuck tissue. Rest up as you will have lost quite a lot of blood. They will keep you in til the bleeding and you are stable.

Take care of yourself and take it very easy. For me it's taken a long time to process and I still have some triggers but it does get better slowly dealing with the trauma.

Morning ladies. Just a quick note to check in on how everyone is doing? I've been dipping in and put on MN. Hope everyone is well xx

My best friend has just found out she is 6 weeks pregnant, putting her only a couple of weeks behind where I should be right now. 😥 it's obviously not her fault in any way and I am over the moon for her but I'm absolutely gutted too. If anything this hurts more, I was coming to terms with loosing my baby 💔. I'm meant to be getting married in July, if covid plans go to plan and I would have been 5 months, now I'm going to be at my wedding watching her be what I would have been. I'm desperate to be pregnant again before the wedding to try and ease some of this feeling, but if I'm not past 12weeks all I'll be worried about is having a miscarriage at my wedding. Honestly so torn and broken right now. I want to be there for my best friend so much but I'm so angry at the universe for everything and I dont want her to think I'm angry with her.

Hi @AMS19 how are you doing? Not much to report over here, got discharged from EPU on 25th march after a clear us scan and decided we would ttc just to see so now 7dpo in the tww...trying to not symptom spot or get ahead of myself! @Pepperony87 I'm sorry you're having a tough day - I know kind of what you mean, one of my close friends who had her first 5 months after me has been saying for ages that we should do mat leave together again a second time round (like it ever works like that?!) But obviously fell the first month she tried and is due in June. I was at least happy mine was due 12 weeks after hers but now mines gone and she's happy as Larry. I get so angry and jealous of others, I think that's the emotion I've struggled with most of all throughout the mc. It's a sense that it's just not fair, why me, how is it so easy for some people mixed with a sadness that it's never going to be just a straightforward process now as we will always go to any successful pregnancy scans expecting the worst. Have you got someone you can talk to about how you're feeling?

@kiwi17 that's fab news you've been discharged. How are you feeling? I'm good thank you. On my 4th cycle and nothing happening for me so far. Trying to hold onto the faith it will happen when the time is right! Easier said than done some days. I honestly thought I would be pregnant by now 😭😭 xx

@AMS19 feeling physically fine and back to normal to be honest. I was surprised at how quick it went back to normal including ovulating. Emotionally, I feel ok but still struggling with dealing with other pregnant people etc and people that don't know what I've been through making inopportune comments. I guess I'm hoping that if I can get pregnant again soon it will be easier to deal with that but I know it could take a while (took 10 months with my first 😢). I'm so sorry that's so tough for you - I really hope it works for you this cycle 🤞🤞🤞 and you get your rainbow!!

@kiwi17 unfortunately she would be the person I would talk to about these things normally. Other half is brilliant bless him but it just isn't something he knows how to respond to. I'm dreading my own wedding now which is ridiculous. I know I need to focus on the good aspects of the wedding, I cant wait to Marry him.

@Pepperony87 oh that's even harder isn't it? I don't think where mc is concerned there are any emotions that are ridiculous. It just changes how we view everything especially things we had planned around the baby and expecting to be at certain stages in the pregnancy. Plus on top of that you have a wedding to plan which is hard work and emotionally draining too- even more so in our current lockdown climate! Be kind to yourself :) what are your wedding plans? Have you picked your dress yet? 😀 I'm finding my dh is actually struggling way more with this all than I thought I would which I guess surprised me. He's finding it hard to come to terms with it and being quite snappy and grouchy and then apologises but struggles again. I feel sad because I don't know how to help him. Is anyone else feeling like this? Any suggestions?

My sister in law is due the day my 12 week scan would have been. I'm really scared about how I'll cope. Don't want to be rude but it's going to be so hard.

@kiwi17 I totally know what you mean about getting pregnant again and that making it better! It also took me aaaaages to get pregnant so that makes things extra frustrating. The month I did get pregnant I had started taking conceive plus vitamins so no idea if it was them but I will try again! Also have been reading about 'fertility diets'- basically this whole thing making me go crazy. I read high protein is really important and also not to skip breakfast (which I always do)...so that's something to focus on at least...will be so good to move on from this current stage

@Pepperony87 all four of my best friends are either pregnant or just had babies so totally get how hard that is 😔

@spookycookies thats rubbish. I would be so tempted to hide but i know that's pretty much impossible with family :( hugs @dragonleo oh it's such a slippery slope isn't it?! I started reading stuff... ended up buying fresh pineapple to eat for implantation and putting a warm water bottle on my tummy in case my womb was 'cold' 😂😂 it's actually ridiculous the things I cling to but hey every little helps eh?! 😆

@kiwi17 honestly it'd so hard. We were actually all talking about this on the TTC chat the other day. Feel free to come join us when you're ready BTW. It's all the same crowd from here but chat is mainly around OPKs, how shit TTC is, etc. We do have some graduates now with BFPs so only join if you don't find it triggering. I personally find it so encouraging to see some of our girls having successful rainbow babies, it gives me such hope xx

@AMS19 that sounds good - which group is it? I'm on one of the ttc after mc boards but I think it's a different one. And I definitely like to hear success stories- when it's not people I know and I know they've been through the same situation then I'm happy for them :)

@kiwi17 this one is pretty much only us who were on here! We just didn't want to discuss TTC on these threads as it isnt fair on others, but it's all the same lovely awesome crowd of ladies!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4198998-Recent-MC-New-cycles-trying-again-Thread-2?msgid=106194313

Xx

@AMS19 great thanks see you there!

