Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Hi ladies, please can I join?

I had a MC on 13th March just gone, I'd started bleeding and EPU scanned me - I was by myself (thanks Covid) and saw on the scan, then confirmed by sonographer, that by the time I'd got there I'd already passed it. I feel so traumatised from the experience, I was sat crying in the room by myself.

Anyway we tried to TTC this month but my body is all over the place. I've had really strong OPKs and a few positives, cm has been really weird and just hard to pinpoint what my body is doing. And then the last two days I've had blazing positive OPKs (which I've never had before) but don't really 'feel' like I'm ovulating? And I tested positive for Covid two days ago so if I am ovulating, there's no chance of catching it this month. I'm so heartbroken. This isn't my first mc either but I feel like the hospital experience just made it all worse? And now my hormones are clearly whacko?

Sorry for the ramble, just feel like no one understands the pain I'm feeling

Hi @cupcakesandglitter I'm so sorry you're going through this. I found that my ovulation was stronger straight after my miscarriage in December. I ovulated early than I normally do. I'm sure your hormones are just sorting themselves out. Don't worry if you don't get pregnant straight away. You have to heal both physically and emotionally.
Hope you recover quickly from COVID.

Thanks @spookycookies COVID is bloody awful, wouldn't wish it on anyone. I usually ovulate quite late (between CD20-35ish, irregular cycles) but I get the feeling I might have possibly ovulated at like CD11 this month?! Saying that, my body is just all over the place so it's just a waiting game for AF really. You're right about healing mentally, I didn't think of it like that. This is loss number 7 for me, I do have one DD already (miracle baby) so very fortunate in that sense but this is my first MC since having her and can't seem to lessen that ache to be pregnant 😓

@cupcakesandglitter have you had investigations to see what might be causing them?

@spookycookies unfortunately not really - due to crappy doctors who just palmed me off really. Had some bloods done before DD that apparently showed I was ovulating... even though AF turned up three days later. My cycles were all over the place, no confirmed ov for most cycles, no rhyme or reason for my weird LP but would just keep being told "it's fine". DH had SA done which showed basically everything wrong with them, we had less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally (hence DD being a miracle baby!) but my doctors were really poor, they didn't even register the one I went in for, just said "well you aren't pregnant now so..." and that was it. I've since changed doctors and so will be talking to them if I manage to get pregnant again, and see what can be done I guess.

Can I join this thread? Am just going through second miscarriage (ugh). This one was at 9 weeks and last June had one at 8 weeks. In both cases seemed to stop growing btw 5-6 weeks. TTC journey coming up for around 18 months. I just wondered how people feel about trying again? Last time I was happy to go ahead because assumed it wouldn't happen twice! But now am hesistant because can't bear it happening again. Not sure whether I should try to get some private investigations just to double check all ok. Am 38 so wonder if related to age. Hate all the uncertainty!

I'm so glad this thread is here.
At 9.5 weeks last week there was no heartbeat found. Our first pregnancy. At 7 week scanthe babys heartbeat was flying along. Yesterday I started medical management of the MMC.

My husband has been so supportive and wonderful.

I feel like a complete failure. My sister and SILs never had any issues with fertility or miscarriage. Only one friend has experienced a MC, she has been a wonderful support.

Does anyone else feel like this? My heart is just broken :(

@dragonleo so sorry you are going through this. I have also had two. I'm going to try again as soon as I've had my period but it's personal choice. Even though it's been 18months you know you can get pregnant which is half the battle.

@Conundrum12345 you are not a failure. This is a 100% not your fault. Miscarriages are extremely common and just not talked about. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most women will go on to have a perfectly normal, healthy pregnancy. Good luck.

@cupcakesandglitter that's outrageous. I would be complaining. 7 suggests something could be wrong and they should be doing something to find out why. There is medication they can provide or operations they can do. Even fertility treatments. You might not be eligible for these since you have a child but they might suggest them and you could go private if you could afford. Seriously complain. They should investigate after 3.

@spookycookies good for you getting back on it. 🤞 for you. I think I'm going to wait until next cycle and maybe try to do some investigations during that time. The months drag by soooo slowly don't they

Hello, not posted for a week or so. Just trying to come to terms with what has happened. I had another scan at the EPU this morning, which confirmed I’ve had a missed miscarriage. I’m 9w3d and the baby stopped growing at 6 wks.
We were expecting this after a scan two weeks ago. At our last scan we were told that we would have the option to either let it happen naturally, go with medical or surgery with local and general anaesthetic.
My husband and I spent the last two weeks researching the best option and we decided on the surgery with GA as I’m terrified of the thought of the pain.
However, it was a different midwife today and she initially said we couldn’t have surgery because it wouldn’t be a first choice for management. I explained that the previous midwife had basically said it was our choice. After about 15 mins of discussing this, with me in floods of tears she changed her tune and said “if you want surgery then that’s your choice and I can’t stop you”...... that’s not what she’s said initially. She then called a doctor in who, very nicely, also tried to talk me out of it.
The whole thing was very confusing and traumatising. In the end we still opted for surgery but they might not be able to fit me in till W/c 12th April, so there’s a chance it might just happen naturally anyway.
Just can’t believe that we were given such differing information and then pressured into going down a certain route that I didn’t want. They were really bigging up the medical route and said they could fit me in tomorrow... on Easter Sunday 😢😢😢
I’m happy with the outcome but utterly traumatised by the lengths we had to go to to get it. 😣 Has anyone else had the same issue with getting the surgical option?

I’ve been catching up on posts and they brought back the memories of a few weeks ago.

@AlbiMix thanks for replying earlier. The doctor told me those blood disorders can develop even after having had a child. This was my second MC, the first was at 5 weeks so very early. I wouldn’t worry because at this stage there’s ever chance your next pregnancy will be fine. I’m feeling positive for myself as they say early losses are sadly very common.

