Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

I'm so sorry @spookycookies. That must have been an awful, horrible shock. Sending love and hugs your way x

@spookycookies I'm so sorry for your loss :( hope it goes smoothly at the hospital for you and that you have lots of edible treats and a good way of relaxing ready to take it easy. Second consecutive time must be even harder especially after having seen the heartbeat - so horrible for you - virtual hugs 🥀

Oh @spookycookies, I'm sorry this has happened again. That must have been so hard after the joy of hearing the heartbeat. Thinking of you 💐

Thank you. I'm just in shock. I'm also massively pissed off with my mum who is refusing to look after my kid so my partner can come with me. Because of COVID yet she's swanning around all over the place and suggested I ask my MIL (who has cancer) to have her instead. Sorry that's a bit off topic but I've just got off the phone and I'm massively pissed off. Attending appointments without my partner has been so hard and it would be nice to have his support when I'm in hospital.

@spookycookies so sorry to hear this babe, I know that feeling when you see a heartbeat too :( sending you so much love and hugs right now. Please look after yourself we’re all here whatever emotion rant or anything if it helps let it all out to us x

So sorry @spookycookies xx

spookycookies I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can. I initially had a medical procedure, so feel free to ask any questions.

Is there anyone else who could have you children? I really found having my husband there really helpful, although, the nurses were great, so I am sure you will be well supported if it’s not possible.

My friend offered which is so kind of her but not really her responsibility. I think I'll sort something so he can be there for part of the day.

spookycookies don’t be afraid to accept help from paces other than family. Our family dinky really help out, so we used a good friend for childcare when I was at the hospital. If your friend is anything like mine, she wanted to feel helpful at that time.

I am really confused what’s going on with my body. After starting to bleed again yesterday morning, I am still bleeding, but lightly and intermittently. This follows four-five days of nothing, but for the last 36 hours I have had period pain (not severe, but as they normally would be), and feel very hormonal. Pregnancy test is negative, so not sure if this is still delayed bleeding or a sort of period. Guess I’ll call the GP on Monday and ask what she thinks.

@spookycookies I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this twice. I’m dealing with my second at the moment too and it’s just soul destroying. Feel free to PM me for a rant any time.

I definitely agree that you shouldn’t be worried about letting people help you. If ever there was a time to say yes when people make polite offers, it’s now.

Hope your GP has some answers for you @Miscarriage39 it’s so frustrating that bodies just want to do their own weird thing when all you want is some normality. How long ago did you have the miscarriage? Last time round I got my period 4.5 weeks after and it was fairly normal, but then I got a very light period about 3 weeks after that. I think it was my body just getting back in sync with itself.

Just an update here. I got my referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic - first appointment is in May. I'm impressed how quickly the booking letter came through. And this is after two consecutive miscarriages (we're in Bristol) so if anyone else is in a similar position then may be worth pushing for a referral. My age (39) and the fact that my first MMC was after 10 weeks seemed to help the referral process. Now just waiting to hear from GP for standard blood tests and off to my first acupuncture appointment this afternoon.

Also I had to buy a pill box for all my supplements I'm now taking 😂😂

Feeling angry at the world today and I hate it. Don't want to take it out on others but just feeling so angry at everything, including myself. I know it wasn't my fault but today it feels like it. I hate my body for doing this, for reminding me that I'm not lucky enough for this to have been easy. I know I'm being dramatic and emotional and this isn't really the case but today I feel it. 😓

@Pepperony87 I'm sorry you're feeling that way.. you're in the best place here to rant though - I think you could guarantee every single one of us here has felt that way at some point it's completely natural. I've struggled with really angry days too and found it hard not to snap at my daughter and husband but actually I think a lot of it was hormonal and now that's past I feel more rational. Keep talking though we are here to listen! @Miscarriage39 that sounds a bit strange... can't help sorry but I hope your GP can give you some answers- as others have said hopefully it's just your body resetting. 🤞 @DappledOliveGroves glad you're feeling a bit more on track and that you've had your appointment letters through. Let us know how the acupuncture goes I've always been intrigued but too much of a wuss to try 🤣 also I'm very jealous of your funky rainbow pill pot!

@DappledOliveGroves that's interesting that you've been referred after two. I was told yesterday they won't do anything unless I have a third. Are the supplements something suggested by drs for recurrent miscarriage or something you researched yourself or for other reasons?
I'm desperate to try again as soon as I can but terrified it will happen again.

@spookycookies I bought a copy of 'It Starts With the Egg' and started on the recommended supplements there. I then had an appointment with a nutritionist on Monday and she made a few more suggestions.

Not really sure how or why they agreed to refer to the recurrent miscarriage clinic - I think my age is a factor. I have to say that the EPU and my GP have both been really great and supportive - think it's an element of luck.

Hi everyone, just wanted to check in. Sorry to see you here @spookycookies and @PolarBear63 but welcome ❤️

I'm so sorry to hear this is your second loss, it's bad enough once let alone twice! @DappledOliveGroves I'm so glad they're doing investigations for you. This 3 miscarriage rule is so unfair. I really hope they can help you have a successful pregnancy.