Hope everyone’s managing to enjoy the long weekend in some capacity. I’ve found being off work when everyone else is also off work helpful because things feel more normal.

@Pepperony87 that is so tough. I’m finding pregnancy announcements and pregnant people really hard to deal with. Way more so than newborns for some reason. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m also finding myself cross at people who I know have had one miscarriage but now are pregnant successfully again. That should have been what I had damn you! I usually quite like Meghan Markle but right now she is dead to me.

I’ve decided not to go near another pregnancy test until the end of the week, when hopefully it will be negative. My body doesn’t feel pregnant now so I naively thought it would be negative quickly. I’m not the most patient person and I just want it over and done with now!

Has anyone else found their skin completely awful just post miscarriage? I’ve always had hormonal acne but this is dreadful and really sore. Just adding insult to injury now!

Hi ladies, reading these messages about pregnancy announcements, I feel exactly the same @kiwi17 @Pepperony87 @dragonleo as you all do. A relative just announced a pregnancy and I messaged to say congrats but also to let her know about my MC and explain that I'm not able to engage with the topic of pregnancy. The response upset me because despite having just said that I couldn't engage with the topic at the moment, she complained about morning sickness and what people would think of her being unmarried. Am I being unreasonable to be upset about this because I'd give anything to have those "problems" it it meant I hadn't MC'd?

@birdbybird thanks for the encouragement, I need to try to be positive but it just seems like whenever I have a health issue it's always long standing and not a one off so I just fear this will be the same...

@PolarBear63 the preg announcements are the worst. One of my friends and I both have MC and I was extra happy for her when she got preg again. Was assuming when I eventually got preg again I'd also have the same happy ending...but sadly didn't work out that way. After 2 MC I feel like no one knows what to say anymore. To be honest the thing I hate most is the sad look of pity of peoples faces.

@AlbiMix that sounds super insensitive of your friend if you asked her not to talk about pregnancy. Especially to moan about feeling rough- we would all love that right now.

I think my bleeding has almost stopped (day 8). My last miscarriage was way worse in terms of pain etc- had 2 days of agony and so much bleeding, this time has been way slower and seemingly not as much. I hope it's completely come out. Can't wait to move on from this. I've booked a private appointment to check out there aren't any major probs and then going to start trying after next period 🤞

I'm finally starting to feel better after 13 days of covid still stuck in bed.
This has been the only time where in a weird way I'm glad to not be pregnant as I ended up with a moderate case and have been very ill having to take steroids, being assessed by paramedics and a trip to A&E etc. I couldn't have avoided it either as it came from asystomatic case at my sons nursery.

Your friend is being insensitive @albimix personally I wouldn't respond and hope that gets the message through!

I now need to sort out another date for a smear test and after being so ill we won't be TTC until I'm fully vaccinated but I know covid isn't mild for me now so want as much protection as possible for future.

Thanks @dragonleo & @Scottishskifun I haven't responded, don't want to be rude but just can't deal with it atm. I thought generally I was handling the MC ok but I've realised that pregnancy announcements are a huge trigger for major upset and also I think the reason I'm struggling so much still is that I just feel that having a healthy pregnancy is just going to be so hard to achieve.

@scottishskifun so so glad to hear you're on the mend from COVID, I was wondering how you were doing with it. I'm so sorry you had to go to A&E. I hope you're resting up and that those around you are ok if they have also been ill with it.

Thanks as always to everyone on here for keeping me somewhat sane ❤️

Thanks @albimix yes luckily it's just been me my DH had a head cold and my toddler had zero symptoms despite being positive as well.
Your not being rude not replying you were honest and then the mark was over stepped.
I don't think it's possible post miscarriage to have a pregnancy where it doesn't play on your mind and you fully relax. That's certainly my experience with friends who have had babies post miscarriage. But it is possible for you to carry to term with the right support in place it's just finding what that is

Thanks so much @Scottishskifun for the encouragement. It sounds kind of horrible but I'm almost TTC now on the expectation that there's something wrong and it's better to get the next MC over and done with sooner rather than later so I can start getting tests earlier. I know it sounds super negative but I have had pretty bad luck health wise in life and I cope best by expecting the worst

Glad your DH and LO are doing ok. So weird how it strikes some people really hard and others barely notice. You'll be mega protected after vaccination now though, with all those antibodies!

Took the 2nd round of misoprostol this morning and hopefully its all passed.

My good friend posted her pregnancy announcement on IG this morning which I found very tough. She knows about my MMC :(

Conundrum12345 gosh, that was super insensitive if your friend to post today, when she know what you are going through. I am so sorry you had to see that. On the other note, though, I have everything crossed that you have now passed everything and can begin physically healing. Remember to take things easily, as it takes a while for your body to sort blood levels out following a big bleed.

Scottishskifun I am glad you are starting to feel better, and hope the improvement continues. You are probably really sensible to wait to TTC until you are fully vaccinated, although I am sure that’s not entirely easy. Hopefully, by then, you will be in top form and everything will be easy and straightforward.

AlbiMix she is clearly being insensitive (albeit perhaps unintentionally) and I am sure you did the best thing by not replying.