Page 14 | Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

Miscarriage39 · 30/03/2021 20:58

Scottishskifun that sounds awful. I hope you better soon and avoid going to hospital.

LeeTTCRainbow fingers crossed this a new and sticky pregnancy. Good luck.

treesall I am really sorry for what you are going through. I hope you get an appointment with the recurrent miscarriage team very soon.

spookycookies · 31/03/2021 13:31

My mum sent me a bear in the post. It says hugs and love you on it. I know she's trying to be nice but it feels like a sad reminder. What do I do with it? Would it be bad to throw it straight away?

kiwi17 · 31/03/2021 14:25

@spookycookies I wouldn't know to be honest but my gut would say keep it but put it away somewhere you aren't going to come across it regularly? It may be a comforting thing to have looking back in a few years as a remembrance type thing? But up to you!

Not sure if anyone on here watches Doctors on BBC 1 (it's my one guilty pleasure 😂) but just a trigger warning.. today's episode is all about miscarriage and I found it a hard watch. Hope we're all doing ok today- @Miscarriage39 how are you getting on? I'm now 3dpo and just hanging in to see whether by some miracle things worked or counting down the days til the first af after mc. Hey ho time will tell!

justwant2beamum · 31/03/2021 17:30

@kiwi17 that's good you managed to catch Ov after mc. I didn't, and I also got af today on cd27. So not too far off my usual 28/29 days but I don't know if I ovulated and it's only been 2 weeks since I finished mc bleeding. Hopefully I will ov cd14/15 and this will be a normal cycle. Still a bit gutted I didn't manage to catch straight away but hopefully cycles will be back to normal.

AlbiMix · 31/03/2021 19:44

Hey @spookycookies I would agree with @kiwi17 could you put it away in a cupboard or something for a while? If when you're feeling more emotionally recovered, you still don't want it around, you could donate it to a charity shop or something?

@kiwi I don't watch doctors but your comment reminded me of another series on Netflix which had a MC storyline (won't say which due to spoilers), but I actually coped ok and it was comforting to see it portrayed, as it is so common IRL but rarely seen on TV shows. I'm doing better seeing MC stuff than happy pregnancy stuff tbh 😂

I'm 4DPO in second cycle post MC and keeping my fingers crossed but trying to stay realistic...

kiwi17 · 31/03/2021 20:08

@Albimix I'm 3dpo today so we can be tww buddies ☺ definitely not symptom spotting or googling... at all... 🤣

birdbybird · 31/03/2021 22:00

Best of luck to the ladies in the TWW.

I've been brown-spotting for 4 days and expecting AF at some point. Am skipping TTC this cycle as its the one following the MC and will be back on it next cycle. I don't usually spot before AF so this cycle has been a bit odd.

Anyone on here with recurrent miscarriages had the anti-phospholipid antibodies: anti cardiolipin antibodies, lupus anticoagulant and anti Beta 2 glycoprotein 1 antibodies, or the thrombophilia test?

If so, did you take a break from TTC in order to do these tests.
Apparently you need to have a negative test and then give it a few weeks after that before these tests can be done.

I've pasted that from the letter from my consultant.

Miscarriage39 · 01/04/2021 00:56

Good luck to those of you with your TWW.

I’ve been woken up by a burning sensation in my pelvic area. I’m thinking it may be another UTI, but also worried as I’m continuing to have blood on wiping. I did try to speak to my GP earlier in the week, but couldn’t get an appointment and a message through the receptionist led to a message back that it was probably still post-miscarriage bleeding. I’m now starting to suspect otherwise. I’ll try the EPU in the morning and see what they say.

spookycookies · 01/04/2021 08:46

@Miscarriage39 how long have you been bleeding for? I was told of longer than 3weeks to call epu. Hope you get it sorted soon.

AlbiMix · 01/04/2021 18:38

Haha same here @kiwi17 trying hard not to be obsessive but it's a challenge!

@Miscarriage39 that does sound like a UTI - hopefully you can get the GP to either do a test or prescribe you some antibiotics to see if it clears up?

@birdbybird I have only had one MC so I can't help from experience with your question but I did just read a chapter on that topic in the Miscarriage book by Lesley Regan and I think she said you have to not be pregnant to get those tests, I'm not 100% if I'm recalling that right though.