I've had a bit of a dramatic 24 hours. I started flooding through pads yesterday at 5am so we had to go to a&e. It got worse and worse and in the waiting area there was a series of such big gushes it went through all my trousers and was going everywhere. Despite all this DH had to beg with the reception staff for a private room! Eventually a nurse took pity on me and took me through and helped me clean up a bit. I eventually passed a big clot which I'd hoped was the main part of it at about 10am and I felt much better and the bleeding eased. I'd hoped it was mainly over after this but a doctor examined me and said there was more at the opening to my womb but she couldn't quite pull it out! So I've got cramps again and a flood this morning just hoping I expel more today and this will soon be over.

That's shocking. How could they leave you like that. Hopefully it will be over for you soon. I'd put in a complaint when you're feeling better. Are you still at the hospital now?

I'm headed to the hospital now. Hopefully I'll be home tonight.

Morning girls, hope your all doing ok today. Good luck @spookycookies and @Hopefulbride18 I know exactly what your going through, this happened with me on two occasions I would have massive gushes of blood so I know how horrible that must have been.I rung 111 and they were worried I’d hem so I had an ambulance come out and take me so wasn’t so bad but they should not have left you like that you poor thing it’s hard enough as it is let alone surrounded by strangers I hope your ok! And hopefully you won’t have another episode the same but if you do I would call 111 you won’t be wasting there time and they can then take you. Hope your ok xxx

That’s just terrible @Hopefulbride18 I do hope you get it all over with today. What an awful situation to be in in A&E. Thank goodness you had your husband there to advocate for you.

I feel quite sad today. I would be going on maternity leave for my first pregnancy that didn’t work out quite soon, and I don’t know if that’s making it feel worse. I very much feel like I won’t feel over this until I’m pregnant again, which wasn’t the case last time. I know it’s still early days though, and I am quite an impatient person anyway.

I feel exactly the same @PolarBear63 I want to be pregnant again so bad. It's my friends baby shower today and my sil is due in 3weeks and I was fine because I was pregnant again and now I'm stressed about how to cope being happy when inside I'm so sad.

I'm also feeling pretty humiliated today. Having to shit in a cardboard tray and leave it for a nurse to root through. And it's freezing in this room.

@spookycookies there is a saying with maternity/EPU that you leave your dignity at the door on the way in and pick it up on the way out. If you describe maternity procedures and miscarriage treatments to someone who doesn't have a clue the look on their face is one of terror and shock.
But the reality is many women also know exactly what you're going through and the nurses don't bat an eyelid to any of it! It's part of what happens and trust me they are used to far worse then the cardboard tray!

@hopefulbride18 that's shocking that they left you. I also had high blood loss and had to undergo a procedure to remove tissue from my cervix to control the bleeding (was prepped for emergency surgery as well) but it was all done in the trauma unit of the maternity hospital which meant that I was automatically taken to a private room. If the bleeding gets heavy again then maybe call them and see if you can go there instead. I was definitely treated with more dignity there.

Thanks for your kind words everyone.
@Nashsophie13 thank you that's good advice. I will do that if it happens again. The doctor did say that it is quite common to bleed very heavily but if it is just gushing out for more than about 20 minutes then you must come in so they can keep an eye on you. They let me out just after lunch though as the bleeding had eased she said she was confident the rest would pass at home.

@spookycookies I'm so sorry your day is already awful in hospital I hope it goes quickly ❤️❤️❤️

I can only imagine how you and @PolarBear63 feel having gone through this twice. I think it is only natural to feel very sad and especially difficult to manage those emotions around others happy news. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice but I do understand how you're feeling. Take care of yourselves. Xx

@spookycookies I felt exactly the same! Other people’s announcements and the looming first maternity leave were ok because I was pregnant again. It’s so cruel to have it ripped from under you twice. I do not know how anyone does this more than twice and dusts themselves down enough to try again. Those people are incredible!

I hope today is ok for you. The lack of dignity is horrible, but it’s definitely true they will have seen it all before. I found the stuff I had to do almost helped because I could laugh a bit about how undignified it was and not focus so much on what the process was actually for. At least it will all be over with soon and that part won’t be looming over you.

Really can’t decide what to do today. We’ve been really good about sticking to the stay at home rules and not going too far for our walks, but I am so bored of it all. I’d love to drive to somewhere different and the stay at home order ends tomorrow, but knowing my luck we’ll get stopped and fined!

Thank you @Scottishskifun I'm so sorry you had to undergo that. Once I was actually in the hospital everyone was lovely and very kind it was just actually trying to get through the doors at a&e where there was an issue.

I know they're a bit blase in the EPU and I don't feel they should repeatedly ask if you're pregnant when they have notes in front of them but I could tell it was because they were all so stretched and busy.

@Hopefulbride18 has your bleeding come about after some sort of medical/surgical management? Hope it sorts itself out quickly for you.

I feel like I live at the epu. This is my 7th visit in 4months. They are generally nice. Only had one nurse who was a bit funny but I think that might be me projecting as it's generally difficult to take things in when you are upset.

@PolarBear63 I'd go for your walk. I absolutely can't wait. Weirdly I have had a big urge to mooch around the shops since this started. I think a combo of alone time and cabin fever. I think taking a nice walk in a different place would be lovely. Would definitely help me.