@cupcakesandglitter I skipped the Ttc for the first cycle after MC and kind of glad I did as this was an odd AF with lots of spotting leading up to it. And the AF start date doesn’t match up with what I thought were ovulation pains.

@dragonleo I’m sorry you’re going through this. I conceived my first child at 38. I’m trying for the second now at 40 and had a couple of early losses so am also contemplating some tests. But I’m also hoping to be third time lucky.

@Conundrum12345 and @IVFWarrior40 I’m so sorry for your loss. I found writing a letter to my lost little one really helped me deal with it.

@IVFWarrior40 this is probably related to COVID unfortunately. I was told that I could have surgery under GA by the midwife.
When I was in the trauma unit and the consultant wanted me prepped for emergency surgery as blood loss wasn't going well I was told that I wouldn't be having a GA as they were trying to avoid them due to covid.

Guidance has come out from midwifery trust etc that says that women shouldn't have to do things alone in pregnancy or miscarriage but many hospitals are trying to reduce time people are in them and also under GA. It's a very sad and frustrating situation.
Well done for sticking with what is right for you.

@Scottishskifun - thanks so much for your response.
I think if they had said that surgical wasn’t an option from the outset that would have been fine. It was just that we were given the options, then went away and did a lot of research to come to an informed decision that was right for us.
To then be told that surgical wasn’t really an option was quite distressing, especially just after the miscarriage had been confirmed.
I think you’re right, it’s to do with Covid.
To be honest, I suspect i will end up miscarrying naturally as the consultant said even if they could book me in that week, there’s a chance it could be cancelled if any emergencies crop up.
Just want it over with 😔

@IVFWarrior40 it's so horrible and sorry they have left you in this situation.
It's like they have to say it so they don't seem like they are restricting things and saying covid as that's what has been said by govt, NHS etc but the reality is very different.

Have some maternity pads on standby incase you do along with pain relief. I went into natural miscarriage before my surgery. Its good to be prepared if you do and know to watch out for excess bleeding. You might also not I was over 5 weeks between hb stopping and going into miscarriage.

Be kind to yourself xx

After taking mifepristone yesterday, I took the 4 tablets of misoprostol 24 hrs later (dissolved orally under tongue). Besides a lot of shivering and cramping within the first hour there has been nothing. Is this normal? Its been three hours.

Conundrum12345 welcome, although I am very sorry you find yourself here. I’m not entirely sure, as I had the drug as a pessary and was told it should start working within four hours, and that happened for me. It may be worth calling the unit that prescribed the medication to check?

IVFWarrior40 I am so sorry you had to fight for the treatment you had chosen. That’s completely wrong and unfair. As others have said, it may be due to restricting surgery because of COVID. I was offered it, but they really bigged up the risks of surgery and downplayed the risks of medical management. Had I really understood the difference, I would have opted straight for surgical, and I do think they used this to gently sway my choice. I am glad you got them to agree in the end, but sorry about the wait.

@miscarriage39

I experienced horrendous cramping for about 30 mins an hour ago. Now have had mild bleeding since. Does the cramping come back and do I bleed more? I just want to know what to expect

@Miscarriage39 - thank you xx
I’m booked in for Friday so yes it’s still a bit of a wait. I just keep telling myself that the worst bit will (hopefully) all be over by this time next week. Such a terrible time for us all. 😔 xx

@Scottishskifun - funny you should mention the maternity pads. I bought some at Tesco the other day. They are very much on standby! Does it just gush out then quite abruptly? Or would I have some warning? xx

Conundrum12345 for me, once the cramping starting it was followed by the loss of lots of blood and big clots, it calmed down for a bit, then more of the same repeatedly. I can’t remember how many weeks you said you were. I think the earlier you are, the milder the overall symptoms. I think, though, it really depends on your body I’m afraid. For now, I would rest and try to relax in case things get more intense later. I hope this is the start of it working for you and that it doesn’t become too intense. Thinking of you.

Sorry for your loss @Conundrum12345 I was the same. 1st pregnancy, HB and all fine at 7 week scan then 9.5 wks no HB and missed miscarriage. I have recently started listening to worst girl gang ever podcast and found it good and helpful x

@IVFWarrior40 for me I had cramping/contraction pain for a few hours and then felt a pop followed by quite heavy bleeding but everyone is different. It's worth keeping an eye on the bleeding as if it's more than 3 pads in an hour then you need to call EPU.
Unfortunately I'm in the rare category of experiencing issues and had a 30% blood loss (hence ending up in trauma EPU) but this is unusual. It's also not to scare you just to be aware of when to seek medical advice if required.

Unfortunately the bleeding was very very intense and the hospital said to come in and I've been admitted overnight.

They removed some of the clots that were stuck which has eased things. I've also passed more since being in. Hope its completed as I just want to go home later today and have cuddles on the couch with my hubby :(

Conundrum12345 I am sorry you have experienced the heavy bleeding, but have everything crossed that you passed everything. How are you feeling this morning? Have they run blood tests? I only ask as I had a heavy bleed and it was only a nurse asking if the doctor was going to do a full blood count that led to him bothering and discovering I needed iron treatment. If they don’t do it automatically, maybe ask. I hope you get to go home today and have those cuddles with your DH. Sending best wishes.

Well, it seems that the ongoing spotting has turned into my period, which is obviously a good thing. I’m geek g a bit disappointed this morning as we can’t TTC this cycle as I need some dental work doing, and it really needs doing under sedation (anaesthetic had previously failed). We are planning to book it in privately, so hopefully I can get it done within the next month or so and can try next time, but for today, feeling a bit sorry for myself.