I actually found that chapter super interesting but also made me a confused. It said that women who have antiphospholipid antibodies are extremely likely to have recurrent MCs and it can be at any point in the pregnancy. It really terrifies me that if I have those antibodies (but don't know yet because I'm only on MC1) I'm condemned to either multiple early MCs or even the additional trauma of a late MC - so why on Earth don't all women just get tested for the antibodies before they TTC? I get it might be expensive but seems worth it to treat people before they have to suffer so much? Especially because treatment is quite straightforward and inexpensive? Does anyone know anything about this subject?

kiwi17 · 01/04/2021 19:12

@Albimix it's so hard! 4dpo today and I've had moderate cramping and back pain this afternoon which I'm trying really hard to ignore and not read into at all 😬😬 I haven't heard of those antibodies? I'm hoping that having had my daughter with no issues I wouldn't have them in case it's something that can develop after a birth... hopefully it's not something you will have to worry about 🤞🤞

Miscarriage39 · 02/04/2021 08:58

Thanks AlbiMix & spookycookies. I did call the EPU but the nurse was too busy to actually talk to me. The relayed message was that it’s probably my cycle sorting itself out, and to call back if it’s still the same in a week. The Go Disney want to treat the potential UTI as I’ve had several recently, so again, I just have to watch and wait, and call back next week if it’s still a problem. Feeling a bit fed up with all these things, and just wanting to feel things are normal. I am also wondering, if this is a period, and literally just a few spots, would it be just as safe to TTC afterwards, as if I had had a proper period? But then again, as I had surgery, maybe my body would only make a very thin lining after the good clean? Who knows!

It’s really frustrating that they won’t do even basic tests until someone has had three miscarriages. So much heartbreak could be saved (& surely, costs for the NHS?) if they picked up straight away in routine issues.

Tabbycat92 · 02/04/2021 09:07

Hello all, currently going through a MC at 5weeks. Absolutely gutted, but it has left me more determined than ever. How long before everyone started to try again?
Also I was booked in for a scan today to see what was going on (whether it was a MC or not) but I did a FRER this morning to check and though positive it's hardly there (like a proper squinted - something that you'd expect at 9dpo) whereas I was getting line stealers before. Would you say it's still worth getting the scan? It's at a really awkward time for us as it's the same time our new kitchen is being delivered 🤦🏽‍♀️ plus I already know baby is gone, so what's the point in getting told what I already know
I'm thinking maybe it was a missed MC from a little while ago that's only now coming out.

justwant2beamum · 02/04/2021 09:18

@Tabbycat92 is it an nhs scan or private paid for? So sorry you're going through this

PolarBear63 · 02/04/2021 09:26

Hope everyone’s doing ok. So sorry you’ve had to join us @Tabbycat92

I cannot believe you’re being fobbed off again @Miscarriage39 it is just shocking. It probably is just your cycle sorting itself out, but a bit of reassurance at an already stressful time wouldn’t go a-miss. UTIs are horrible too so I can’t believe you’re just having to suffer through it.

I had a really tough few days. I think a lot of it is the hormones magnifying everything, which is just a cruel trick really! Stupidly decided to take a pregnancy test yesterday even though it was only 6 days from the MVA, and that was a blazing positive so I just felt like it will be forever before I can try again. Usually I can soothe myself by at least knowing work is going well if stuff outside of it isn’t, but having been in touch with work to find out what’s going on there it just sounds like even more stress and unpleasantness awaits me when I return.

A weekend of eating Easter eggs and getting out in the fresh air will hopefully help. Thank god the stay at home order has finished and I can actually go and do something different.

Tabbycat92 · 02/04/2021 09:40

Hi @justwant2beamum it's an NHS one. Trouble is the hospital is an hour away from me. And we are having new patio door fitted today, so it means getting someone over to 'babysit' the window fitter while we go. Also, I feel it'll be upsetting seeing nothing in that screen, which I'm pretty certain is what I'll see

kiwi17 · 02/04/2021 10:02

Welcome @Tabbycat92 sorry for your loss :( I think from my view and when I had mine, I wanted to have the scan to prove to myself it was definitely over so that I could start to move forward - we had a private scan at 10 weeks after i started spotting which is when we found out there was no heartbeat, followed by an NHS scan a few days later which confirmed that then they went through the different management options for mc with me. I chose expectant management ie letting nature take its course, as I was already starting to bleed anyway. I then had a scan last week to check everything was clear and back to normal which it was - seeing my empty womb on the screen was pretty gutting but on one side positive because it meant I didn't need any further treatment and we could ttc again so they discharged me. It sounds like you possibly are less keen to go? It's up to you but will you regret not going afterwards? I found it was reassuring even though I dreaded it before we went.

kiwi17 · 02/04/2021 10:04

Sorry you're having a rubbish few days @PolarBear63 :( hormones really do make everything worse don't they? I'm sorry work is sounding stressful too, when are you aiming to go Back? Hope you get lots of Easter eggs to munch on! @ Miscarriage39 that sounds really really rubbish I'm so angry for you that you're not getting proper answers or treatment for whatever it is :( hope you manage to get seen soon 🤞

Tabbycat92 · 02/04/2021 10:16

@kiwi17 the issue is I am only 5+2 now and for me to be getting a practically negative test I must have lost it around 4 weeks meaning there wouldn't really be anything to see anyway. Just a yolk sack if anything is still there.
I've rang the EPU this morning and explained the situation and they said there's no point coming in unless I feel unwell which I really don't. No cramps or anything.
I'll see how the next few days play out. I've ordered more tests to ensure that all hcg goes

kiwi17 · 02/04/2021 10:19

@Tabbycat92 I can see where you're coming from and understand why you'd feel that way. I hope that it goes as smoothly as it can for you and it sounds like your EPU are helpful so that's good :)

Tabbycat92 · 02/04/2021 10:50

@kiwi17 Thankyou 😊

treesall · 02/04/2021 13:42

I'm sorry for your loss @Tabbycat92. It really, really sucks.

Sorry you're feeling rubbish @PolarBear63. I think my hcg dropped fairly quickly after my MVA last time so I hope yours goes down quickly now.

I have an MVA booked for Tuesday. Dreading it! On a more positive note, we found out my NHS recurrent miscarriage referral won't be until Sept at the earliest, so I have booked an appointment to see someone privately. It looks like it's going to cost us several thousand just for initial testing which I'm really daunted by, but equally I'm getting older and we don't want to wait forever. So we won't try again until after I've had some tests. I am so cross with my body that it just doesn't work! It's so frustrating after my first pregnancy being so perfect. Grrrr!

spookycookies · 02/04/2021 13:48

@Tabbycat92 I would absolutely go. You want to be sure. Also you may need some management if you're not passing it naturally.

AlbiMix · 02/04/2021 15:13

Hi @Tabbycat92 sorry to hear about your MC. I would've agreed with others that it's reassuring getting the second scan, but if you feel it's not necessary for you then that makes sense.

@PolarBear63 sorry to hear you're having a tough time. It's horrible dreading going back to work, the only positive I guess is that you'll get a distraction from thinking about the MC which might help. And I think you'll feel better in a few weeks when you do get that negative test, I felt so much closure when I got mine, I held off testing until 2 weeks post MC.

I'm also back in a slump as have just had a pregnancy announcement in the family and it feels like yet another reminder of what I haven't been able to do but most people can. Just quite fed up with having to deal with constant health problems in my life and sometimes it just really gets me down. I thought maybe the pregnancy thing would work for me, but of course it didn't. Just having a self-pitying moment

Miscarriage39 · 02/04/2021 19:08

Welcome Tabbycat92. I am really sorry you are going through this. I completely get not wanting to see, and hope your body does it’s job naturally so that you don’t have to have a scan going forward.

AlbiMix that’s not self pitying at all. It does really hurt when other people announce pregnancies. I hope your mood lifts soon.

treesall good luck for Tuesday. That’s brilliant that you have been able to go private for the tests. Do you have an appointment soon? I really hope they come up with a plan for you have a healthy pregnancy in the near future.

PolarBear63 I am sorry you are having a rubbish few days. The hormones are crazy aren’t they?! I am sorry work is stressful too. I hope the chocolate helps, and you feel brighter soon.